View Full Version : Eating with your mouth open. uugh!!

26th Jun 2001, 17:58
Why do some people do it? Eating properly is surely a simple function that you are taught as a child, and you remain capable of doing it for the rest of your life. It's hardly as if you don't get enough practice at doing it.

So why do some parents not make their children stick to this very critical but simple rule of etiquette?

I've just had the misfortune of having to eat my lunch opposite an early 20's, university educated young man, who seems incapable of eating with his mouth shut. The slurp slurp can be heard in a quiet environment several yards away. There's then the most disgusting sight, every time you look at him. Of course I refrained from commenting on this, but who will educate him in this area of his failing? When will he learn how to eat properly, before he's eating lunch with clients in our boardroom?

[This message has been edited by Iceolareanic (edited 26 June 2001).]

Stiff Lil' Fingers
26th Jun 2001, 18:29
Blimey Ice Lolly, next you'll be telling us he had his elbows on the table too! Have some people no shame?

However, thinking laterally, should one of your corporate clients be a vendor of tableware/linen etc. his presence during boardroom lunches could stimulate some interesting new product development, thereby generating your company significant fee income.

Just a thought

26th Jun 2001, 18:42
A worse offense, IMHO, is thinking with your mouth open. We all know the kind of person who believes his every thought and opinion (which are, of course, the only right ones) must be impressed upon everyone around him.

Why do some parents never teach their children that their opinions may not be the only ones, and that though you may disagree with someone, it is still rude and selfish to tell them outright that their point of view or lifestyle is wrong?

I was witness to this sort of behaviour recently and the self-righteous preaching could be heard throughout the room. Then there was the most disgusting sight of his tiny little mind being visible every time he opened his mouth.

:) :) :)

Biggles Flies Undone
26th Jun 2001, 19:09
Onya RadioFlyer :)

We need a new forum just for WUW's (Wind-Up ******s). I can think of several posters who would flourish there and (hopefully) the rest of us could get on with enjoying Jet Blast.

What do you say Danny?

26th Jun 2001, 19:51
Just another example of indecency and lowering of public morals. Comfirms my wind up theory though. Iceman.

26th Jun 2001, 20:15
Steepclimb, why does it wind you up, that I'm raising and mentioning these issues? There are lot of things that wind me up and leave me frustrated with the way things are, and events that take place.

This is just one thing, which after spoiling my lunch I though I would pour out here. I'm sure other people are would have found it just as unpleasant, and would have been equally wound up by having to sit opposite someone who lacks basic table manners.

26th Jun 2001, 20:19
Maybe the solution to this is to liquidize all food, then suck it through a straw like the astronauts do.......

Live long and Prosper.....

26th Jun 2001, 20:54

Only way out of this one mate is to fight fire with fire.

Get yourself a nice build up of intestinal gas and let rip when this guy is munching away.

Sort of a gastronomic equivalent of your contributions to JB so far. ;)

26th Jun 2001, 20:57
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2">So why do some parents not make their children stick to this very critical but simple rule of etiquette?</font>

Amazing isn't it Iceman, all these dreadfully lax and uncaring parents not teaching their kids this that and the other.............. :mad:

People that can't teach their kids manners shouldn't be allowed to procreate, right?

Well now dearie, perhaps you could advise me in improved child raising techniques, because I am at my wits end here!

2 teenage kids raised the same way.
1 I could take to the best restaurant in Paris, and he'd do me proud.
The other 1 eats in a way that would put Porky the Cong Cat off it's food. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

They are smart kids both of them, I love them dearly but table manners do not have a priority with one of them, whatever I say, do, punish or threaten. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif

Iceman, if you ever eat your lunch opposite this child of mine, you have my apologies in advance! :) :)

PS I agree, It's revolting the way some people eat their food, not to mention the way they chew gum LOL

26th Jun 2001, 23:25
'Deliberate' misunderstanding, excellent. Imagine not knowing what I meant wind up, tsk tsk.
whirr grind........
You play the eternal straight man to perfection.

26th Jun 2001, 23:43
I can think of something that I like to eat with my mouth open. Bit difficult to think of any other way really.

Can't recall any complaints. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

26th Jun 2001, 23:55
Was that wind up or 'wind' up ?

26th Jun 2001, 23:56
Hmmmmm - obviously getting a bit slow in my old age. If you don't open your mouth, how can you eat? Or perhaps you've invented a way of cutting out the middle man and stuffing the food straight into another orifice.

Tinnie - you'll have to learn to breathe through your ears mate. :)

(And yes, of course I'm deliberately misunderstanding!)

ppproper person
27th Jun 2001, 00:11
I suppose we could ask Vel about complaints?

27th Jun 2001, 00:52
I was thinking of an icecream cone, Wholi.

Not sure I understand what you mean... :)

27th Jun 2001, 01:01
Ice, here is the script:
I. X, We like you. You are bright. You
should have a great future, here or
with someone else. That is the
good part. But I have to tell you,
there is a bad part. You eat like a
pig, and this will kill your career.
You can't let that happen, nor can
we. So we are going to send you to
couth school at our expense for two
X. Up yours! OR:
Really? I am shattered. When do I
I. [Complete rest of dialogue].

27th Jun 2001, 01:23
I have been deliberatly mis-interpreted by a few people here. Of course one has to open ones mouth to put food in, but whilst chewing it, ones mouth should be closed.

This is good table manners and is polite to the people around you. They do not want to have to listen to the slurping chewing noises while they eat.

I am not excessivly picky about table manners, but this is a simple and important one. For example I do not frown on people who tilt the soup bowl towards them while finishing the last amount, despite the fact it should be tilted away. Despite this being poor etiquete, it is not a very serious mistake in my mind.

Winston Smith
27th Jun 2001, 03:07
Well, I think it's time to finally come out of the closet: on a few occasions I've been secretly eating fries with my bare fingers, and sometimes I even have fantasies of doing so in public! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/redface.gif

27th Jun 2001, 05:58
Hey Ico, my girlfriend sometimes eats with her mouth open and making slurping sounds but I ain't complaining! :) :)

[This message has been edited by HotDog (edited 27 June 2001).]

The Fokker's chocka ocker
27th Jun 2001, 15:27
I would have thought that you'd have the common courtesy to raise the topic with the unfortunATE lad.

But no. You air his disgusting habits on a public bulletin board, subjecting the slack-jawed yokel to a lifetime of shame and embarrassment.

Next time you've but no option to witness the product of his rearing, don't be so unbelievably selfish, and raise the topic. Have you no respect for your fellow human beings?

There is also the possibility that his lip-smacking is part of one of his fetishes, and thus, should be left to his quiet enjoyment.

This is providing that he wears a wedding band.
If not, he could very well be one of those free-wheeling fetishists i've read about, and you should do the decent thing and counsel with him.

27th Jun 2001, 17:08
Icehole, you sound very much like Jesus loves me. Welcome (?) back, haven't heard from you since May 27.

Luke SkyToddler
27th Jun 2001, 19:25
Poor baby ... my heart bleeds custard for you.

Let me tell you something Ice man, if I am ever lucky enough to be in a restaurant and see you, jesus-loves-me, old-cross-bound, or any of the other non-flying religious @rseholes that have hijacked jet blast from real pilots these last few months and turned it into a f*cking church pulpit, then I am personally going to come over and take a big sh!t on your dinner plates, and then hold a gun to your pompous, judgmental fat heads while you eat the whole lot. With your mouths open. :mad:

What would Capt IFS think if he saw the state of this forum now? Can anyone else remember when it was FUNNY, and wasn't stuffed full of supercilious smug ******s with moral high grounds to ram down normal people's throats? Come back man, we need you!!

Captain Mainwaring
27th Jun 2001, 19:55
Have none of you ever been to the USA?
Those good ole boys have to chop up their food and then using only a fork (with the right hand) proceed to chew/shout/cough/sneeze with their mouth open.
The only people this side of the pond i have seen do this are the severely disabled !

27th Jun 2001, 20:21
[email protected],

For someone's who's never made anyone in JB laugh by reading your infrequent posts, you seem to have a very strong opinion about the present discussions.

Why don't you use your sharp wit to liven the place up for once, instead of bitching that no-one else is doing it instead. I bet it's a whole f***ing barrel of laughs being taught to fly by you. You can't order the JB crowd to write more jokes.

Bio Warrior
28th Jun 2001, 02:03
Owch Lukesky toddler!
I'm hurt and wounded and I shall have to go seek a cuddle to put right the sadness your horrible words have instilled in my kitten heart .... Not all of us Christians are bad.

Bio in need of cuddle

28th Jun 2001, 05:55
Luke SkyJacker,

What we see here is perfect example of one who thinks with his mouth wide open. How many times have you had to change your name here after opening your mouth and sticking your foot in it, wise one ?

It's like when you open your mouth to eat something and you fail to close it when you chew and you get this really shallow thought and your mouth opens and you choke trying to get the meaningless thought out of your mouth while your food runs down the side of your chin, only different, right?

ocb :)

29th Jun 2001, 19:55
Quite an extroadinary change of direction here. I had expected people to agree that eating with your mouth open is such a basic failing in table manners, and we would all be equally shocked by it.

I'm comming to realise that some people take serious offence when they realise that others can be judgemental. I do not believe that LukeSkyToddler eats with his mouth open. I think he's become very stressed upon realising that people do judge each other, and has gone off into a tirade of nonsense. Maybe he considers the person who eats with their mouth open as being picked on and needing a defence in their absense. People will step in to help those that we consider to be weaker than ourselves, and in need of assistance.

1st Jul 2001, 16:18
Seeing as LukeSkyjacker's totally failed to provide any amusement in this thread, I'll show him what JB'ers were looking for.

Iceolareanic was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven.

"Hungry, Ice?" the Lord asked.

"I could eat," said Ice.

The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it.

While eating this humble meal, Ice looked down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants devouring enormous steaks, pheasant, pastries and vodka.

The next day, the Lord again asked Ice if he was hungry, and Ice again said, "I could eat."

Once again, a can of tuna was opened and shared, while down below Ice noticed a feast of caviar, champagne, lamb, truffles, brandy and chocolates.

The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened.

Meekly, Ice said, "Lord, I am very happy to be in heaven as a reward for the good life I lived. But, this is heaven, and all I get to eat is tuna. But in the Other Place, they eat like Kings. I just don't understand."

"To be honest, Ice," the Lord said, "for just two people, does it really pay to cook?"