View Full Version : Jordan....What's wrong with me?

31st Mar 2004, 09:40
Having now read an article about Jordan, queen of silicone, having an affair with a D list celebrity show jumper I am beginning to wonder what is wrong with me?

I think I may be the only man in the UK who hasn't had a swing on here comely protruberances.

Can any other Pprooners confirm or deny the length or brevity of their affair with Jordan?

Jordan (http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2004142934,00.html)

31st Mar 2004, 09:49
No, I haven't touched her.

Then again, I do have standards.


31st Mar 2004, 09:51

I have to admit that I would rather have a quick one off the wrist than go anywhere near Jordan.

Talking about quick ones off the wrist I purchased FHM at the weekend which included the 100 sexiest women book. In a moment of boredom I bothered to count how many I would actually bother to sleep with should the chance present itself ( and the wife allow ). It was less than half.

How picky am I getting in my advancing years????



31st Mar 2004, 09:52
I wouldn't go near her, not even with yours maninblack

Boss Raptor
31st Mar 2004, 10:01
I think she's pig ugly...but then she probably wouldn't like me either :uhoh:

Anthony Carn
31st Mar 2004, 10:08
She's sliding down the wrong side of the attractiveness hill these days -- the jungle thing finally convinced me.

The boobs have always been ludicrous, but as she ages they're becoming sad.

But in her younger days she was very desireable, IMHO. I would have ! Doggy essential, to get a face slapper going just for the fun of it ! Probably knock her out !

First priority would be to remove her bra .......... and shove it in her mouth, subject to it not being needed for other duties (her mouth, I mean).

Naaaaa worra meeeeen daaaaalin ? :rolleyes:

tony draper
31st Mar 2004, 10:12
She is butt ugly in my book, she has a face like a raddled fish wife and she looks like she has two arses.
She does nowt for me thats for sure.

31st Mar 2004, 10:14
Have to agree with the above.

Re-arrange these words into a well-known phrase --

'barge-pole a touch with wouldn't her'.

Anthony Carn
31st Mar 2004, 10:15
Drapes ! You said that without mentioning Lorraine Kelly ! :ooh:

31st Mar 2004, 10:16
I'd kn*b it. Some of you lot need the practice I reckon:E

Biggles Flies Undone
31st Mar 2004, 10:25
It's very easy to act cool when you've no chance.....

Here's the situation: you're away on business alone, she's staying the same hotel, you get chatting in the bar and after a couple of drinks she offers you a one-off bit of no-strings fun.

And you're going to turn her down and get pissed on your own in the bar instead?

Fair enough if you're married or decrepit, otherwise why the heck not? She's not my type at all, but I bet it would be fun....

31st Mar 2004, 10:26
So do I and I've seen a video of how much fun she can be. Anyways Hang around Maresfield & you never know yer luck.

31st Mar 2004, 10:37
I'd rather give Lorraine Kelly one than Jordan......


31st Mar 2004, 10:56
Like either of them are on the cards, Mr Kelly!:}

31st Mar 2004, 14:10
Click picture to enlarge . . . I'd say they've been enlarged enough already !!! :eek:

The Nr Fairy
31st Mar 2004, 14:47
I had an odd thought - maybe we could merge this with the supermarket thread - then we could call it 15 things to do in Jordan.

31st Mar 2004, 17:07
Must go against the flow here I am afraid. I have met her a few times out on the lash in Brighton and I must say I have been completely suprised by how 'ordinary' she is, or seems to be when having a few drinks. Spoken to her at length about various things and she is pretty clued up and not as stupid as many people think.

The only letdown was when a stretch limo pulled up outside a club we were standing outside. I said something like "here is your cab then" to which she replied "no-way, I am NOT that tacky."......!!!!

Shame really, she is a differant woman away from all limelight.

31st Mar 2004, 18:23
Jordan.....What's wrong with me?

What's fcukin right with you, you ugly tart?

I'm still convinced that herself and Dean Gaffney were seperated at birth....