View Full Version : Irish Airline Pilots...

Simon W
29th Jun 2001, 18:48
Irish Air Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one
night,with Paddy, the pilot, and Shamus the co-pilot.

As they approached Dublin airport, they looked out the front window.

"B'jeesus" said Paddy "Will ye look at how fookin short dat runway is".

"You're not fookin kiddin, Paddy" replied Shamus.

"Dis is gonna be one a'de trickiest landings you're ever gonna see" said

"You're not fookin kiddin, Paddy" replied Shamus.

"Right Shamus. When I give de signal, you put de engines in reverse" said

"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Shamus. "And den ye put de flaps down
straight away" said Paddy "Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Shamus.
"And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can" said Paddy
"Right, I'll be doing dat" replied Shamus. "And den ye pray to de "Mother
Mary with all a' your soul" said Paddy
"I be doing dat already" replied Shamus.

So they approached the runway with Paddy and Shamus full of nerves and
sweaty palms.
As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put the engines in reverse,
put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to Mother Mary with all
of his soul.

Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tyres and lots of smoke, the plane
screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the runway, much to the
relief of Paddy and Shamus and everyone on board.
As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the
front window and said to Shamus "Dat has gotta be de shortest fookin runway
I have EVER seen in me whole
Shamus looked out the side window and replied: "Yeah Paddy, but look how
fookin wide it is".

1st Jul 2001, 02:25
Simon, did you hear the one about the thick Englishman who made a fool of himself by trotting out the oldest of old Irish pilots joke.
Good grief 'dat' one is soo old both Paddy and Shamus retired ten years ago and are now working for a railway company writing timetables.

What a larf!

1st Jul 2001, 05:36
Can someone please give Hamrah a tissue? :)

Celtic Emerald
1st Jul 2001, 23:39
Pooooorrrr Hamrah

Leave Hamrah alone!!!! ;)

How does a pilot know that an ATCO is a northsider when coming into Dublin

Cause the first thing he'll hear is "How are ya" http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

Emerald http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

2nd Jul 2001, 01:33
That's 'Howa yah' Emerald, typical southsider getting it wrong.

Celtic Emerald
2nd Jul 2001, 09:10

That's how one says it with a refined accent :)

(Wanders off with her nose stuck up in the air)

Emerald http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

2nd Jul 2001, 12:16
Real Northsiders would never say 'how're yeh' it'd be 'Allrihe boss, storeee!' ;)

3rd Jul 2001, 01:29
Well, I'll say this about Paddyman jokes:
The English make 'em so simple so they could understand them! :P

3rd Jul 2001, 02:48
An Irishman goes for a job on a building site. In the interview for the job, the foreman says to him:-

"Okay, Paddy. You want a job here? Tell me the difference between a girder and a joist."

"Dat's an easy one, so it is. Goethe wrote 'Faust' and Joyce wrote 'Ulysses'".

Celtic Emerald
3rd Jul 2001, 03:10
Oh Gawd http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

There goes a good friendship up in smoke. Kopbhoy I meant all nothsiders except you pet http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/redface.gif

P.S. Was out near your place today watching all those delicious planes coming in to land

Looks like I've gone & put me foot in it again http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif


[This message has been edited by Celtic Emerald (edited 02 July 2001).]

3rd Jul 2001, 11:51
No worries CE - after all I do come from County Dublin & not the inner city ;) :)

If the NIMBY's out here have their way there'll be no delicious a/c to watch http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif

10L/28R - you know it makes sense Rodders ;)

3rd Jul 2001, 17:15
So you're not a howaya Emerald? I am real mongrel born of culchie parents between the canals, mark of a true Dub, on the northside but lived on the southside all my life. Sound posh to Northsiders and English? to culchies and Americans.
I used to get beaten up a lot by everyone.