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Kolibear
23rd Feb 2004, 20:50
Mrs K was having a bit of a clear-out on Sunday and emerged from the bottom of a cupboard clutching a toast rack and a butter dish.

She looked at me & said 'I know that these were wedding presents, but have we ever used them?'

A friend of ours had received on her wedding day, a glass Punch Bowl, with half a dozen hooks around the rim and individual glasses hanging from them. Very attractive, totally impractical and absolutely useless.

So, what was your wedding gift nightmare?





(Anyone want a toastrack & butterdish?)

radarman
23rd Feb 2004, 20:57
Mrs Radarman. (Mk 1)

Capt.KAOS
23rd Feb 2004, 21:50
Set of bbq plates made of quite expensive pottery. The groom (me) unpacked it and all 6 of 'em dropped out of the packing on the floor into thousand pieces. The hall was in total silence for 10 secs and it took the brides favorite uncle/auntie (the sponsors) 5 years to speak to me again (when we divorced..."good riddance" ... guess they were right?).

angels
23rd Feb 2004, 22:29
Two days after I got engaged I was posted out of the blue to Hong Kong.

I flew back from there to get married. My UK boss's wedding present to me was a fecking wok.

Years later I pointed out the 'coals to Newcastle' irony of this and the boss had the good grace to cringe big-time.

Another friend who lived in then Czechslovakia sent his gift to Hong Kong direct as he couldn't make the wedding. It was some lovely Czech crystal glass.

Unfortunately he hadn't thought to put a 'fragile' sticker on the parcel and the whole lot was in smithereens.

Oh well.....

DishMan
23rd Feb 2004, 23:51
I do believe the DM household is in possession of an electric carving knife. I know we got it as a wedding gift but it's never been used in 15 years! Probably in one of those "must unpack and see what's inside" boxes :rolleyes:

Jerricho
24th Feb 2004, 00:08
We got this stupid clock that Mrs J has gone out of her way to drop, kick, chip and break for ages. It's just hella ugly, doesn't keep time and was quite expensive, so I have been told.

(And you guys though I was going to bitch about something else now, didn't you!)

DishMan
24th Feb 2004, 00:18
No Jerricho,

The MIL is an "Added bonus" that automatically comes along when u get married.
Therefore, they can not be classed as a "Wedding Gift"!
(A gift would also be yours to do with as you pleased - MIL is beyond that realm of influence :(

So if you had said MIL - you would have been guilty of thread-jack.
(OK you would have voiced what many of us here were thinking though!) ;) :ok:

Jerricho
24th Feb 2004, 00:23
As I have just started the "What am I giving up for Lent" thread, I feel I can't adequately reply to your post DM (for the next 40 days anyway!)

DishMan
24th Feb 2004, 00:31
40 days!

JB Ppruners take note on Jerricho's Lenten sacrifice!!!!

Bet you can't make it!
:E

Jerricho
24th Feb 2004, 01:35
You're on! No worries at all!

Anthony Carn
24th Feb 2004, 02:54
A friend of mine awoke one morning and, when his wife was sure he was sufficiently conscious, she drew the cold blade of a large carving knife across the base of his manhood.

When he looked, (from the other side of the bedroom by then), he realised she'd used the back of the blade. The grin on her face was somewhat evil, apparently.

I'd find the electric carving knife and hide it DishMan.

Small tiff the previous night. Awake to a cold tingle on yer privates and a buzzing sound.

:E

maxman
24th Feb 2004, 05:16
The same one that everyone must have. The good old Toasted sandwich maker. Takes ten minutes to make the sarnie, and an hour to clean the feckin thing after. Used once, been in the cupboard since.

Anthony Carn
24th Feb 2004, 14:59
You clean a toastie maker ?? :ooh:

Naw naw naw !! :*

Just leave it on, closed up, for a few minutes after use and it'll carboniferise any stuck food.

The next time you make a toastie, the carbonifery will stick to your new creation. Adds a lovely taste.

Ah ! The joys of being a slob ! :}


Mind you, being heavy and having a handle grip, toastie makers have no place in a wise husband's kitchen. :uhoh:

henry crun
24th Feb 2004, 15:09
Anyone want.......

1. A boxed set of imitation pearl handled fish knifes and forks.

2. A boxed set of cheap looking EPNS tea spoons.

3. A boxed set of EPNS cake knife, fork, and egg slice thingy for retrieving slices of cake.

?

BlueWolf
24th Feb 2004, 15:59
Not a wedding gift, but way back in the mists of time our high school principal retired after 30-odd years in the job.

Everyone - staff included - chipped in and bought him a coffee set; plunger, percolator, fancy cups, sugar crystal bowl, etc etc etc all on a silver tray.....

He didn't drink coffee.....:ooh: oops