View Full Version : nicknames and non-de-plumes

31st Jul 2001, 14:10
there I was standing in the lunch queue at the terminal aimlessly watching the women walk by and overheard a couple of pilots rating them which took me back to the good old days of the aeroclub when we had nicknames/non-de-plumes/codes to describe certain abilities.

For example there was one who was affectionately named 8 and a half,
8 from the back - and a half from the front.

and another who was named 'Bob' (I'll leave you to work that one out).

It makes me wonder what other descriptions were used???
Are there any more?

Takan Inchovit
31st Jul 2001, 14:45
Heard this one recently: "1953"

Body of a 19 year old, face of a ... :o

31st Jul 2001, 15:16
Takan Inchovit---

Bwhahhahahahahahahahah!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D

Lon More
31st Jul 2001, 18:56
Bobfoc = Body off Baywatch, Face off Crimewatch :rolleyes:

31st Jul 2001, 22:46



1st Aug 2001, 06:38
I seem to remember a Hoover, and her little sister Mini Vac. Then there were the rhea sisters dia, and g.... well never mind.

Transition Layer
1st Aug 2001, 11:35
A couple of others -

"Good from far, far from good"

Prawn - nice tasty body, but the head is terrible


Biggles Flies Undone
1st Aug 2001, 13:08
A pal of mine worked with a bloke who whistled tunelessly all day long. The bloke thought they called him 'Thrush' because he whistled like a songbird.

Actually, it was because he was an irritating c**t :D

1st Aug 2001, 13:27
A variation on Prawn:

So named because his head was full of sh!t.

Tartan Gannet
1st Aug 2001, 13:29
LOMBARD Lots of money but a real dumbo.

Dave Incognito
1st Aug 2001, 13:44
Along the same lines as TL's good from far but far from good....

*"Distance was her ally"


*"Had a face like the southbound end of a northbound camel."

Of course there is always the NSR index (Number of Schooners Required) which operates similar to golf scoring, i.e. the lower the NSR the better. :D

Yak Hunt
1st Aug 2001, 15:31
Eight Gauge - 'cos eight guage steel is thick and difficult to work with :D

2nd Aug 2001, 17:43
Scud - Made a lot of noise but wasn't very effective.
Stealth - A controller seldom seen on Radar.

2nd Aug 2001, 17:49
At Cooloongatta in Queensland, the punters have to walk out to the aircraft. We used to rate them by what distance from the A/C they started to look bad.

A 1 was fantatic. A 50-100 was really bad! :D

I'm a 273 according to a couple of the girls that I've flown with! :(

3rd Aug 2001, 09:30
A workmate once said that the new office girl was like the bagpipes.......alright at a distance !!

3rd Aug 2001, 11:23
Used to be a rather thin young lady of my acquaintance fondly referred to by the boys as Biscuit, because she was a Narrow Root.

(aussies will understand, the others can take a good guess)

Brit Abroad
3rd Aug 2001, 16:29
RAF (Rough As F*ck)


3rd Aug 2001, 19:17
Funny !
Along the same as 1953, bobfog, prawn,
in Holland we say PLORK
Prachtig Lichaam, Ontzettende Rot Kop.
Sorry doesn't translate well, but you get the idea.

3rd Aug 2001, 20:45
Years ago in the RAF we used to get "official" wake up calls and a cup of tea from the mess batting staff. Some of them were female civilians. The official method of waking people up was to knock on the door of each room, pause, walk in calling out "Mornin' sir", slam mug of tea down on the table and depart.

One of them in particular became known as "The Goblin Teasmade" because she was famous for a special type of wakeup method for her favourite customers.... ;) :eek:

Capt Vegemite
3rd Aug 2001, 21:09
I liked "She looks good at a hundred knots in heavy drizzle"
Or..."She's got a head like a Norwegian racing sardine"

Feel free to subsitute "He" for "She". :cool:

6th Aug 2001, 16:00
DB: Double-bagger

One to put over her head - and the other one on your own head in case hers falls off !!

7th Aug 2001, 08:52
I well remember old 'Bowser Lips' 'Wingnut' and a really delightful young lady unfortunately known even to her face as 'No-neck' Then there was 'Rupert' (as in Bear) who married 'Olive' (as in Pop-eye) Olive wasn't as thin as 'Miracle Legs' though - its a miracle they didn't snap off and vanish up her ars*h*le. Aren't we so cruel when we're young?

Through difficulties to the cinema

Bally Heck
8th Aug 2001, 00:38
Perhaps this posting belongs in the tech log forum. Forgive me if I've mis-posted.


The SI (System Internationale) unit for measuring female beauty is the Helen. Based on Helen of Troy who was in possesion of a face capable of launching a thousand ships.

A lady who's coupon could launch one ship would thus be defined as 1 millihelen (mH)

A "ten pinter" (in old imperial units) would be a picohelen (pH)

etc etc

I trust gentlemen that this puts an end to this childish thread. ;)

For the sake of humorous enhancement this tmessage has been

[ 07 August 2001: Message edited by: Bally Heck ]

Desert Duck
8th Aug 2001, 16:41
Once knew an office bird affectionately known as 'Burma Road'
A long torturous route

You want it when?
8th Aug 2001, 17:10
Does the phrase "Beaten with the ugly stick" remind anyone?

Harry Peacock
8th Aug 2001, 17:41
A face like fire damaged lego...

....put out with a shovel.

8th Aug 2001, 23:15
Then there is " fell head first out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch on the way down"

9th Aug 2001, 04:55
or did she look like a bulldog chewing a wasp??

or a kicked in piss can??

Not speaking from previous experience of course.

10th Aug 2001, 03:25
i met an airforce guy once whos parents had given him a name with rather unfortunate initials, he was known as jism! :eek:

Elliot Moose
10th Aug 2001, 03:54
One that works for looks as well as brains is to suggest that (s)he "has a head like a sun [email protected] pumpkin"

Top Loadie
11th Aug 2001, 21:24
Wooooaaaa, she had a face like...
a blind cobblers thumb.
a welders bench.
a bag of spanners.

"She had a sweet face, like a chewed toffee".

:D :D :D

11th Aug 2001, 23:04
You all seem to be picking on the girlies....Met someone once whose crew called him The Eternal Flame, because he never goes out.

Knew a girl called Electrolux once upon a time....

12th Aug 2001, 02:08
Used to call my ex-wife Harpic.....because she was clean round the bend.

Actually she was so ugly when she was born the mid-wife thought she was a breech birth.

12th Aug 2001, 02:40
I remember a young female Air Traffic Controller known widely as "RM".... for RouteMaster.

She looked like the back end of a bus. :D

(three bagger)

Rgds BEX

12th Aug 2001, 04:46
how bout Butter Face....Nice girl..a shame bout her face!!

12th Aug 2001, 05:36
Remember at Yeovilton that the NAAFI was frequented by the 'Marsh monster' who came from Yeovil Marsh and used to get brought in for the base for the bashes for a bet. Any ex Air arm jocks remember her? any of you win the kitty?

henry crun
12th Aug 2001, 07:06
Knew a met mans daughter once whose nickname was Katabatic,
and a visiting yank couldn't make up his mind about our nursing sister face.
It was either like a "bursted rats asshole" or "like someone had been chopping wood on it"

[ 12 August 2001: Message edited by: henry crun ]

Stage 6
12th Aug 2001, 13:39
DDF = Distance Distortion Factor.
ie. Good at a distance but a dingo close up.


She/he had a head like a busted sausage. :D

12th Aug 2001, 22:26
Similar to Harry Peacock's -

Once heard a hostie described as ,
"It looks like someone set fire to her face and put it out with a cricket bat".
But as we all know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and strangely enough the girl in question was VERY popular with a lot of the boys. :D

13th Aug 2001, 06:16
Beauty is not necessarily in the eye of the beholder. After all isn't aviation performance based these days? :D :D

Here's another couple for you.

Guppy - small head and large body (slightly overweight)

and of course don't forget her sister

Super Guppy - same size head and an even larger body.

biggles mate
13th Aug 2001, 16:03
T hen there is aways some poor bugger with Zacherys syndrome...............You know head zachery same as ar**hole :D

Tricky Woo
13th Aug 2001, 17:01
She had a face like...

...a bag full of broken biscuits.
...a bag of spanners.
...f**k off.


13th Aug 2001, 18:01
I once heard a young lady described as

"goes down like a fat dog on lino"

which was nice! :eek:

Vortex what...ouch!
13th Aug 2001, 18:35
A few I rembember….

Sh*gs like a belt fed wombat.

Goes like a rabbit on steroids.

She’s got a head like a robbers dog.

14th Aug 2001, 15:44
Once had a boss we called 'ILS'. He thought it was because he kept us safely on track.... Actually it meant 'Irritating Little S**t'.