View Full Version : Everyone line up in a circle

27th Jun 2001, 05:01
and back-up ahead.

27th Jun 2001, 06:45
Are we due for vacation, or have we been elected to public office?

Kermit 180
27th Jun 2001, 08:15
Shut up and tell me how.

[This message has been edited by Kermit 180 (edited 27 June 2001).]

27th Jun 2001, 09:17
...but don't drop the soap...

Through difficulties to the cinema

27th Jun 2001, 12:32
Who just pinched my bum??

Someone turn on the lights, and for god sake put your clothes on !!

27th Jun 2001, 18:14
Early in the morning in the middle of the night
Two dead men woke up to fight
Back to back, they faced one another
Drew their swords & shot each other.

27th Jun 2001, 19:23
The elephant is a bonny bird
It flits from bough to bough.
It makes its nest in a rhubarb tree
And whistles like a cow.

Hersham Boy
28th Jun 2001, 16:46
"Are you asleep?"

28th Jun 2001, 16:53
"Now that we have the papacy let us enjoy it!"

Unknown Pontiff/MP/President/Eurocrat...etc...etc :rolleyes:

Live long and Prosper.....

Mad Pax
29th Jun 2001, 01:25
Where did you lose it?

29th Jun 2001, 01:53
"What time does News At Ten start?"

Hagbard the Amateur
29th Jun 2001, 02:00
Forwards in all directions!

All Hail Discordia

29th Jun 2001, 23:42
If you fall out of that tree and break your legs dont come running to me

Look at the dirt behind your ears

Do you want a good hiding?

courtesy of Billy Connelly

tony draper
30th Jun 2001, 00:10
Silence when you speak to an officer.
Spike Milligan

30th Jun 2001, 10:11
does a one-legged duck swim in circles..?

does a bear poop in the woods..?

is a fishes bum watertight..?

by the way, what time does the 4:30 bus leave..? :)

[This message has been edited by hellfish (edited 30 June 2001).]

Mad Pax
30th Jun 2001, 18:56
The POW camp was full of officers who had sworn to die rather than be captured.

Spike again

1st Jul 2001, 08:51
The sexual life of the camel,
Is stranger than anyone thinks,
At the height of the mating season,
He attempts to bugger the Sphinx,
But the Sphinx's anal orifice,
Is filled with the sands of the Nile,
Which accounts for the hump on the camel,
And the Sphinx's inscrutable smile.

"We're going to a dance; send three and fourpence!"

1st Jul 2001, 08:56
Why did I post that?

DX Wombat
1st Jul 2001, 19:35
Either you had nothing better to do, or, you were trying to find a good excuse for not doing the washing up :)

1st Jul 2001, 20:00
"XYZ do you read this transmission?"

"XYZ negative!"

[This message has been edited by Slasher (edited 01 July 2001).]

monkey boy
1st Jul 2001, 20:08
This'll be the last place they'll look

2nd Jul 2001, 18:20
"Shoot low boys, they're riding shetland ponies."

Lewis Grizzard

2nd Jul 2001, 18:43
"We come in peace (shoot to kill)"

T. Cook

pax domina
3rd Jul 2001, 18:28
Heard on some station out of Brisbane (yes, via the internet) last night (well, it was some night this week, there) from some bloke on a chat show going on and on about the difference between merely being a silly country and being a stupid country . . .

". . . fighting foreign wars overseas . . ."


pax d - narcissistic, short-sighted, ill-bred moron

3rd Jul 2001, 21:13
Observed recently, stenciled on the engine cowl of a Brand B airliner flown by a major air carrier:

"Do not open fan cowl door until leading edge slats are retracted and

See instructions inside door."


I'd rather
4th Jul 2001, 19:43
"Stop that crying, or I'll give you something to cry about!"