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View Full Version : Well I'll be hornswoggled --- who'd have thought it --- I'm shocked!


Wholigan
30th Jun 2001, 11:24
Quote from the Daily Mail, Wednesday.

A red-haired lady was arrested in Sainsbury's in Luton yesterday for cavorting around the freezer aisles wearing nothing but white sports socks and a paper bag over her head. The lady was prancing about and singing "I'm a drunken pruner, who can't get on to chat". When arrested by 3 policemen (it apparently took 3 so that they could each use a hat to cover an area of the lady's body) she said, "it was a bet with my mates on prune". Further investigation by this reporter has revealed that what she was actually referring to was 'PPRuNe', a web-site for aviation enthusiasts. The lady - who cannot be named for legal reasons, pending a charge for indecent exposure - was kept in the Luton police station overnight and through the next day. She was released on bail in the evening and immediately ran into the Internet café adjacent to the police station shouting "lend me some money, I have to get on chat. I've been off it too long!". After an argument with the proprietor, she persuaded him to take her home where she immediately ran upstairs, strewing cats and dogs aside, and was heard to breathe an enormous sigh of relief a few minutes later. This reporter was lucky enough to witness the incidents after release up to the return to the house at first hand, but is at a total loss over what actually gave such immediate relief!

Winston Smith
30th Jun 2001, 12:48
Thanks, Wholi!

Now I perfectly understand Vel's reluctance to explain what all that Sainsbury talk was about... :)

OzExpat
30th Jun 2001, 16:46
So... all because I don't get the Daily Mail and don't go into Chat (unless I'm in Oz at the time), I miss all the really good things that happen.

Geez... the story of me life! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif :)

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Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!

Nil nos tremefacit
30th Jun 2001, 17:55
I wouldn't be seen dead in Luton, let alone naked (even with a paper bag over my head). Is there a link to this story anywhere?

GeneralAviation
30th Jun 2001, 19:19
As usual, an over-enthusiastic reporter gets his facts wrong. I know for a fact that the lady in question was not entirely naked, she definitely had on black silk top and knickers.

Now, if I say anymore I could well be charged with aiding and abetting with said exposure. Suffice to say the policemen thoroughly enjoyed the car journey to the nick - where said lady regaled them with stories of her 'friends in proon' - especially a certain retired RAF gentleman and his proclivity for bathing with ladies (yes plural), candles and brandy.

What my sources inside the Police reveal, is that they couldn't understand why she kept muttering 'It's all the fault of that bloody £6', so they are working on the assumption that the bet was for six quid.

An on site investigation may be carried out to discover some character witnesses ;)

[This message has been edited by GeneralAviation (edited 30 June 2001).]

GoGirl
30th Jun 2001, 19:29
Pick Me Pick Me!!! I'll give her the BEST character reference ever ;)

Bwahahahahaha :) :) :)


GG

ps...wholi, that's the best laff I've had in soooooo long ROFLMAO!!!!

VFE
30th Jun 2001, 19:33
Is the supermarket going to release the security film? :) :)

It's the cats and dogs I feel most sorry for! ;)

Hugs Vel, hon.

Wholigan
30th Jun 2001, 23:23
Nil Nos,

Yes there is a link to the article. It's at:

www.gulliblegits.com (http://www.gulliblegits.com)

:) :) :)

monkey boy
30th Jun 2001, 23:53
Wholi.

Having read the daily mail on the rare occasions that I've got a hangover of such epic proportions that I forget my principles I must tell you that I immediately spotted it as a hoax, as there was no reference to the Tory party, Enoch Powell or Alf Garnett, and the great ideals that they uphold / held.

Nor was it recommended that she be shot at dawn.

Velvet
1st Jul 2001, 00:42
Are you sure it's a wind up

Ssssshhhhhh............ ;)


However, I can say that I shall be shopping at Tesco's in future...........

Sick Squid
1st Jul 2001, 03:45
Velvet, you just go sky-clad if you want to. Nil illegitimi carborundum!

I've no idea how this particular story broke..... but I've seen the prints, and they are soon to be available as a range of place mats for £5.99 a set! You can tell it was cold in that aisle....

£6 ;)

(Big hug, V!)

OzPax1
1st Jul 2001, 03:58
£6, I'll buy one of those place mats, as long as the proceeds goes into the PPRuNe Fund!! :) :)

OzPax1 http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/cool.gif

[This message has been edited by OzPax1 (edited 01 July 2001).]

Wholigan
1st Jul 2001, 04:21
£6,

I'd like a dozen place mats please. Understand the 3D versions have a couple of bumps on them. Are these bumps sleeping policemen and, if so, are they from Luton?

Blacksheep
1st Jul 2001, 07:47
I'm baffled. Things like that happen all the time in Luton so why'd she have a bag on her head? Is she ugly?

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Aviation - making the world a flatter place

Capt Vegemite
1st Jul 2001, 08:21
Wholigan,that f$%^&*@#$%!!! link doesnt work!

OzExpat
1st Jul 2001, 11:26
Six Quid... I'll buy one of them 3-D versions too! :)

Why doesn't this bloodey machine have a "£" sign on the farkin keyboard...

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Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!