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Billy The Squid
14th Feb 2004, 11:26
I thought it about time that some of the sports that we currently enjoy were updated to go with the times we live in (plus as yet Sky haven't bought the rights for these if you're reading BBC sports dept).....

1) Hand grenade tennis - A sort of russian roulette meets Wimbledon. A pin is pulled on the grenade at time of serve and the 'loser' ends up in several pieces. Might encourage a few more rallies!

2) Death star poker - A sharp ninja death-star is secreted amongst the pack of cards and someone who calls 'hit me' gets just that.

3) Bear trap football - Ok so now you're getting the idea. Picture it...Michael Owen bearing down on goal, one-on-one with the keeper and WHOOSH....he disappears down a grassed over bear pit disguising a 30ft drop

I did also have an idea to liven up Formula 1 using Police speed traps and zebra crossings......but that's just silly!

Anyone got anymore?

Ascend Charlie
14th Feb 2004, 13:32
Road Runner Rallying:

The cars are skooching through a winding mountain road, when SPLAT! The first car has a huge rock dropped on it from above. The second car takes a convenient bypass, and runs into the rock wall, cunningly painted to look like the road goes through a tunnel...

Beep beep NOW, you [email protected]!

Bathurst Burr Rodeo:

Similar to a regular buckjumping competition, but instead of a saddle, there is a hessian bag full of prickly burrs, and the cowboy has to ride bareback, i.e. no pants. Just watch the funny bow-legged walk afterwards.

Chicken Football:




Hang on, your imagination is way ahead of me here! This has nothing to do with kicking a fowl around a patch.

It is a game where the players are allowed to wear as much armour as they can carry, to avoid getting hurt. Even helmets with big face guards, teeth guards, cr0tch guards, padded pants. They can stop the game as many times as they like, to catch a breath, touch up their makeup, replace a false eyelash, etc.
They can have as many substitutions as they like, so there could be one team for "attack", one for "defense", and the tricky part of this "football" game is that you can't touch the ball with your foot, except for the start of the game, and for a shot at goal if somebody catches the ball thrown to them in the scoring area.

Ohhhhh..... the [email protected] have already done this?

Bu99er - OK, bring back the feathered fowl again, and let me think...

Jerricho
14th Feb 2004, 13:48
Lets see some good old, real life Deathmatches.

Worried about the upcoming US election.........let's Deathmatch Bush vs Kerry. WMD's? - Saddam and Bush, the ring is over there. Job interviews..........no lenghtly selection process - last man standing gets the position.

Thirty06
15th Feb 2004, 06:43
Cave gliding:

Fly down Wooky (sp?) hole on a paraglider, slalom merrily round the stalactites.

Moto Skeet:

Ride a figure eight moto cross course while your armed pillion shoots clays released from traps arranged round the course.

Possibly less exciting would be:

Non violent summer biathlon:

Run round a hundred mile course and stop to gather berries occasionally.

Jerrichos MIL
15th Feb 2004, 07:59
Lets see some good old, real life Deathmatches.

Me vs the 'son in law' :E :ok:

BlueDiamond
15th Feb 2004, 09:40
How about a combination 100 metres sprint and "clay" target shoot??

:E :E

airship
15th Feb 2004, 12:04
Couldn't sleep, so here goes nothing... :O

Big-Game Hunting - rich imbeciles track and shoot ex. zoo and circus lions etc. I know this is old hat, but it hasn't yet been televised live.

Real-World Rally - acclaimed drivers take bog-standard Citroens without roll-cages or nail-studded tyres and attempt 150kph average speeds on Finnish winter tracks. Should attract huge audiences like Formula 1 of yesteryear, but may be short-lived because of a shortage of new contestants.

One G.I. & His .50 Calibre - could 1 man, assisted by a loader and unlimited ammunition, manage the humane destruction of our unwanted pets if these are produced at the rate of 30 animals per minute? Will the gun overheat, will he keel over from exhaustion or will we run out of animals? Vote now and you might be the lucky winner of our all-inclusive 7 day holiday to Ibiza for 2!

League Football (Soccer), Best Actor Awards - you know the situation, the player behaves as if he's sustained multiple open fractures and yet manages to resume play after a few minutes. We know that actors can become Presidents, so footballers should not give up...!

Feel sleepy now...:bored:

Jerricho
15th Feb 2004, 19:39
No fair...............we all know you're in league with the Devil! I ain't taking that risk.