View Full Version : Rules of the air

6th Nov 2001, 03:48
Rules of the Air

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

6th Nov 2001, 05:18

Operations of aircraft as set forth by the
Untied States Air Service

1. Donít take the machine into the air unless you are satisfied it will fly.
2. Never leave the ground with the motor leaking.
3. Donít turn sharp when taxiing. Instead turn short, have someone lift the tail around.
4. When taking off, look at the ground and the air.
5. Never get out of a machine with the motor running until the pilot relieving you can reach the engine controls.
6. Pilots should carry hankies in a handy position to wipe off goggles.
7. Riding on the steps, wings or tail of a machine is prohibited.
8. In case the engine fails on takeoff, land straight ahead regardless of obstacles.
9. No machine must taxi faster than a man can walk.
10. Do not trust altitude instruments.
11. Learn to gauge altitude, especially on landing.
12. If you see another machine near you, get out of the way.
13. No two cadets should ever ride together in the same machine.
14. Never run motor so that blast will blow on other machines.
15. Before beginning a landing glide, see that no machines are under you.
16. Hedge-hopping will not be tolerated.
17. No spins on back or tail slides will be indulged in as they put unnecessary strain on the machine.
18. If flying against the wind, and you wish to turn and fly with the wind, donít make a sharp turn near the ground. You might crash.
19. Motors have been known to stop during a long glide. If pilot wishes to use motor for landing, he should open the throttle.
20. Donít attempt to force the machine onto the ground with more than flying speed. The result is bouncing and ricocheting.
21. Pilots will not wear spurs while flying.
22. Do not use aeronautical gasoline in cars or motorcycles.
23. You must not take off or land closer than 50 feet to the hanger.
24. Never take a machine into the air until you are familiar with its controls and instruments.
25. If emergency occurs while flying, land as soon as you can.

6th Nov 2001, 17:11

I believe that point 24 should read: "The FOUR most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago AND THE PROMISE OF A PAYRISE FROM THE MANAGEMENT.

gravity victim
6th Nov 2001, 17:39
Pilots never, ever run out of fuel. From time to time however they do suffer from 'fuel contamination' (i.e air in the tank.) :)

Send Clowns
7th Nov 2001, 20:50
Yellow side up :D (amend for your aircraft's livery)

Send Clowns
8th Nov 2001, 06:00
Oh and to add to 'number 24' the fifth most useless thing is the fuel in the bowser.

8th Nov 2001, 07:52
And keep the dirty side down. Be nice to yer co-pilot, don't this, do that, etc.

All good stuff and most of it useful, yet after a few years in this business, what matters is how good yer crystal ball is:

Flying is easy: Be conserative, use common sense and don't try to be a "cowboy".
The hard part is to fly for a living and actually make a living of it:
A good half of previous airlines are no longer operating.
Choosing airlines to work for is like choosing yer parents: Choose carefully, otherwise ya may have problems in the future.

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

8th Nov 2001, 15:51
When you are in a situation where you are totally dependent on the equipment, take time to remember it was made by the lowest bidder :eek: