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Co ordination unaffected
20th Jun 2001, 21:39
What food can you recommend for the loudest most disgusting fart you've ever experienced?

http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

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Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were
forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.

Flypuppy
20th Jun 2001, 21:51
Brussel Sprouts, Cabbage and Red Kidney Beans, all in the same meal, finished off with some prunes.

Drink some Guiness and you are ready to disgust even yourself.

india_bravo
20th Jun 2001, 23:37
Baked Beans are good for your heart, the more you eat the more you fart.

tony draper
20th Jun 2001, 23:52
Dry swallow a couple of tea spoons full of Calcium Carbide. ;)

little red train
21st Jun 2001, 00:22
Raw rubbarb. - tis the best of the best.
Pot noodle. sustained expulsion
Riveta muliti-grain (min 6 slices) very rumbly
Alpen (two bowls with milk, beware of follow through)

The fart is a wonderfull creature,
It lives in the valley of bum,
It travels around your knikers,
and comes out with a musical hum!

Luke SkyToddler
21st Jun 2001, 03:33
I made quite a scientific study of this art form at high school, due to the fact I regularly had to make long coach trips with a bunch of people I really hated. After a lot of trial and error, I refined my technique down to the following recipe:

1) The night before you wish to produce the desired effect, consume two large servings of Burger King onion rings, a jar of tinned asparagus, and a six pack of Budweiser (or any other cheap & nasty poorly brewed and excessively fizzy lager).

2) The following morning, light the fuse with a dessertspoon of brewer's yeast, as many cans of red bull as you can possibly stomach without it coming back up your nose, and if time permits, a brisk 10 minute mountain bike ride to stir it all together.

For some reason, I got beaten up a lot on the school bus ... :)

Slasher
21st Jun 2001, 09:26
COU, I was just wondering why you ask this question. Going to try to give the right impresion to the potential in-laws? Having dinner next week with the ex and her new boyfriend? Maybe moving to France soon?

PS giving me a plate of lima-beans gives me the loudest farts. For the loudest and smellyest, give me baked-beans mixed with raw eggs, and a generous helping of brussels sprouts and some fried chicken and lima-beans. Its amazing my @rse doesnt shatter from the sonic pressure next day!

ExSimGuy
21st Jun 2001, 11:18
FlyPuppy,

Was that your menu - surely not something Mrs FlyPuppy normally serves up http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/confused.gif

If so, please accept my sincere apologies that I have a previous engagement and will not be able to attend the invitation to Puppy Pile for luncheon http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

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What goes around . . .
. . often lands better!

angels
21st Jun 2001, 11:33
I find that six or seven pints of Shepherd Neame Masterbrew followed by a mixed kebab and chips from my local kebab emporium do the business.....

Evanelpus
21st Jun 2001, 11:55
Radish and mayonaisse sandwiches washed down with a 1.5 litre bottle of Dr Pepper.

The resultant fart will kick start a jumbo!!

mad_jock
21st Jun 2001, 12:46
Stage 1.

6 pints of Kilkenny ale followed by chicken saag with a side plate of lentils and bombay tatties.

Stage 2.

After 6 hrs kip
2 savoury pies from gregs the bakers in george square washed down with a pint of milk.

Stage 3.

4 pepperramies spicy

Stage 4

garlic chicken roll

Stage 5

1.5 hrs scuba diving with 30mins deco with serious guts pains starting at 30 meters.

Stage 6

feel seriously unwell breathing lots of o2 thinking a bend is near. O2 dosn't help retire to pub.

Stage 7.

.5 of a pint glass of red wine.

Stage 8.

80 second fart, 4 pitch changes, 3 volume changes followed by a huge humpf of relief all gut pains and bends symptons gone. One very still pub for 30secs until someone started a round of applause. Then everyone retired outside for 10mins while the extractors were put on full belt.

MJ

Biggles Flies Undone
21st Jun 2001, 13:12
Angels - I must agree with you - drank a lot of Masterbrew in my formative drinking years and it was universally known as Sh*t and Scream :)

I have to agree with Flypuppy overall, though - even the thought of that menu is making my bum pucker!

angels
21st Jun 2001, 14:48
BFU - knowing you lived near the Palace means I have to ask, did you drink your Neame in The Two Brewers in Gloucester Road? If so, I've probably served you!!
To keep this thread on the original topic, before I started my shift at the pub I would eat some battered mushrooms and chips from the chippy around the corner.
That (coupled with the beer) used to produce some absolute stunners.

Biggles Flies Undone
21st Jun 2001, 15:04
Angels – I’ve had many pints in the Two Brewers! I lived off Green Lane up until 1980 and that pub was an oasis from the dreaded Grotneys Red :) And there used to be two stunning blonde barmaids who never wore bras (and one of them rode a Laverda Jota too – cor!). I also used to spend many weekends at Broadstairs where a decent drop of S&N was guaranteed.

Happy days and thanks for reminding me of a great town pub :)

429 CJ
21st Jun 2001, 15:35
http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/fart.gif

Just thought I'd share that thought with you!

Nah, seriously, if you want the most deadset undies-burning, eye-watering, even nose-singeing 'air biscuit' to be ever baked on this planet, then follow this.....

* 1st step, make sure that you have been to the aforementioned 'Burger King' and had some of their wonderful onion rings to get the gut in the mood...

* 2nd step, Drop in at the local bottlo and grab oneself a good half a case of the finest stout availiable. Start consuming this on the way home. You other half/mate is driving I hope...

*3rd step, Get oneself into the finest anchovie, garlic, and pepperoni ridden pizza that money can buy. Cold or hot, your call...

*4th step, Now the old belly should be just about to start "rolling thunder" by now, but if not, then I suggest a brisk walk to the corner store to pick up some cabbage and a large tin of Heinz baked beans. Take these home and combine, garnishing with a full bottle of sweet chilli sauce.

Now it is time to share a few of these moments with those closest to you, preferably under a blanket......! :)

If that don't get you divorced, nothing will.

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'Gravity' is just a myth that the earth sux.....anon.. (or was I just drunk again?)

[This message has been edited by 429 CJ (edited 21 June 2001).]

[This message has been edited by 429 CJ (edited 21 June 2001).]

mad_jock
21st Jun 2001, 15:46
For everyones enjoyment

http://www.krank.dk/avi/Farting_in_Bed.avi

PilotsPal
21st Jun 2001, 18:43
Astonishing. Have none of you ever eaten Jerusalem artichokes?

mad_jock
21st Jun 2001, 18:51
You mean they make girls fart as well?

[This message has been edited by mad_jock (edited 21 June 2001).]

I'd rather
21st Jun 2001, 19:18
A good friend of mine used to recommend a pint (or several) of Pedigree, and eggs (for smell if not volume).

Co ordination unaffected
22nd Jun 2001, 01:29
Thanks for all the tips. I like a good real ale, and Stagg chilli out of a tin for a real 'Where did I put that duvet' kind of a night.

Keep 'em coming

Boss Raptor
22nd Jun 2001, 17:52
Dried fruit especially apricots mixed with yogurt and bran flakes - give it 4 hours...shaken not stirred...