View Full Version : April Fools anybody?

1st Apr 2004, 11:29
From the Virgin Atlantic website...



Virgin Atlantic is delighted to announce that it plans to introduce Inflight Hypnotherapists to its flights. Inflight Hypnotherapists (IFHTs) will be available onboard every flight and will be able to offer a range of different hypnotic services from making passengers believe the flight lasts only a few minutes to making passengers believe they are sitting next to their favourite celebrity.

Richard Branson, Chairman of Virgin Atlantic commented:

“Virgin Atlantic always aims to be ahead of the game when it comes to creative thinking and innovation – from pioneering Inflight Beauty Therapists to the introduction of Inflight Meditation. We believe that passengers will be entranced with this new service. Our IFHTs are fully trained hypnotists able to offer a wide range of hypnotic therapies from making them believe they have been upgraded to thinking the person sitting next to them is their favourite celebrity.

“We are delighted to say that we have the support of the world’s best known Hypnotist – Paul McKenna. Paul has been instrumental in the recruitment and selection of our IFHTs over the last few months and we are confident that we have an exceptional team of mesmerists ready to start swinging their pendulums.”

Paul McKenna, the world’s best-known Hypnotist, commented:

“I am delighted to have been involved in this project. Virgin Atlantic is always at the cutting edge of air travel and with this new service it can offer passengers the most exciting opportunities for personal enhancement. I am sure that this will be a positive experience for every passenger that takes part.”

Hypnosis to be offered by the Virgin Atlantic IFHTs include:

Time flies - The IFHTs will hypnotise passengers to make them feel as if they are travelling at supersonic speed. Passengers can feel the thrill of breaking through the sound barrier and sit back and enjoy the inflight entertainment as their journey passes in less than half the time!

Sit next to a star - This hypnotic treatment enables passengers to believe that they are seated next to their favourite celebrity for the duration of their flight. They can pass the time swapping recipes with Nigella Lawson, gazing adoringly at Brad Pitt or being serenaded by Tom Jones – the choice is down to them.

Feel the Upgrade - This hypnosis takes part at the gate in the departure area to make passengers believe that they are going to be travelling in Upper Class. Passengers can spend the flight imagining that they are enjoying the Freedom menu, sitting at the onboard bar, enjoying a massage from the Inflight Beauty Therapist (IFBT) or sleeping through the flight in the Snooze Zone. For a supplement passengers can extend their hypnosis to believe they are picked up in a limo at the end of their journey!

For further information please contact the Virgin Atlantic Press Office on 01293 747 373 or log onto www.virgin.com/atlantic


a is dum
1st Apr 2004, 11:42
""....ready to start swinging their pendulums.”

Will that be codesharing with Hooters Air then? :oh:

Send Clowns
1st Apr 2004, 12:10
Bet the "new Archers theme tune" on Today this morning got a few indignant phone calls to the beeb :p

1st Apr 2004, 12:16
SC, The Independant (http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/media/story.jsp?story=507170) also has the change of theme tune.

1st Apr 2004, 12:31
David Blunkett:"Beverley Hughes will not be resigning".

Bye Bev.

Mr Chips
1st Apr 2004, 13:36
Heart106 (London radio station) had a news story all morning that UEFA were insisting that in all international soccer fixtures in future each team must field at least one female player

"It will be good for female soccer and male soccer. More changing rooms will be needed"

Don't seem to have mentioned it since the 12:00 news!!!!


1st Apr 2004, 14:28
Bobby was in a car crash when he was 4 years old. As a result of his injury he was blind. All of the doctors tests and operations could not restore Bobbys' sight.
One evening when he was heading up to bed his mother said to him. "Bobby do you know what night this is?". "No mommy what night is it?" Said Bobby as he felt along the wall to his bed room. "This is wish night, and if a child wishes real hard on this night it will come true" Really???!!!!" said Bobby. "Could I see again???!!!!" "Yes." Said his mother as she tucked him into the bed. "But only if you wish very hard. Little
Bobby sat in his bed wishing. He wished as hard as he could. He held his breath so he could put the energy for breathing in to wishing. His little body rocked back and forth his finger nails cut into the palms of his hands as he gripped them into fists. Just before 4 am the little boy fell asleep exhausted. When his mother woke him up the next day Bobby said.

"Mommy... Mommy... I still can't see!"

"I know", said his mother...

"April fool"!!!

1st Apr 2004, 14:54
Re : energiser's post ..... look into my eyes, look into my eyes

Only Little Britain fans will understand !

1st Apr 2004, 15:29
Cheerio - that has to be one of the best I've heard for a long time! :ok:

HomerJ :yuk:

1st Apr 2004, 15:33
Oh Homer Jay

That is the sickest thing I've read this year........I am having an asthma attack from laughing...thank you so much!!

a is dum
1st Apr 2004, 15:36
HomerJ: :yuk: :yuk:

2nd Apr 2004, 16:18
I thought the Brian Eno/Archers wind-up was a classic - very well done too, right down to the 'rent-an-opinion' soundbites so popular at the moment...


'One....two....three...you're back in the room' ;)