View Full Version : How many PPrune Forums members does it take to change a lightbulb?

16th Mar 2002, 12:41
How many PPrune Forums members does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: 422 . .. .1 to change the lightbulb and post it to the board that the bulb has been changed. . .. .14 to respond and share similar experiences. . .. .7 to caution about the dangers of changing lightbulbs. . .. .27 to point out spelling errors and grammatical errors in postings and changing lightbulbs. . .. .53 to flame the spell-checkers. . .. .156 to write to the administrator to complain about the lightbulb discussion and its inappropriateness to the board. . .. .111 to defend the relevance of the lightbulb discussion. . .. .27 to post website addresses where one can see different examples of lightbulbs. . .. .14 to complain that the website addresses are incorrect and post correct ones. . .. .12 to "leave the board forever" because they can't handle the lightbulb controversy.

Mr Ree
16th Mar 2002, 13:02
To put your theory to the test, I'd like to share a similar experience I had with lightbulbs, as line 2 of your theory suggests. We can then see how long it takes before other lines are satisfied before reaching line 6 (the appropriateness theory). Hopfullly suphicient speling misstakes are present to allow others to jump in.. .Why does it take 5 women with PMT to change a lightbulb?. .(shouted) IT JUST DOES OK !!!!!!

16th Mar 2002, 13:53
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

16th Mar 2002, 14:57
Well I changed one of these bulbs once and found it a very enlightening experience.. .. .Let there be light.. .And there was light.. .And you could see for MILES!. .. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

Feeton Terrafirma
16th Mar 2002, 17:29
I wish to point out that it's not appropriate to make fun of the 5 women with PMT. It's called sexual discrimination when you point out that women have issues with trivial maintenance tasks around the home. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

16th Mar 2002, 18:51
Actualy its 423 Chickenhauler. You forgot to mention 1 PPRuNer whod state the relevance of big t!ts and shagging in the changing of lightbulbs.

16th Mar 2002, 18:54
Only one, Slash ?

16th Mar 2002, 18:59
Feets,. .It's more the triviality of the males we have "issues" with. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

16th Mar 2002, 19:39

Charlie Foxtrot India
16th Mar 2002, 19:53
And one more to cut and paste newpaper articles about pilots and lightbulbs.

16th Mar 2002, 23:52
The link to www.lightbulb.com didn't work. However, you might like to try. .. .http://www.lrc.rpi.edu. .. .NN

17th Mar 2002, 00:00
And what about the PPRuNers who want to tell you how it was done on Tridents?. .. .And, Slasher ... it's who'd not whod.. .. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

17th Mar 2002, 01:46
Not to mention the 323 who disagree with the Guvnors view on why the lightbulb failed in the first place.

17th Mar 2002, 01:58
Well, everyone knows many hands make lights work. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />

17th Mar 2002, 04:41
Don't forget;. .. .121 discussing the finer points of the 'Service Advisory' issued by the OEM of the socket manufacturer with regard to the changing of the bulb.. .. .182 arguing the merits of the 'Service Bulletin' and whether non-compliance means that the room can only be used for private purposes.. .. .39 asking if someone has issued an STC for the instalation of a non-genuine/after market bulb.. .. .604 protesting that the authorities may plan to issue an AD on the bulb.

17th Mar 2002, 09:49
I particularly like the "Darkroom Lightbulb".. .. .Turn it on and it absorbs all the light in the room.. .. .Don't point it at the sun.

17th Mar 2002, 13:26
And how many male ppruners does it take to change a lightbulb?. .. .One to screw it in, and all the rest to listen to him brag about the screwing part. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

17th Mar 2002, 13:30
Ahh, who the heck needs lightbulbs anyway, the computer screen lights the room to a nice, eerie kinda glow. "Did something just move behind me?". .. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

17th Mar 2002, 13:35
"We heard you changed THAT lightbulb Slash!". .. ."Sure did guys!". .. ."Well? You gonna tell your mates or not?". .. ."Man it was fantastic! I held that firm pouting 160-watter in my hands and it realy squealed when I started suckin it!". .. ."Oooh! Keep goin! Keep goin!". .. ."Anyway I couldnt control myself and you shouldve been there as I slid that gorgeus little honey slowley into the socket.". .. ."Jesus I could just imagine with THAT bulb!". .. .And man you should have seen it gush all that light over the bed I when I turned the switch on!". .. ."God your a luckey [email protected]! Any chance youd put in a good word for us?". . . . <small>[ 17 March 2002, 09:43: Message edited by: Slasher ]</small>

TAF Oscar
17th Mar 2002, 13:41
...and 209 to complain that they preferred the old bulb, it lit up faster and they can't find the Search function with the new one...

Tartan Gannet
17th Mar 2002, 14:23
Of course you assume that one is simply permitted to change the light bulb, But wait! What about the Sacred Law of Traceability?????. .. .You fault-find the room and indeed discover that the light bulb is open circuit. There is no problem with the electricity supply to said light bulb,no damage to the switch, socket or wiring, lampshade etc. A plentiful and cheap supply of generic lightbulbs is easily and quickly obtainable from a local well know stockholder and supplier which is made to the high standard required and at a resonable price. NO! This is NOT permitted! You can only install a light bulb supplied from overseas by a subsidiary company at a higher cost and with a long lead time. Of course your component stores are out of stock when you requisition the light bulb. Result, the room remains in darkness for weeks, and unusable for meetings until the stock of the approved lightbulb is shipped. Note, this is an ordinary tungsten filament lightbulb, 240v 60W bayonet clip fitting in the UK (or 110v Eddison Screw if in the USA), NOT some special lamp with esoteric light output for specialised usage, nor does it have any safety implications in its operation.. .. .Does this little analogy seem familar to anyone?. . . . <small>[ 17 March 2002, 10:27: Message edited by: tartan gannet ]</small>

17th Mar 2002, 20:02
tg, . .Your query is inappropriate and I have registered a complaint with the administrator.

17th Mar 2002, 20:10
Not forgetting the 1567 members who get annoyed because it was a Ryanair lightbulb......... . . . <small>[ 17 March 2002, 16:12: Message edited by: Chocksaway ]</small>

17th Mar 2002, 20:23
And then there's the 986 who get angry about the way the journalists reported the changing of the lightbulb........

17th Mar 2002, 20:35
...have we compared anyone to Hitler yet...?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

tony draper
17th Mar 2002, 21:02
We invented the light bulb up here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />

Bev Bevan
17th Mar 2002, 23:01
How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a light bulb?. .None! COOK IN THE DARK, BITCH!!!!

Tartan Gannet
18th Mar 2002, 03:09
True Tony, Swan has as much claim to the invention of the Light Bulb as Edison

18th Mar 2002, 03:30
Who owns the patent? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="rolleyes.gif" />

18th Mar 2002, 03:42
copy of letter sent to Administrators. .. .Dear Sirs,. .. .I am writing to complain about the inappropriateness of the thread 'How many PPrune Forums members does it take to change a lightbulb. Whilst I realise this has not yet incorporated religion or politics, it can only be a matter of time. . .. .I have to point out that there have been a couple of sneaky references to s*x. . .. .I fail to see where a post of this kind has any connection with aviation. . .. .I'm also concerned with the effect this might have on those who are of more tender years and shouldn't be exposed to this kind of humour. They may be given the impression that pilots are not serious people. Are you sure you want to encourage that view.. .. .Yours. .A Concerned Reader

18th Mar 2002, 03:56
How many artists does it take to change a lightbulb.. .. .They don't change them, they charge others to come along and change them as part of an art exhibit

Travelling Toolbox
18th Mar 2002, 08:32
You all forgot the 13 Ppruners who said:. .. .WHAT FERKIN LIGHTBULB? WE GOT LIGHTBULBS? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

18th Mar 2002, 10:49
Velvet, I have referred this thread to the administration forum, and emailed Danny to add "lightbulb" to the PPRuNe censor monitor. He may also add discussions on artificial light sources to the JB inadmissable list at the head of the forum.

18th Mar 2002, 11:38
Slasher. .. .You didn't wear a condom, did you?

18th Mar 2002, 12:13
and the figure is bound to go higher as all the flight engineers die off.. .always look after your flight engineer.if you come down in the desert,you can eat him. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />

18th Mar 2002, 12:16
PP of course not!

18th Mar 2002, 13:03
Velvet,. .. ."I'm also concerned with the effect this might have on those who are of more tender years and shouldn't be exposed to this kind of humour".. .. .Surely we're safe here? Even hotel foyers have light bulbs that need changing! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

18th Mar 2002, 13:12
500. One to change the bulb and 490 to blame its failure on Tony Blair. Oh yes, and the 9 PPRuNe liberal-so-called-intellectual wimps to blame it on the previous Tory Government.. .. .Me, I blame the Pope, the Chief Rabbi and the Ayatollah. . .. .There, that's got religion in as well. Can't separate that from shedding light, can we, your Pruneship?

18th Mar 2002, 13:20
And angels to tell fellow ppruners that my pal has installed a lightbulb in his shed in St. Albans....

Constable Clipcock
18th Mar 2002, 13:27
Good as Slasher's account was, please count me out.. .. .You see, I LIKE the dark!

Biggles Flies Undone
18th Mar 2002, 14:13
Due to the almost impossible task of policing these forums I have decided that there will be no more bayonet or screw-fitting lightbulbs discussed on the website. You may consider this decision despotic and you may be right but then who gave you a vote? All current threads that I consider to be concerned with the erotic aspects of lightbulb culture will be closed and any new ones will be dealt with accordingly. Anyone objecting to this decision can make their complaints in writing to [email protected] Replies may or may not be forthcoming, depending on my workload or mood. Being a despot has its rewards. Hey! Who just turned the light off?

Vick Van Guard
18th Mar 2002, 15:51
Light bulbs or 'filaments', as us engineers refer to them are an incredibly fragile and sensitive component.. . . .The changing process can be extremely hazardous. It should only be attempted by a suitably Licensed and duly authorised person with due regard to the following; . .. .He / she must have access to all the up-to-date instructions including Company Procedures, manuals, drawings, specifications, mandatory modifications / inspections relating to both the filament and the installation. . .. .Recommended tooling and test equipment should be available and should be currently calibrated. . .. .The filament should only be changed in an environment appropriate to the task. . .. .Only when the engineer is satisfied that the work has been properly carried out and recorded can the light be considered fit for further service.. .. .I hope this clarifies the situation. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

Grim Reaper 14
18th Mar 2002, 16:39
I'm thinking about getting a new lightbulb in America or South Africa, can you tell me what exams I need to pass first..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />

18th Mar 2002, 16:47
Don't forget the electrician to point out that they are correctly known as lamps as bulbs grow in the ground.

Greg Baddeley
18th Mar 2002, 17:26
We haven't included sheep yet...............

Big Tudor
18th Mar 2002, 17:44
I notice the obligatory "It was invented by a Geordie." quote from herr draper has appeared.. .. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

The Nr Fairy
18th Mar 2002, 18:25
Not quite obligatory, it would seem.. .. .He's not claimed Geordies started the whole goat-shagging thing.

18th Mar 2002, 19:52
Merits of screw-fit versus bayonet-fit lightbulbs?

18th Mar 2002, 23:42
I have a torch which I keep in the car. It requires regular replacement of batteries (as torches do) but this week it also needed the bulb/globe/light source/filament/lamp replacing as well. When I attempted to do this, I noticed that it was neither a bayonet nor a screw-fit but was simply held in place by a sort of metal base-plate. I would like to ask the following questions of any PPRuNers experienced in this field:-. .. .What qualifications do I need to change this bulb?. .. .Should I take it to a specialist?. .. .Should I just buy another torch with a more conventional fitting?. .. .Your assistance please.. .. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

18th Mar 2002, 23:45
Grim Reaper 14 - In South Africa you need a permit for a .357 Magnum. Moved to a new house in November with electricity supply on open copper cable (on posts!) along the edge of the road. Local no-goods decided this was a business venture not to be missed, and would arrive at 3am armed with hacksaw blade taped to a length of bamboo. They would patiently stand under said (live) overhead cable and remove 30 metres at a time, to be sold for scrap (going rate about $1 US/metre). Between beginning of November and early January, cable was nicked 16 times! On one occasion they came back three mornings on the trot! Municipality NOT amused. Neither was I - am very grumpy without caffeine fix in the morning. Finally the poleeze apprehended villains (real OK Corral stuff complete with the thump of shotguns, AK's and 357 magnums - miscellaneous screams for mercy etc). I slept through it all - and now have coffee without problems every morning ...

19th Mar 2002, 00:21
How to change a light bulb if you are an employee of the United States Government.. .I walked into my office one morning, sat down at my desk and attempted to switch on the reading lamp on my desk. Nothing happened. "Ah ha," I say to myself "bulb is burned out." So I leave my office and go down the hall to where the Flight Operations secretary is located. Following is semi-accurate account of what occurred.. .. ."Brenda, who do I see about changing a light bulb in my office?" I ask wittily, with a big smile on my face. She was very pretty with a great figure. She was sent home once because she was showing too much cleavage. We pilots didn't care, we figured it was some of the ugly women in the office that were jealous. . .. ."Go see building maintenance." She replies and starts giggling. . .. ."OK" I reply, leave to find where building maintenance is located. Trying to figure out what Brenda thinks is funny, check zipper. Nope, not that.. .. .After a two hour search I find building maintenance in the basement of hangar. Hell, didn't even know we had a basement. Sign on door says "Knock on door before entering." So I knock, nothing happens, knock again, nothing happens. I try the door, door locked. Ok I figure, they must be out doing whatever building maintenance people do. I turn around to leave and I hear the door opening. . .. ."Whatdya want?" I hear a voice ask. So I turn back around to see if I can find a face to go with the voice. I find the face under a very dirty baseball cap staring at me very suspiciously through small beady eyes.. .. ."Hi there," I say with my best smile, "I'm (Name), one of the pilots from the third floor and I need a light bulb for my reading lamp on my desk.". .. ."What for?" he snarls back with a menacing look on his face.. .. ."Huh, the bulb is out and I would like to replace it, please." I figured the please couldn't hurt, still have big smile on my face.. .. ."Well ya can't put in yourself." . .. ."Ok, huh, why not, I change them at home all the time." My smile not so big now.. .. ."Union.". .. ."Union?" Smile replaced by puzzled look.. .. ."Union." He replies again.. .. ."Union you say?" Well two can play at this game.. .. ."Union rules." Now he closes his mouth very tightly.. .. ."Union rules you say?" I guess the game is still going on, trying very hard to keep a smile on my face.. .. ."Yup, Union rules." He snarls back.. .. .Ok, at this point I figure somebody has got to give in and I figure it might as well be me. "Ok, can you please explain to me the rules?". .. ."Only members of the union can do any type maintenance on this here building." He pauses. "That includes the removal and or replacing on any light fixture or part of any lighting fixture in this here building, including light bulbs.". .. ."OK." I reply brightly, glad to get that over. "I am here to inform you that the light bulb in my reading lamp on my desk is burned out and am respectfully requesting that you replace it, please.". .. ."Can't do it." He replies.. .. ."Why not?" Seemed like a fair question.. .. ."Not my job, ya gotta wait for Harry.". .. ."Ok," I sigh "Where is Harry?". .. ."He ain't here.". .. ."Ok, when will Harry be here?" Getting disparate now.. .. ."Don't know.". .. ."Where is Harry?" Seemed like another good question.. .. ."Bathroom.". .. ."Fine, I'll just wait then. If that is ok with you?" I start to move toward the door.. .. ."Hey, ya can't wait in here." He says and starts to close the door. "Union". .. ."Rules." I finish for him.. .. ."Hard hat area, ya ain't got one.". .. .Pointing out that I didn't think that baseball caps qualified as hard hats did not seem to be a very good idea at this stage of our negotiations. I mean we were getting along so well. So I lean against the wall in the hallway to wait for Harry, can't be that long. My newfound friend glares at me for a few seconds then slams and locks the door.. .. .About an hour latter I see this tall incredibly skinny guy slowly walking down the hall towards me. As he gets closer I can see a nametag on his shirt that says 'Harry". Under the mandatory baseball cap I see that he has a very serious twitch around his right eye.. .. ."Hi there Harry, I'm (Name) from the third floor and I need a light bulb changed." Big bright smile, put my hand out to shake hands.. .. ."One of them pilots ain't ya." Stares at my hand. . .. ."Well yes I am, but I still need the light bulb changed and your buddy in there told me you were the man." I say as I sheepishly drop my hand back along my side.. .. ."He ain't no buddy of mine." He replies back with a blank stare.. .. ."Ok, sorry. But I really need to have the light bulb for my reading lamp in my office changed." Getting a little mad now, but trying not to show it.. .. ."Got the forms filled out?" He asked.. .. ."Forms! What forms? I just need one lousy light bulb changed!" I'm not shouting, but getting close.. .. ."Hey, don't cop an attitude with me mister, I got to follow the rules like everybody else." His eyelid is really twitching now.. .. ."Ok, sorry, I really am sorry. Didn't mean to be rude. It's been a very long morning. Where can I get the proper forms?" I'm trying very hard to keep my composure.. .. ."Ya gotta ask for em.". .. ."Alright, who do I ask?" I already knew the answer to this one.. .. ."Me." Came the snappy reply.. .. ."Ok," I sigh "Would you please get me the proper forms, please?". .. ."I guess." He says as he walks past me to the building maintenance door. He pulls out a key ring that has about a hundred keys on it and unlocks the door and disappears inside.. .. .About thirty minutes later the door opens back up and he looks out and sees me still standing there. Looking disgusted because I was still there he closes the door again. About five minutes later he opens the door just wide enough to look at me with one eye and hands me three pages of forms.. .. ."Fill out these here forms and make five copies of them. You keep one set and bring me back the other four. And make sure you sign them!" He instructs, then adds. "Don't leave no spaces blank or ya gotta do em all over again.". .. ."Well thank you very much." I gush. "I'll get right on these. How long will it take to get the bulb changed after I return the forms?". .. ."Two, three weeks if ya filled em out right. Longer if ya screw em up.". .. ."I'll get started on these right away, get them back to you as soon as possible. Bye now." I conclude as he slams the door shut half way through my reply.. .. .I go back up to my office and put the forms on my desk. Then I call Brenda and tell her that I will be out of the office for about thirty minutes. I left the hangar went to a store, bought a light bulb cane back to the office, changed the damn bulb and threw the forms into the trash.. .. .So the answer is just one U.S. Government employee, it just takes a while.. .. .[This message has been edited by con-pilot (edited 26 June 2001).]

19th Mar 2002, 00:38
Just checked my licence, and can't find the lightbulb changing ratings and renewals page anywhere. And if we're down route with no maintainers (approved) nearby can we just ADD it and stick an INOP sticker next to it? Best refer to the MEL I suppose. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="confused.gif" />

Gash Handlin
19th Mar 2002, 01:59
Does the 422 include the replies to the question when it appearred about a month or two ago and the inevitable link that the next reply to this topic is going to include now that I've mentioned it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

19th Mar 2002, 10:03
"I'll have a 60W lightlamp, please". .. ."A WHAT?"

19th Mar 2002, 11:54
Due to the coriolis effect, is it true that you unscrew the failed bulb anti-clockwise in the northern hemisphere, and clockwise in the southern hemisphere?. . . . <small>[ 19 March 2002, 07:54: Message edited by: chippy63 ]</small>

Tricky Woo
19th Mar 2002, 12:17
Yeah, but there's a place on the equator where they simply slide straight in.. .. .And then slides straight out.. .. .Lot's of broken light bulbs under light fittings onn the equator.. .. .TW

Tartan Gannet
20th Mar 2002, 03:26
Hence the use of the good old British Bayonet Clip fitting, Tricky!

20th Mar 2002, 10:19
as I was able to report to Colonel Draper this week,the equator is a menagerie lion running round the earth.. .I know this because I have been here for weeks.... .. .flies,the damned flies. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />

20th Mar 2002, 15:44
Excuse my ignorance (Im new here), but what exactly is a lightbulb?

tony draper
20th Mar 2002, 16:01
A short section of that equator could make a big difference to our climate Captin fantom, take a shovel and do a Elgin Marbles job on it.. .About five miles of it will cover my town and will be sufficiently short for you to carry off,and the natives will never notice it missing and will also mean we can exclude Sunderland in our new climatic condidtion. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />. . . . <small>[ 20 March 2002, 12:02: Message edited by: tony draper ]</small>

20th Mar 2002, 19:42
Bigmouth, . .would you please refer to the wannabe's lightbulb forum and not to waste the precious time of professional lightbulbchangers here !?! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="tongue.gif" />

21st Mar 2002, 00:42
How many MI6 people does it take to change a lightbulb. .. .If I tell you, I'd have to kill you