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View Full Version : A chicken walks into a bookshop......


Turnup
7th Mar 2002, 20:40
A chicken walks into a bookshop, up to the counter and says:. .. ."Buk". .. .The salesman grabs a book off of the best-seller shelf, drops it on the counter and says:. .. ."Book!". .. .To the salesman's utter amazement, the chicken pays for the book with the exact money, picks the book up, and leaves the shop.. .. .Next day that chicken is back in the bookshop, up to the counter again and says:. .. ."Buk, buk". .. .The salesman grabs another two books, drops them on the counter and says:. .. ."Book, book". .. .The chicken pays with the exact money, takes the books, and leaves the shop.. .. .Next day the chicken is back again, up to the counter and says:. .. ."Buk, buk, buk". .. .The salesman is getting used to this, he grabs three books, drops them on the counter and says:. .. ."Book, book, book". .. .The chicken pays, takes the books and leaves the shop.. .. .The salesman can't stand it any more. Things are quiet in the bookshop so he quickly takes his coat, closes up the shop, and sets out to follow the chicken. As he is locking the shop he can see the chicken at the far end of the high street turning a corner. The clerk hurries along the street and reaches the corner just in time to see the chicken cross the road and enter the local park. The clerk follows at the run and as he enters the park he spots the chicken heading towards the lake. Tiring, the clerk runs across the park and up to the chicken, which is now beside a lily pad at the edge of the lake. The clerk is winded and can do nothing but pant and watch and listen as the chicken passes each book, one at a time to a frog which is sitting on the lily pad. Three times the chicken passes a book to the frog and each time it says:. .. ."Buk". .. .and each time, the frog looks at the book and says:. .. ."Redit". .. .[ducks and runs]

TowerDog
7th Mar 2002, 21:49
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

RW-1
7th Mar 2002, 22:24
Damn this weather Dog,. .. .What U up to ?

Hagbard the Amateur
7th Mar 2002, 22:43
Two ducks flying over Belfast.... .. .One says "Quack!". .The other says "I'm goin as quack as I can bejeezus.". .. .The definition of kinkiness;. .Using a feather. .The definition of perversion;. .Using the whole bloody chicken. .. .OK - I'll get me coat <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

TowerDog
7th Mar 2002, 22:43
Easing the pain with beer.. .What aobut ya?

Crotalus
8th Mar 2002, 05:57
ballymena surely?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

Gunner B12
8th Mar 2002, 05:58
Three Little Pigs.. .. .The mind of a six year old is wonderful. This is a true story.. .. .A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.. .. .She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?" The teacher paused then asked the class:. .. ." And what do you think the man said?". .. .One little boy raised his hand and said: "I think the man said: "F~CK ME! A talking pig!". .. .The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Cyclic Hotline
8th Mar 2002, 08:48
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.. .. .The egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off.. .. .The egg mutters to no one in particular,. ."Well, I guess we answered THAT question!" . .. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="smile.gif" />

RW-1
9th Mar 2002, 00:43
Same ole same ole my friend.. .. .Nothing new, though I did escape the purge at work. Kinda like the inquisition without the knowledge that when you die you don't have to deal with those idiots anymore. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

Blue Hauler
9th Mar 2002, 15:23
A bloke walked into a pub with a frog on his head.. .. .The barman, looking up at the frog said to the bloke: "Geeze mate, where did you get that?". .. .The frog replied: "Started off as a wart on me bum three days ago!"

con-pilot
9th Mar 2002, 23:38
This guy moves out to the country from the big city to become a farmer. He decides that he needs to buy a donkey to have on his new farm. Therefore he goes to his new neighbor on the adjoining farm and buys a donkey.. .. .The farmer tells the city slicker that he will sell him a donkey for a hundred dollars but he will not be able to deliver the donkey until next week.. .. .The next week the farmer goes over to the city slicker and tells him that the donkey died and he will give the hundred dollars back.. .. .The city slicker tells the farmer that he does not want his money back he wants the donkey.. .. .The farmer again points out that the donkey is dead and wants to know what he wants a dead donkey for.. .. .The city slicker says that he will hold a lottery and sell tickets for 2 dollars each to his friends in the city. The farmer agrees and delivers the deceased donkey.. .. .A couple of weeks later the farmer goes back to the city slicker and asks what happen to the donkey and the results of the lottery.. .. .The city slicker replies, “Oh, I buried the donkey that day and sold 450 tickets. Made 898 dollars.”. .. .The farmer asks, “What about the person that won the donkey?”. .. .The city slicker replied, “I told the guy that the donkey died and gave him his 2 dollars back.”. .. . <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="biggrin.gif" />

DVR6K
10th Mar 2002, 18:59
Ok then.... .. .A bloke walks into a bar with a chicken and mushroom pie on his head. He orders his drink and the barman says "Mate, do you know you´ve got a chicken and mushroom pie on your head?". .. .The bloke replies "Yeah, I always have a chicken and mushroom pie on my head on Tuesdays".. .. .Barman says "But it´s Wednesday" to which the bloke replies "Oh bollocks, I must look like a right ****.". .. .hehe.

Huck
10th Mar 2002, 21:52
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife.. .. .Feeling playful, he squeezed her ta-ta's. "You know, if I could get these to give milk, I could get rid of the cow!". .. .She rolled over. He grabbed her bum and said, "And if I could get this to give eggs, I could get rid of the chickens!". .. .She rolled back over and grabbed his crotch. "And if I could get THIS to work, I could get rid of your brother!"

con-pilot
11th Mar 2002, 01:57
Ok, one more.. .. .Two blonds walk into a building.. .. .You would have thought one of them would have noticed the building.