View Full Version : Things a man knows about PMS...

9th Aug 2001, 03:38
Top 12 Things that PMS stands for:-

Pass My Shotgun
Psychotic Mood Shift
Perpetual Munching Spree
Puffy Mid-Section
People Make Me Sick
Provide Me with Sweets
Pardon My Sobbing
Pimples May Surface
Pass My Sweatpants
Pissy Mood Syndrome
Plainly; Men Suck
Pack My Stuff

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. Only ONE!!
And do you know WHY?

Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb!
They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!
They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the last 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID *!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO-ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS #$!#@! HOUSE!

I'm sorry...what did you ask me?

9th Aug 2001, 03:56
How about a nice cup of tea then? a snuggle in front of the fire? a foot massage? How come you hit so hard?

9th Aug 2001, 05:38
Easy answer to this questions is:-.....Exactly What I'm Told :D

Tartan Gannet
9th Aug 2001, 08:30
Speaking from personal experience here HM are we? :D :D :D

Chimbu chuckles
9th Aug 2001, 08:37
Anyone know why they called PMS..PMS?

'cause Mad Cow's Disease was already taken!


9th Aug 2001, 15:53
you forgot
Putting up with Men's Sh!t :D

9th Aug 2001, 16:26
I always thought it was the name for the bus company in Stoke-on-Trent...Potteries Motorised Transport :rolleyes:

9th Aug 2001, 17:16
Of course there is the opposite syndrome that is known to exist in men: ESR *

With it's onslaught, we become very irritable ourselves.

* Excessive Sperm Retention

9th Aug 2001, 21:23
Oh Boy, ain't that the truth RW.

And not just once a month....but after every layover! So I forgot to get an oilchange in the car, the world will not come to an end!


Onan the Clumsy
11th Aug 2001, 00:27
I had a girlfriend once who had periods in reverse...

...three days a month she was nice to me.

11th Aug 2001, 01:01
In the office where I work it has become common practice for females on PMT to kindly put the rest of the office in the picture to therefore lower the chances of all out war should someone rub the lady up the wrong way. Seems a good idea to most - they just don't speak to the lass untill a week has well and truly passed!

One time springs to mind when a middle aged collegue on PMT managed to start a barney with one of the guys (no longer working for the company I might add!) who responded to the insane barrage of abuse from the female by retorting:

"C'mon mate - we all know you're on the blob, I would have thought at your age you should have a fair few years experience of Japanese Red Flag week under your belt to be able to cope better than this!"

Well, what can you say to that? I was gob smacked! The others in the office didn't know wether to have a [email protected] or a hair cut. You could have cut the air with a spoon.

I am gonna miss moments like that when I leave! ;)


[ 10 August 2001: Message edited by: VFE ]