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widgeon
13th Nov 2001, 23:44
Here is a thread that has no political or religious overtones :
What is the most unusual place you have :
1) Had sex
2) Can imagine having sex.

Probably been thorough this before but hey Im kind of new to PPRUNE.
For me 1) has to be the shower of a Christian hostel in Gallilee ( see how boring I am ).
2) Would be on top of a coffin in the back of a hearse.

[ 13 November 2001: Message edited by: widgeon ]

Bally Heck
14th Nov 2001, 00:24
BLUSH :cool:

HugMonster
14th Nov 2001, 02:37
1) We really need that US 5th. Amendment thing here...
2) On the Speaker's Chair, House of Commons.

tony draper
14th Nov 2001, 02:43
In a coal house,
Lust in the coal dust.

Sensible
14th Nov 2001, 03:18
oooh ouch, there was the time on the ground in a pine forest!!

rebeccadblake
14th Nov 2001, 03:39
1. PA28 (shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
2. C152 (hehahahhahheheheh)

tony draper
14th Nov 2001, 03:39
Must have been much worse for the other Gentleman Mr S. ;)

Tamara
14th Nov 2001, 08:58
hmmmmm...
1) On the floor of check in with Feeton.
2) On the floor of check in with Feeton.

Melanie Terrafirma :eek:

compressor stall
14th Nov 2001, 10:58
1)In a Snow Cave.

2)On a runway.

Transition Layer
14th Nov 2001, 12:10
(1) - Front yard of someone's house, about 100m down the road from a party I was (hehe) attending.

(2) - On the flight deck of a B777 with some gorgeous busty blonde flight attendant, while the Captain was asleep in the left seat. He would wake up to find her shutting the door behind her and a fresh cup of coffee in his cup holder, oblivious to what had just happened.

:) ;) :D

Cheers,
TL

Feeton Terrafirma
14th Nov 2001, 12:31
Is this like kiss 'n tell?

:eek:

In that case,

1/ I have no recollection of that (and Melanie was NOT wearing a stained blue dress either)

2/ under Mel, on top of Mel, beside Mel, next to Mel, with Mel, behind Mel, in front of Mel..... you get the drift :D

HugMonster
14th Nov 2001, 14:21
Okay, Min, how about the Woolsack in the House of Lords instead? :D

le loup garou
14th Nov 2001, 14:43
On the rug in front of the fire in my house when I was 14. Not unusual I know but it turned a bit pear shaped when my mother walked in.

Regards le loup garou

[ 14 November 2001: Message edited by: le loup garou ]

Tricky Woo
14th Nov 2001, 14:51
I think everyone agrees that Macclesfield is truly an odd and unusual place... I had sex there once.

TW

le loup garou
14th Nov 2001, 14:52
In the bathroom in my house when I was 14. Not unusual I know but it all turned a bit pear shaped when my mother walked in.

Regards le loup garou

le loup garou
14th Nov 2001, 14:56
In the dining room in my house when i was 14. Not unusual I know aaah forget it!! :D

Regards le loup garou

HugMonster
14th Nov 2001, 14:59
it turned a bit pear shaped when my mother walked in.Coitus Interruptus does that to you? :eek: :D

dingducky
14th Nov 2001, 16:44
i don't have sex anywhere. hmmm where is my celibacy thread :cool:

but i think i would quite like to join the mile high club.
the problem is that:
1) i cannot get to a mile high (not been in an aircraft to such heights since i was 5 yrs old)
2) i have noone with whom i can earn my membership (i don't think that it would count to join solo!)

hassel
14th Nov 2001, 16:47
In the back of a church being used as a polling station on ELECTIONday. :D :D

Throtlemonkey
14th Nov 2001, 16:49
1) On the CFI's desk ;)

2) In the backgound of a live broadcast :eek:

BlueDiamond
14th Nov 2001, 17:15
Two young Japanese tourists whiling away the time before their flight. I opened my office door (unaware that they were using it as a stabiliser) and they fell in. I don't really know who was the more embarrassed!

:o

pjdj777
14th Nov 2001, 18:26
hmmm, a live broadcast?

I wouldn't know ;)

Interviewer: "where was the strangest place you've had sex?"

Page Three Model: "Up the Bum"

sweety
14th Nov 2001, 19:43
In Bed? :D

B.Loser
14th Nov 2001, 22:30
Ding Darlin',

What a crime!

What qualifications would a successful candidate need to possess in order to be considered for the mission(s)?

Binoculars
15th Nov 2001, 02:59
B. Loser,

In the words of the legendary Reddo, "a heartbeat and a hard-on".

dingducky
15th Nov 2001, 04:19
my requirements are more than a pulse and a penis :mad:

HugMonster
15th Nov 2001, 05:26
Darn it - cos I was doing well so far! :D

Binoculars
15th Nov 2001, 07:34
Min, I can tell we are gonna get along just fine, you and I! :l

(Don't forget the pethidine)

BRL
15th Nov 2001, 10:22
1. On a web-cam in Netmeeting.

2. At the next Gatbash on the top table...

Feeton Terrafirma
15th Nov 2001, 13:09
Hey Min,

there was a time I could have shown you, but now you will need to ask Mel :D

ShyTorque
15th Nov 2001, 16:20
Once caught my lady bending over the freezer, couldn't resist the view and gave her a big surprise.

We both got a lifetime ban from that Sainsbury's supermarket. :cool:

Warning: do NOT attempt sex on a parked motorbike. If it falls off the stand you may get trapped underneath. Believe me..... :rolleyes:

TowerDog
15th Nov 2001, 16:35
Biscuit:

I spent many good months of my life in the Shingawa Prince Hotel back in 91/92.
Where ya there then?
(Thought I saw something on that park bench)

Uh, as for the topic at hand:

On a beach under a palm tree in St. Thomas.
The problem was sand....It got everywhere.

Where would I like to do it?
Hmm, Bo Derek's bedroom comes to mind.

B.Loser
15th Nov 2001, 18:36
What a relief to know that a pulse isn't necessarily a prerequisite - after all those years of the XL (eX-Loser) calling me "her heartless basstard"!

pulse1
15th Nov 2001, 18:43
I would assure any attractive young ladies reading this thread I am an absolute requisite for a satisfying sex life. :D :D

Tamara
15th Nov 2001, 22:32
Feeton, you say the nicest things.....

Melaniexxxx ;) ;) ;)

Feeton Terrafirma
16th Nov 2001, 00:50
aaaawwwwwwwwwwwww Melanie my love. :D

What about on top of a motorbike at a drive-in movie (Before I meet Mel)
And we didn't fall of either.

The best bit of advice I can offer to those who wish to be descrete - Don't use a piano keyboard as a back rest :eek: :eek:

tony draper
16th Nov 2001, 01:10
Hasn't been any mention of such places as mortuaries or cemeteries as yet, so we must assume we have few necrophiliacs frequenting this forum.
Just been watching a program about the career of June Whitfield, anybody else like Draper think she was a very sexy woman in her younger days, or is Draper strange. ;)

Eric
16th Nov 2001, 01:51
is Draper strange.

Answers on a postcard!

[ 15 November 2001: Message edited by: Eric ]

Binoculars
16th Nov 2001, 02:37
Ms Whitfield certainly doesn't do much for me now and I didn't notice her in her more fanciable days, but I think Draper is not necessarily strange, just old. Does that make you feel better? ;)

tony draper
16th Nov 2001, 03:25
Some truth in what you say Mr B, however I have to tell you from personell experience that old is always someone ten years ahead of you,ie, when your fifty, old is sixty when your sixty oldness is not achieved untill you reach seventy ect. ;)

Mirkin About
16th Nov 2001, 03:54
Not forgetting that Older ladies have certain attractions . They don't Swell ,they don't tell and they are as grateful as HELL.

Classy me :D

[ 15 November 2001: Message edited by: Mirkin About ]

tony draper
16th Nov 2001, 04:09
Draper has always prefered mature ladies even when he himself was a tadpole.
Still prefer ladies like news presenters and such and the more mature actresses, rather than those skinny shapeless bints most of the callow youths on this forum drool over.
In fact I think the sexiest lady on telly at the momment is that Kate Segal from Married with Children, the program is dire comedy wise, but Draper watches it for her, most here probably watch it for the one who plays the young daughter, fools.
Draper also fancies that Caroline Quentin,she's a very sexy lady in Drapers eyes, now that revelation will have the ladies throwing up their hands in horror. ;)

[ 16 November 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

Continuous Ignition
16th Nov 2001, 04:22
In the middle of Kirstenbosch National Botanical Gardens in Cape Town, South Africa
on a bright sunny Sunday in December.. Oh the memories..

Also, in the lower galley of a DC-10 enroute to ANC.

Binoculars
16th Nov 2001, 06:16
Herr Draper, Binos specifically disqualifies himself from the callow youth category and has already gone on record as admiring the ripe and mature Nigella, though one has been noticing that her lower half appears to be quite expansive, though the cameraman goes to great lengths to bathe it in very soft focus.....

But I digress, it is your thoughts on where "oldness" starts which occupy me here. Approaching 49, I no longer prolong the agony. 70 is old, 60 is old, 50 is old, in fact 48 is old. *sigh*

I apologize for hijacking the s-e-x thread; I have nothing useful to contribute to it, and now return it to those still able to separate fantasy and reality.

Perhaps the concept of youth vs age deserves a thread of its own.

:(

henry crun
16th Nov 2001, 06:37
I am surprised no one has yet mentioned the old truism that....
"the best tunes are played by old fiddles"

pigboat
16th Nov 2001, 07:29
Who among us remembers what the little straps on the door posts in the original VW Beetle were for? :D :D

TowerDog
16th Nov 2001, 08:26
Kinky ya are Pigboat.
No idea what ya are talking about..

StbdD
16th Nov 2001, 08:58
I still have my 67 Beetle sitting in my garage for sentimental reasons... ahem.

[ 16 November 2001: Message edited by: StbdD ]

flyboy_33
16th Nov 2001, 09:10
The most interesting place for myself was at a resort I was working at in December/January this year near Batemans Bays. A younger lady caught my eye and we spent the night together on the cliff face overlooking the sea, sandy as hell, but in the morning as we were going a second time I realised that we where in full view of the cabins at that end of the resort... Lucky for me only one couple spotted us and they didn't report me to management. Not a bad girl but. (she was 17 and I was 20) just to clear that up!!
FB

I would love to do it in a church in Adelaide... MIN??? interested

Lima Xray
16th Nov 2001, 11:30
No sex please we are Britttishhhh....... :p

Vortex what...ouch!
16th Nov 2001, 18:59
1/ In the northwest tower of the castle in Bratislava, Slovakia. Also the back of an armoured perssonel carrier in a wood in Germany.

2/ In space wieghtless has to worth some thought. Has it even been tried yet? :p

Tamara
16th Nov 2001, 18:59
Draper.....do you want my mobile number??

Oops..sorry, Feeton.

Melanie Terrafirma :eek: :eek: :eek:

RW-1
16th Nov 2001, 19:30
Herr Draper,

Like You, I HAD a thing mr Mrs. Bundy, however after aspecial once where one got to see her in her natural form (not nude you drooling maggots, but normally made up, etc.) she is, hmm... how to say ... DOG.

But do not let RW-1's tunr off dissuade you from following your heart, or other organ's to her. :D

Ding,

While true, RW has a heart and a penis, I also have that inane capability to hold conversation after the act, closeness, and the ability to hold off the separation act (one or the other leaving the bed, etc.) for at least 10-20 minutes hehe .....

[ 16 November 2001: Message edited by: RW-1 ]

Wizofoz
17th Nov 2001, 03:24
1988, hand flying a Beech Baron over Onslow, WA at dawn. Sun glistening off the mud flats,cute 19yo "Freind"..... BEWDIFUL!!!!!

tony draper
17th Nov 2001, 03:38
Ha! Draper is no schoolboy,he is well aware of what ladies look like first thing in the morning, you will not turn Draper away from his deep lust for that lady, or Dolly Parton, or Kirsty Alley for that matter.
Of course Draper is piling on the years so he probably have to tackle only two of the afore mentioned ladies at a time.
Still it would be better if perhaps Linda Bellingham came along, she could keep the odd one company ,for Draper also thinks she is a very sexy lady also. ;)

Robert Cooper
17th Nov 2001, 08:48
For me it's a toss-up (no pun intended) between:

1. the bottom of the Jahore Straits
(Aaaaah, I wish I could still hold my breath like that)

2. A Metro train in Washington DC.

Happy daze :) :cool:


BC

coco-nuts
17th Nov 2001, 09:29
1,banks of the yarra ...ymml precious days!
2,anywhere will do now as long as i get a bit.

Feeton Terrafirma
17th Nov 2001, 10:17
Coco, you sly dog!!

Fancy taking a gurl to the banks of that smelly old river. The Murray near Tocculwal is great (trust me on that)

;)

Feeton Terrafirma
17th Nov 2001, 10:48
Oh I forgot to mention that in the river was fantasic too!!

Feeton Terrafirma
17th Nov 2001, 13:07
Oi Min,

please don't do that! Please don't wear your nurses uniform. I might not be able to think of Mel if you did that ;)

coco-nuts
17th Nov 2001, 14:06
sorry feets if i gave the impression i took her for the walk mate....twas she i swear.....nice one in the river though...! :p

scramjet
19th Nov 2001, 12:52
Hmm first GA JOB getting a bit bored sitting behind the desk, the gf slips under the desk pulls out the ole fella! oooppppss! when someone walks in

djk
19th Nov 2001, 13:39
1. St. James' Park in London at the back of the Ritz Hotel one evening when I was 19. Even an elderly couple going past walking their dog and asking us if we're enjoying ourselves didn't put a dampener on things.

2. I'll have to give that one some thought

sirwa69
19th Nov 2001, 14:03
1) In the back of a caddy going along 5th Avenue

2) In space

:D :D

Bally Heck
19th Nov 2001, 14:52
A long time ago a girlfriend saiD "Kiss me somewhere damp and smelly."


So.


I took her to Glasgow.

tony draper
19th Nov 2001, 14:59
Still have the occasional erotic flashback to my coalhouse coupling.
Draper was fortunate in that he lost his cherry to a skilled older woman in a Posh Montevideo Knocking shop, when he was 16, none of this teenage backlane fumbling for Draper.

The coalhouse thing happened later in life. ;)
Hey, the whereabouts and when one lost ones cherry would be a interesting thread, Specificly any input from ladies would be of special academic interest to the lads here. ;)

[ 19 November 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

Gash Handlin
19th Nov 2001, 23:53
1. In the sea just 50 yards off the beach in Majorca.... at midday :D

2. Anywhere soon :(

flyboy_33
20th Nov 2001, 09:28
Well Min, I do have a pulse, and other essentials for you to enjoy, If you pick the church I will be down in December definitely (I will be there then anyway) and the nurses uniform suits better than the convent school girl look. I had enough of catholic school girls when I attended the all boy's college and attended the all girls school for six months... doesn't do a single thing for me... catholic church would be enjoyable though!!! I will make sure I get extra massage oil for after as well...
FB

editted for spelling and wrong word...

[ 20 November 2001: Message edited by: flyboy_33 ]

cath
20th Nov 2001, 14:37
1) On a catamaran off Sorrento, Melb....

2) Anything that involves joining the mile high club!!!!
:cool:

Charlie Foxtrot India
20th Nov 2001, 18:38
1, In a John Deere tractor during silage harvest
2, During the inbound (heh heh) leg of a two minute NDB holding pattern in a PA28 yes two whole minutes at 6080 feet
3, In the audience of an Adam and the Antz concert (in 1980 before they turned [email protected])

But now I'm old and fat and married and respectable those are just fond memories...
;)

Feeton Terrafirma
20th Nov 2001, 19:25
Well before I got married, the most unusual place was in a bed!!
:confused:

[ 20 November 2001: Message edited by: Feeton Terrafirma ]

Techchick
20th Nov 2001, 19:46
and now its the check in floor?
:confused: :confused: :confused:

Bev Bevan
20th Nov 2001, 22:11
In the six-yard box in front of the home supporters terrace at my local Division 2 club, 3am one saturday mmorning.
Twelve hours later I was to watch my team score the winner from pretty much the same spot :D

sweety
21st Nov 2001, 01:27
Bed is still the most unusual place for me! :o

2) Anywhere about 35 000 feet high? ;)

Loki
21st Nov 2001, 01:40
Can`t be bothered looking through all the other posts, so I apologise if someone got there before me.

Any sexual experience for me is unusual, though when it does occur (birthdays , being a good boy etc), I could hardly claim that it
is in an odd place.

Travelling Toolbox
22nd Nov 2001, 08:06
On my old trusty R90S Beemer breezing along at around 120kmh somewhere between Goondiwindi and Moree (long time ago now) on a long trip from nowhere to nowhere. With girlfriend draped over tank in front of me, it was such a lovely "ride". :)

The odd truckies we passed that reallised what we were up to, shouted encouragement with blasts on their air horns.

1.3VStall
22nd Nov 2001, 14:29
On a pedallo on Lake Garda, Northern Italy in the height of summer. Still brings a smile to my face 15 years later. (And I subsequently married her!).

Le Pen
24th Nov 2001, 19:25
Hello all...

1a. Underfloor galley of a L10-11 Tristar on Xmas day.

1b. Balcony in a downtown hotel in Madrid, just before lunch time.

2. Unusual sex would be at home. :( I am away too often..


Ding.... You are a TEASE!!!!! You may require a pulse but Bio proves you dont need a hard on :p


Love LP

dingducky
25th Nov 2001, 01:42
LP
what are you suggesting? :confused:

Send Clowns
25th Nov 2001, 03:05
Well this is not my story I'm afraid (I have a few, but best to spare those that might know me too well from reading them).

For those that don't know part of the recommended equipment in an aircrew survival tin would be condoms, unlubricted for emergency use in carrying water. Well I do know one couple both RN aircrew who, on exercise (having not washed for several days, as is normal in such circumstances) put these to more ... conventional use on survival exercise in the New Forest :D

In fact the instructors who watch over students using night-vision equipment have the odd story to tell about the civvies they have seen ... :eek:

[ 24 November 2001: Message edited by: Send Clowns ]

Binoculars
25th Nov 2001, 12:30
1. Mine too was in shallow water in a lake somewhere in the western outskirts of Sydney on a hot summer afternoon. Not all that unusual, though the lake was well populated with other swimmers, but what made it slightly different was that her parents were on the shore not 50 metres away. :eek:

CFI, ma petite lapin, I'm still agog at the thought of you doing it in a concert audience. J'implore, s'il vous plait, tell us more!

I was at a open air Dire Straits concert when I noticed the young gentleman next to me standing close behind his girlfriend with his arms around her shoulder was getting a little agitated. Suspecting the music was not entirely responsible, I glanced downwards to see his girlfriend had both hands behind her back. She was clearly a nurse, because she was engaged in vigorously massaging a rather unsightly swelling the poor lad was suffering from. Very entertaining stuff. But the logistics of going another step further intrigue me..... over to you. (Where did you say hubby was, Kazakhstan??)

:D

Fliegenmong
7th May 2008, 05:45
Searching some info on light twins and came across (ahem) and old thread that was running in '01!

Oddest - strangest place you have had sex - well I had a laugh anyway :D, and thought well that was six years ago, shall we go again?

(contained the very briefest mention of a Baron)


......discuss :E:8

Kerosine
7th May 2008, 22:22
Maybe asking on a Friday night would get more responses.

Why don't you start us off? ;)

Fliegenmong
7th May 2008, 23:00
I should try and link the thread into here........

Fliegenmong
8th May 2008, 00:08
Here tis

http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?t=12001&highlight=oddest


err.......think I didn't do that correctly, T thought this was a closed thread from too long ago.

James 1077
8th May 2008, 02:23
OK, to start it off again:

1) Wierdest place to have sex:

Either - in an ex-girlfriend's uncle's swimming pool, while her parents were asleep on the sun loungers nearby.

Or - on my bed at university with an open top tour bus stuck in traffic just outside my open window (I waved at the tourists!).

Or - In a field on a friend's farm only to be interupted by their dog deciding to lick my bottom!

2) Wierdest place I can imagine having sex:

Probably in space while weightless. How much is one of those Virgin Galactic flights again? :p

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
8th May 2008, 02:25
Is the question limited to heterosexual sex?

Buster Hyman
8th May 2008, 03:14
Not at all...do tell what happened with the dog....

lowerlobe
8th May 2008, 03:24
do tell what happened with the dog....
Buster you said you weren't going to mention my ex girlfriend...

Just because she dated you once before I met her there is no need to be spiteful......:E

merlinxx
8th May 2008, 03:49
Dome freight hold on a Comet 4B & Stone Henge @ sunrise

Buster Hyman
8th May 2008, 06:06
I'm only spiteful, because I still haven't gotten rid of the fleas!

Stone Henge @ sunrise
I think they frown upon Druid Fluid.....:oh:

BAMRA wake up
8th May 2008, 06:22
Amazing! 93 posts, no thread drift and no mention of the Nazis!

lowerlobe
8th May 2008, 06:42
Buster.....she told me that you gave her the fleas!!!!!!
no thread drift and no mention of the Nazis!
Well there was a nice German girl once.....and she did have a long leather coat her dad gave her.....

HotDog
8th May 2008, 08:17
In the L41 E&E compartment of a CV880 at FL310. Had to put my uniform jacket on the floor as it was very cold!

captainbelligerant
8th May 2008, 09:39
In the toilet of a Thai MD11 somewhere over Vietnam - During SARS

Is that classed as unsafe sex?

CB:uhoh:

Buster Hyman
8th May 2008, 11:20
Well...it was her birthday...besides, I never could quite get the hang of licking my...:oh:

frostbite
8th May 2008, 12:08
Up a ladder?

(no, I haven't)

er340790
8th May 2008, 12:31
Alton Towers

Ride of a lifetime! ;)

PyroTek
8th May 2008, 13:07
Never had any very weird places, Downstairs on a couch? (with parents sleeping upstairs)

I could imagine it in a car though!

VTA
8th May 2008, 14:35
Had 1 threesom
Lots of 2 somesss
And wayyyy too many 1 somess !!!!:\:\

The SSK
8th May 2008, 14:41
Every motorway rest area between Paris and Brussels.

Made for one long journey.

ThreadBaron
8th May 2008, 14:45
(contained the very briefest mention of a Baron)

Really? What was I doing? And I'm rarely brief.:E

Hotel balconies in Paris and Thassos.
Against a railside halt in Warwickshire ... railside.
In the pool of the Osbourne Hotel in Torquay, very, very early one morning.

This making me sad ......

misbee
8th May 2008, 14:48
Pyrotek - cars are a bit tricky, the handbrake can make it a none too pleasurable experience ... over the bonnet is good though!

Should I admit to a disused cemetery? No? Okay, I won't then ...

S'land
8th May 2008, 14:56
cars are a bit tricky


Especially when one is 1,94m tall and the car being used for such nefarious activity is an MG Midget. Oh to be young and agile again.:E

airship
8th May 2008, 15:06
Does masturbation count?

Only, way back in 1987, there I was, snorkelling amongst the coral reefs about 50m from the outside edge of the barrier reef separating the lagoon from the Pacific ocean in Bora Bora. Perhaps it was having had an unexpected encounter with the small black-tipped shark as we almost collided around a coral head a few days before? Or even that school of needle fish which ominously followed me about so often? For once I found myself completely alone. I sensed the cool ocean current flowing across my body and inexplicably got a tremendous erection. Doing what dolphins and porpoises do naturally, I rapidly did a 360 look-about, ensuring that my beach-companions were really very far away. Having done so, I dived back under, slid back my trunks and brought myself to a rapid but very satisfying culmination. It was especially interesting to see the way my ejaculation floated away globularly-like in the current. And I'm reminded of that experience everytime I watch a TV documentary these days about coral reproduction and their "synchronous release".

PS. Bora Bora was a magical place, just too bad I was without female company at the time. And don't get put off from going there in future just because airship once wanked himself there...?! :O

GOLF_BRAVO_ZULU
8th May 2008, 15:12
The place I look back upon with the most affection is the table in South Office Block Conference Room, HM Naval Base Portsmouth. Her Dad was chairman of a meeting at that very table later that very morning. Halcyon days.

Rob Courtney
8th May 2008, 16:34
THe same subject was the topic of discussion on a local radio station some time ago, the conversation went somthing like:-

DJ: so tell us where your strangest place was?
Caller: In a Tent
Dj: Thats not so unusual
Caller: The tent was in the middle of the Preston Army and Navy store on a busy Saturday afternoon.
DJ Ahh

As for me Back of the girlfriends parents car while they were driving, it took some time, lots of lip biting and a strategically placed blanket. It was night and we were on a very dark road.:E

Kerosine
8th May 2008, 16:42
Christ this is getting interesting!

Should I admit to a disused cemetery? No? Okay, I won't then ...

The dead people got a bit peeved with the location and view, upped sticks and fecked off? :} Either it's a cemetary or it's not lol!

This one made me laugh, I could have sworn this kind of detail was only published in 'Readers Confessions' in top-shelf mags!

Only, way back in 1987, there I was, snorkelling amongst the coral reefs about 50m from the outside edge of the barrier reef separating the lagoon from the Pacific ocean in Bora Bora. Perhaps it was having had an unexpected encounter with the small black-tipped shark as we almost collided around a coral head a few days before? Or even that school of needle fish which ominously followed me about so often? For once I found myself completely alone. I sensed the cool ocean current flowing across my body and inexplicably got a tremendous erection. Doing what dolphins and porpoises do naturally, I rapidly did a 360 look-about, ensuring that my beach-companions were really very far away. Having done so, I dived back under, slid back my trunks and brought myself to a rapid but very satisfying culmination. It was especially interesting to see the way my ejaculation floated away globularly-like in the current. And I'm reminded of that experience everytime I watch a TV documentary these days about coral reproduction and their "synchronous release".


An almost beautiful peice of writing! :p

airborne_artist
8th May 2008, 16:48
We were on exercise in W Germany, dug in, about 50m up a farm track, overlooking a main supply route that for the exercise, would be used by enemy forces. We had to monitor and report all enemy force vehicles. Our hide was about 3m in from the tree line, and about 0.5m underground, in a slight bank, with a fallen tree acting as a lintel over our 12" slit that we looked through.

Up the track, one evening drove a Golf car. A couple got frisky in the car, and then got out. He tied her hands around a small tree, and proceeded to take her from the rear. Much shouting of enjoyment on both sides. They then got back in the car and drove off.

All this was about 1.5m from the hide, and long before the concept of dogging :E

frostbite
8th May 2008, 16:50
Two dodgy places.

Alongside a disused railway track in Wales - the passengers all waved to us as they went past.

In girlfriends lounge, with her parents and brother & sister in the next room.

fireflybob
8th May 2008, 17:09
When I bought my first new car an MGB GT circa 1973 there was an advert "You can do it in an MG!" - I did several times!

Wyler
8th May 2008, 17:24
1. Middle of Saunton Sands beach on a very hot, busy Sunday afternoon.

2. On a Church alter during Harvest Festival. 'Oh Come all ye faithful.....'

ThreadBaron
8th May 2008, 17:38
On a Church alter during Harvest Festival.
I'm glad that did not end with the word 'Service'.:eek:

GBZ reminds me ... the desk of the MGO (Master General of Ordnance) in the MOD Main Building. There were some interesting body shaped marks on the leather top for some time afterwards, but only if you knew they were there.:EWhere is that desk now?

ShyTorque
8th May 2008, 20:10
Alongside a disused railway track in Wales - the passengers all waved to us as they went past.


Eh? On a disused railway track? Ghost train? :eek:

I'm not telling..... :oh:

Buster Hyman
8th May 2008, 22:44
:bored: Thanks airship. That's it for me & the ocean from now on! I'll stick to pools now...

lowerlobe
8th May 2008, 23:00
...Well,why do I have the name 'lowerlobe'....

They were the good old days and you had almost complete privacy....except for your mates making the odd PA to the lowerlobe midstream as it was...

airship
9th May 2008, 14:13
Thanks airship. That's it for me & the ocean from now on! I'll stick to pools now... Terribly sorry if I destroyed any illusions concerning South sea paradises - but don't let that put you off visiting French Polynesia. I'm sure that over 20 years later, no traces of my immature Bora Bora coral spawning activities remain, unless that is, some clown fish mistakenly gobbled some down and there are now important colonies of clown fish there sporting "Yankee Go Home" along their lateral lines...?!

About sex in general: If only I knew then what I know now eh?. Apparently coral spawning occurs only after dusk, so I should maybe have waited. But even back then I was aware that the lagoons in places like Bora Bora could be extremely dangerous places at night. If only because I caught a 5ft barracuda and even once hooked what I swear was a 4-5m tiger shark whilst anchored in a bay somewhere there (no I did not land it and cut off its fins for shark's fin soup throwing back the poor thing to suffer atrociously whilst sinking into the sandy depths - I uhmmm, cut off the steel tracer about 3 shark's jaws width distance from the gigantic head from a little Zodiac (which was a lot smaller than the tiger shark...) :eek: I like tigers but preferably the furry kind.

PS. More disillusions - no vahines (naked or otherwise) ever swam out to us either during my whole 18 months or so there. I can't categorically say that none might have tried swimming out to us at night, but as I just said, very big fish swim those waters at night... :eek:

larssnowpharter
9th May 2008, 14:19
Strangest places:

1. On the 18th green on the Old Course at St Andrews.
2. An old Auster over S France at 2000 ft so didn't qualify for the 'Club'.
3. On a Vespa GP 180 at about 50 mph.
4. At 50 ft down off St Georges Quay, Belize.
5. In a sacristy.

6. Macclesfield!!!

TechCons
9th May 2008, 14:44
1) In a 14 foot ski boat in the middle of lake Eppalock (when it had water in it!)

2) On the bonnet of my trusty Falcon station wagon at a mountain lookout up near Khancoban

3) On a clifftop overlooking the sea near Swanage

The SSK
9th May 2008, 14:53
Isabel makes love upon national monuments
With style and enthusiasm and anyone at all.
Isabel's done Stonehenge and the Houses of Parliament,
But so far little Isabel's never played the Albert Hall.
Many a monolith has seen Isabel,
Her bright hair in turmoil, her breasts' surging swell.
But unhappy Albert, so far denied
The bright sight of Isabel getting into her stride.

The Forth Bridge, The Cenotaph, Balmoral and Wembley.
The British Museum and the House of Lords.
So many ticks in her National Trust catalogue,
But so far the Royal Albert Hall has not scored.
Countless cathedrals can now proudly show
Where Isabel's white shoulder blades have briefly reposed.
Miserable Albert, still waiting for
The imprint of Isabel on his parquet floor.

In Westminster Abbey she lay upon a cold tombstone,
The meat in a sandwich of monumental love,
With old po-faced Wordsworth unblinking beneath
And a bright-eyed young Arch-Deacon breathless above.
Many a stony faced statue has flickered its eyes
And swayed to the rhythm of her little panting cries.
But oh! wretched Albert never yet has known
Isabel's pretty whinnying echo round his dome.

On the last night of the Promenades she waved to the conductor
And there and then on the podium, with scarcely a pause,
With a smile and a bow and a loud "Rule Britannia!"
He completed her collection to enormous applause.
Rapturous Albert now knows full well
He's captured forever elusive Isabel.
Prettily dishevelled but firmly installed
And faithfully for evermore to the Royal Albert Hall.

No more frantic scramblings up the dome of St. Pauls.
No more dank rambles on Hadrian's Wall.
With style and enthusiasm and anyone at all,
Isabel makes love in the Royal Albert Hall.

Flash2001
9th May 2008, 15:43
1) In a poison ivy patch.

Put1992
9th May 2008, 16:44
1. N/A
2. School P.E stock cupboard

:E

Krystal n chips
9th May 2008, 17:18
Back of a glider trailer...twice with same lady.... although she was a Nav's wife so this may not be strictly true....coughs...and for those familiar with such..I was a gentleman and thus underneath.:ooh:

Mac the Knife
9th May 2008, 19:49
On an operating table.

:ok:

Davaar
9th May 2008, 20:01
I've had experience of those but not for that activity. Suitable only for the narrow-minded, I venture.

broadreach
9th May 2008, 23:02
Front seat of a Mini in front of Canterbury Cathedral. I am 6'4". It was not a success.

Few years later, in a thin rope hammock which couldn't quite take the psi, or was it the harmonic vibration.

frostbite
10th May 2008, 12:21
Almost forgot!

In the projection booth of the local cinema (with the Manager's wife).

Pinky the pilot
10th May 2008, 12:56
On the passenger seat of my (purchased brand new) 1974 Toyota Celica. Numerous times with several different Ladies over the years) I still have the car.

In the now Mrs Pinky's bedroon whilst her Mother was in the Kitchen and her Father outside in the car shed, right outside her bedroom window!

Little Blue
10th May 2008, 14:51
On a roof of a five-storey house in Amsterdam....on the flight path into Schipol !
My lily-white arse bobbing up and down must have been observed by a fair number of KLM flight deck....lucky sods !:\

ThreadBaron
10th May 2008, 14:53
Buster
I'll stick to pools now...
See post 103!:E

Radar66
10th May 2008, 14:58
the handbrake can make it a none too pleasurable experience


now, that isn't always strictly true.... :O

goudie
10th May 2008, 15:03
In a side ward RAF Melksham sick quarters.

radicalrabit
10th May 2008, 15:14
Central reservation of the A1, well it was foggy when we pitched the tent ,,,,Good job the frauleine was driving a German registered left hand drive beetle.... And she was nearest the tent flap . Norman the lawman was out side for a while before her decided to interup the proceedings.:=

Hiya Connie !

Lon More
10th May 2008, 15:19
Have to set the scene a bit first. cousin's truck company used to do contract delivery work for a local brewery. i occasionally drove for him when he was short of drivers. In those days none of your curtainsiders etc. everything went on a flatbed, sheeted and roped if necessarynly three or four drops, well spaced out, so little chance to make anything on the side. The then GF decided to accompany me one day, and being pretty athletic, she was soon clambering over the load, sorting out the cases for the next drop.
The last drop was on the New bedford Road in Luton. The pub kitchen was being rebuilt and we had to wait whilst another delivery van was being emptied. I was enticed up on top of the load to discover that she'd dug out a love nest and laid the sheet over the cases to cushion things a bit. Neither of us gave a thought to the fact that we were visible to anyone upstairs on passing buses until we'd gone too far to even consider stopping.

Most recently; on le Shuttle. Almost empty at about 2a.m.. Last van on board and in a compartment on our own. Again we didn't think about an audience - in this case on CCTV when we nipped round into the back of the van. A question of, 'If my van is rocking, don't bother knocking." We got an ovation from the train crew as we drove off.

Wholigan
10th May 2008, 18:24
In a bedroom in the Chief Constable of Devon's house which a mate and I had just broken into with his two daughters, because they had forgotten the key and the folks were away.

Big point though - - - - we did NOT know it was the Chief Constable's house until the next morning, when having coffee in the kitchen and saw photo of important looking man in a much be-decked uniform . "Who's that?" was the natural question. ""Bye and thanks" was the next natural statement!!!

(Do you remember that Mike??)

Outremer
10th May 2008, 22:11
The ladies toilet in the Prince of Wales (Clapham old town) and.....60 minutes or so later.....after a skinful....managed it again under a tree on Clapham Common.

Taildragger
10th May 2008, 22:56
On the grass right in front of the tower at Glasgow Airport with a comely young Wren, whilst it was still HMS Sanderling. It WAS the decommissioning Ball of HMS Sanderling (For that was it's name in those days. (Whilst on the Vinegars a Gent in an Official Black uniform tapped me on the shoulder (I was on the Vinegars, not him) and he said ever so politely, "Good evening" "How are you.?" I responded with equal aplomb, 'cos I was trying to keep from completing the evenings entertaunment if you get my drift, "I'm great thanks". He curled his lip as only an MOD Gestapo Officer could and said, "I asked WHO are you not HOW are you.?" Have you ever tried to find your wallet with your ID in the back pocket of a pair of trousers in the dark.?? I can never pass by the tower at GLA without looking and remembering.!!
There is one Lady Prooner who confessed once to having it away on the dusty runway at Birdsville during the Fly in Races. She still, (I believe) has the skid mark from the tyre down her backside. (Well....what skid mark did you think.?? Just asking. :ok:

Whirlygig
10th May 2008, 23:23
When I was at college, they had the very old-fashioned lifts which had two doors; an external one and an internal one. By opening the internal door mid-way between floors, the lift could be stopped. The thickness of the floors (being a very old building) was very thick indeed!

Cheers

Whirls

Buster Hyman
11th May 2008, 02:10
....Okay....maybe not THAT pool then.....:bored:

Binoculars
11th May 2008, 15:05
There is one Lady Prooner who confessed once to having it away on the dusty runway at Birdsville during the Fly in Races.

That reminds me, Reddo. You never did answer my question posted in another thread....to wit, http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?p=4087647&highlight=reddo#post4087647

The relevant part follows.....Must confess I was stumped a few years ago when I was addressed by someone named Chief Chook, from her profile apparently a FA. The writer was a delightful young lady of my acquaintance (well, she used to be young, like me) who fortunately made it clear by her references to past, err, events, who she was. But the whole thing didn't add up, and finally I was forced to assume that said lady chanced upon a public computer which said Chief Chook was online, and decided to have some fun.

Something tells me Redsnail was involved in this as well, since it coincided with a visit to Cairns, perhaps for her wedding, but I could be wrong. Well, Reddo? Care to fess up and finally satisfy my curiosity?

fitliker
11th May 2008, 19:46
On the threshold of what we thought was an unused runway ,we called it touch and goes .With moonlight through the pines ,warm smell of the paper mill and tobacco plant and then the runway lights went on ah KMAC ,always on my mind .What was her name again ???

rotaryman
11th May 2008, 22:33
Reminds me of the time i was watching a TV Bloopers Show!

The host asked the Question of the Female!

" weres the most unusual place you have had sex " ?

She replied......... In The ASS JIM.....In The ASS....:}:eek:

Rush2112
14th May 2008, 05:02
Back in the dim and distant I had a girlfriend who worked night shifts on the isolation ward (G1) of the West Suffolk Hospital: I had a summer job as a cleaner there. G1 was not the busiest of wards and usually only had one staff, viz., her. The Sister's office was not the most romantic place but at 19, who needs romance?

In later life, the current Mrs R and I had a few days in Bali in a private villa, with pool and garden, at the Sofitel. It was *very* private...

TWOTBAGS
14th May 2008, 08:23
a) Intersection of two runways.... on a lielow...... until some [email protected] activated the PAL!

b) above Mach1....

Flingingwings
14th May 2008, 10:52
Over an ex bosses desk..................

With HIS wife :E

Ah happy days :ok:

Lindstrim
14th May 2008, 13:38
a Under my old high schools sign on the main rd

Le Pen
14th May 2008, 19:46
Boy, there are a few old names there at the beginning.... Wonder where (or who) they are now.

Pleased to report that (from page 4) I'm spending much more time at home! :ok:

Love

LP

smuff2000
15th May 2008, 13:16
On a lakeside rock whilst watching another couple doing the same thing nearby.

Would love to join the proverbial mile high club but age etc precludes!

sitigeltfel
15th May 2008, 13:32
On the 18th green on the Old Course at St Andrews.

In the "Valley of sin", no doubt ;)

Binoculars
15th May 2008, 13:58
Should have been the 17th, surely? The Rode Hole?

larssnowpharter
15th May 2008, 17:58
In the "Valley of sin", no doubt

Nossir!

We had chipped onto the green and were set up for a nice par four until.......:E

Kerosine
15th May 2008, 18:21
Best place? 19th Hole on the golf course.

I'll get me coat..

AcroChik
15th May 2008, 22:36
On the CFI's desk.

I was the CFI.

Not with a student.

david1300
17th May 2008, 11:30
If this Choppers rockin' don't come knockin':
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJjFlpQPVHU&feature=related

CathayBrat
17th May 2008, 11:41
1) Back seat of a C210 3000 ft over the serengetti:}

2) First class seats/cabin of singapore's A380:E