View Full Version : Things NOT to attempt....

3rd Aug 2001, 07:56
...on your own if you're a sane adult while schools are on holiday:-

1) Go to MacDonald's
2) Go to the Cinema
3) Go shopping
4) Leave your car outside

Any more suggestions?

Tartan Gannet
3rd Aug 2001, 10:10
Walking across some open paved space in towns as teenaged scrotes on skateboards whizz past you , sometimes bump into you and do those ridiculous manouvers.

While in Paisley, Scotland a few weeks ago with my elderly father we were walking in that town when some of this pond life came past at high speed, oblivious as to the safety and welfare of pedestrians. Imagine my joy when returning on the same route I saw this idiot come off his skateboard at high speed, hit the deck and, by the howls he was giving I think he broke some bone or other, hopefully his wrist thus wrecking his sex-life as well. We walked on by and left the **** to suffer. :mad:

3rd Aug 2001, 12:51
Avoid going out all together. I was walking along the street the other day when around the corner came a gaggle of 11-15 year old ten tonne Tessies with wet look perms and [email protected] loads of make-up.

Instinctually I crossed the road as a result of my petrification, but I didn't manage to escape. Until they were out of sight I could hear the screams of laughter and shouts of 'OI, 'ERE, YOU. WE LOVE YOU. YOU'RE GORGEOUS YOU ARE. WILL YOU 'AVE MY BABIES?'

My, my, what is the world coming to?!!

Rallye Driver
3rd Aug 2001, 16:33
To try and run London Underground safely, efficiently and for the benefit of the millions who have to use it day in day out. It's against Government (Gordon Brown's) policy.


To plan for your retirement by taking out a pension plan with Inequitable Life.

Wot? Me bitter and twisted! :mad: :mad:


Brit Abroad
3rd Aug 2001, 18:39
5) Go to the swimming pool.

itchy kitchin
3rd Aug 2001, 18:59
Tying your shoelace in a revolving door?