View Full Version : A Joke For Gash Handlin'

18th Nov 2001, 23:27
A Scots chap in England was walking home pissed from the pub as usual, and decides to take a quick nap on a park bench, to provide stamina for the rest of the journey. While he is dozing, a couple of girls stroll by. One says to the other "Hey, is it true that they dont wear anything beneath those kilts?" The other girl giggles and says "Lets take a look ". So, after finding that the chap is indeed naked under his kilt, the first one says "We should leave something to let him know we were here." So, she removes a blue ribbon from her hair and ties it around the base of his bell-end. When he comes round a couple of hours later, the Scot nips behind a bush for a quick wee. He finds the ribbon and in tones of awe murmurs, " I dont know where you have been laddie, but i see you took first prize........" :D

19th Nov 2001, 00:58
BRL,,,, I love it!!!!!!!!!

melanie T :D :D :D

19th Nov 2001, 01:28
Last week I was explaining to a nice young lady in a bar in New Orleans that I was from Scotland, leading to the inevitable enquiry.

Was thus able to deploy the line:

"Nothing is worn under the kilt ....

.... it's all in perfect working order !"

Corny, but it certainly worked !! :D :D :D

[ 18 November 2001: Message edited by: Grainger ]

Gash Handlin
19th Nov 2001, 01:37
hahaha BRL,

But is it too late to tell you I'm not sweaty, I just live up here :D

19th Nov 2001, 09:38
Hmmmm.....ok Gash, i didn't know that..!!

Here we go then, An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman and Gash walk into a pub one night. The barman says "Hey, is this the start of some kind of joke or what.?".

I have an absolute cracker for you Mel but i am off to work right now and have no time to write it so look out later on.

Gash, so where are you from.?

19th Nov 2001, 17:58
This one is for you MEL.

There was a Liverpool fan with a really crappy seat at Anfield. Looking around, he noticed an empty seat near the halfway line. Thinking to himself, "What a waste" he made his way down to it. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken.?"
"This was my wife's seat," said the man. "She passed away recently......She was a big Liverpool fan."
"I am so sorry to hear of your loss. " said the first man. "May i ask why you didn't give her ticket to a friend or relative?"
"Because they are all at the funeral, " replies the man......... :eek:

[ 19 November 2001: Message edited by: Big Red ' L ' ]

gravity victim
19th Nov 2001, 18:49
A husband asks his wife " Tell me, if I die, would you get married again?"

"Well, after a while, I guess so, yes."

" And would you sleep with him in our bed?"

"Sure, why not, he'd be my husband then."

"Charming. I suppose you'd give him my golf clubs as well?"

"No point - he's left-handed."

20th Nov 2001, 02:15
Thanks, BRL......xx :D :D :D