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Boy_From_Brazil
5th Apr 2004, 17:40
I read in a magazine over the weekend that a expert in Arabic literature believes that the Koran was mis-translated. Islamic militants who die will not get 72 virgins waiting for them in heaven, they will get 72 raisins.

Hopefully this will put a serious doubt in the mind of some of the potential suicide bombers.

BFB

Anthony Carn
5th Apr 2004, 17:50
This may not apply in the Sultanate of Oman.

tony draper
5th Apr 2004, 17:54
Good grief Mr Carn that has to be your best/worst one yet.
:uhoh: :rolleyes:

Rusty A300
5th Apr 2004, 18:18
I can see how they got it confused...? :confused:

ORAC
5th Apr 2004, 18:23
Would that make them Ppruners? :ooh:

Nani
5th Apr 2004, 18:23
That reminds me of this joke.

After his death, Osama bin Laden went to paradise.

He was greeted by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled angrily, “How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!” Then Patrick Henry punched Osama in the nose and James Madison kicked him in the groin. Bin Laden was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, Thomas Jefferson and 66 other early Americans.

As he writhed in pain on the ground, an angel appeared. Bin Laden groaned, “This is not what I was promised!”

The angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you! What did you think I said?”

Bern Oulli
5th Apr 2004, 18:57
Mr C. Rather than raisins it would be sultanas then?

OK ok. I just went.

Bre901
5th Apr 2004, 19:19
Grapes of wrath, that's what makes them so angry and nasty.

I'll get my coat

sprocket
5th Apr 2004, 19:37
Braisin Shiite stirrers!

flapsforty
5th Apr 2004, 19:38
Little separation between blasphemy and humour.
Don't get on the wrong side of the divide here.

Caslance
5th Apr 2004, 20:06
Does Allah have a sense of humour? Well, you lot had better hope so.............. :ooh:

Keef
6th Apr 2004, 00:02
The answer's yes!

Sadly, there are those who take it all far too seriously and therefore get very upset when the jokes are told.

You have to read the small print on the definition of the greater and the lesser jihad.

The problem is with folks who go after the lesser jihad in a big way, without first dealing with the greater. No 72 virgins for them - not even 72 raisins.

BlueDiamond
6th Apr 2004, 00:38
Raisin' false hopes you might say.

:{

imagedude
6th Apr 2004, 00:46
He can't have a sense of humour because he does not exist. He is a character in a form of mythology written by an unemployed pirate named Mohammed who thought it would be a good idea to add a few new characters (to appeal to an Arab audience) to a religious book he bought at the local souk. Hey presto, instant fame and fortune.

Chaffers
6th Apr 2004, 03:23
Well if God is greater than everything else then he must have a greater sense of humour than anything else. Handing some prat who's just blown himself up in the hope of getting laid some dried fruit would certainly qualify.

A vine joke all round.

Jerricho
6th Apr 2004, 04:51
Did Cavemen believe in God? Or eat raisins? Or sultanas?

Anthony Carn
6th Apr 2004, 06:28
I'm not entirely convinced that losing a load of cherries and gaining an equal load of raisins is going to dissuade the suicide element -- they're as nutty as fruitcakes anyway.

In fact, this new revelation could, inadvertently, become their entire raison d'etre.

eal401
6th Apr 2004, 07:37
He is a character in a form of mythology written by an unemployed pirate named Mohammed

Wasn't he the same guy who wrote the Bible? Under several pseudonyms, John, Peter, etc, etc......

:p

BillHicksRules
6th Apr 2004, 10:21
Imagedude,

“He can't have a sense of humour because he does not exist. He is a character in a form of mythology written by an unemployed pirate named Mohammed who thought it would be a good idea to add a few new characters (to appeal to an Arab audience) to a religious book he bought at the local souk. Hey presto, instant fame and fortune.”

As opposed to the God of Christianity (or Judaism ) who is of course real????

Cheers

BHR

419
6th Apr 2004, 10:59
If you couldn't have a pint or a bacon buttie, you wouldn't have a sense of humour either!

419

surely not
6th Apr 2004, 11:14
excellent post 419........................ we can defeat the oppo by setting up bacon butty vans at key points in their Cities. They'd be defecting in their thousands within minutes of the smell hitting them

airshowpilot
6th Apr 2004, 11:52
72 raisins...is that currant thinking?:)

Huck
6th Apr 2004, 13:04
I've posted this before, but from Dennis Miller:

"72 virgins? Trust me, after about ten, you're going to start craving an expert...."

autosync
13th Apr 2004, 02:27
Funniest thread I have seen in years!!:} :} :}

Blacksheep
13th Apr 2004, 04:52
Does Allah have a sense of humour? Of course It does, It gave us sexual reproduction didn't It?

SLFguy
14th Apr 2004, 12:38
Knowing my luck it would be one 72 year old virgin *sigh*

Biggles Flies Undone
14th Apr 2004, 13:21
Well, if you 'ain't raisin' when the Sultana wants it, Allah your dreams will end in tears....

Rich Lee
14th Apr 2004, 17:34
Infidele defilers. You should all drown in lakes of blood. Now you will know why you are afraid of the dark. Now you will learn why you fear the night.

(With Thanks to Thulsa Doom)

answer=42
14th Apr 2004, 23:30
I would like to point out that Christians who speak Arabic, Bahasa Indonesia and presumably some other languages refer to their deity as 'Allah'. Not a Moslem whateveritis at all.

OneWorld22
15th Apr 2004, 00:36
Knowing my luck it would be one 72 year old virgin *sigh*

Nice one SLFguy!! :D :D

Paterbrat
15th Apr 2004, 12:30
The sigh was probably for the fact that up there 'virginity' is never lost and immediately renewable. Now that would be a sad joke, and incidentaly, heavy duty for one 72 old.