View Full Version : THE ASHES.

Big Red ' L '
30th Jun 2001, 21:53
Well, I gotta say after the Ozzies win in the recent tourny between England and Pakistan, (both Pak and Eng put out rather below standard teams... ;) )I think England will thrash them this time round. I think Tugga will play well and also Glem Mc but as for the likes of Warny, well he's just too fat now and nowhere near as good as he has been. As for Brett Lee and his dodgy 80s style haircut (can't wait, to hear the crowd giving him some stick...) Athers and Co will hammer him all over the ground. Looking forward to this one. It should be a cracking series.

You splitter
30th Jun 2001, 21:59
Yeah. Looking 4ward to it. Only trouble is I'm away for two weeks. Bloody typical.
I shall have to rely on the rather excellent C4 cricket website though.

Good result for the Lions as well.

1st Jul 2001, 01:00
Big Red, I hope you are right but I fear you are not. The Aussies did not even break a sweat in the one day final against Pakistan. True One-days are one thing and Tests are another but the Aussies are the best team in the world.

And with Thorpey out our batting will be under strength for at least the first test. However, the England Test team is looking better than it has done going into this Ashes series than it has for a long time. I predict 3-2 to Aussie.

Swamp Rat
1st Jul 2001, 13:20
You Poms are going to get your @rses kicked, and I am willing to put 10 cases of Castle on it !!
The Aussies are way to good for a mediocre cricket side like England :) :) :), even if it is at home.
I am serious, I will make a plan to get those beers across if I lose this one, who is keen ???

Big Red ' L '
1st Jul 2001, 15:15
Thats cool Swampy..... I will offer 10 cases of Guinness if your right. Deal..?

4th Jul 2001, 10:21
Poor, poor, Poms. That you put your unfortunate views and predictions in an open forum, completely unprotected from the upcoming ridicule. Far be it from me to ridicule a Pom, though. ;)

Big Red ' L '
4th Jul 2001, 12:50
Hold on, shouldn't we be called 'whinging poms....' ?

4th Jul 2001, 14:08
guyincognito -

Just being realistic, and besides, if we avoid over confidence we are far more likely to cause a surprise or two. We all know who the favourites are for this series, England are the underdogs and I make my prediction in the hope that our team prove me wrong......

At any rate, poor old Aussies got their arses kicked on Saturday mate, and you'd better be prepared for another one at Melbourne!!!!

Enough of the kidology designed to make Aussie drop their guard.......


[This message has been edited by Wedge (edited 04 July 2001).]

Swamp Rat
4th Jul 2001, 17:21
Big Red L,

Sorry it`s taken so long to get back to you Mate, but the Internet isn`t always on line in this neck of the woods !!
10 cases it is then, I take it this is a series both of us will be watching closely.
No hard feelings when you have to get the 10 cases to this part of the world :) :) :)

Keep in touch,


Biggles Flies Undone
4th Jul 2001, 17:51
Good on you for putting your wedge where your mouth is BRL.

Bit of a risky bet though, mate. The Aussies are a fantastic cricket TEAM. England, meanwhile, have injury problems of their own making and have taken a bit of a pounding recently.

Mind you, The Lions have overcome some bad stuff, not all of their own making, and shown real strength in depth - character and ability wise.

We may still see the day where the new sobriquet is “Whingeing Wallabies” :)

5th Jul 2001, 05:28
Maybe you should get some of your ruggers boys on the cricket pitch. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

5th Jul 2001, 11:38
Oh dear, Big Red, where were you when I was gambling? The odds are everything when gambling, and those whose profession it is to assess the odds on various things currently quote England as 13/2 chances ($7.50 for $1) to win or draw the series. You should be expecting 65 cases for an England win if you are betting 10 cases yourself; even if you were to somehow win the bet, it's a dumb bet. I'm afraid wanting something to happen doesn't improve the chances. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif

Mate, I finally gave up gambling (almost); I strongly suggest you do the same. :)

(By the way, if there are any more Big Reds out there I'll give you twice the odds he got :) )

Big Red ' L '
5th Jul 2001, 12:24
Binocs...... Good post there about the odds etc, shame though as i am not really a gambling man. Never have been, never will be except for the annual 1 each way bet on whatever takes my fancy in the Grand National.

The 'bet' is just a spur of the moment thing. Its not about odds as you think, purely a little something to give the series an extra edge to it and also primarily a bit of fun. I couldn't give a toss if the odds were 1.000.000 to 1 on or evens..!!

I'm afraid wanting something to happen doesn't improve the chances.

So, are you saying the ashes are already won then or have i read that wrong..?

Take it easy..... :)

(Edited to try and enable UBB code....)

[This message has been edited by Big Red ' L ' (edited 05 July 2001).]

Swamp Rat
5th Jul 2001, 12:32
Big Red,

Howzit going Mate ?
I wouldn`t worry what the peanut gallery has to say, I agree with you it`s a bit of fun.
They have no idea how much this is going to cost me if I lose !
The Pula is a lot weaker than the Pound, It might even be cheaper if I bought you a ticket and you came out here and drank them !
A bets a bet so this could be a good laugh,
Good Luck Mate,

Swampy :)

5th Jul 2001, 14:07
Big Red: I'm afraid that yes, that's what I am saying http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif 13/2 is massive odds in a 2 horse race and accurately reflects England's chances.

As I type this listening to the beginning of the test England have lost their first wicket in the second over, and almost their second. I'm afraid that the momentum of this Australian team is unstoppable, and England will be a shattered mess by the end of the series. I genuinely hope I'm wrong because as our series in India proved, a tight contest is much more interesting.

Swamp Rat; why wouldn't it be a bit of fun for you? You do nothing and collect ten cases of beer. Not quite the certainty of death and taxes, but the next best thing. I'd think it was fun too.

Big Red ' L '
5th Jul 2001, 14:25
Ok Swampy, how about this, we look for an internet site that delivers beer anywhere in the world and do it that way, cuts down the cost of postage and you/I still get the beer.?
By the way, what is Castle..? Don't think i have seen it here in the uk. Is it a beer, lager, bitter, mild...?

5th Jul 2001, 14:34
Hello chaps!!

Try these sites;



(you'll have to cut/paste the URLs)

Can't find one that do worldwide, but I'm sure you lot can work out how to do this!!!

More into wimbledon at the moment, but I will watch ashes if it was necessary to save life........

Live long and Prosper.....

[This message has been edited by swashplate (edited 05 July 2001).]

Big Red ' L '
5th Jul 2001, 17:24
Brilliant swash.....Thanks very much indeed.

5th Jul 2001, 17:55
Binocs, don't jump to conclusions, anything can happen in cricket. I thought the same as you when Trescothick was out, then there was a short recovery where we looked very confident with Atherton and Butcher. However, since I started typing this message, Ward is out (159-5) and the rot has set in!!!!

Warne is looking almost as dangerous as ever. But we've got some good bowlers, we ain't gonna make it easy for the Aussie batters........

5th Jul 2001, 20:15
A truly FIRST CLASS 10th. wicket stand between Andy Caddick & Alex Stewart...

Caddick's best Test Innings ever, batting superbly - not (as was expected) merely providing a bit of support for Stewart while he got a few more runs to make the England score look a bit less dismal. But ending on a half-way respectabel batting total.

It's going to be a good series!

Radar Departure2
6th Jul 2001, 03:01
OK, statisticians. When was the last time over 420 runs were scored on the opening day of a test match? Phew!


6th Jul 2001, 03:56
Good to see the Aussies presented with the new world championship trophy just before the match. Nothing like a psych out to start a series! ;)

Biggles Flies Undone
6th Jul 2001, 12:49
Well, whatever the final result, it was an absolutely spellbinding day's cricket! The best first day of a test match I can ever remember watching.

Good on the Aussies too for having a go when it was their turn to bat. If only that Slater geezer had been born over here http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif

Swamp Rat
6th Jul 2001, 14:26
Big Red,

Well well, not a bad start to the series, looks like there should be a result in the first test as long as it doesn`t rain.

I agree mate anyway which makes this as cheap as possible for whoever loses :)

Castle is a lager (very popular in and around Southern Africa).
They sponsor the South African Cricket and Rugby sides, it was also voted the worlds best lager last year in England (Trent I think ?)
So I am sure you will enjoy !!


[This message has been edited by Swamp Rat (edited 06 July 2001).]

6th Jul 2001, 15:57

There is nothing like an Ashes series during a southern winter to remind you that summer will come back eventually.

What a days cricket (1st Test Day 1). Looks like us Aussies will be deprived of much sleep for the next couple of months.
I am very afraid that I will be flying next time a day like that is played.

Sooooo, can any one tell me a HF frequency that I could listen to. I used to listen to Sportsworld on the BBC world service (Sat 1400 - 1700 6195 Mhz) but just learnt that the Beeb has pulled the plug on short wave broadcasts. Does any one know a replacement HF frequency? Also is Radio Australia broadcasting it?

Go the Aussies. (Pity I can't watch them go during the first session of each day)

7th Jul 2001, 07:07
Big Red,
You picked it like a nose! Warney has been in too good a paddock for too long and is plainly past it. Just imagine if he had been at fighting weight and in form. He probably would have taken all 10 wickets rather than a miserable 5/71.


Say again, Approach....you want us to do what???

Clarence Oveur
7th Jul 2001, 07:46
But was is it with those white pants??.

7th Jul 2001, 09:13
Definition of an optimist?
An English batsman wearing sunscreen to the crease. :)
They CAN play rugby though.

7th Jul 2001, 09:27
The Barmy Army (lions fans) became the Balmy Army this week after venturing north to Cairns, this week. Almost three and a half thousand of the blighters invaded Cairns after the first test in Brisbane last weekend.

A spokesman for the tourism operators in Cairns was quoted in saying, “the fans, who were prone to doing a lot of singing and drinking, :) would be welcomed back with open arms.”
They’re very well behaved; they’re certainly not young and foolish. They tend to be middle aged, and are obviously fairly wealthy … they sing and drink a lot and have a great time.

No wonder there’s hardly any beer left in the pubs ……oh well, maybe things will change for them after this weekend in Melbourne :)

Laughter comes out of adversity, not out of good times.

7th Jul 2001, 18:21
As an Aussie, can I have a rant about cricket while the Poms bring out their favourite ally, the rain? :D (Hey, TG can do it with politics for no reason, and I assume anybody who is this far into this thread likes cricket….and the forums are unavailable at the moment too… ;)

Yesterday while Mark Waugh was struggling, I found myself wanting him to get out to let Damien Martyn to the crease. I’m not sure the Poms realize how good he is. Outrageous form in lead up matches doesn’t always translate to Tests, but watching him when he batted I was struck by how easy he made it look. The English bowlers were to be congratulated for their accuracy in hitting the middle of his bat every time.

I didn’t see any of him leading up to the rain delay today (3rd day) because of the Lions Test, but I wouldn’t mind betting the English team and supporters are heartily sick of the sight of him by the end of this series. This is a man batting as well as anyone in the world, at the moment and over the last 18 months, averaging about 80 on the times he has been asked to fill in.

Big Red L, Hug Monster, and others expecting a close series, a quick question for you: being realistic, how many of the English team would get a spot in the current Aussie team? In the absence of the honest Graeme Thorpe, I suggest Darren Gough would be the only one even to merit consideration.

Alternatively, I wonder how much the English selectors would give to be able to select a Test batting line up from Jamie Cox, Jimmy Maher, Darren Lehmann, Stuart Law, Simon Katich, Michael Bevan, Greg Blewett, Andrew Symonds, and a few others whose names escape me at the moment who are all in England at the moment and can’t get a run in the current Aussie side. In all honesty, I believe that lineup would be selected lock stock and barrel for England.

But this wasn’t meant to be a gloating post. I am a lover of sport in general, and cricket in particular, and while it’s nice to maintain superiority over the mother country, I believe it’s important that one side doesn’t dominate for too long in a sport which only ten or so countries play. The West Indies brutal domination over more than a decade in my opinion almost destroyed Test cricket, which was only saved as a spectator sport by the emergence of Shane Warne.

And the best, The Single Best Thing to happen recently has been the Australian defeat in India. Because of the ridiculous provinciality and Anglocentricity of the morons who run Oz TV, we saw none of it here on free to air TV, so I was reintroduced to the joys of “watching” cricket on the radio, and I was absolutely rivetted by the whole series, certainly the finest series played since I have been following cricket (1963) and a worthy challenger for the greatest series of all time. It is almost criminal how little we have seen of Sachin Tendulkar over here. Geez, I’m starting to sound like TG….

Umm, where was I? Oh yeah… Australia WILL convincingly win the Ashes series, but I genuinely hope England can put up stern resistance; Good luck gentlemen! Off now to watch Wimbledon unless it’s raining there too; please Lord, let Justine wipe the smirk off Venus’s face…..

Let’s talk more at the Ozbash…………………………R 30;…..

Luke SkyToddler
8th Jul 2001, 02:12
Swampy & Big Red -

I don't think in a million years that the pay off will be needing to be made at the UK end, but Oddbins stock Castle (3 for a 4 pack of stubbies).

What about that Gilchrist today chaps! It's been a long time since I was on the edge of my seat watching a test match that didn't even feature my home side! That Aussie cricket team is sneaking back up towards top form - and by that, I mean the best national side in the history of the sport, NO contest.

And those Lions seem to have experienced a minor derailment as well, they are gonna be utterly destroyed in the deciding match ... it guts me to say it but the Aussie rugby union team is the best in the world by a mile right now as well.

I kind of hope Henman wins his Wimbledon semifinal so that Rafter can thrash him, and the Brits can suffer the indignity of losing to the Aussies in three major sporting events, in a single week :D

8th Jul 2001, 10:17
Just a couple of questions........

What is the English version of a hat trick?

3 runs off 3 balls.

What's the difference between Nassar Hussain and Saddam Hussein?

Saddam Hussein has had more victories.

What is the height of optimism?

An English batsman applying sun screen.

How bad is the English batting?

The selectors are looking at moving the Extras up the order.

What's the outstanding feature of the English pace attack?

Andy Caddick's ears.

8th Jul 2001, 15:51
Binocs, beginning to sound like TG? God forbid! One is quite enough (or should that be one too many ;)) You are absolutely right however, I fear. Many of Aussie's second team would be hard to leave out of the England first team [Stewart is out 148-4]. One question though, what happened to Matthew Elliot, he was outstanding last time you toured. Michael Slater was commentating for TV for the one-day series, was he called up because of injury? Another excellent Aussie batsman.

This is the Ashes however, and I think the Aussies really do like to see England put up a good fight, as long as they still win! The plain fact is Australia have the best team and squad in the world, and by a very long way. Botham always used to say that you could get any eleven guys off Bondi beach and they would give you a good game. I think that the Aussies care a lot more about cricket than many people here sadly. In schools cricket is just not played much anymore. On the other hand maybe it's because there's sod all else to do in Oz. Glenn McGrath was from a sheep farmer family out in the stix so no wonder he had all that time to work on his action!

Whiskery - actually Hussain has just won four series on the spin, including the famous victory of W.Indies last summer. He's the most successful Captain we've had in years (although that's not saying much!).

Q. What's the definition of a well balanced Australian?

A. One with a chip on BOTH shoulders! :D

[150-5....there goes Afzaal........ :(]

8th Jul 2001, 16:02
Oh dear....154-6. :(

8th Jul 2001, 16:05
As they say

A short game is a good game


Gash Handlin
8th Jul 2001, 16:08
Looks like we're staring down the barrel of an innings defeat! 128 runs behind and only 4 wickets left :( :(

Buster Hyman
8th Jul 2001, 16:24
Well, at least we can get some sleep over here!!!

Can someone tell me where to get the t-shirts saying; "It aint over 'till the fat boy spins!"

And just to rub a bit more salt in, fancy the Lions losing in a city where they don't like Rugby much!! :p

8th Jul 2001, 16:31
Wedge; Good question re Elliott. I was convinced he had the goods to be the long term answer as Taylor's replacement. I believe there may have been an injury problem, but basically he lost form at the wrong time, and once you are out of the Aussie side it's a long haul back in. He averaged 40 in our Shield last season, but he doesn't even feature in conversations about possible callups to the Test side. He seems unlikely ever to play for Australia again.

8th Jul 2001, 18:17
All out 164 and Tim Henman out of Wimbledon

8th Jul 2001, 19:58
And not only that, but the Williams family chalks up another one. An impossible Belgian fantasy run over by a ten ton truck; is nothing going to save us from a decade of domination by this unpleasant family?

And to make things worse, the one dimensional Yugoslav shatters the prospect of perhaps the last ever chance of a Wimbledon final between two genuine serve/volleyers.


9th Jul 2001, 01:56
Maybe this thread should have been called "The thrASHES"
BTW, at last call the Oz womens cricket team were giving the Poms some stick as well.

How do you tell if a Pom is level headed?
A. The sh!t dribbles out of both corners of the mouth.


Dave Incognito
9th Jul 2001, 04:30
Lets just hope that "Our Pat Rafter" can get past Isnavisnavisnavitch tonight. :D

He's not in my good books after his unsportsman like comments about "Our Mark Woodford" a couple of years back.

9th Jul 2001, 06:09
I don't come over here often, but I have to say.....Oh the beauty of it all.....but I can also remember back a few years when things were not so good, and did we cop some stick then

9th Jul 2001, 07:17
Just ONCE I'd love it for an English sporting team to come up with the goods. They start very strongly in every series/tourny/competition etc., but when push comes to shove [if not before] our teams fold.

Come on fellas [and lasses where applicable] show us you can do it!! 'Cause we know you can.

[ 09 July 2001: Message edited by: Squiddley ]

Swamp Rat
9th Jul 2001, 16:03
Big Red,

An Innings and 118 runs, even I didn`t think it would be that bad :D
What were all the laughs about Shane Warne being past it ? 8 wickets in a test isn`t that bad !!
One down four to go :D :D :D :D :D

9th Jul 2001, 16:56
Why do I get the feeling that we're going to get a ton of stick from the Aussies and Aussie lovers over the next couple of months?

Our last hope lies with Goran..........

Dave Incognito
9th Jul 2001, 18:52
Oh well, you can't have it all. Isnavisnavisnavic over "Our Pat" in 5 sets. :(

At least we still have the win over the Lions, first test victory, and the womens cricket team securing their series... :D

Biggles Flies Undone
9th Jul 2001, 19:05
Dave - Australia also won the Speedway World Cup at the weekend. I saw Jason Crump in action a couple of times last year - a truly great rider.

All in all a bloody good few days for Australian sport.

I'm an eternal optimist though - just hope the Lions can scrape together enough walking wounded to win the series on Saturday. I'll book a late call, oxgen and analgesics for Sunday morning just in case the lads pull it off :D

10th Jul 2001, 02:10
Oooooooooh dear. Early days yet, early days.... :(

10th Jul 2001, 11:46
Readability5 - does Goran play cricket?

Swamp Rat
11th Jul 2001, 13:06
One down, Four to go !! :D :D :D

Classic Dick
12th Jul 2001, 04:54
Whiskery,do you fancy a small wager on the outcome of the Lions v Wallabies match in Sydney this week end? I'll put a pint of Boddingtons on the Lions to win and take the series 2-1.

We'll settle next time you're in Gatwick for sim. Let's say....... at the George Hotel in Crawley?


13th Jul 2001, 14:25
My dearest Richard,

The topic, my friend, is THE ASHES. Not Rugby Union,Tennis,Athletics or any other sport mentioned to try and divert the hopeless position that England find themselves in regarding the game of CRICKET !

However, I shall take up this wager of yours only because I desire to have a drink with your goodself and don't give a rat's a$$ who pays. My only request is we partake of this pleasure at the Eight Bells in Horley instead of the "George".

I will be in Gatwick on the 4th August, Holiday Inn. Crawley....as if you didn't know!

Congratulations to Darren Gough and goodonyaa ! The only Englishman with spine to take on the Captain's job for England - he can come and play for Ooorstrylia any day.

Classic Dick
15th Jul 2001, 01:08
Will see you on the 4th Whiskery. I will bring my wallet and the EAR PLUGS.

Swamp Rat
19th Jul 2001, 11:57
Big Red L

Long time no hear ! Let`s hope the rain doesn`t ruin things at Lords, and we get a result no matter the outcome.
I am about to turn the telly on and see how things are going, a lot of unfair pressure being put on Thorpe though.
Hope to hear from you soon.


22nd Jul 2001, 14:48
Big Red,
Send the 10 cases now.......we are two wickets away from an innings defeat.

I was hoping to go to Lord's on Monday to watch some Test cricket.......forget about it.

I did warn you though :D

22nd Jul 2001, 15:55
All over now, 2 nil, at least you made us bat again.

Swamp Rat
22nd Jul 2001, 17:08
Two down, three to go.
I can taste the beer already.
Big Red L, try some rain dances, but I fear it`s all over bar the shouting.
:D :D :D :D :D

23rd Jul 2001, 07:50
Swampy - rain dances will not help England's cause, they must win the next three tests to win back the ASHES. Now they could do this.............if

The Waugh brothers,Hayden,Martyn,Gilchrist,McGrath,Gillespie and Warne all came down with a mystery illness and had to be replaced with the Fremantle Dockers football team. No....it would still be a struggle!

I did feel for Michael Atherton. He made me laugh when the commentator after the match asked if Nassar Hussain was going to be OK for the third test.
"God I do hope so" was his reply.


[ 23 July 2001: Message edited by: Whiskery ]

23rd Jul 2001, 12:21
OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH dear....!!!!!!!!!! :(

I wish i knew what hotel the aussies are staying at so i could go around there and make loads of noise outside all night. :eek: Failing that, i would bribe the manager to show the porn channel free all night in the teams rooms.. ;)

Actually, i thought it was a boring second test. Good cricket from the aussies as usual but not very exciting from the England team. Bring back Nasser....!! Don't think so. I don't know how anyone could save this for England right now. Except of course, if there is rain for the next one and England win the last two....(Stop laughing..... :D )Oh well, one can only hope......

Now, where did i put my voodoo/rain dance book...? :rolleyes:

23rd Jul 2001, 12:45
Big Red -

The Aussies always stay at the Waldorf in Aldwych, just round the corner from Australia House. See ya there! ;)

Swamp Rat
24th Jul 2001, 14:11

I have to agree, I pissed myself laughing :D :D :D
It did show the plight of English cricket though. I don`t know how happy the selectors would have been with him :eek:
It did however give the Aussie side a good laugh !!

Final 3 Greens
24th Jul 2001, 20:08
As a Pom, I hate to say this, but the Oz team this year is magnificent.

I've been watching Ashes tests since 1972 and whilst this current team doesn't necessarily have the best players from that period on show (although they are pretty good), the way they pull together as a team is a lesson for us all.

It wasn't always that way .... from around 1977 to the late 80s, Oz were a poor team and Alan Border must have wondered if they would ever win a series again.

If England have any gumption, they will take this series on the chin, learn from some great teachers (albeit not a comfortable experience) and start to build a strategy to deliver consistent performances in the next 3-4 years.

If OZ can do it, so can we.

Meanwhile, lets enjoy watching a great team play the best game in the world ... I wish I could have seen the Don play, but this lot are on a par for collective ability against his benchmark for individual performance.

2nd Aug 2001, 13:37
On the verge of retaining the ASHES for a record equalling 7 long years........

God Save the Queen, because nothing will save England!

Jokes aside now -

Good luck to Steve Waugh and the lads and genuine best wishes to Mike Atherton and the English boys as well, for a competetive test match. May the best team win.

2nd Aug 2001, 14:05
Just put the cricket on five minutes late and Atherton is out already. I think we'll win this one ;)

Swamp Rat
2nd Aug 2001, 14:18
Big red L,

You still around mate cause I`m getting thirsty :D ;) :D

Biggles Flies Undone
2nd Aug 2001, 15:46
A full strength England side would do well to take this magnificent Australian team to 5 days, let alone actually winning a match. With the loss of five first choice batsmen (plus two first choice replacements) and a limited choice of bowlers, we will do well to avoid a complete rout. Beats the hell out of me why they left Tufnell out, especially bearing in mind the state of the pitch, weather forecast and the great county form he is in. I know he’s got a bad boy image, but the selectors really should ignore that if they want to save some semblance of credibility from what is increasingly looking like a total whitewash.

Anyway, cricket is only played by a handful of countries. Soccer is played by the whole world and we can whip the Aussies at that anytime :D

2nd Aug 2001, 16:03
Just a general question. Since when has it been out, when a catch is taken from an armguard?

I know it wouldn't change the rout that is to be Englands fate, but we need to start thinking about using the third umpire who has access to some of the electronic toys the tv boys bring to a match.

2nd Aug 2001, 16:44
Swampy, I am here mate, watching this, crying my bloody eyes out...93-3...

(You did say 10 cans didn't you...!!!! :)

95-3 now.....

2nd Aug 2001, 21:45
Hold on......Bad light stops play at 105-7....
Looks like a great game just opened up here. 80 behind and 3 wickets to go, the second innings should be some game to watch, lets hope England get their act together. :)

Gash Handlin
2nd Aug 2001, 21:48
Swampy, Whiskery and Wedge,

Hope you're not too thirsty :D :D

England 185 all out :( , Aus 105-7 :D Looks like England are finally getting it together (a little bit), but we've got a long way to go.

But Caddick has had an outstanding hour and a half, Gough and Tudor have done bloody well too

keep it up boys

[ 02 August 2001: Message edited by: Gash Handlin ]

2nd Aug 2001, 23:51
I am meeting OzXpat for lunch tomorrow at 1145 - with a bit of luck we'll take the other 3 wickets before then and guess who is gonna get ribbed rotten? :p :cool: :D

Mr Creosote
3rd Aug 2001, 04:38

I wouldn't be so sure about England beating the Aussies at soccer these days! We've got quite a few players in the European leagues now, and the standard's improving year by year. We've given some pretty good sides (like Brazil) a run for their money lately (and beaten them) - and that's without recalling players like Kewell and Viduka. We'll just have to see who's in the next world cup and who isn't ! :D

BTW, anybody watch the recent world swimming championships. :D :D

3rd Aug 2001, 07:35
Before you Aussies get too smug, ask yourselves just when did Eddie Charlton last win anything?

3rd Aug 2001, 11:08
Gash Handlin - I'll drink to that,looks like the start of a great match. Just hope Gilchrist and Lee don't spoil the party.

Max_cont - you cannot be given out, caught behind off an elbow or arm guard. But - sh!t happens.

Biggles FU. If aunty had had balls she would have been uncle.

No Surrender,you're not talking cricket,you're talking ancient history. I was only a teenager when Eddie Charlton was winning world snooker championships.

In to the sim for the first two sessions but have the mini bar stocked full of Fosters for after "tea". I really hope this match stays on an even keel - for cricket's sake!

Biggles Flies Undone
3rd Aug 2001, 13:18
Mr Creosote – point taken. I’m not trying to belittle Australia’s efforts to get up to speed but, as far as World Cup qualification is concerned, how many winners of previous World Cups do they have to contend with in their group?

I thought Swampy was a bit cruel taking BRL up on the bet when he could probably have gotten odds of at least 25-1 on England winning the series (before the start of the Ashes series Ladbrokes were offering 7-1 on an Aussie whitewash). Anyway, I’d be quite happy to have the same bet with you on the outcome of the next meeting between England and Australia at soccer

3 Holer
4th Aug 2001, 13:31
Ladbrokes being very generous. Best odds for the clean sweep down here in Oz was 3-1 ON!
Then again, when you consider the english weather,I guess you could bet on at least one match would have prevented a win for the aussies due to rain! Nice session Shane,just keep concentrating on the cricket mate and leave the mobile at the pub.

4th Aug 2001, 15:06
158 to win and equal the record of seven long years. I think England ended up about 40 runs too short but another couple of hours will tell. I would have the two talls open the bowling - Caddick and Tudor. It's a pitch made for tall bowlers (unless you have a Shane Warne in your team)and Darren Gough can tidy up the tail end - if England get that far!

See you tonight Dick at the Eight Bells and we can talk Rugby Union...heh,heh,heh,ha,ha,ha!

4th Aug 2001, 15:44
I don't wish to be a pedant, but I let it go the first time; the seven long years quoted here is in fact seven consecutive Ashes series, stretching from 1989.


Gash Handlin
4th Aug 2001, 18:57
didn't want your pathetic little pot of burnt wood anyway :( :( :(

The Keg
4th Aug 2001, 19:31
3-0 do I have to say it again?

Who was that back in late June talking about Warnie being too fat. He smokes as well but it doesn't stop him taking 5 baggers. RIP POMS. :D :p :) :D

4th Aug 2001, 19:50
As I said before the series started, I don't see any reason for celebration in a mismatch. Three tests where the English lineup has yet to come within a bull's roar of facing a second new ball.. you don't have to look very far for the source of their problems.

But may I remind the English cricket lovers once again to watch Damien Martyn's batting closely, (not by way of I told you so, but more for their own enjoyment the way I used to like watching David Gower). One failure from a magnificent ball, one century, one 50 and a not out, and you haven't had the chance to see the best of him yet. This isn't mindless parochialism; he's from the opposite side of the country from me, but this guy is the class act of the Aussie batting lineup, and should be at number three for Australia now before he gets too old to make use of him. I believe only Tendulkar (Laxman???) rates ahead of him in the world at the moment... an absolute joy to watch.

Now, with Steve Waugh presumably out for the series, and with the series won, time for a little experiment?
Hayden, Slater, Martyn, M.Waugh, Ponting, Katich, Gilchrist (c)?......

Interesting times indeed........

The Devil's Apprentice
4th Aug 2001, 21:49
Watching VVS Laxman in the second test against the Aussies was enthralling stuff. He certainly showed Tendulkar up (no easy feat). If I can remember correctly I think he scored 258. England need to watch him carefully when they play India over the winter.

5th Aug 2001, 00:35
Well done Australia.

..... Now, if only the Yanks would admit to being beaten at the swimming championships.

Swamp Rat
5th Aug 2001, 12:23
Big Red 'L',

Do you want to go double or quits on a whitewash ? :D ;) :D

5th Aug 2001, 13:18
Big Red L

Look on the bright side, old chap. If England had won you'd be lumped with ten cases of Castle you wouldn't be able to drink due to health regulations. It'll give you a permanent orange afro and make you glow in the dark so best avoided at all costs.

Ten cases of Windhoek, on the other hand.......

5th Aug 2001, 14:34
Nothing beats a night out with a pommy mate(Classic Dick) and a few of his mates after an ashes series win. It starts out with the usual compliments about what a great team the ozzies are,tough titties about Steve Waugh,but what a great leader and "Does Shane Warne ever slow down?"...etc,.etc,. Then after a couple of pints - England has a very depleted side at the moment,not that it's an excuse! There were a couple of bad umpiring decisions went against us,not that it's an excuse! It's so boring watching any cricket match where one side is so dominant over the other. Anyone watch the darts the other night on BBC4?

Yeah, you better believe it boys and we're going to dominate the next two tests as well.
Pleasant night thanks Dick, but will have to call into Tescos this morning for a box of Panadol. I'm not too clever on the Boddingtons,especially after a case of Fosters!

Swampy - I wouldn't take that bet on the whitewash only because of the weather. Although I guess you could have two days washed out and it wouldn't make much difference under present circumstances.

Binoculars - you are not being pedantic,you are quite correct and that was pointed out to me a couple of times last night by my new found english mates. Your points regarding Damien Martyn are valid too. I know one thing for sure - Ricky Ponting is a fine batsman but he is NOT a number three. He doesn't play straight enough for that position,get him back down the order (5 or 6) and I'll bet "London to a Brick" he regains his form. Only thing I don't agree with are your sentiments regarding "celebration in a mismatch". Any victory Australia has over the Poms in any sporting event whether due to mismatch,poor weather,natural disaster etc,. is celebrated vigorously,passionately,unmercifully and at GREAT length.

[ 05 August 2001: Message edited by: Whiskery ]

5th Aug 2001, 23:34
Well, what can i say...!! :rolleyes:
Congrats to the Ozzies for retaining the ashes. Well done to them. They are in Brighton this week playing Sussex so i might go to the Grand where they are staying and try and catch one or two of them in the bar and tell them to 'throw' the next test. ;)

Swampy, you throw me a lifeline and i have to take it. I am praying hard for the rain to come now.. :D Here's hoping......

New Bloke
6th Aug 2001, 02:05
Yeah I hate to say it but well done the Ausies.

I think England were a bit lucky to come second in the last 3 tests :D

17th Aug 2001, 04:22
Nasser Hussain stated on the eve of this fourth test that if enough pressure was put on the Aussies,they would crack.

The problem is,no one told Nasser that the Aussies eat pressure for breakfast!

Why is it that Phil Tufnel has not been recalled into the England side? He is a bowler that would exert pressure on the Australian batsmen through his accurate and, sometimes creative, bowling. OK, so he is a "non-conformist" when it comes to the establishment but look at the past champions in the same mould. Ian Botham, Mike Gatting,Ian Chappel and Shane Warne. I remember a couple of matches that Botham won single handed for England.

Well done Ricky Ponting on the 144 and thank God for third umpires. We would have never have heard the end of it if the field umpire had let that one go! Good luck to Simon Katich on debut today.

17th Aug 2001, 04:53
We really do suck at Cricket, in fact we suck at most sports we created.

compressor stall
17th Aug 2001, 05:04

Do you remember that One day final (?) in Melbourne in the early 90's featuring Phil Tufnell's wonderful :eek: fielding skills performed in front of 75 000 people. A wonderful display :D :D

17th Aug 2001, 11:49
Oh, [email protected] It's getting embarrasing now.

Channel 4 had a list of the biggest winners and biggest losers in test cricket. No. 1 winner, Steve Waugh. Rest of the top 10 were from Down under or the Windies. No. 1 loser, Alec Stewart. Followed closely by the usual suspects (Atherton, Gooch, Gatting, Gower...) :(

Border did make it into both lists, though.

Don D Cake
17th Aug 2001, 17:48
Go to http://www.cricket4.com/ and at the bottom of the page you can download your own desktop Richie Benaud to keep you up to date with the demise of England.

Can you change your nationality by deed poll? We're crap at everthing now.

Made Guy
17th Aug 2001, 20:17
Remeber when we could beat them?

Cheer youself up visit : http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport/hi/english/cricket/the_ashes/newsid_1493000/1493320.stm

Beefy is God!

18th Aug 2001, 00:04
It's not fair. We even thought up the idea of having an overweight, beered-up chainsmoking spinner in the squad, but Tuffer's lost the plot, while old Shane....

Ireland's Call
18th Aug 2001, 12:52
Don't worry England, we'll take revenge for you when Ireland beat the Aussies in the compromised football test series in Australia later in the autumn.

They beat us in Ireland last year, but we beat them in Austalia two years ago to win the Coca Cola series, which they did not like one little bit! That included a game played in front of a record attendance in the MCG.

Anyone outside these two countries should try and watch a game if you can, it's fast, skillful and incredibly brutal! With fights breaking out all the time. When this series first came about in the '80's, there was basically no football played as the two sides just punched the **** out of each other from whistle to whistle, even the coaches were involved! We still remember "the dipper" in these parts!!

Australians are winning everything at the moment, but not this time, you're going down boys! :p

18th Aug 2001, 20:37
"there was basically no football played as the two sides just punched the **** out of each other from whistle to whistle"

Maybe that's a way we can avoid going down 5-0.... :(

20th Aug 2001, 02:40
Gutsy declaration by Adam Gilchrist should make for a great final day.
Well done England for getting past three days and well done Ricky Ponting for finally regaining some form.

Stallie - I missed that game, but always have had a lot of respect for Tufnell. He is a very tough competitor and never says die.

Ireland's Call - do you believe in Leprechauns too ?

20th Aug 2001, 04:50
Hey Big Red 'L',

Not posting so much anymore?

What does Gough put in his hand to take a wicket?

His bat!

Sorry to see you guys go down so hard. If you wait long enough your time will come again. :cool:

compressor stall
20th Aug 2001, 09:16
Friggin rain.
Had a 6 hour single pilot night flight to do last (aussie) night - was was so looking forward to having the Cricket tuned on the ADF to keep me awake. Can't we just play all the Ashes series over here? :p

20th Aug 2001, 14:23
Congrats Stallie - you made the ton !!!!

Incipient Sinner
20th Aug 2001, 18:25
Ooooooh, not shouting so loud now are they.

While England may still snatch defeat from the jaws of victoryit has to be fair to say that the worm is DEFINITELY turning.

211 for 2 chasing 315, go on boys.

214 now.

20th Aug 2001, 18:54
Here we are at tea on the fifth day, and all I can say is Go the Poms! What a great effort, no matter what the final result. Take no notice of the inevitable aussie whingers who wil bitch about the weather causing the declaration etc, this has been a great effort by England, and Mark Butcher will never play a better innings.

I hope you make it, guys, the game will be better for it, and whatever happens, this has shown up the pyjama game for the moneymaking farce it is.

20th Aug 2001, 19:09
Odd as it seems, I was kind of hoping for another thumping. We've already lost the ashes so I figure that going down 5-0 might help the old [email protected] who run British cricket realize that they NEED TO DO SOMETHING. We're a bloody shambles. If we win something then they'll just think it's not so bad. It is, chaps, it is....

Besides, if it hadn't rained you'd have set us 500 to win. :eek:

20th Aug 2001, 21:39
Bloomin' 'eck... :) :) :) :)

20th Aug 2001, 22:13
We bloody won. Fantastic innings by Butcher. They should make him Prime Minister and Knight him. fantastic effort. Well done the Aussies for the sporting decleration :) :) :) :) :)

20th Aug 2001, 23:36
My goodness we won!

I'd just like to thank Mike Atherton for another wonderful fighting innings.

Congratulations so Mark Butcher, your innings was superb! Nasser Hussain, well done for loosing the new ball, after that it was all easy :D

21st Aug 2001, 01:05
Hmmmmm - we managed (with a little help from our former colonial cousins, who must have felt sorry for us) to avoid being defeated by a total whitewash... :rolleyes:

21st Aug 2001, 01:51
Well done lads....especially Mark Butcher, the innings of a lifetime....the Headingley pitch does it again, beginning to be a real jinx for the Aussies. Look to the start of this thread and you will see I predicted 3-2 to Aussie.....should have had a bet on, we usually win at The Oval too....... :eek: :p :D

21st Aug 2001, 03:15
guyincognito. I have been busy working and playing recently. What is the point of your post excactly..? :confused: I was at work today. I had to go in just after Hussain went out so i missed the last bit of the match. Just got in though and i am mighty releived..!!!!!!
Swampy...What can i say...Thanks for giving me the chance to do double-or-quits mate. Very sporting. What i was going to do if England won the ashes was make you send a cheque to the childrens hospital where my daughter was for a while after she was born last year for the amount of the ten cases.
Good bet though. Made things a touch interesting didn't it.!!!
P.S. It wasn't me doing that rain dance outside the ground a few days ago... :)Cheers mate, if your ever over here, get in touch for a well deserved drink.. :D

21st Aug 2001, 03:35
Huggy, old chap, by all means berate yourselves when necessary, but rejoice in triumph, for that is surely what this was. One of the great Test innings, MB has his place in cricketing history. Stand tall England!

Wedge, old bean, umm, care for a small wager? :D :D

21st Aug 2001, 06:57
Well done England ! Butcher in name and deed. You slaughtered our bowling attack.
Congrats to Nassar Hussain too, looks like the aussies didn't eat breakfast that morning!

Looking forward to the final match at the Oval. There will be no "gutsy" declarations in that game I'll bet.

Thanks also to my English mates whom felt it prudent to ring me in the middle of the night to give me the result. I went to bed early thinking that 2 for 69 would have sealed the match.....oh well. :rolleyes:

21st Aug 2001, 11:28
Struth, did the poms really rise up out of the ashes?
Definately a gutsy effort from Butcher.

21st Aug 2001, 11:32
Shame we waited until it was all over before coming to the series, but that was a fine knock. Nice bit of sportsmanship by the chaps from Down Under too :)

Now if only they could all be like that... :) :)

Biggles Flies Undone
21st Aug 2001, 15:07
What an excellent match! Agreed we got a bit of help from the weather but we still had to get more than 300 runs in the last innings of a test match – how often does that happen? (especially against the best side in the world).

There will always be a bit of needle in Ashes matches, but this series has been played in exactly the right spirit. It was great to see many of the Australian players congratulate Mark Butcher when he got his century and every one of them shook his hand when he left the pitch at the end. When I cast my mind back to the atrocious behaviour of the Sri Lankan and Pakistani sides, I’m almost (ALMOST!) tempted to say that I’d rather see us getting beaten by the Aussies than having to sweat it out with a bunch of cheats...

Oh yes.... I notice that nobody took me up on the offer of a bet on the outcome of the next soccer match between England and Australia :D

Swamp Rat
21st Aug 2001, 17:36
Big Red 'L',

Well what can I say other than well played Mark Butcher and England.
Gilly did at least make a game of it, I too found the bet made it fun to see what was happening and will give you a shout if I ever get to that side of the world for that beer, the same applies if you are ever this side, we can talk cricket, flying or just drink loads of beer :D

Thanks Big Red, it was a laugh, keep in touch

21st Aug 2001, 18:18
Thats the first brit i've seen who wants us to lose!!!

Blame it on the weather if we win, blame it on the weather if we lose, blame it on the weather if it was a draw.

Sounds like a good philosophy to me!

The Mistress
22nd Aug 2001, 18:50
Some of you sporty types might like to see this:
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