View Full Version : What do Canines think of Humans?

6th Apr 2004, 14:04
Well we've had just about everything else. mine appear to think I'm a fridge- door opener who wants to sit on their armchair.

surely not
6th Apr 2004, 14:55
Mine would think I looked Dog rough in the mornings :D

6th Apr 2004, 15:13
Why don't they lick their bollox?

Capn Notarious
6th Apr 2004, 15:15
There is the but one canny canine to answer the question: Drapers wee hound; for if its master can turn the keyboard to most subjects what can the hound do!

Shaggy Sheep Driver
6th Apr 2004, 15:47
Dogs only think of crapping, eating, sleeping, barking continuously to annoy the neighbours, shagging sofas. And that's the well behaved ones.:(

Did I mention crapping BTW? And all that effing barking?


Anthony Carn
6th Apr 2004, 16:17
Dog only knows !

I'd guess.......

"Why don't they lie down and chill out more ?"

"Look, I brought the stick back, why do you keep throwing it away again...........f**k, there it goes again !"

"They stare at that flickery box a lot !"

But most of all, one likes to imagine........

"Ahhhhh ! My hero !" :}

6th Apr 2004, 16:49
i would like to point out that maninblack feeds me far too many of those complete dog biscuit things and that i would rather eat the sausages that he cooks for himself.

i would also like to add that using a mouse is very hard when one lacks opposable thumbs. capital letters are also very hard.

maninblack is dashed good looking, very kind and rarely sends me to prison.

he can be recommended to any human woman thing who requires what he calls " a damned good sorting out" which tends to last far too long when he does something that he refers to as "...to within an inch of her life" and causes me to hide under the bed as all that squealing hurts my ears.

Houndinblack (who does not have bad breath)

6th Apr 2004, 16:55
Arrogant, baztardz,

but get the great aroma of those crotches!

Standard Noise
6th Apr 2004, 17:18
Well for now, at least until Mrs Noise gets home from earning me some more beer vouchers, Lucifer thinks I'm God. It's her fourth birthday today and I got her a nice juicy bone and some choccies from the pet shop. I can do no wrong. That will change tomorrow morning however, as, when I stop her having a chomp at the postman's leg, I will be "that miserable fat biped" once more.

But she'll still love me, til the wife gets home.:{

6th Apr 2004, 19:35
Contrary to popular belief, most canines are cannily conserving their energies for the day their keepers decide to climb Mt. Everest or walk from John o'Groats to Land's End and want some company...

6th Apr 2004, 20:00
That is the last time I leave the computer turned on when I go out. :*

Houndinblack was begging for carrots earlier and all the time when I was feeding her I didn't know the damned quadruped had been prooning.

6th Apr 2004, 23:09

"We give to them the time we can spare,
We give to them the food we can spare,
We give to them the love we can spare
And in return they give us their All".

West Coast
6th Apr 2004, 23:47
They have to believe they are at least as loved as the women of the household.

I would take a blind crippled, one legged, 10 year old dog who answers to the name lucky over a cat any day of the week.

7th Apr 2004, 00:44
Why don't they lick their bollox?

Because if we could, my brother would never leave the house!

(BTW Fishtits.........working on buying the boat! Hope you don't mind me setting your name on the bow!! *Still makes me laugh every time I see it!*)

Standard Noise
7th Apr 2004, 03:11
Ah well, Lucifer once again showed how fickle she is, as soon as Mrs Noise came home from the coalface, she was showered with love and affection. The only attention I got (before leaving to come to my glass cage) was when Lucifer lived up to her name and kicked me in the janglies while I was watching the footy.

BlueEagle, Lucifer can have no complaints -
She gets more time than poor Noisy jnr,
Her food costs a little over £3/kilo (more than ours!),
The wife is jealous about the amount of love Lucifer gets,
And in return, she bites me and jumps up on me soft bits!
Oh yeah, and we holiday in the UK only in places which will accept pets so she doesn't have to go into kennels. Last time we "incarcerated" her she went psycho for a fortnight!:uhoh:

What she really thinks is, "I'm onto a winner here, this lot are soft as putty."

7th Apr 2004, 08:48
she bites me and jumps up on me soft bits!

Had a girlfriend like that once, bloody tiring.:(

7th Apr 2004, 09:30
I would love to question the refuge, I discovered in my courtyard, when I opened the door this morning, but I don't speak his language.
I was greeted by a Yorkie looking at me, shaking like a leaf. He is now sat in the corner of the yard still shaking and won't take food or water.
It appears he was seen running from his Spanish owners last night by several neighbours.
What is "I apply for political asylum" in dog speak"?

7th Apr 2004, 09:52
don't trust those spanish dogs, they are all chorizo and flamenco.

they sit there looking doleful with big brown eyes and then as soon as your back is turned they roar up your poodle like a poodle roaring thing.

i met this nice jack russell once, good english stock, i heard that one called small hound lives with tony draper, can anyone organise a blind date?..........sorry, maninblack is coming back, time to get off the chair and back on four legs.

7th Apr 2004, 09:57

working on buying the boat! Hope you don't mind me setting your name on the bow

Be my guest.... On condition that I can call my large breasted guppy Jerricho!


7th Apr 2004, 13:38
What is "I apply for political asylum" in dog speak"?

I would guess that shaking like a leaf is a pretty good sign it needs some TLC.

7th Apr 2004, 14:24
After eating about two days supplies, said fugitive escaped.

However it has now been brought to my attention that the a*s* o'les claiming ownership are the Spanish family of trainee convicts next door. They have already "disposed" of a parrot and a Jack Russell in the last three months.

No wonder my guest was quaking so much and was seen running from them last night.:mad:

7th Apr 2004, 14:30

Report the fcukers...

Here (http://www.rspca.org.uk/servlet/Satellite?pagename=RSPCA/News/NewsFeature)

Or ring cruelty line at 0870 55 55 999

Cannot abide mistreatment of animals.


7th Apr 2004, 14:35
Problem fishtits, is that I am in Spain.....
Uk phone numbers and animal agencies are no use here.....BUT

I have a plan.......

If I take the dog to a vet, who declares it's "unchipped", I can claim it as mine, under the Law here,, return to the vet for chipping and then bring him home.

Serve them right!

Just hope he returns later and doesn't fall into evil hands again.

Sorry to bring something serious to this thread folks, but I'm absolutely f'ing furious with those:mad: :mad: :mad: gits next door!

7th Apr 2004, 14:37

Bloody good on you mate.:ok:

Go for it. Maybe you can call it Jetblast?:)

If he returns to the gits that mistreated him (which I doubt, dogs have sense) you could get them done for stealing him. I truly detest those who mistreat kids and animals.

7th Apr 2004, 14:39
IB4138, a damn fine plan!


Asociación Nacional para la Defensa de los Animales
Tudescos, 4-4
ES - 28004 Madrid
Phone: +34 9 15226975 Fax: +34 9 15234186
E-mail: [email protected]

Good on ya.


7th Apr 2004, 23:49
Oh that says large breasted guppy. I though it was large bollocked puppy :cool: Best get my eyes checked