View Full Version : The Lady is a Tramp

bugg smasher
4th Nov 2001, 08:28
I found myself at a counter-culture comedy club in Greenwich Village a couple of nights ago, my lovely but sometimes-persistent wife insisted, really. I was helpless to prevent it. In any event, there were some outrageously subversive ideas floating around that very smoky room, by your collective leave allow me to share one of the more interesting ones;

Osama says to his wife, “Honey, I’m just going out to fly an airliner into a tall building, here’s some grocery money, have a great day”. She replies, “That’s fine dear, but not until you’ve taken out the garbage, painted the bathroom, picked up Mohamed from school at four, and don’t forget little Fatima from her ballet lessons at five. If you still have the energy to do that airplane thing after that, well, boys will be boys.”

There is an infamous Italian lady journalist, Oriana Fallaci, who has contributed immeasurably to her infamy in the last week by publishing a scathing indictment of her fellow countrymen with regard to their ambivalent views on the current situation. The brunt of her irascible anger, however, is not limited to her fellow Italians. She contributes to the general cacophony by stating, “if the Muslim women allow themselves to be veiled and prevented from driving cars by those thugs, that is their problem. Modesty indeed!”

Interesting is it not? Viewing the claims of the extremists in that light, the supremely gentle and civilizing influence of a young mother with her pups in tow appears to have been completely and brazenly bulldozed. The picture begins to focus.

5th Nov 2001, 17:33
Bugg smasher

Umm, that counter-culture comedy club in Greenwich Village - do they sell that **** elsewhere? :cool:

bugg smasher
6th Nov 2001, 06:49
G’Day Mate,

Thanks for responding. My journalism efforts have never held Pprune front page for more than an hour or two, depressingly this is the first time I’ve been consigned to the locker room, without pay. Back to the drawing board in my hovel I guess, but since we’re here I don’t mind having a chat.

You’re correct in pointing out the nature of those comedy clubs in New York, albeit in a somewhat abbreviated format. I agree I have failed miserably in presenting my argument, but they do, however, manage to occasionally surface a concept or two worth taking a second look at.

Osama and his lot have crushed the civilizing female influence to the extent that adolescent boys run amok wild and unchecked, something I concede is likely not operative in the Antipodean experience. But their game is not the pursuit of what is right, it is a primitive and childishly self-serving attempt at exerting narrowly conceived modes of control, highly reminiscent of the condition of anorexia, a surreal game of I-am-right-rules Russian Roulette with appallingly higher stakes.

In your country, were the polar opposite not in effect, starvation would be the inevitable result.

6th Nov 2001, 07:45
Go read "Lord of the Flies."

I've never fully appreciated the "female influence" on society until I saw the Taliban. The image of women in those masks being whipped on the street....

bugg smasher
7th Nov 2001, 06:24
Yes indeed Huck, a very astute observation. According to interviews with many Afghani women as published in various magazine articles, the Taliban have managed to convincingly brainwash their women into the belief that sacrificing each and every son to “the cause” is a noble and just thing. They are forcibly led to teach them from a very young and tender age that the profoundest goal they might achieve in life involves strapping a large and crudely constructed bomb around the waist, (the 767 being a recent innovation of somewhat more sophistication), a confirmed first class ticket to paradise as it were, on His very own exalted airline. And preferably detonated of course, in the company of as many unbelievers as possible. If that doesn’t chafe deeply and painfully against the very essence of feminine instinct at its life-giving best, then I shall be forced to abscond to the nearest telephone booth and triumphantly emerge as the Pope incarnate.

Welcome to the dungeon, by the way, I appreciate the company.


7th Nov 2001, 09:24
bugg, I too have enjoyed going to alternative comedy gigs since their early days in the UK of around the late 70's early 80's. Always found most of the acts thought provoking whatever the subject matter, can't imagine there being too many venues in Kabul that could put on a good stand up gig, or it even being allowed!. Still anyone know the difference between meat and fish?

bugg smasher
8th Nov 2001, 05:12
Hello Tall, nice to have a customer walk in here once in a while, what with those clever old sods Draper, Tricky Woo and their mob holding court just next door, it’s hard to get a word in over all the commotion. I was considering hanging my shingle in a higher-rent district, but I can’t afford the rent and I just don’t think they’d have me anyway.

As I was saying, Hanibal bin Lecter and his redoubtable Tally me Banana Brigade make for some interesting material in these comedy clubs. I was in one of them about three weeks after WTC, and even the more subversive of the talent were holding back for fear of offending the still raw sensitivities, understandably, of the New Yorkers. It also may have had something to do with a group in the audience who happened to be currently practicing US marines, having threatened one of the wags with premature retirement after an ill-considered remark.

Stand-up gig in Kabul, eh?

“Evenin’ gents, you look like a great crowd. As I was walkin’ in here tonight a guy with a beard asked me if I had a weapon. When I said no, he gave me one. (Ba-da-boomp!) But seriously folks, let’s hear a round of applause for the ladies at home, aren’t they great? (Muted murmuring) My wife goes out every morning for the six AM air raid and dodges daisy cutters to catch the food drops, and after all that, still gives great headache. (Sound of cocking guns) Hey pal, you in show business? Then get yer frickin feet off the stage. Aah yes, those Americans eh folks, can’t live with em’ can’t live without em’. Happened to be in the vegetable market having tea today and wouldn’t you know it, someone wanted to build a mosque with two hundred-and-ten story minarets.....