View Full Version : U.S. DoD to establish 'Sexual Assault Task Force'

Ian Corrigible
14th Feb 2004, 08:24
No, really, that’s what it says here (http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/2004/nr20040213-0347.html). Apparently, it’s the latest in ‘non-lethal’ warfare, and is the result of years of study by the RAND Corporation.

Rather than bombing one’s enemy to smithereens (and receiving all the usual flack that this brings from the UN, Amnesty, etc.), this new Task Force – which joins the esteemed ranks of the other major military forces such as the SAS and the Navy Seals – will be deployed to areas of major international tension to pinch the bottoms of the locals and prosecute a campaign of psychological warfare based on sexual innuendo (Bernard Manning has already been contacted to assist the development of this effort). The crack force will be issued with the latest in personal weaponry, including the Black Mamba and The Intruder (as seen in the movie Top Secret!).

Actually, on re-reading the announcement I may have misunderstood. That’s a relief. For a moment there, I was having visions of the drill squad from Monty Pythons’ And Now For Something Completely Different being deployed to Kosovo…



West Coast
14th Feb 2004, 13:50
If you can't beat, pork 'em.

14th Feb 2004, 14:06
Sounds like a rejected Benny Hill script.

WE Branch Fanatic
15th Feb 2004, 04:48
A few years ago I suggested that the CIA should claim that Saddam was importing blow up dolls and penis enlargement devices - to discredit his macho image.

Since I thought of it first - can I have a reward please Mr Rumsfield?

West Coast
15th Feb 2004, 05:23
Rummy's things to do list:

1. Send one brand new penis enlargement kit to WEBF.

WE Branch Fanatic
15th Feb 2004, 05:30
Thanks - but......;) :rolleyes: No need.....

West Coast
15th Feb 2004, 05:46
No need but because its unused or your soon to embark in a career in the movies there Mr Holmes....

15th Feb 2004, 12:38
That's all we need, a suggestion that GIs may have been inconsiderately humping in Iraq.

"Of all the times, in all the wars and in all the countries where the USA has fought, Ellen Embrey had to walk into mine..." :uhoh: