View Full Version : everything you always wanted to know about anything

Onan the Clumsy
22nd Sep 2001, 01:36
We have a radio show here that every time they can't get a guest they have an "Everything you always wanted to know about anything" show where people call in with odd questions and other people call in with the answers and more questions, ad infinitum.

It's way more entertaining than normal guests, so I though we could have a similar thread here.

Here goes: Why do you often get better reception on an FM radio if you put it into MONO mode?

tony draper
22nd Sep 2001, 02:16
Not quite sure but it probably has something to do with the Stereo is transmited, it is a complex signal, LEFT/ RIGHT---then left plus right then right minus left, something like that, mono your probably just getting the straight forward left plus right signal.

Hmmm anybody want to know how a Neutron Bomb works?. hmmmm . ;)

[ 21 September 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

22nd Sep 2001, 03:26

Check it.

22nd Sep 2001, 05:39

From HowStuffWorks
Results 1 - 10 for 'Tony+Draper's+Mind'

There were no matches for Tony Draper's Mind found on the website.

Can't say I'm surprised ;)

22nd Sep 2001, 15:10
I'll take a wild stab in the dark for you Onan and say that The mono mode uses the inside part of the wavelength which is much tighter than outerpart used for stereo and hence the signal comes through clearer.

Tony I got no idea how a neutron bomb works but an atom bomb works by critical mass ie a piece of uranium 235 the size of a tennis ball won't blow up but a piece twice the size of the tennis ball will, so you get two tenis ball size pieces and when you want them to blow up you fire a charge that pushes the two pieces together and they form a critical mass - boom.

tony draper
22nd Sep 2001, 15:42
The device you describe would be of more danger to ones own chaps Mr T,undoubtedly high speed tennis balls from the initial detonation, would break many of your enemies windows, residual tennis balls with eon long half lives are the drawback. ;)

Mr Eric, your name has been placed in the book, and a red line drawn thru it.

[ 22 September 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

22nd Sep 2001, 16:54
howcome when they don't know someones name they call them john or jane doe? :confused:

22nd Sep 2001, 17:42
I'n lokinh ocer mu shulder aa i tipe Mr D, henc teh carp tripin :eek:

tony draper
22nd Sep 2001, 17:44
John Doe?, Jane Doe??

Why don't they just ask them who they are? ;)

[ 22 September 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

22nd Sep 2001, 17:45
ding ... Maybe coz it sounds better than calling them OzExpat and dingducky? :D

Self Loading Freight
23rd Sep 2001, 01:20

FM in mono is clearer than FM in stereo because of the moths.

In the studio, the broadcaster is surrounded by a cloud of Ugandan Elephant's Eyebrow Moths -- so called because of the famous incident involving Cecil Rhodes and the canoe -- which are constantly darting towards the broadcaster's lips. Note that this requires no training on the part of the moths: it is a purely instinctual action. As the moths get close to the mouth, they are blown away by the exhaled breath which is, of course, modulated by the voice of the broadcaster. Tiny mirrors on the moths' wings are set a-tremble, which catch the light and make it dance a danse macabre of meaning. Eagle-eyed moth watchers positioned around the room -- and this does require training -- note the pattern of light and operate pairs of bellows in time to the twinkles. The air from these bellows is coupled to the transmitter, which converts the airy squirts to twitches in the aether. (Note that digital radio replaces the bellows with silk gloves surrounded by fine tubes full of mercury).

Stereo transmissions require extra-highly trained moth watchers, who can discern left- and right-wing movements. The watchers have much smaller bellows, one in each hand, which they manipulate independently. Because the bellows are smaller, the puffs of air are also much smaller and the normal winds of the aether can interfere. Switching the receiver to mono sends a big puff of wind back to the transmitter, which steadies the moths and makes the wings beat in synchronicity, doubling the size of the air coming from the mini hand-bellows and reducing the effect of the aether winds.

I hope that's clear.


tony draper
23rd Sep 2001, 01:43
Had the human race evolved in a more sensible fashion, mankind would only have one ear in the middle of the forehead, would have saved the home service a fortune not having to transmit in stereo.
Draper would not have had to purchase a surround sound system for his tv, and another for his computer.
Hmm, dwelling upon this subject, are two eyes really necessary?, one eyed people don't seem to have any difficulty judging distance, they do not walk around bumping into things, do they.
For that matter, is colour a unnecessary embelishment, think of the money ladies would save on not having to buy make up and grey frocks would do perfectly well, if we had monochromatic vision.
Testicles,!why two?, and nostrils for that matter, redundance in a well understood concept in engineering, but one questions its usefullness in biology.
If you are attacked by a crazed grizzly bear, it is unlikely to rip of just one of your testicles is it?.

PS,One hesitates to say this, but did evolution have to give the female of the species the power of speech at all?, one could have always given them a note for the shops, and in addition, wouldn't this be a happier world perhaps if our young men didn't enjoy the power of speech until they reached the age of say thirty and actualy had something to say, that was worth turning ones single ear toward.?

One heads for the Draper bunker

[ 22 September 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

23rd Sep 2001, 02:07
But dear Tony....Thank goodness for divine intervention on the ears location and layout....if we had just the one ear in the center of our forehead we would all be running around wearing goggles instead of spectacles! Now wouldn't that be awkward...besides that would then cause disruption to the sound waves entered the single orifice you advocate thus rendering politicians inane drivel truly useless. They would not even be able to bore us to sleep. ;)

tony draper
23rd Sep 2001, 02:30
You have a point there, Mr H,perhaps mother nature could have been kinder, and supplied humanity with ear lids, or perhaps ear lips would be more correct, they would undoubtedly been a boon to long suffering mankind.
All in all not a lot of ergonomic thought went into our design, for instance whats the point of having fingers on ones foot, if one is unable to utilise them with the same dexterity the chimpanze enjoys.
Ones nob also could have used a little more thought,one has no complaint about the size of said organ, not in drapers case at least,
But does it have to hang there like it does when not deployed for its intended purpose, a small storage compartment warm and safe would not have come amiss, the ladies have the advantage of us here.

[ 22 September 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

23rd Sep 2001, 12:35
Okay ... here's one for the science buffs - or maybe it's physics. Most substances contract when chilled and expand when heated so why does a given quantity of water occupy more space when it's frozen?


tony draper
23rd Sep 2001, 13:24
I believe its called the anomalous behavier of water, the water molecule expands in the low energy state, interestingly, if this was not so, life would not exsist on earth.
Ice would sink, and the oceans would have frozen from the bottom up.
Sorry thats all I can remember on the subject,someone here must have left school more recently than Draper.
One does dimly recal the lecture on this strange phenomina, but the prof was rudely interupted by the good news that, Mafaking had been relieved.
Another interesting thought, if water didn't expand when frozen, the Titanic would have made it to New York.

[ 23 September 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

24th Sep 2001, 00:35
Jeez- everything you always wanted to know about anything-

Sh!t! I just ask my wife..

[email protected]! Sometimes I don't even have to ask....

24th Sep 2001, 00:45
re why two nostrils
If you only had one, you stand the risk of suffocation when picking your noes

24th Sep 2001, 00:45
John or Jane Doe

the corpses are the responsibility of the Department of the Environment,(DOE) until identified or claimed.

Send Clowns
24th Sep 2001, 04:09
Draper, Titanic would not have made it to New York, as New York would not have existed. Yalready said there would be no life, and most agree that in less turbulent times New York is full of life!

As to the freezing of water, Blue, as it freezes it develops a regular crystalline structure. At 0 degrees C liquid water takes up more volume than the same mass of liquid water does at about 4 degrees C (maximum density of liquid water at 1 atmosphere is at about 4 degrees), as some structure is being anticipated. Then as it freezes it forms a hexagonally-patterned crystalline structure taking up even more space, thus it floats and sinks ocean liners or chills gin and tonic, depending on the size of the iceburg.

[ 23 September 2001: Message edited by: Send Clowns ]

24th Sep 2001, 05:47

Danniella Westbrook seems to manage just fine with the one nostril, she hasn't suffocated just yet and she puts a lot more than just a finger up there!

24th Sep 2001, 13:50
Mr Draper,

for info on your neutron bomb check out the Federation of American Scientist's site www.fas.org (http://www.fas.org) ...everything you wanted to know about nasty weapons.


<edotied cos I cnta tipe>

[ 24 September 2001: Message edited by: VTOL ]

Tricky Woo
24th Sep 2001, 16:38
I've always wondered what size of shoes fit my feet better: size 8's or 8's?

Thanks in anticipation.


24th Sep 2001, 17:54
TW, can you not find anywhere that makes an 8-1/4??? Or would you need 8-1/6, or 8-1/3?


Tricky Woo
24th Sep 2001, 18:31
Not fair answering my question with another question.


24th Sep 2001, 18:47
Why not?


25th Sep 2001, 06:46
SLF a veritable knight to the rescue Sir. Not only have you eyedentified the specifc lepidoptera, but even the particular hephalump.
My understanding of FM/AM/ theory has taken a quantum jump forward. (BTW the canoe sank in the Gazinga channel after a dispute by Rhodes and Livingstone as to who got to go and collect the moths off the elephants eyelashes when the eli stepped back and put his foot though the bottom.)

25th Sep 2001, 17:10
I have one....
What makes an air-plane fly?

Someone once told me some bullsh!t about decreased air pressure on the top of the wing and increased pressure beneath it due to the air over the top flowing faster, but that is absolute [email protected]

We all know that aero - engines produce heat. There is virtually no better way of producing heat than burning fuel. As a byproduct of the heat generation, turbines are spun and a fan is used to blow the hot air backwards, under the aircrafts wings and, as the hot air rises, it lifts the plane with it.

Helicopters use the same principles, only directing the hot air down, and being carried up as the rising air hits the rotor system.

This relies on the principle of hot air rising. This can be proven by the following examples:
Toast pops up out of the toaster when it's hot enough.
The hottest chicks are at the top of the queue to get into the nightclub.
Farts in a bathtub will rise to the surface, as they have just come from the warmth of the human rectum area.

I hope I've cleared up a few things and I apologise for answering my own question.

You want it when?
25th Sep 2001, 17:43
OK, bottle of Cyber POP to the correct response:

Why are you not allowed to take glass bottles onto the beach in Southern California?

25th Sep 2001, 18:01
Everyone knows that winds are caused by trees waving their branches about. I know that many trees work harder in the autumn so that their leaves tend to fall off. Why is it then that we seem to get more and stronger winds in the winter, when most trees are without leaves? :confused:

26th Sep 2001, 07:13
Flying_Circus the answer to the age old question of what makes an aircraft fly is simple Its a combination of avgas/avtur and happy thoughts that make aircraft fly.

Why do men have niples ?

26th Sep 2001, 09:29
For 'You want it when?'

ref the glass at california beaches- if you've ever trodden on a broken bottle in the water (I have) you'll realise they are totally impossible to see! clear glass in clear water etc

Another question- Why does the weather only clear up after you've cancelled flying, then take exactly the same amount of time to deteriorate as it does to get the aircraft out again? :confused:

Cardinal Puff
26th Sep 2001, 15:35
Flying circus, Throttlemonkey...

Jet fuel? Turbines? Hot air? ...And here was me thinking it was the buttered cats, or does that only work for flying saucers?

Why do ducks have flat feet?

Tricky Woo
26th Sep 2001, 19:48
Ducks do not have flat feet... it's just a story that they put about so that they can avoid National Service.

Lazy maligerers, the lot of 'em.

B*stard ducks.


Dave Hedgehog
26th Sep 2001, 23:22
What happened to those pint glasses with the little windows?


Mac the Knife
27th Sep 2001, 00:28
You want it when?

'Cos the girls get sand in their Schlitz

[old Grade School joke]

27th Sep 2001, 00:36
Buttered cats? I was told you put butter on their paws so they sizzle when they accidently walk across the hot plate in the new house cause the old one had gas rings.
i didn't get the bit about not taking glass bottles down to the beach because the girls preferred Schlitz, I thought everybody drank Budwassupwiezer anyway.