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View Full Version : Warning lables - do they get much more stupid?


bcfc
2nd Aug 2001, 19:38
Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly.
— Batman costume warning label, Wal-Mart, 1995. :rolleyes:

Any others?

golden_hands
3rd Aug 2001, 03:42
Silly American system: Do something really stupid and blame others for your stupidity. Result huge insurance_costs and many are afraid to take a decision! Well eh let me see, oh it's not in the book, sorry can't help you.

1988 Dallas, at a mall.
Hi can I have a ham sandwich?
I'm sorry we don't sell ham sandwiches.
Eh, but you sell ham-cheese sandwiches?
Yes we do.
So you have sandwiches and ham!
Yes.
Well then, I would like to have a ham sandwich.
I can't make one because I don't know how much you would have to pay.
Heck I don't care I'll pay the same price!
I could not do that sir because you would pay too much then.
Ok sell me a ham-cheese sandwich please
Right sir, that would be 2 dollar 95.
Ok here is 3 dollar, keep the change. Oh and here is your cheese back also.

BlueDiamond
3rd Aug 2001, 04:57
How about the cautionary statement on my mother's sleeping tablets ... "Warning, this medication may cause drowsiness."

:confused: :confused: :confused:

gandelf
3rd Aug 2001, 19:18
On a packet of peanuts
- "May contain nuts"

Brit Abroad
3rd Aug 2001, 19:35
On McDonald's coffee cup:

"Warning - contents is hot"


In fact McDonalds were forced into putting the above message on their cups after an American woman bought a coffee from a drive-thru, placed it between her legs and drove off. The cup tipped over and the hot coffee burnt her legs.

She sued McDonalds for serving hot coffee.

She won......... :rolleyes:

Axerock
3rd Aug 2001, 19:55
When my daughter was 6 months old and starting to get teeth, I bought some baby pain killer to get rid of her pain. The label contained the warning - "May cause drowsiness. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery"

Springbokkie
3rd Aug 2001, 20:01
... and then on the underneath side of a pudding... "Warning: Do not turn upside down!

... on one of our medications for nausea... Side effects: Nausea ...

LITOW
3rd Aug 2001, 20:05
How about - this appliance is for the heating or cooking of food. It is not suitable for drying animals

A warning found on microwave ovens after a housewife used hers to dry out her pet poodle, then sued the manufacturers because the animal died.

Squawk 8888
3rd Aug 2001, 22:42
On a bottle of Tylenol under symptoms of overdose they included "insensitivity to pain". Does that mean that if it's working, you've OD'd? :confused:

I like the Microsoft ad that shows a worket sitting at his desk, zooming across the desert. On the bottom of the screen, in near-invisible type, is the disclaimer "Stunt worker. Do not attempt" :D

Avoiding Action
3rd Aug 2001, 22:52
At university loads of bottles containing nasty chemical stuff had the following as part of the warning,

"...if product comes into contact with eyes, wash eyes immediately with copious amounts of water and seek medical advice..."

Also used to have to purchase bottles of distilled, purified water from the same manufacturer and, you've guessed it,to cover themselves on the side of the bottle they put

"...if product comes into contact with eyes, wash eyes immediately with copious amounts of water and seek medical advice..." :rolleyes:

[ 03 August 2001: Message edited by: Avoiding Action ]

kabz
4th Aug 2001, 02:05
On a hyundai ad over here in the states that featured a car floating about underwater:

"Warning -- Do not drive underwater."

ShyTorque
4th Aug 2001, 04:23
Gandelf,

I think I saw that warning on United Airlines peanuts.

It also said "Serving instructions:

1. Open bag 2. Eat nuts.

Anyone not got that?

Eric
4th Aug 2001, 06:34
Gandelf,

I was severely shot down about this once...the peanut apparantly is NOT a nut! but as they are so physically alike, they sometimes get included in nut processes. Hence the warning!

I can't remember exactly what happened (I was very, very drunk at the time!), but if you want to know, here's the link!
http://www.clinmed.gla.ac.uk/~emk1m/Peanut_Allergy.htm

[ 04 August 2001: Message edited by: Eric ]

Doctor Cruces
4th Aug 2001, 10:35
Maybe not silly, but alarming.

'...contraindications to this medication.............etc etc... DEATH.' You gotta be kidding me. The frightening thing is it's on some of MY medication!!!!!

Doc C.

henry crun
4th Aug 2001, 13:35
Some years ago the makers of an anti flu/cold tablet trumpeted the fact that it was used by American astronauts.
On the packet in small print was the caution "do not drive a car after taking this medication"

Eagle18th
4th Aug 2001, 14:14
In a similar vein to the McDonalds coffee...
Whilst travelling in the U.S. a few years ago I bought a plastic mug with a lid designed to keep drinks hot and avoid spillage when driving/flying etc.
The manufacturers believe you will instantly forget what drink you have just put in the cup, as there is a warning on the bottom "Caution, contents may be hot".

Feeton Terrafirma
4th Aug 2001, 16:23
Someone sued McDonalds for serving HOT coofee? Of course that would be thown out of court, it's NEVER happened! :)

Gash Handlin
4th Aug 2001, 17:48
My favourite from last time this thread ran was the warning on the side of the chainsaw box "CAUTION: Do not attempt to stop moving chain with hands or genitals" :eek:

Gotta be an urban legend but if it's true there has to be a fantastic story behind the reason for the warning

staaf
4th Aug 2001, 19:01
" ==> Increase thrust" placard near 737-800 thrust levers :rolleyes:

Squawk 8888
4th Aug 2001, 19:04
"EXIT/SORTIE" above the doors of a C172.

FlyingForFun
6th Aug 2001, 00:41
From The Simpson's. Bart has a toy Krusty the Klown - one of those ones where you pull a string, and the clown says something.

Two quotes from the toy clown:

"I love you. (In a platonic sense.)"

And my favourite:

"I'll never leave you. (Not a guarantee.)"

FFF
-----------

BahrainLad
6th Aug 2001, 10:30
Brilliant stuff.

More from the Simpsons'

Krusty the Klown is trying to sell his burgers.

"Hey Hey Hey Kids! For each burger you buy we'll give you a check for one million dollars!!!!!!!
(Check's will not be honoured)".

ROTFL

Evo7
6th Aug 2001, 12:44
Two I've seen recently:

Not for human consumption - on a bunch of supermarket flowers

Do not use if you are taking the contraceptive pill - on the small print for Calpol (infant paracetamol). That one also tells you not to go and operate heavy machinery and not to drink after taking it.

widgeon
6th Aug 2001, 22:03
we have received some equipment that had large inflated plastic bags as filler. Each bag has a warning , "do not use as flotation device" . Love the one on the iron as well " remove clothes before using"

Top Loadie
7th Aug 2001, 02:48
Here's a couple...

Gillette Underarm Deodorant Stick
-Instructions-
1.Break safety seal
2.Remove cap
3.Push up bottom
:eek:
(Is this product aimed at gay stewards and certain "game" hosties?)

Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney Pudding (Cook in the can)
-Instructions-
1.Pierce can
2.Stand in boiling water
:eek:

tony draper
7th Aug 2001, 03:08
What about ears pierced while you wait.

dingducky
7th Aug 2001, 03:19
tell me that this isn't true! :rolleyes:

In France, a woman who was scalded by boiling water is suing the manufacturer of her electric kettle. She says the kettle does not have a warning label saying it can make water hot. The case will be in court next month.

Kaptin M
7th Aug 2001, 03:21
Sorry no time Mr D, can I drop them off now, then pick them up in about an hour's time.

Hmmm, here's one that seems a little - shall we say "testing", of PPRuNe contributor IQ......thanks, Danny!

"As this is a very busy forum please limit new topics to items of news or rumour related to public air transport. If you have a specific question then please use either the Questions Forum or the Terms & Endearment Forum for pay or conditions in specific airlines. For Technical issues please use the Tech Log Forum. Etc. etc."

Throtlemonkey
7th Aug 2001, 15:27
The best warning label I have seen was a bumper sticker in the shape of a dangerous goods label with a flame and the words "Think For Yourself".

ShyTorque
7th Aug 2001, 23:58
On the hairdryer in a hotel I stayed at in the USA:

"Do not use in the shower".

Why the **** would any one want to do that? A little futile as well as highly dangerous methinks? :rolleyes:
------------------
Another one on a large firework rocket I bought:

"Caution - do not use indoors".

Yeh, right, thanks for warning me about that one.

[ 07 August 2001: Message edited by: ShyTorque ]

lock it in Eddie
8th Aug 2001, 05:42
From The Simpsons again-

There's a Candy store at a candy fair, one selling Gummy Bears, the advertisement states:

Gummy Bears, they hibernate in your colon :D

Craig Pollard
8th Aug 2001, 08:38
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". :eek: :eek: :D

BayAreaLondoner
8th Aug 2001, 09:17
On my wife's hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping"

fireflybob
8th Aug 2001, 21:03
I bought a water melon at the local supermarket recently and noticed the caption on the label:-

"Ready to eat"!

[ 08 August 2001: Message edited by: fireflybob ]

tony draper
8th Aug 2001, 21:38
Written on the side of the aim9M, Hang with pointy end to the front. ;)


I read that the early Sabre Jets with the fist ejector seats had a list of instructions for ejecting written on a plaque on the canopy, instruction number one being, jetison canopy. ;)

[ 08 August 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

flex won
8th Aug 2001, 21:46
On the instructions for a tabletop 'feng shui' fountain:

'Do not operate under a pillow or quilt'

??????????????

aidybennett
9th Aug 2001, 15:54
On the packet of non-drowsy anti-histimes I got after my arm balooned spectacually due to something trying to eat it. "May cause drowsiness."
"May cause an alergic reaction" :confused:

But by the open door of the aircraft I fly out if whcih parachutist through themselves " Warning-Sudden Drop Ahead" and "Caution-Deep Air!" :D

Foyl
9th Aug 2001, 16:04
Warning a friend found on a packet of pork rinds in the US:

"This is not a food product. Do not expose to air."

FlyingForFun
9th Aug 2001, 17:16
On the flap of some of the PA28's I hire from White Waltham:

"Warning - Flap Unsafe" (only visible when flap lowered).

Ok, so *I* know what it means, but is there potential for spooking nervous passengers? Maybe "Do Not Step" would be better?

FFF
-------------

gaterbait
12th Aug 2001, 09:22
on a butane filled bar-b-que wand type lighter 'DO NOT USE NEAR FIRE OR FLAME'

ExSimGuy
13th Aug 2001, 12:32
On an American "Toro brand" ride-on rotary lawn-mower, between your feet when riding are a number of hazard symbols, including suggestions not to drive sideways on steep slopes, not to put your feet under the cutting deck, but the best one is a symbol warning you not to drive the lawnmower over people lying on the ground :eek:

(mmm . . . maybe a good point . . . )

Evo7
13th Aug 2001, 12:59
On a PA-28: Do not spin this aircraft. Like I'd want to.... ;)

captainowie
13th Aug 2001, 18:33
Like you could anyway... :D :D :D

Tricky Woo
13th Aug 2001, 20:06
Jet Blast
** DO NOT ENTER IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED **

Sorry, wrong thread.

TW

Squawk 8888
13th Aug 2001, 22:29
On the pouches of bread in Canaian Forces meal packs: "Do not eat dessicant packet." Too bad- they taste better than the entrée.

angels
14th Aug 2001, 12:12
Not exactly on topic, but the trolleys at Toys R' Us in Hong Kong used to have a sign on them saying 'Please do not leave your personal values in this trolley.'

Lord Lucan
14th Aug 2001, 13:35
Saw this on a car's rear view mirror in Canada:

"Objects may be closer than they appear" :rolleyes:

FlyingForFun
14th Aug 2001, 14:08
Evo,

Re spinning a PA28 - I tried that once. Got the thing to stand on it's nose, then walked round to the wing tip and gave it a real hard shove - but it just wouldn't spin at all. Couldn't even get 1/4 turn out of it.

Then the airfield manager walked out and asked me what the f!ck I thought I was doing, to get off his airfield, leave his aircraft alone and he never wants to see me again. Jeeze, he took that sticker seriously!

;) :D ;)

FFF
-----------

Kermit 180
14th Aug 2001, 14:59
Label on my cellphone instruction booklet:

"Your cellphone is certified as being safe to use and research shows that this cellphone will cause no harm to humans. We recommend not using your cellphone for periods exceeding ten minutes at a time".

It probably caused no harm to humans during testing because they used hamsters to ring each other. And if it's so safe why does my ear heat up?

Kermie :D :(

Elliot Moose
15th Aug 2001, 02:03
A coworker delivered an aircraft to Qingdao about a month ago and brought back a nice tourism pamphlet about that region of China. Among other things was a fairly long section which (along with a nice picture of some crystal clear spring water) extolled the virtues of the city's water supply. It went on at great length about how the water meets or exceeds all of the national standards regarding water quality, and yada, yada, yada....
Then the section finished up with almost two paragraphs warning the traveller not to actually consume the water in any form, and that only bottled water was considered remotely safe to drink.
Kinda makes you wonder what the poor folks are drinking now doesn't it? :D

Don D Cake
16th Aug 2001, 14:15
On my Japanese made mandoline it warns the user:

"Lotus root slices: Slippery booiled root with a clothn napkin" (sic)

Whereas it should say:

"Warning do not use when pissed. You may slice the top of your finger off and in the ensuing chaos of attempting to stem the blood flow you will forget about the said piece of finger, cook it and eat it".

I don't know if I or my wife ate it but it didn't seem to ruin the food.

I'd rather
16th Aug 2001, 15:31
You were making something that involves a mandoline when p!ssed??!

Respect! The very most I can manage in that condition is toast.

SOPS
16th Aug 2001, 16:42
First I have to ask "Just what does one make with a mandoline, and is it fun to do after too much red?" :p

Next back to warnings, from the lift in the hotel in Leipzig "Do not enter lift backwards,and only when lit up" :cool:

SOPS
16th Aug 2001, 21:33
Ok I think I have just found the best one yet! Just got back from having a drink with a mate, we were sitting in the backyard, his kids were "shooting some hoops", and on the backboard of the basketball ring there was a sticker that said (and I am NOT making this up)"Warning: balls can bounce off this ring" :D :D :D

You want it when?
16th Aug 2001, 21:37
Not sure if this counts:

I've got a t-shirt from a mates stag do. On the front it says

"Do not invert contents liable to spill"

and on the back

"M. Hunts Stag Tour - if found please return contents to Hotel Esplande, reward offered - do not mug"

Onan the Clumsy
17th Aug 2001, 01:32
DRY CLEANING

ALL GARMENTS $1.50


some garments excluded.

Mert
17th Aug 2001, 13:41
Bay area Londoner, my house mates and I slept with hairdryers on for about a month, we had rented an almost fallen down old house as students and it was heated by an old wood/coal stove in the cellar and at one point we were so flat broke we couldn't even afford to feed the damn thing, eventually we ran out of furniture to burn ( seriously ) so we took to all living in one room with a couple of hairdryers to heat it ( electricity was paid by the landloard ) see, it has been done at least once.
As luck would have it a man that lived down the road from us had an old dead tree in his yard, and he let us chop down and take for firewood.

Don D Cake
17th Aug 2001, 17:32
A mandoline is a very sharp blade sort of mounted on a board with adjusting screws. You can use it to slice stuff very thinly. I decided after a few glasses of red that I wanted matchstick chips with my steak - big mistake.

I don't think I can cook sober. I blame it on the Galloping Gourmet who I used to watch on TV during my formative years. He used to cook with a pint size glass of wine and just before every advertising break he used to say "Time for a quick slurp" and drink the lot.

Probably explains why my culinary hero is Keith Floyd and why I think Jamie Oliver is a pouff. Quite fancy Nigella Lawson though.

EGGD
17th Aug 2001, 17:50
At a funeral Parlour:

Drive carefully, we'll wait

-----------------------------

On a box of Nytol (Sleeping syrup or pills)

Warning, Causes drowsiness

-----------------------------

On a foreign Kitchen knife

Warning, keep out of children.

-----------------------------

btw. i didn't know Batman could fly!

A Very Civil Pilot
18th Aug 2001, 21:55
Seen on a factory door:

This door is only to be used as an entrance to or an exit from the building

More on doors. Those little signs that say 'push' or 'pull'. How many times have you seen someone do the opposite.


Edited to get the italics working


8ollocks!!
[ 20 August 2001: Message edited by: A Very Civil Pilot ]

[ 20 August 2001: Message edited by: A Very Civil Pilot ]

Blacksheep
19th Aug 2001, 08:43
I just noticed that on the package of one of the six different pills I have to take daily to stay alive, it says "Danger - Poison!" and there is a picture of a skull and crossbones. Maybe I should have a word with my doctor?

**********************************
Through difficulties to the cinema

Kermit 180
19th Aug 2001, 10:04
More on doors. Some banks have those sliding automatic doors, which are sometimes purposly delayed for security reasons. How many people have you seen walk into these?

Kerms :rolleyes:

aidybennett
20th Aug 2001, 18:27
What about the notice at the end of films?
Film about crew of space ship thats just crossed galaxy in a couple of days, had a fight with big scary aliens etc, stopped a wars between different alien races then traveled back in time to warn the Earth that its going to get blown up in twenty years time. Roll credits then following noticce "This film is intirely ficticious. Any resemblence to actual events ..."
Really? :rolleyes:

rainbow
20th Aug 2001, 22:09
A "Clipper" hair-cutting set from the Grace Brothers department store in Sydney comes with a label promising a "Lifetime 2 Year Warranty".

(New Scientist magazine, 11 August 2001)

EGGD
21st Aug 2001, 00:59
NTL: Your account can only be used for no more than 24 hours in any one day

Bervie
21st Aug 2001, 01:05
Warning on a sun shield for use in your car windscreen - Remove screen before driving.
No REALLY!

Midnight Blue
21st Aug 2001, 03:57
I found this on a placard, sticking at the instrument panel of an old PA 23 Apache:

"Warning! Reading placards during flight is hazardous and may cause injuries or even death!"

BobZyurUnkl
21st Aug 2001, 07:21
On my Bar-B-Que

"Warning-outdoor use only"

(Yes I was oustide at the time)
Where is that fire extinguisher!

Axerock
21st Aug 2001, 12:12
Hey Rainbow.

IS that the "US Justice Department" model. According to them a "lifetime" will get you out in two years (with good beahaviour).

It always worries me about a lifetime warranty. Does that mean that if something breaks the manufacturer has the choice of fixing it or killing you (whichever is cheaper).

dazedandconfused
21st Aug 2001, 15:35
On a hotel shower cap: 'Fits one head'.

I mean...come on!! :rolleyes:

captainowie
21st Aug 2001, 18:10
Axerock and Rainbow.

I believe the lifetime warranty refers to the life of the product.
"I'm sorry, this product is dead. The warranty no longer applies." :D

rainbow
22nd Aug 2001, 01:48
Hi Axerock & Captainowie,

The "lifetime" guarantee could well apply to the longevity of the product rather than the purchaser, now that I think of it.

Particularly if the product happens to be an expired parrot. Perhaps a Norwegian blue, for instance.

Best wishes,
rainbow

Grainger
22nd Aug 2001, 02:04
R22 Handbook:

"Minimum crew is one pilot" :eek:

tony draper
22nd Aug 2001, 02:18
Port Said watches used to be guaranteed to go the length of the Suez Canal,good timekeepers though. ;)

pedalezy
23rd Aug 2001, 17:41
:eek: :eek:
Placard next to activation handle to ballistic chute on cirrus SR20
" Use of this safety device may lead to your DEATH"

ft
23rd Aug 2001, 18:38
A certain airline seemed to be very proud of their security seals as there were stickers saying "security seal" all over the place. I guess they were going for the exotic public image but who were they trying to fool? Anyone could see that their security people in fact had german shepherds just like everyone else in the business... ;)

Cheers,
/ft