View Full Version : New crude dictionary......

15th Jun 2001, 19:54
Everyone has used a dictionary, but I feel there should be some new entries it is just too boring and needs to be revamped.We are all intellegant guys and girls so here are a few suggestions. It is upto us to create a dictionary of crude and rude words/sayings. Here goes to start the thread

1.beeriod (n). Weekly malady suffered by men after a night on the pop.
Symptons include headache, moodyness and a bloated stomach. "Leave me
alone, woman, my beeriod started this morning."
2. beer monkey (n). A mythical simian creature which, during a drunken
slumber, sneaks into your bed, ruffles your hair, steals your money and
shits in your mouth.
3. beer mugger (n). The man you discover has hit you over the head and
taken 35 quid out of your wallet the morning after you "nip out for a
couple of pints".
4. bongo mag (n). Rhythm literature, spangle book.
5. Bugner's eye (n). Flapless female genitalia, resembling Joe
Bugner's closed-up eye in any fight he's ever had.
6. butterface (n). A woman with a great figure, but the face of a
darts players' wife. From the phrase "A good body, but her face...".
7. change at Baker Street (v). During intercourse, to decide to play
the b-side. From the only station on the London Underground where it is
possible to change from the Pink Line ( Hammersmith & City ) to the
Brown Line ( Bakerloo ).
8. cheapies (n). Schoolboy sexual thrills. "Miss Pollard bent down to
pick up the chalk giving William his cheapies." ( from 'William stirs
below' by Richmal Compton ).
9. clown's pie (n). A very, very wet fanny. "Finding ourselves alone
in the shooting lodge at Balmoral, Her Majesty bade me descend to her
ladygarden. After 50 years of widowhood, I found her to be considerably
aroused. It was like being hit in the face with a clown's pie". (From
"The memoirs of Queen Victoria's Ghyllie" by John Brown ).
10. cock lodger (n). A bloke who lives in his bird's house without
paying rent.
11. cones are out (euph). ie, only one lane in use. ragweek.
12. dangermouse (n). a tampon.
13. docker's tea break (sim). Descriptive of something very long. "Oh,
what a tiny little man", laughed Veruca Salt as she saw the Oompah
Lumpah. "He may be small", cautioned Mr. Wonka as he turned briskly on
his heel, "but he'll have a cock as long as a docker's tea break." (From
'Charlie and the chocolate sandwich', by Roald Dahl.
14. fancy **** (v). To use an ugly bird's fanny to save wear and tear
on your hand.
15. full English breakfast (n). A very untidy vagina that is frankly
to much to face first thing in the morning.
16. Glasgow salad (n). chips.
17. jizziotherpay (n). A three minute one-handed massage that
relieves stiffness for up to half an hour.
18. pisshead's labourer (n). a barman.
19. rantallion (n). 18th c. One whose shot pouch is longer than the
barrel of his fouling piece.
20. shaking like a flatpack wardrobe (sim). descriptive of the female
equivalent of vinegar strokes.
21. slag wellies (n). Knee-high boots.
22. snatch patch (n). a feminine hygiene product.
23. spam butterfly (n). a finger assisted close-up pink shot in a
bongo mag.
24. stroke the dog through the letterbox (euph). to slide your hand
down the front of a lady's knickers.
25. woodpecker (n). a woman who performs rapid, hands-free felatio.
From the movement of the bird's head as she hammers your trunk.
26. world of leather (n). the parts of an aged lady. Granny's oysters.
27. yummy mummy 1.(n). A middle-aged woman worthy of a good seeing-to,
Helen Mirren. 2.(n). A young mother with a fantastic arse pushing
a buggy.


Ed Winchester
16th Jun 2001, 06:17

16th Jun 2001, 06:29
And as we all know, TS1's are just this month's!

Send Clowns
16th Jun 2001, 23:11
Alternative to your 'butterface' : Bobfoc, accronym, Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

'Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air'