View Full Version : Lightening a heavy day

1st Apr 2004, 13:18
Came up with a new form of entertainment this lunchtime - a new list. This time, it's of people that you'd like to go up to and give them a few slaps to the face - you know, back-forth-back-forth, as in slapstick comedy (think Basil Fawlty and Manuel). I cheered up no end once I'd thought of comitting said act to:

Janet Street-Porter

The PM

My sister-in-law

The head of our HR department

Any other suggestions?

The Invisible Cat
1st Apr 2004, 13:32
The head of our HR department
This one doesn't count as ALL heads of ALL HR departments belong there :}

1st Apr 2004, 13:46
The two ignorant English b'stards(Mr & Mrs), who rather than ask me to move outside the pie shop at lunch time, each gave me a dig in the back at lunch time.

Sir Trevor McDonald

The Deputy PM

Arsen Wenger

a is dum
1st Apr 2004, 13:56
Maybe check here first?

previous thread (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=121283)

1st Apr 2004, 14:03
Judy Swallow (BBC World Service)

Bill Clinton

Hillary Clinton

Larry King

1st Apr 2004, 14:09
Point taken, a is dum , but I think this is a less dignified retribution than the straightforward jab to the hooter - this is more about "you're on the wrong planet, you numbskull, wake up to yourself".:D

a is dum
1st Apr 2004, 14:12
""Arsen Wenger"" ??

Someone with the name Arsen should be kicked, not slapped.

1st Apr 2004, 14:20

My ex-husband

........for having to remind him that as he doesn't contribute anything financially to the upbringing of our son, that the least he can do is give him pocket money instead of buying him fishing tackle! :rolleyes: :mad: :mad:

Aileron Roll
1st Apr 2004, 14:45
Paul Holmes
Winston PETERS

1st Apr 2004, 14:55
To lighten one heavy day:
Take as many bottles of Helium you can and release said gas into your cellar. That should lift things a bit :E

......seriously though!

ALL our HR dept. (not just the head of it)
my ex-boss
my (hopefully) soon to be ex BIL for ceating on my sis. ('cept he's in the Royal Marines now :(

UK PM; Dep PM; Anne Widecombe

....Mmm thks Ms SP fell better now that load's off the shoulders! ;)

1st Apr 2004, 15:07
Whiever :mad: :mad: :mad: Beurocrat who changed the exam syllabus to make me redo some C-work 3 times!
Clare Short
Ant and Dek

Sally Cinnamon
1st Apr 2004, 15:57
Graham Norton

Janine Butcher

Jamie Oliver

1st Apr 2004, 16:06
All highly slappable and in no particular order of preference:

Bill Gates
Gerard Houllier
Any & all of the Teletubbies
Ditto Westlife
Ditto Boyzone esp.that **** Keating
Dean Gaffney
Simon Cowell
Both of the Beckhams
Frank Spencer
The Bee Gees
Barney (and his overacting fcuking friends)
Graham Norton
Penelope Pitstop - hay-yelp! SLAP

I could go on...


1st Apr 2004, 16:46
Portsmouth football club (all of 'em)
Roy Keane (then run away very quickly:p )

The Nr Fairy
1st Apr 2004, 16:46
Pre-sales managers who, three weeks after they've said they'd arrange a third stage phone interview, haven't.

Employment agency managers you ring up and leave a message for asking for a call back about a job you know DAMN well you can do, and don't hear back.

In fact, pretty much ANYONE who I've left a message for today and hasn't f***ing rung me back, when I'm making a BIT of an effort to find a frigging job.

Well, I don't feel better, but at least it's out in the open.

2nd Apr 2004, 18:03
Ah, Nr Fairy, how times have changed. Back in 1999, I registered with a couple of recruitment agencies. Every so often someone would call, "Would you be interested in a Project Manager Position?"
"Er, have you actually read my CV?" I would say.
"Yeah, it's here in front of me."
"I've only got 6 months experience in IT, how on earth could I be a Project Manager?" Secretly I'd be wondering if I could blag it all the way to the end of the contract.
"Hmm. How about I tell you some more about it and see if you're still not interested?"
*sigh* There again, these were the heady days of the Great Year 2000 Swindle - trained monkeys could pull in the cash...

3rd Apr 2004, 03:35
Anthea Turner, just a light hearted comedy slap - followed by some effective throttling.

3rd Apr 2004, 06:34
John Prescot and Blair - Heads together until they were so much watermelon pulp
Geoff Hoon
Roy Keane
Alex Ferguson
Fiona Phillips
The person who gave me this cold
Any Oxfordshire County Councillor