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The Mistress
20th Jun 2001, 19:06
Ever have one of those moments when you wish the ground would open up and swallow you? Tell us about them! I'll start ...

On a particularly hot day at work I went to the nearest water cooler to find the bottle empty (large square type). As there is never a man around when you need one, I decided to change the water container myself. I hadn't realised how heavy these things are! I managed to get the bottle inverted, on top of the cooler and was just trying to position the nozzle when the weight of it got too much and the bottle slipped through my hands. The bottle split on impact with the ground and I stood helplessly by as 22 litres of water tidal waved its way across the carpet towards a bank of electric sockets in the skirting board http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif At that precise moment my boss stuck his head round the door and took in the scene before him. I steeled myself ready for the inevitable - but he just laughed!!

I work on the first floor of our building and so spent the rest of the afternoon running up and down stairs to make sure that water wasn't running down the electric wiring to the floor below!!!

fobotcso
21st Jun 2001, 02:59
Gives new meaning to the expression "my waters have burst"!

Slasher
21st Jun 2001, 10:57
With a nom-the-plume like "The Mistress" I was expecting a raunchier story!

The Mistress
21st Jun 2001, 11:01
Slash I save those for private hearings.

I respect Danny's Hotel Lobby Police and am mindful of the fact that my neighbours read this forum :)

ExSimGuy
21st Jun 2001, 12:13
and if, like me, you have PRuNe on the "favorites" on your office computer, you boss probably reads it too :)

Still, he's obviously got a sense of humour http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

The Mistress
21st Jun 2001, 15:00
It's compulsory where we work ;)

As no-one else is going to confess their gaffs I take it that all other PPruners are totally perfect ... yeah, right :)

... and just in case he does read this - love you really A and thanks for the payrises ;)

OzExpat
21st Jun 2001, 18:47
Mistress... I can't post my story coz I have such great respect for the rules of "The Lobby". Also, the other party just might read it and get p!ssed at me! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif :)

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Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!

Blacksheep
22nd Jun 2001, 08:57
I have no regrets...

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Through difficulties to the cinema

catswhisker
22nd Jun 2001, 23:30
I am, of course, perfect.
But a short-haul hostie I know, a stunningly beautiful French girl, admits that..
"I do not like to wear ze knickairs at werque..Zay make me 'ot..
Well, I do zees flat one day.. eet ees to Paree.. eet ees a shirt, shirt flat.
We serve ze meal, we serve ze dreenks.. Everyone on zis flat, mon Dieu, zay are so MESSEE..! So, we tardy up after zem. We go on tardy and tardy, zen -- mon Dieu! -- eet ees nearly tarm to land! Bert.. I am dyyyink for a pee. So, I rersh into ze toilette, have pee. I rersh out again and rersh down ze aisle, and I zink: PourQUOI are zese passangairs laughing?? And zen, when I get to ze end of ze aisle, zair ees zees one passengair, he is wheestling zees tune, eet ees vairy populair in France.. Eet ees called "Ah Want To Be a Hostee, To Get Mah Bunnns In Ze Air"..
And, mon Dieu!! Zen I realise.. I have Terked my skert eento my suspendairs and have gone all down ze aisle wees my botterm all ovair ze place behind me!! Eet was terreeble!!"

Mon dieu.

Smaug
23rd Jun 2001, 00:23
Picture the scene..

(Former) West Germany and the whole squadron has been deployed at short notice into the field as part of a BIG Nato exercise. I'm the blokey responsible for all that crap that military aircrew wear and so I have to get my **** together double quick else the aircrew wont have anywhwere to stash their kit, then they get all grumpy and generally thereafter the whole world falls apart. So I'm struggling in the rain to put this bloody tent up, a lot of very expensive equipment is getting wet and Im generally not having fun.

Then a voice in the distance calls my name. Without looking round I reply vociferously along the lines of .."O fefuxake what do you want ?"

I turn around to see the squadron boss striding toward me accompanied by a member of our beloved monarchy.

Got posted shortly aferward, never found out why.

airtaxi
23rd Jun 2001, 00:48
Slasher may like this one.
Many years ago I was in my then girlfriends bedroom with one tit in one hand and the other tit in my mouth when her mother walks in offering a cup of tea. I couldn't reply 'cause my mouth was full.

Worse than that on the embarressment stakes though, was one night when when a young lady invited me back to her place 'for coffee'.
After a few minutes of foreplay she asked me what I thought I was doing? Puzzled I looked down to discover I had been trying to 'finger' her caesarian section scar!!

Needless to say I didn't feel like much of a ladies man after that!

sprocket
23rd Jun 2001, 02:40
Airtaxi, were you in Asia at that time?

airtaxi
23rd Jun 2001, 17:04
Sprocket- Not in Asia but deepest darkest Wales. Interesting that you mention the far east though. Have you had an experience with a 'ladyboy' you wish to share with us caring listeners at PPRuNe?
I remember being in Singapore in a place called Boogis street (I think) where the Kykes were more attractive than real women!
I wasn't tempted although I did wake up with a sore arse and complete memory loss the next morning!!
(just kidding about the memory loss :) :)

[This message has been edited by airtaxi (edited 23 June 2001).]

Lurk R
23rd Jun 2001, 18:04
Not aviation related but a few years ago I was at an engagement party with a group of friends. One of my mates wife had been pregnant for a while. A group of about 5 of us were standing around talking and having a drink and I asked the wife when the baby was due. She said "pardon" and I repeated the question. One of the others said "um, the babies in the lounge"... I never realised the bloody thing had been born the week before.

At this stage I was looking around for that hole in the floor that had to be somewhere nearby...