View Full Version : Video phone door entry systems

tony draper
16th Mar 2002, 18:32
Brilliant!!best thing since the invention of the microwave.. .Had the normal Sat morning, full of interuptions, unable to log on to chat for more than five minutes because of real life intruding.. .Anyway had four unsolicited callers, two chaps with clip boards ,energy sales men, another lady with clipboard purpose unclear, a middle aged lady and gent with brief cases,(these are the worst, as they are about jesus and his pappies business, one follows Dannys lead in these matters, one does not allow religion of any kind anywhere near Draper towers).. .The faces of these folks are a joy to behold when they reaslise that they are talking to a souless grey box with a camera in it.. .Dealing with folks behind door entry camera systems has been seriously overlooked in the high pressure sales techniques training these creatures have attended.. .Quite simply they are banjaxed,. .. ."ding dong". .. .Drapes not moving from his chair,picks up receiver. ."yes!". .. .Puzzled sales person. ."err emm, err, Norgas". .. .Drapes. ."yes!". .. .sales person, sweating now . ."we were errr wonderin". .. .Drapes. ."yes!". .. .sales person now waving clipboard. ."eerr thingy". .. .Drapes . ."yes!". .. .sales person. ."errr right then thank you". .. .Drapes . ."yes!". .. .Sales person. ."goodbuy". .. .Drapes. ."yes!,Shut the gate". .. .Draper still unmoved from chair replaces receiver.. .. .Get one as soon as poss. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />. . . . <small>[ 16 March 2002, 13:35: Message edited by: tony draper ]</small>

Feeton Terrafirma
16th Mar 2002, 18:41
ahhhhhhhhh Mr Draper have you only just discovered the magic of the modern home?. .. .Better yet is when you don't even have to be at home to do exactly what you have described, but can achieve it from a car on the freeway, or alternatively you can play a pre-recorded monolog, which much the same effect. .. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Send Clowns
16th Mar 2002, 19:22
Mr Draper . .. .I suppose you could recommend a good installer? as long as we are willing to pay travel expenses from say ... somewhere in Northeast England? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> good sales pitch, dear boy.

Bailed Out
17th Mar 2002, 05:56
Same principle as used on you several times a week via "automated answer systems via your corporate big brothers......

17th Mar 2002, 07:29
What a fantastic idea. My front door opens directly into my living room and with a video camera entry system when I get the dreaded sales person caller, I can walk to the front door knowing that they will see me through the frosted glass. Talk to them politely of course occasionaly look at them through the net curtains and then via the video entry system politely tell them to leave all without directly facing them. The possibilitys seem endless, my mind is buzzing with pranks already. I want one, how much did it cost.. . . . <small>[ 17 March 2002, 02:32: Message edited by: Im Not ]</small>

17th Mar 2002, 08:04
Classic, Drapes <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="smile.gif" /> I laughed for some minutes.

Feeton Terrafirma
17th Mar 2002, 14:52
Baz mate,. .. .you seem to have missunderstood. This is serious business, especially when the Jehovas come calling. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

tony draper
17th Mar 2002, 15:01
One did install a lot of these in banks and such, in keeping with good business practice those particular ones ccost about 600 quid.. .However, the one installed in Draper towers is available at Comet for about 60 quid, it comes with everything necessary for the DIY enthusiast,and even those as cack handed as yer average pruner should be able to instal same without difficulty. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />. . . . <small>[ 17 March 2002, 10:02: Message edited by: tony draper ]</small>

17th Mar 2002, 15:25
Mr Draper . .. .What have you done?. .. .All the door to door point of sale script writers are at this very minute in discussion about how their sales people can deal with this new consumer resistance technique.. .. .All new sales people will be assessed with how they deal with that impossible customer at the new salesman testing zone at Draper Towers.

17th Mar 2002, 16:42
Many years ago, when I first bought a flat in London, I found one that was ideally-priced (i.e., cheap). After putting in an offer and having it accepted, the vendor promptly vanished to Spain (from where he originally hailed).. .. .Soon found out the reason. The flat had been a brothel, and when the Vice Squad became too interested, the owner decided it was time to get out, So he sold it (to me) and vacated the area as fast as his legs would carry him.. .. .For several years, though, former "customers" did not realise that the place had suffered a change of use, and we often had mysterious callers who, when a male voice answered the entryphone, disappeared. We even received a letter addressed to the former occupants, detailing exactly what "services" the author wished to purchase. Having opened it (to send it back) and read the contents, there was no way I was going to return it - it was shown to dinner guests as a conversation piece. I realised that the place had specialised in providing suitable punishment for clients who had been "naughty boys". The letter came from Peterborough, and it was not, unfortunately, clear whether the author expected the young ladies to visit him, or whether he intended to come to London on a HaveItAwayDay.... .. .When the decorators were in, prior to the place being put on the market, they took one look inside what was later to become my bedroom, and downed tools, walking out until all the "hardware" had been removed. Apparently it was painted black from floor to ceiling, with a bar across the room at shoulder height, with thongs and handcuffs fastened to it. Yes, it was the torture chamber.. .. .Anyway - back to the point.. .. .Having become rather tired of the callers who vanished on discovering their needs were not about to be fulfilled, one afternoon I was at home when the bell went. Instead of picking up the entryphone, I went to the front door and opened it. Standing there was a smart city-type - suit, brolly, paper under his arm.. .. ."Yes?" I said.. ."Ummm - er - I wonder if..." he said, looking past me down the hall.. ."I was just - er - I think - ummmm...". .And with that his courage deserted him and he went away without managing to utter a coherent word.. .. .It was not until a few years later that I saw his picture in the paper in a fairly notorious case involving certain sexual practices that I realised who he was - a then-prominent Tory MP.. .As he vanished into the distance, I considered calling after him "Sorry - after a good spanking, were you?" but refrained.. .. .So, entryphones and videophones have their uses - but sometimes it is preferable to answer the door directly, if only to have a good laugh at someone else's expense! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

17th Mar 2002, 16:46
Thanks Mr D, I shall be taking a trip down to said shop Monday. . .Have you found a method of encouraging door to door vermin to call? My concerne now is that I will install it and I won't see one for months.. .PS. do you have Despot in your word book I can't find my dictionay?. . . . <small>[ 17 March 2002, 12:05: Message edited by: Im Not ]</small>

17th Mar 2002, 17:35
Im Not - In my experience, the easiest way to encourage said callers is to work night shifts.. .You'll be astonished at how many of them ring your doorbell when you've been in bed for about 2 hours.. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="mad.gif" />

Shaggy Sheep Driver
18th Mar 2002, 20:02
60 quid, Drapes??? Plus fitting??. .. .I just have a printed notice in the window by the door which reads "If you're selling something or punting religion, sod off".. .. .Or words to that effect ;~). .. .SSD

bubba zanetti
18th Mar 2002, 21:06
Interesting ... where I live we are deluged with door to door "canvassers" selling all sorts of views under the guise of surveys and such.. .. .I do so much love the opportunity to cower the sods though, and that does require a personal touch .... .. .Picture if you will a serene Saturday morning ..... suddenly ... knock knock . .. ."yes ... ". .. ." ahh ... (thrusting a copy of "Awake" in my face) ... er good morning ... er lovely ....". .. ."and what are you selling then ?!". .. ." oh ah ... we are not selling anyth ...". .. ."sure you are, .. and it looks like religion to me ...( grabbing the pulp rag ... ) ". .. ." well no ... ( making a recovery and feeling the spirit within guide him against this disbeliever) ... we were just wondering where you planned to spend eternity? ... er, ... as it were ... ". .. ." Room 317 at the Sheraton Maui please ... (slams door ) ... (opens again) ... actually if you could just give me your home address, I will stop by later - say around dinner time - and discuss my views on eternity with you !?" . .. ." ( running backwards up the walk ) ... good day sir ... sorry to have troubled you .. ". .. ." (follows up walk wearing old torn and blood stained rugby jersey and Everlast boxing shorts with un-matched socks and .... clutching can of Kilkenny ....belches like Pavorotti in the death scene of LaBoheme ...) no no I am serious, I would love to drop by ... save you all the trouble of disturbing my combat flight simulator game and just when I was startin to get it !!! ... WHERE DO YOU BASTARDS LIVE ? ... and do tell your colleagues all about me .... (wheez wheez ... pant pant ... snarl ... )" . .. .I love the personal touch ....

19th Mar 2002, 07:52
Sounds like a great toy I want one, next time the mormons come by a can answer the door wearing only a hat.