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The Nr Fairy
14th Mar 2002, 16:36
I've heard of the metaphorical "pulling a goat", but ACTUALLY doing it ?. .. .Taken from today's Telegraph.. .. .--------------------. .Judge despairs of sex offender. .. .A JUDGE expressed his doubts yesterday that any sex offenders' programme could help a man seen having intercourse with a goat.. .. .Stephen Hall, 23, of Hull, East Yorks, had committed an "abhorrent" act and clearly needed help, Chris Dunn, defending, told Hull Crown Court.. .. .Adjourning sentence, Judge Michael Mettyear said: "I have to tell you I am very sceptical that there is any programme devised at the moment that will help him."

Justforkix
14th Mar 2002, 17:24
Also gives a new meaning to the phrase pulling a rabbit out of the hat <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />. . . . <small>[ 14 March 2002, 13:25: Message edited by: Justforkix ]</small>

msmolski
14th Mar 2002, 17:29
Geez, that guy must have been desperate!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

Big Tudor
14th Mar 2002, 17:29
"And you are getting on my goat." Fnarr fnarr

G SXTY
14th Mar 2002, 17:33
Was it a randy old goat?

RW-1
14th Mar 2002, 17:34
He went out one day and goat some for himself ...

Greg Baddeley
14th Mar 2002, 17:45
"Looks cold outside - think I'll slip my goat on!". . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

G SXTY
14th Mar 2002, 17:56
Will you goat to bed with me?

captainowie
15th Mar 2002, 02:06
He actually needs glasses. He thought it was a sheep!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

G.Khan
15th Mar 2002, 02:43
Did the goat receive counselling afterwards?

Capt Wannabe
15th Mar 2002, 02:48
According to Sky News Active yesterday, the 'Nanny obviously suffered some distress'. .. .The funny thing was that he was seen by a train full of people when the train stopped for a signal. Many phoned the police on mobile phones!

HugMonster
15th Mar 2002, 02:52
How "horny" was the goat? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

HugMonster
15th Mar 2002, 02:57
After reflection, one question comes to mind.... .. .Slasher? Where are you right now? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="confused.gif" />

Gunner B12
15th Mar 2002, 05:33
We had a case in Perth some years ago where a Police Officer was done for having indecent dealings with a dog!!!!. .. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

cabair16
15th Mar 2002, 05:59
The last time I had any dealings with a goat..I had to sleep in the wet patch

Eric
15th Mar 2002, 06:34
DA, that's an extra £50 in Wales! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

Slasher
15th Mar 2002, 06:51
Well it takes 2 to tango so I dont see why the bloodey goat gets off scott-free. Mustve had a damn good lawyer. And I think Mr Hall has been really goat-f**ked by the whole legal process!. . . . <small>[ 15 March 2002, 02:53: Message edited by: Slasher ]</small>

Windy Militant
15th Mar 2002, 12:49
Heard on the radio that the police sent an officer round to interview the goat! The Bobby said something on the lines of "The animal did not seem to be unduly distressed, but then it's hard to tell with goats" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

Feeton Terrafirma
15th Mar 2002, 15:06
"but then it's hard to tell with goats". .. .So the officer has had some experience with goats then?

sprocket
15th Mar 2002, 23:49
..... I suspect he may have been acting the goat!

somewhatconcerned
15th Mar 2002, 23:51
At least he picked the good looking goat. Nothing more embarrasing than being seen by your mates with a minger.

Kalium Chloride
16th Mar 2002, 00:08
Sounds like he's a scape-goat <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

sanjosebaz
16th Mar 2002, 00:43
I've just been sent a scan of the Sun article. Seems the guy was a chef.... Maybe he was just trying to skewer the goat?

pigboat
16th Mar 2002, 01:12
A chef! Christ, wonder how he makes do-nuts. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

Spiggit
16th Mar 2002, 03:49
Its the Kids I feel sorry for.... .. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

gravity victim
16th Mar 2002, 04:18
I believe that they're not a bad shag, but it's a long way round to kiss 'em. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

G.Khan
16th Mar 2002, 05:35
I hear that it is only marginally more embarrassing being caught getting out of the back of a goat than it is being caught getting out of the back of a Skoda!

cabair16
16th Mar 2002, 16:47
I don't know which I prefer, my goats shaved, or "au natural"

hannibal
16th Mar 2002, 16:48
I just hope they practised safe sex

Dale Harris
16th Mar 2002, 18:18
Well, reminds me of two jokes I know, "Just one goat" is one, and "Of course it was female, what do you think I am, Queer?"

ORAC
16th Mar 2002, 21:01
Take your goat and raise you a horse!!. .. .Register News Services:. .Torrance.. .. .A man who pleaded no contest to sexually assaulting a horse in Rolling Hills Estates was sentenced to 20 days in jail.. .. .Superior Court Judge Laura C. Ellison sentenced Keven Lee Bryant, 34, on the misdemeanor charge charge Thursday and gave him 19 days credit for time already served. But Bryant won't be released because of pending cocaine charges in another case.. .. .In exchange for his no-contest plea to the assault charge, prosecutors dropped another assault count as well as public intoxification and disorderly-conduct charges. Bryant was ordered to undergo drug, alcohol and sex counselling and to stay away from animals.. .. .Bryant was spotted Feb 9 in a stable in the back yard of a home on Rolling Hill Road. He ran away, but was spotted again in another barn assaulting a 4 year old filly.

Sunland
17th Mar 2002, 04:57
Don't you just hate it when you catch your co-pilot in the sack with your goat.

ImNot
17th Mar 2002, 05:07
Goats are so passe' .Lamas, now there's a challenge.

JIM JAM
17th Mar 2002, 17:51
Reminds me of a landing on 26L(lgw) when when the isobars resembled a zebra's behind....managed to get it in but wasnt proud of it!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

NearlyStol
17th Mar 2002, 22:11
I understand he used a belt around the goats neck to hold on with. Should have found one with horns. You would be surprised how much easier it is :- much like riding a bike so I am told.

pigboat
17th Mar 2002, 23:52
At least with the horse, you'd have a ride home after yer finished. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

BRL
18th Mar 2002, 03:59
I just love the way in all the papers here in the uk have printed a picture of a goat but with a big black bar across the goats eyes....!!!To protect its identity..!!! Also the Sunday sport ran a big interview with the bloke and in it it says the goat cannot be named for legal reasons.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

OldAg84
18th Mar 2002, 18:54
Should the thread be retitled, "Ever pushed a goat?". .. .I dunno. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Big Tudor
18th Mar 2002, 20:27
Seem to remember a tale a few years ago about a bloke caught shagging cows (bovines not mingers). Police discovered he always took his motorcycle with him on such quests as he needed to stand on his crash helmet to reach. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

The Nr Fairy
18th Mar 2002, 20:35
Told my dad this story over the weekend. He was a psychiatric nurse, and told me that he met a patient while he was training who was undergoing treatment for bestial urges.. .. .Apparently this guy had gone the whole range from chickens to cows, and had to stand on a stool to reach the cows !

Grim Reaper 14
18th Mar 2002, 20:37
Difficult not to stand on a 'stool' while behind a cow... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="rolleyes.gif" />

sanjosebaz
18th Mar 2002, 22:29
I tripped once, while running through a field. I was lucky though - I fell between two stools. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

RW-1
18th Mar 2002, 23:51
Wow, if people saw him and the goat, now it's Porn ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> . .. .Hey, someone tell me, is it true that shagging a goat at the edge of a cliff is more enjoyable because they push back harder? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="rolleyes.gif" />

compressor stall
19th Mar 2002, 03:59
And the one in Adelaide some years ago where a man was arrested in a zoo with a Kangaroo... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />

sprocket
19th Mar 2002, 12:38
Yeah Stallie, you need plenty of room with them critters! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> . .. .Scene in court: ……. . .. .Accused: “But your Honour, I was just mindin’ me own business ‘avin’ a pee when this bloody goat walked backwards out of the bushes slap bang into me! I tried to shake it off me but it just kept pushin’ backwards your Honour!”. .Judge: “Hmmmmm, I see. How do you account for your belt around the victims’ neck?”. .Accused: “Well, you see, as the goat was pushing me backwards I looked behind me and saw a broken tree branch, but it was just out my reach so I quickly took my belt off and tried to hook the branch with it so that I could lift meself up out of the way. Instead of hooking the branch your Honour, I lost me balance and fell forward and the belt just went slap bang over the bloody animals ‘ead and me finger got jammed in the feckin’ buckle, your Honour. I was pulling on the buckle to free it your Honour and that was just when a trainload of people stopped; I thought to help me, in my most terrifyin’plight! ..... ”

Dale Harris
19th Mar 2002, 13:44
That story is just a little too slick to be made up on the spot, sprocket! You sure you haven't had cause to use it before? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

sprocket
19th Mar 2002, 15:02
I was waiting for that! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="redface.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

ShyTorque
19th Mar 2002, 23:42
Bloke should have told them it was a mounting goat, I'm sure that would have been a fair excuse.. .. .Was it him who was later quoted as admitting to homosexual tendencies towards goats and said: "I hate this Nanny state. It's time they brought a Bill out". .. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />