View Full Version : an excuse to drink beer???

gul dukat
19th Jun 2001, 15:23
thought you guys might like this !! as if we need reasons to drink the stuff!!

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery
and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to
myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come
true than be selfish and worry about my liver." - by Jack Handy

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. -Frank Sinatra

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're
sober. - William Butler Yeats

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
his fools. - Ernest Hemingway

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to
keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemingway

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. - Catherine Zandonella

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. - Anonymous

Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that
truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat, hairy girls. - Ross Levy

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
her. - W.C. Fields

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? - Tee Mans

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of
the time and have the time of your life. - Michelle Mastrolacasa

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. - Tom Waits

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? - Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When
we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! - Brian O'Rourke

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It
helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons,
but at the very least you need a beer. - Frank Zappa

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has
taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it
makes beer shoot out your nose. - Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. - Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. -
Humphrey Bogart

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Wilhelm

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital
ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just
do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. - Homer Simpson

You know you're drunk when you fall off the floor. You're not drunk if
you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin

To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group

"earth is full ....go home "

Flap Sup
19th Jun 2001, 15:42
If God didn't want us to drink, why did he plant so many olive trees in the holy land? - Don't know who to quote for that

I once fell over a case of whisky. The following day I kept falling... - W.C. Fields

I never drink anyting stronger than Gin before breakfast - W.C. Fields

Once, in the wildst of Afhganistan, we lost our corkscrew and we were forced to live on bread and water for days - W.C. Fields

And another one by Fields, though it has nothing to do with drinking:
Women are like elephants - They are nice to look at, but it would be a mess to own one.

20th Jun 2001, 09:49
Well-known fact (at least, according to FlyPuppy) that beer is the antidote to ChemTrails.

What more reason do I need!!

What goes around . . .
. . often lands better!

20th Jun 2001, 10:23
I heard that beer is acutually one of the first ever date rape drugs. Created by ancient fat bog beasts so they could get some.

20th Jun 2001, 14:02
An excuse to drink? err, you are awake?

20th Jun 2001, 17:25

Buggerit :mad: - no "img" code allowed on JB - you'll have to find the picture yourself! - But:-

Beer may help prevent Alzheimer's - World Alzheimer’s Congress 2000

Beer Cuts Risk of Cataracts - 2000 International Chemical Congress of Pacific Basin Societies

Beer just as good as wine at reducing heart risk - Dr. Martin Bobak, of University College London, UK

[This message has been edited by ExSimGuy (edited 20 June 2001).]

Biggles Flies Undone
20th Jun 2001, 17:37
My old 'signature' says it all ;)

Never drink water - fish f*ck in it (W C Fields)

Flap Sup
21st Jun 2001, 00:53
Once W.C. Fields was on a set, he requested something to drink, as he was thirsty. A runner brought him a glass of water: "I said I was thirsty, not that I needed to wash myself"

rgds FS

21st Jun 2001, 16:48
"When I Think I Drink.....

....and when I Drink I Think"!!!

Detective Chief Inspector Ephrahim Morse (deceased), Thames Valley Police Force

(...sorry Service!!) :) :)

Live long and Prosper.....

[This message has been edited by swashplate (edited 21 June 2001).]

21st Jun 2001, 17:10
Wasn't it "Endeavour"?

(and I agree with Biggles about the signature)
Beer is the only reason I get up every afternoon

[This message has been edited by Eric (edited 21 June 2001).]

21st Jun 2001, 19:14
http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/redface.gif (slaps head)

COURSE...it was Endeavour Morse...

Full marks to Mr Eric!

(thinks...'hasn't the sad git got anything else to do'.....) http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

Live long and Prosper.....

21st Jun 2001, 19:23
Beer. Not at all good for you. Not only causes disruption in society with excessive drunkenness, but does the kidneys no good at all. Alcoholism and drug abuse are destroying the society that was once strong and proud.

It's a disgrace that so many flying clubs have a bar, and revolve their evenings entertainment around it. Pilots excessivly drinking, each trying to 'appear to be a part of a crowd' when each is trying to keep his or her fake image to fit in with the others.

Too many drunks around, bring in prohibition. Then we'd have a better and more moral society.

21st Jun 2001, 20:12
Wind Up Alert.....Wind Up Alert.....

.....remember Al Capone???? :rolleyes:

Live long and Prosper.....

21st Jun 2001, 20:23
Swashplate, Why are you dismissing this. Unfortunatly I know it's never going to happen, mainly because of the criminal element of our society. They would use it to profit and racketeer, murdering their competitiors in this underground world. It's a shame, but it wouldn't work for the above reason. As you say, remember Al Capone

gul dukat
21st Jun 2001, 20:40
Ice old chap !!! have a beer ..chill out !! remember the liver is EVIL it MUST be punished!!!!!!

"earth is full ....go home "

21st Jun 2001, 22:36
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy..........

[This message has been edited by fragul (edited 21 June 2001).]

21st Jun 2001, 22:56
"You are what you drink- and I'm a bitter man" The Macc Lads...

22nd Jun 2001, 00:32

"Too many drunks around" http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/confused.gif

It's "too many auirline people around (especially piulots) thta's the cuase of drinking.

Nothing wrongh with taht, look waht hapeened last time tehy tried prohibition. It'll nether work http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif
This bliidy pomcutor carn't speel http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

22nd Jun 2001, 00:58
Prohibition... sounds like a good idea - but only if I have the job of "disposing" of all of the evil stuff....

export yourself
24th Jun 2001, 07:47
the liver is EVIL and MUST be punished

no name
24th Jun 2001, 09:16
Who needs an excuse as Nike says, "just do it"...

and just as they say Rugby is the game they play in heaven, well beer is what they drink!

24th Jun 2001, 17:01
*Strokes belly*
Some blokes have a six-pack. I've got a keg! :)


Tail Heavy
24th Jun 2001, 17:15
You know what they say, You can never trust a pilot that doesnt drink...

Flap Sup
24th Jun 2001, 18:08
"Show me a man that dosnt drink, and I'll prove that he is half camel!" - W.C. Fields

"Too much of anything is bad, but too much whisky almost isn't enough" - Mark Twain

rgds FS

26th Jun 2001, 04:32
Actually beer was invented by a fat ugly woman so she could feed it to man so she could get some. I'm not trying to bring back any bad memories for anyone reading this forum but im pretty sure I read it in the Bible...Genisis, In the beginning there was beer.........

26th Jun 2001, 11:54
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore. :)

"I don't suffer from stress.I'm a carrier".

26th Jun 2001, 13:21
A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in
front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large
empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about
2 inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They
agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles
and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of
course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the
students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The students
laughed. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the
jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. "Now," said the
professor, "I want you to recognise that this is your life. The rocks
are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your
children - things that if everything else was lost and only they
remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other
things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is
everything else, the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar
first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for
your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay
attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Take care
of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your
priorities. The rest is just sand."

But then a student then took the jar which the other students and the
professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer. Of
course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the
jar truly full.

The moral of this tale is:- no matter how full your life is, there is
always room for beer...

26th Jun 2001, 16:30
I wish that Beer would swallow me.
So that I too may flow into the sea.