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Ric Capucho
13th Feb 2004, 21:51
We Brits have four Trident submarines, each armed to the teeth with sixteen Trident D5 missiles, each of which can carry twelve nuclear warheads.

Phew, that means we've got something like 4 x 16 x 12 nukes, which is, er, loads and loads. And nobody to play with! What a waste! What a disappointment! Imagine those poor submariners sat in their stinky clothes, running their fingers over those weapons panels, with lots of flashing lights and stuff...

Metallic voice on intercom: "Attention! Arm Missile 11's warheads, and load it into the launch tube".

Missile bloke (sulky): "No bloody point, we never get to fire 'em anyway".

Intercom: "Just do it!"

Missile bloke: "But why? You'll just make me unload it again, and then disarm the nukes. Complete waste of time. Not doing it."

Intercom: "Just bloody well load it, Terence, or I'll confiscate your teddy bear".

(pause)

Missile: "Teddy? Noooooo, not teddy! Er... nukes armed now, sir... loading commenced..."

See? This sort of thing is bad for morale. Our underwater lads need a boost, sooooooo, what city (or cities, or nation, or nations) would you nuke to glass, and why?

Ric

Ozzy
13th Feb 2004, 22:00
Hey Ric, how's the new addition to the family doing?

Another question, does the target get to fire back or not?:uhoh:

Ozzy

Gainesy
13th Feb 2004, 22:02
Crawley.

Southern Counties Landrover, to be precise.

The spares department if its really accurate.

But if yer want to cheer up HM Forces, drop a few buckets of sunshine on Whitehall.:E

Chaffers
13th Feb 2004, 22:04
I'd say Liverpool but most of it looks as though a nuke has gone off there anyway...

Ric Capucho
13th Feb 2004, 22:07
The target is most certainly *not* allowed to fire back.

One believes that, in these post-Cold War times, there's little chance of any retaliation to yer average pre-emptive strike.

Fire with impunity! We got the nukes! Where do we target them?

Ric

p.s. The government did in fact do most of the 1950s nuclear testing in Liverpool, Mr Chuffers. They had to stop when there was an outcry: vases were rattling off the shelves of good, Mancunian homes. Collateral damage, you see.

Of course the Scousers complained too; there was about 15 shilling's worth of damage done to their proud and historic city.

noisy
13th Feb 2004, 22:23
Milton Keynes

Stoke on Trent

Andover, Hampshire

Watford

Camden Town

some of my least favorite places

although I fear that if camden town was nuked the freaks would just get bigger and stronger

Ozzy
13th Feb 2004, 22:28
No retaliation?? Where's the fun then??:(

Ozzy

Grainger
13th Feb 2004, 22:35
Scottish Gas head office. :mad:

G-ALAN
13th Feb 2004, 22:38
erm Belgium, what an utterly boring little country, besides it doesn't really do much anyway other than just sit there and be boring. Glasgow can follow and then Birmingham.

Ozzy
13th Feb 2004, 22:45
**** it, my finger's getting itchy. Okay, drop a bucket of sunshine on Wales - who needs it anyway? Then Buenos Aires, remember 1982, well here's some more. Now then, ah yes, lights out for France - well did anyone expect anything less of me:E And finally in the first round let's lop off all Little Chefs on Britains road network - for every fecking over priced "sarnie" ever sold by those barstewards...there I feel better now:}

Ozzy

tony draper
13th Feb 2004, 22:48
You have obviously been informed by the Swiss Navy Intelligence branch Mr Ric, each Trident 2 carries four mirved warheads of 182 kilotons yield each, accurate to within ten meters over 8000 miles, so we no longer need those vulgar multi megaton buckets of sunshine, saying that, we could still make a right mess of the EEC with that lot.
May one also nominate Sunderland??
:rolleyes:

xlax
13th Feb 2004, 23:09
And a second vote for creepy Crawley!

And what's all this Liverpool bashing - my girlfriend's from Liverpool. At least let me know when the drop is scheduled so I can send her home for the weekend... :D

Jerricho
13th Feb 2004, 23:11
Oh, big vote for West Drayton..............

(just make it after Feb 29 please!)

BillHicksRules
13th Feb 2004, 23:41
I would vote for half a dozen warheads taking out Manchester. My only concern is, would anyone notice the difference apart from the automatic rise in the national average IQ by about 50 points.

After that maybe a couple on the ****** who nicked my car in 1992.

After that an attack on the ITV network so as to rid us of the worst excesses of reality TV.

A couple along the San Andreas fault So that property I have in Arizona becomes beachfront.

Obviously I would have to take out Washington, London, Moscow, Beijing and various other annoyances.

After that I would have to stop and think.

Cheers

BHR

Jerricho
13th Feb 2004, 23:53
I see you've thought about this before then!

Caslance
14th Feb 2004, 01:49
I would vote for half a dozen warheads taking out Manchester. In light of the inevitable heavy collateral damage this would cause to the city on the right side of the Irwell, I vote for a pre-emptive strike on Scotland (or wherever else BHR keeps his nukes).

And Halifax.

So there! :p

Chaffers
14th Feb 2004, 01:54
Theres nothing in Salford worth pissing on, never mind nuking. :)

Diesel8
14th Feb 2004, 01:58
Anywhere in France would be fine, all of it would be better. Belgium is quite boring, so what the heck. N. Ireland, they can all go to their God of choice, but for fark sake, don't hit Ireland itself.

Caslance
14th Feb 2004, 01:58
Hello, Chaffers.

I have to disagree with you. Ordsall is well worth weeing on. (Oooohh - the language you get from these Mancs! :ooh: )

ORAC
14th Feb 2004, 03:07
I'm not sure that all of Scotland deserves to get hit, and Prestwick might merit a tactical nuke, but I'd certainly vote for a 5Mt sea burst off Peterhead. It could do millions of pounds worth of inprovements.

Goodbye high security prison, power station tower, Cross & Blackwell fish factory, lighthouse foghorn....... :E

Chaffers
14th Feb 2004, 03:14
I must remember that if ever I happen to be in the Ordsall area with a full bladder.

Hull should get plenty of sunshine with Wales a close second.

Flypuppy
14th Feb 2004, 04:08
Coventry, oh yes, most definately Coventry....

Anywhere that uses the title "New Town" or Garden City

Lagos, Warri and Port Harcourt would also be candidates but no-one would notice the difference, so not worth the bother.

Belgium is also a good choice, it is after all a country that was created primarily for the 18th/19th & 20th century powers to use a battlefield. Just need a secret sign so I can get my sunglasses and factor 5,000,000 sun cream on.

Chaffers
14th Feb 2004, 04:17
I rather enjoyed the food in Brussels, couldn't we just nuke the parts without good restaurants or something?

Caslance
14th Feb 2004, 04:19
That would still be Belgium, then........:E

We could always spare the breweries, though. :ok:

MadsDad
14th Feb 2004, 04:21
Port Talbot

Luton

Port Talbot

Mansfield (at 10 metre accuracy, 193 Chesterfield Rd.)

Port Talbot

Warrington

Port Talbot

Newcastle

And don't forget Port Talbot

Chaffers
14th Feb 2004, 04:44
Well if you want to be specific then Rhyl, Denbigh, Cardiff, Blannae Festiniog, Merthyr Tydfil and all the other shite towns in Wales.

Would keep Aberystwyth, and anywhere else with a decent cricket team, though as its protected by lots of mountains I reckon it would be safe anyway.

Caslance
14th Feb 2004, 06:11
But Port Talbot's already been nuked, hasn't it?

At least, it seemed that way last time I was there......:ooh:

And let us not underestimate the nukeworthiness of Eston (Cleveland).

A sh*te-hole of the highest ordure, but without the hole................

Techman
14th Feb 2004, 06:17
While you are at it, why not just hit all of the UK. That would at least put an end to that annoying whining noise coming from the channel tunnel.

SuperOwl
14th Feb 2004, 08:38
Bramall Lane

Elland Road

Highbury (Only for the '92-'93 season)

White Hart Lane

The Stadium of Light ( Is this OK with you Drapes?)

Stamford Bridge

Old Trafford (Not the cricket ground)

Woff1965
14th Feb 2004, 12:25
Nuking Port Talbot would just push up property prices!

Don't Nuke Cardiff - I quite like Cardiff there are some good pubs in town and if it got nuked we couldn't give the Scots a good kicking in the Millenium Stadium on Saturday (this may be edited if we lose).

Merthyr Tydfil deserves to burn, glow and become highly glazed (in a melted kind of way) - horrible dump.

Teignmouth gets 4 Mirv'd warheads - first place I was ever refused service in a pub because the landlord said "we don't like people like you!"

Pub across the road from Olympia whose landlord chucked us out when I retaliated to anti-Welsh gibes by asking him if he hated the Welsh for burning down his holiday cottage - (apparently we did) :ok:

Fox TV headquarters for crimes against humanity, good taste and for cancelling Futurama.

Colchester for being such a weird town.

Cambridge - too many cyclists!

Oxford - for being a bit close to Cambridge.

:mad: German :mad: living in Kings Lynn (she knows who she is!!!).

The Gatso factory and Holland for allowing them to escape from the country.

Cliff Richard, the studio they film Pop Idol in and the Granada studios in Manc where they do Coronation St.

Anyone who thinks Garth Marenghi is funny!

West Coast
14th Feb 2004, 13:49
Omaha and Colorado Springs come to mind.

LA wouldn't be a bad choice though it would likely only bounce the existing rubble.

Jerricho
14th Feb 2004, 14:01
Tasmania.............but then again who would notice? :p

Gainesy
14th Feb 2004, 15:44
WELL????
C'mon, where's the nukes then? Crawley is still there. :suspect:

Caslance
14th Feb 2004, 16:55
Crawley is still there. I'd say that was punishment enough in itself. Wouldn't you? :E

Ozzy
15th Feb 2004, 01:00
Done some more mulling and I suggest Birmingham, San Francisco, Dublin, Vladivostock, Lagos, and Ipswich be added to the mission.:E

Ozzy

Capn Notarious
15th Feb 2004, 04:30
How about Anthony Carns difficult neighbours : see other thread.

Say again s l o w l y
15th Feb 2004, 04:35
All council estates, especially high-rise ones. If no nukes are available, then Napalm would be acceptable but it would need 2 goes to make sure you got 'em.

Jerricho
15th Feb 2004, 04:39
Or a nice F.A.E. .................. we could always test it on West Drayton!

ZK-NSJ
15th Feb 2004, 06:15
parliament buildings in wellington,

Jerrichos MIL
15th Feb 2004, 07:53
Definitely West Drayton ... before 29th Feb and when the wretched son in law is on duty !!!

Mind you, he'd probably survive :{ they say that cockroaches can survive thermo nuclear blasts !!

galaxy flyer
16th Feb 2004, 02:13
My suggestions:

Warner-Robins, GA

--Eliminating the Command HQ, might let those beavering away at the coal face get their jobs done right

East St Louis, IL

--Ugliest place in the whole USA, bar none. I challenge anyone for a better entry

SFO and Vermont

-- Both are quite beautiful to look at and visit, but populated with the most supercilious people on the planet. Except for the Upper West Side of NY, from whence they came.

AeroSpark
16th Feb 2004, 03:49
Portsmouth, with the airburst directly above Fratton Park. And can we have one on standby aimed at Rupert Lowes pad, just in case he does appoint :mad: Hoddle again:*

The Invisible Man
16th Feb 2004, 04:02
On my mate Marcel.
:*


(See scams assorti thread)

cumulus
16th Feb 2004, 04:36
Art thou a Scummer, Aerospark?;)

(Mods: I am not calling him scum, it is merely the affectionate name that the natives of Portsmouth use for the natives of Southampton)

AeroSpark
16th Feb 2004, 05:21
Guilty as charged Cumulus. I take it by that comment that you must be a Skate:p

(note to mods: i'm not accusing him of being a fish.....)

Well played today btw

Ric Capucho
16th Feb 2004, 22:49
Well, relieved that sundry Welsh targets have been nominated, Scottish and Irish too, and of course "East Belfast", otherwise known as "Scouse". Good nominations, all.

But one feels that the M62 motorway (and environs) has somehow been overlooked...

You will please note that all Yorkshire towns within 10 miles of the M62 motorway are complete and utter sh1tholes: and the whole bloody motorway leads to Hull anyways. So, all of the M62 (and a 20 mile strip) east of Manchester needs nuking. Right.

Hmm, might as well start at Oldham, eh, and the rest of Manchester north of the city centre. And to the west of Manchester, we have Salford, Warrington and Liverpool.

Yep, nuke the whole strip, east to west.

Ok, we need a very BIG and very THIN nuke to take out the whole of the M62 and everything along it.

Oh, and also that annoying farmhouse half way across the Pennines where the 'plucky' farmer refused to sell, therefore forcing the constructors to leave a huge farm 'island' between the M62 east/west carriageways, costing millions (and months) extra. That farm needs it's own special little nuke just to teach the smug git a lesson. Pin a note to it: "Best Wishes from the Road Ministry".

Ric

Mr Chips
16th Feb 2004, 23:01
May I back up the Aussie ones thoughts on nuking West Drayton? The whole town please.. and could you leave a note afterwards to say that you have done so, to avoid any confusion (have you SEEN the place???)

And Wembley Stadium, just after they have finished wasting time and money on it, cos that would make me laugh!!!

And 10 Downing Street (goes without saying really!)

Mr Chips
back again

Capt.KAOS
16th Feb 2004, 23:57
Talking about WMD's. I remember a cunning plan by the Allies in WW2 to drop squirrels with incendiaries tied to their tails on the Black Forest, hoping it would burn down completely.

Blacksheep
17th Feb 2004, 09:35
...and I thought that marooning him between the carriagways, instead of routing the whole thing around him as he expected, was meant to teach him a lesson ric ;)

I'd like to nominate Heathrow Airport. Then we can start again from a clean sheet. If the nuke is big enough it could take care of Hayes and Staines at the same time.

....and perhaps a very small one to vapourize Hatfield town centre but leave the DeHavilland Campus alone.

tony draper
17th Feb 2004, 11:36
I have a idea, why not nuke Australia?---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------again.

:rolleyes:

cloudcover
17th Feb 2004, 14:13
I love the way britons choose to send 360 nuclear bombs
to NEIGHBOURING CITIES!:ok:

Who the hell would make good comedy without the UK!??
The US!!:yuk:

Gainesy
17th Feb 2004, 17:47
OK Cloudcover, so as not to appear selfish: Wellington.

And...erm, ah **** it, can't think of any other place in NZ without consulting a map.

Ah yes, Newark (UK and US varieties).

Ric Capucho
17th Feb 2004, 18:37
That Bikini Atoll in the South Pacific is just askin' ferrit... lots of vulgar American 1950s radiation mucking up the place. We could clear it all up with a nice, modern British nuke, leaving behind a neat, well-bred crater in the coral bed.

With regards to our dear Cousins laughing at the Brits for choosing to nuke their own industrial cities... if we even breathed the name of an American city as a target-in-jest, then there'd be an immediate ironic-humour-failure, and this thread would be reported en masse to the FBI as a "serious threat to homeland security".

Images of Ric Capucho and chums, unshaven, wearing orange all-in-ones, would appear on the world's media, as they're carted off to Guatanamo Bay, never to reappear.

Ric

cloudcover
17th Feb 2004, 18:43
It funny you mention that, I was gonna nominate Washington D.C
but thought...no...wait:yuk:

tony draper
17th Feb 2004, 18:54
Well there is the original Washington, Tyne and Wear, the one the cousins copied the name from off, it is now classed as part of Sunderland,so obviously one has no philosophical objection to it being glassed over.
Tiz about seven miles from Draper towers so dial the yield down to about five k please.


:rolleyes:

Ric Capucho
17th Feb 2004, 20:14
Hmm, that's triggered a train of thought; we could secretly nominate USA cities by referring to the original European places. They'll never rumble us!

So, (wink wink) I nominate...


York, Yorkshire, UK
Los Angeles, Analusia, Spain
Washington, Sunderland, UK
Boston, Lincolnshire, UK
Newark, Yorkshire, UK

Er, the last two're for real. Boston and Newark in the UK really are dumps.

Ric

Ozzy
17th Feb 2004, 20:35
Images of Ric Capucho and chums, unshaven, wearing orange all-in-ones, would appear on the world's media, as they're carted off to Guatanamo Bay, never to reappear. yer know, there's worse things than living on a Caribbean island 365 days a year, fully inclusive eating arrangements, free English lessons for us Brummies, free clothes, no taxes, free flights in, and 24 security guard service on the grounds of the resort. **** it, let's nuke Texas and book our trips :E

Ozzy

Sultan Ismail
18th Feb 2004, 10:48
And why no mention of Bradford, the Yorkshire variety, or are you afraid the Pakis will send one back.

Mind you it is a good example of what a place would look like after its moment of sunshine.

Blacksheep
18th Feb 2004, 12:19
Is there any reason why nobody has nominated Doncaster yet? If not, I'll gladly add it to the list as long as we can have Corby at the same time...

arcniz
18th Feb 2004, 15:27
Basta ! - Have to say that I think you all are a feckless lot with this drivel.

Not one of you seems to have the industry and focus to carve up your real enemies and/or neighbors with a steak knife ( or better ) but you go tossing around waves of nuclear annihilation with yer slightly groggy glee.

Give this silly paradigm another accent and ten or twenty or thirty years and yer goin ter see it lighting up the sky somewhere.

Laugh then. Laugh yerself silly.

steamchicken
18th Feb 2004, 19:26
Hull, certainly..I suggest the airburst aiming point being roughly the centre spot of the KC Stadium, with a second ground burst to take out the telephone exchange and do in the annoying white phone boxes for good and all. As there are 4 MIRVs on the rocket, we may as well chuck in a water burst in the Humber to ensure the seawall and the tidal barrier are breached and the place floods. That leaves one...but there's Grimsby....it's a pity WE177s are no longer available as there is no excuse to fly under the Humber Bridge at Vexcessive...

May I second the suggestion of Staines, a poisonous dump? Apparently people have lived there for thousands of years, the line of the high street being pre-Roman. It just goes to show that some people never learn. And what about other southern dumps? Reading - the only city named after an activity none of its inhabitants can do? Bracknell? Perhaps best just to cover Surrey thoroughly and hope for southerly winds. Dover? (The Soviet Union, I hear, considered it a target for 2x1 megaton air bursts and 1x 1 sea burst, being the main reinforcement port for the British Army. It's just a pity about the immigrants.)

Overseas, I'd like to suggest Port Hedland, Western Australia,

HugMonster
18th Feb 2004, 22:27
Has anyone nominated Slough?

After all, it's a long-standing nomination - John Betjeman went for it in a very artistic manner. I'd be very happy to support his initiative.

Mostly Harmless
19th Feb 2004, 03:56
I think everyone is missing a golden opportunity. Let’s target sectors of society that REALLY NEED to be eliminated. Hold conventions for these people. The city is irrelevant, as the residents would know that they were sacrificing their lives for a greater cause.

4. T.V. and Advertising Executives.

3. All Politicians.

2. Lawyers. The primordial cesspool from which all politicians spawn.

1. The True leaders of the world… Accountants. That’s right, accountants. Want good T.V. shows, the accountants say it’s too expensive. Want to sue someone, lawyers have to check with the accountants first to see if it’s economically viable. Want Government services, the accountants decide if you’ll get them or not. Modern scapegoats, or secret evil rulers, the accountants have to go.

Kolibear
19th Feb 2004, 05:07
Its got to be Basildon! Use the Clock Tower in the Town Centre as the aiming point and do the world a favour.

Plan B is the entire East End of London.

Blacksheep
19th Feb 2004, 10:43
We know who you are and we know where you live, Mostly Harmless.

Most important of all we did a basic cost-benefit analysis supported by an assessment of the IRR and a discounted cash flow and determined that at discount rates above 6.25%, it is economically viable to target your house, as long as we resrict the yield to 250 Kilotons detonated at not less than 7,000 feet to minimse fallout effects.

Moving house won't save you either, we have friends in the mortgage industry! Just pray that they never raise the base rate by more than three quarters of a percentage point...

HomerJay
19th Feb 2004, 23:35
Hiroshima... oh no wait

Gainesy
19th Feb 2004, 23:44
Nevada don't usually mind.

IFTB
19th Feb 2004, 23:54
The "The really really boring and totaly pointless snippets of information thread" thread.

The Invisible Man
19th Feb 2004, 23:54
IFTB............One nuke


Ozzy...........One nuke


For not leaving me alone !!!!

IFTB
20th Feb 2004, 00:04
OK, OK...........

And the "Will you please stop reading this thread, it's private! " thread.

Ric Capucho
20th Feb 2004, 00:48
Both Bradford and Doncaster are within 10 miles of the M62, so I rest my case.

As regards Slough, that sets off a similar train of thought, as it happens to be within 10 miles of the M4 motorway:

London (a nice clear 20 miles wide corridor right into London)
Feltenham
Heathrow
Slough (sluff)
Bracknell
Reading (worth 2 nukes to make sure)
Hungerford (to prove that lightening does strike twice)
Bristol

(and then it gets interesting...)

Cardiff
Bridgend (there's lovely, see)
Port Talbot (worth 3 nukes)
Swansea (worth 4)

Hmm, I rather like this motorway concept...

Ric

p.s. IFTB needs two nukes... one for each cultural chip on his shoulders. Heh heh heh...

IFTB
20th Feb 2004, 00:52
Cultural trip???! :confused:

oh yea, can I nominate Metal Bridge? What would you want a place like that for?

BUMPFF
20th Feb 2004, 03:49
Below a line anywhere south of Watford. No, make that slightly north of Luton.

Mostly Harmless
20th Feb 2004, 05:52
Blacksheep - We know who you are and we know where you live, Mostly Harmless.

You see what I mean; these people are both dangerous and diabolical. I’m going to hide now.

The Invisible Man
20th Feb 2004, 06:27
That Friggin Cat !!!

tony draper
20th Feb 2004, 06:33
Instead of wasting all this Hydrazine and Lox, guidence systems rockets motors and such, why doesn't one of you go out into the garden and detonate a Cobalt salted 100 megaton triple stage thermo nuke, one believes Ivan has one for sale,now that would settle all these arguments.

:uhoh:

The Invisible Cat
20th Feb 2004, 06:39
Mr Invisible

You better make sure you can see this puddycat before aiming !

And I aint gonna smile :D :D :p :p :E :E

Northern Chique
20th Feb 2004, 13:09
Hey Mr Draper...

Your suggestion of nuking orstrarrlya (Australia) is invalid.

If you had visited our wide brown land, you would realise 2 things....

1. we already had been nuked...

2. most of australia looks like its been nuked and so would not make a sheckles worth of difference, thus wasting an invaluable resource.....

After that explanation, you still have an uncontrollable urge to nuke the Aussies, then might I make a suggestion or two.

Please consider that we are the largest island continant in the world and possibly the least populated with some 20million folks (most of em imports) spread over a land mass the size of the US of A. One would assume that specific targeting would make little difference.

Targeting tall poppies probably would not work either... we would just assume that its a "bit quiet out there" and return to our beer swilling and tv watching.

Our pollies, accountants and lawyers are all ensconced in the peculiar white building in Canberra, affectionately known as "the bomb shelter". Youre welcome to that!

An if smaller targets are more your thing, theres a bunch of small places around the NT that no-one would miss...

Oh yeah, one more..... "Crikey!"
you are welcome to start on his place in Qld! :p

pinjoint
20th Feb 2004, 13:17
Bollocks to you all
Hull is the gem of the north

Ric Capucho
20th Feb 2004, 16:54
If yer wanna use precision targetting on Australians, Herr D, you've got to chuck a small nuke at Earls Court, London. That'll bag yer about 25% of the Aussie population.

Drop another wee nuke on Pamplona (that's in Spain, that is) during the annual "Aussies running in front of the Spanish Moo-moo Cows" festival, and there's another 25%.

Incidentally, if you've a yen to extinguish the Kiwi culture (I know many people do) then simply nuke Sydney, Australia.

Ric

HomerJay
20th Feb 2004, 17:10
Switzerland ,with a message "thats what you get for knocking us out of Euro 2004 even though yous are pure crap"

Ric Capucho
20th Feb 2004, 17:23
Ahh, but then almost every property in Switzerland has a nuclear bomb shelter, Mr Homer. While your harmless bombs pop off above the Swiss, they'll be all cosy in their shelters, scoffing raclette and fondue, regaling themselves with witty skiing anecdotes, and relishing their eventual return to the surface.

And where will they find the money to rebuild their country?

Well, they have the assets of the world's richest people, and not a few of the world's richest governments, in two rather large nuclear attack proof safes. Think trillions upon trillions upon zillions, and you're still short.

Most of the accounts are discretely 'numbered' of course.

The only thing that links these considerable assets to their rightful owners is a spreadsheet. Down the A column is the name of the account holder. Down the B column is the account number. Down the C column is the account balance. Obviously, the C column is very very wide indeed. This spreadsheet naturally sits on a PC, which likewise sits in an office, which is not nuke bomb proofed at all.

Nuke Zürich, and the Swiss keep the dosh. Finders keepers, and no way to prove ownership.

Ric

phnuff
20th Feb 2004, 21:36
Stevenage - just total the damned place

BTW, I see Newark gets a few votes. Lighten up folks, they have enough problems as Jasper Carrot pointed out the other week that Newark is an anagram of ******

(wow, an automatic censor. Cool)

Ric Capucho
20th Feb 2004, 21:51
Hmm, and Stevenage is on the A1(M) motorway...

Lemme see...

North London
Stevenage
Wellington-Boot-Garden-City (for being so smug)
Peterborough
Newark (yes!)
Wakefield (yet again)
Sunderland
Newcastle upon Tyne

And one for each of the last remaining roundabouts. Oh, and one for Scotch Corner for not being in Scotland. Lying basturd.

Ric

phnuff
20th Feb 2004, 22:00
Hmm, and Stevenage is on the A1(M) motorway...

Its also under the approach to EGGW 26, so maybe Sleazy Orange jet could subtly drop the bomb for us :D

I agree about Welwyn GC too . - nothing there apart from John Lewis's, so it could be sacrificed. How about that other Garden City, Letchworth. Now that is a waste of concrete if ever I have seen one.

Of course, there is also White Hart Lane, but nothing much happens there anymore so why waste valuable fissile material
:ok:

watergate
20th Feb 2004, 22:17
Now that you have wiped out all of England, most of Australia and a good part of USA may I suggest that you concentrate your efforts on eliminating all EU offices on the Continent. There are many, so it will require a he.. of a lot of warheards. As a Danish citizen I will be most pleased when you report that the mission has been accomplished. :ok:

Stockpicker
20th Feb 2004, 22:29
Livingston, West Lothian - far too many roundabouts - even roundabouts with NAMES.

- a town that gave rise to the immortal line, "If life is for Livingston, what's Pumpherston for?"

G-ALAN
20th Feb 2004, 23:02
Yep agree with Livingston, what a dismal sh!thole and Cumbernauld can also go along with any other modern town or settlement where all the houses look the same and depressing electronic industrial estates :yuk: Would also like to nominate Belfast and Clapham and Birmingham, yet again (must be worth about 10).

pinjoint
21st Feb 2004, 01:39
lets just get rid of wales.

Frogbox
21st Feb 2004, 03:18
Somebody forgot to mention Norfolk. Seems like a sure way to improve the stoneage road transport system that the locals call roads. Most inept ...

Ric Capucho
22nd Feb 2004, 20:27
I suppose Thetford deserves what's coming to it. Spent many an hour at those soddin' traffic lights where the A11 threaded its way through the town centre.

The A11's been rerouted around the town now, so no delays, but one has a long memory for such things.

Ric