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topcat450
5th Apr 2004, 08:11
I can't claim credit for this one, was sent to me courtesy of ABTN Newsletter, not sure of the author, thought some of you might appreciate it:

The Life of a Co-pilot

I am the co-pilot. I sit on the right.
It is up to me to be quick and bright.

I never talk back for I have regrets,
but I have to remember what the caption forgets.

I make out the flight plan and study the weather, pull up the gear, stand by to feather.

Make out the mail forms and do the reporting, and fly the old crate while the captain is courting.

I take the readings, adjust the power, put on the heaters when we’re in a shower.

Tell him where we are on the darkest night, and do all the bookwork without any light.

I call for my captain and buy him cokes; I always laugh at his corny jokes.

And once in a while when his landings are rusty I always come through with “by gosh it is gusty”.

All in all I’m a general stooge, as I sit on the right of the man I
call “scrooge”.

I guess you think that is past understanding, but maybe some day he will give me a landing!

Never to blurt out with those famous (aviation) words. I HAVE COMMAND!

Fubaar
5th Apr 2004, 10:09
Oscar Brand first sang it, 1950-something. (And a bit more). I think a Google search for "Oscar Brand" will uncover the whole song/poem.

Whiskey Kilo Wanderer
5th Apr 2004, 14:26
This one is from the same school. I've sometimes printed them out together under the title of 'CRM from a different era'. The by-line I saw as Keith Murray, Colonial Airlines 1940.


The Captains Tale

I am the Captain, I sit on the left,
I'm very skilful and terribly deft.

I suffer in silence while Joe on my right,
Makes all his circuits a little too tight.

I never go crook when he drops too much flap;
I like his sweet smile when he says "Sorry, Cap!"

Then bashes the trim with a twist and a twirl,
As he raves of the virtues and curves of his girl.

I select cruising power and call for coarse pitch,
Joe grabs the mixture and slams it to RICH.

When its time to change tanks Joe turns the wrong tap,
When I call for gear up he drops ten degrees flap.

He's late for take-off first flight each morning.
I do the run-up while he does the yawning.

He's never quite sure of his way points or courses,
I fake the log while he swots the horses.

When I give him a landing he gives me the pip,
As tower calls up and says "Stay on the strip!"
.
"Ignorant type", says Joe on my right;
Then dates up the hostess for Saturday night.

When the ceiling's right down and I fly on gauges,
Joe says a prayer and chants Rock of Ages.

I envy the guy who said God was his Co,
Oh, what I'd give to swap him for Joe!