View Full Version : Life's Mysteries.....

1st Aug 2001, 09:48
Okay..okay ! This is normally expressed on a Friday afternoon, however I cannot take it any longer, so I will mention it NOW !

It's Wednesday...I'm tired and I think I've just about had enough. Here's the TOP 10 things that have p*ssed me off so far this week !!!!!!

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the fark is yours ? Do I point at my c*ck when I ask where the toilet is ?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Farking right !!! What good is a cake if you can't eat it ?

4. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is ! Why the fark would you keep looking after you've found it ? Do people do this ? Who and where are they ?

5. When people say while watching a film "Did you see that ?" No, I paid about $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the farking floor !

6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question ?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine ?

7. When something is "new and improved" ! Which is it ? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "Life is short". What the fark ??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does !! What can you do that's longer ?

9. When people say , "I told you so" . So what if you told me ?Did it make a farking bit of difference to my life ? No !!!! I'm still sitting here listening to you !

10. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks , "Has the bus come yet ?" If the bus came, would I be standing here ???

1st Aug 2001, 13:24

Re your number 6 point, I usually just answer "No!" and that seems to stop all further discussions on their part.

"If you have a reputation for being subtle, occasionally it is very useful to be blatantly obvious."

3rd Aug 2001, 09:37
* I hate it when people say "Can I be honest with you?" It means there bullsh!tting me the rest of the time.

* "Life is short." Yeh thats true if your healthey and up to your neck in tits pussey and money. Life is f*ckin long if your poor, sick, and ugley.

* "People arent stupid you know!" Ha! Whos the d!ckhead who coined THAT one?

* If "Love makes the world go around" then what would happen if everyone suddenley stopped screwing?

* Movies about people "seeking to find there own true identity". Most times they end up finding out theyve been total sh!theads all this time which we knew in the first 5 minutes of screening.

* "So how did you sleep?" With my bloodey eyes shut!

* "Can we just be friends?" No way! I didnt spend hundreds of hard-earned $$$ wining and dining you on 4 dates just to be "friends" so f*ck off!

[ 03 August 2001: Message edited by: Slasher ]