View Full Version : 2 Sharks Swimming in Irish Sea......

Circuit Basher
12th Feb 2004, 19:59
One says to the other:

"I'm sick of fish - let's go for a Chinkie!" :)

12th Feb 2004, 20:16
Not sure that I appreciate that joke. :(

But it says after all:
""stay out if you are faint hearted""

Lon More
12th Feb 2004, 20:18
Early session in the bar this lunchtime, was it?

12th Feb 2004, 21:28
Already heard that one. Got any others perchance?


12th Feb 2004, 21:48
Still not that comfortable with this joke.
Looking at the photo with this article you might agree the joke is not so obvious?

irish sea "joke" (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/lancashire/3480979.stm)


Send Clowns
12th Feb 2004, 21:53
There's a queue outside the chinese restaurant in Morecambe. They're waiting for the chef to wash up. :(

12th Feb 2004, 22:02
I have heard some, but don't feel it would be appropriate to post them.

You can have all the warnings in the world, someone will still have a look and be offended.

12th Feb 2004, 23:26
The late Frank Zappa:

"I was always happy to outrage anybody who wanted to be outraged!"

VFE. :cool:

Circuit Basher
12th Feb 2004, 23:39
Sorry if it offended anyone, but thought the Health Warnings for Jet Blast were quite clear. Maybe I've spent too long in a military / defence environment, where black humour is the way of coping with grief / bad news.

eg. Several years ago, when a Lynx (IIRC) crashed into the breakwater at Portland, the joke was going about the island within 2 hrs of the crash:

Q. What was the pilots favourite drink?
A. A harbour wall banger!

Still, if anyone is seriously offended, then I'll delete the post.

Biggles Flies Undone
12th Feb 2004, 23:45
We have this discussion every time there's a disaster - the Kursk one was particularly heated. Black humour is like speeding - always two mobs on their soapboxes and handbags at dawn.

They've initiated an emergency review of the sea defences at Morecombe after chinks were found in the harbour wall.....

13th Feb 2004, 00:14
You can relax, CB: only a "stuck-in-the-mud" would be offended !

Yes, yes, I'll get the coat now . . .

13th Feb 2004, 00:46
There's a knack to being funny without being cruel, insensitive & unkind at the expense of others misfortunes, a fine line to be drawn.

This was a horrible tragedy, not the material for black humour IMHO. How would you feel if it was someone you loved & cared for who'd been exploited to death like this? These people & their surviving relatives deserve our sympathy & compassion (commodities short in supply in todays world) , not people laughing at their expense.

Oh BTW the're Chinese not the derogatary 'Chinks' as youse like to call them to add insult to injury, do they somehow not deserve to be addressed with the same respect as Caucasians. I've known some whom I've respected & been proud to call friends & experienced their wonderful culture & hospitality.

It's amazing how low some people stoop for a cheap laugh, it's even more amazing how few people have the guts to stand against the crowd & acknowledge this overgrown schoolboyish 'joke' for the cheap unsavory 'joke' that it is.

Good on you IFTB to stand up to the rest. Glad to see someone has the courage of their convictions. Accuse me of moralising but I don't care & I've a good an appreciation of good black humour as the next :mad:


13th Feb 2004, 01:02
Apparently they were told to get out of the water when it got to knee high.

Unfortunately Nee Hi was was driving the van.....

Send Clowns
13th Feb 2004, 01:02

Have to respectfully point out that this is the point of black humour: it relates to things that really are not very funny, there can be no other material for black humour. Like Circuit Basher I picked up the habit in the service, and missed that in coping when a friend I had not seen for a long while died last year in the war. Black humour is one response to the misfortunes inherent in the world, and more common in our environment, a response based on acceptance of loss as a natural part of the world, and is not intended at all disrespectfully. Nor is the term "chinkie" necessarily disrespectful, any more than when the chinese describe western Europeans as "roundeyes".

This news item was tragic. However it was not a unique event: people die each day, and most of these deaths are to some degree and to some number of people a terrible loss. If we went through the world glum because of death, there would be no time to be happy, and life then becomes pointless.

Some people do not use this type of response, of black humour, and I suggest you are one of these. That is not a problem, but it is also no reason to impose your way of seeing the world on others. You probably would be happier avoiding this thread in future, rather than trying to argue for people not to post here.

13th Feb 2004, 01:14
Attention seeking from dear ole Coconuts? Well I never......

You claim to be offended but boast of possessing a fine sense of black humour yourself? This kind of pathetic attention seeking really must stop my dear! I actually take offence at your turning a tragedy into a personal platform to spout off your usual tirade of moral pretensiousness to people who are clearly intelligent enough to understand the logic and worth of such humour.

Claiming to possess a decent black sense of humour and two sentances later criticising those with the courage to post such jokes is about as warped as it gets and must mark your best self centred, highfalutin and pompous post to date. Please don't attempt to mask it by claiming to be some moral crusader. You simply like to be the centre of attention as per usual.

I seriously worry about your state of mind sometimes. I suggest another term at the Holy Cross Convent School For Delicate Girlies and fifty lines. We shall change your teacher from Father Dougal to Father Jack too, that should curb your misguided ways! :)


13th Feb 2004, 01:19
Unfortunately, VFE old chap, she is of the mistaken opinion that she is in some tiny way interesting.

13th Feb 2004, 01:23
It is entertaining though.....please, continue!

13th Feb 2004, 01:25
The old coconuts should sue for defamation. :ok:

13th Feb 2004, 01:27
Holy crap Coco... chill the **** out man.

Jetblast is precisely the correct forum (literally) for these type of jokes and for those of us who find them funny to view them - it's a fact of life that a good number of us are amused by the sharp wit and the speed in which these jokes materialise.

They are not meant to be racist. They are not meant to be cruel. They are meant to be funny - and they are. Simple. No sinister undercurrent, no BNP bollox, just plain old fashioned witty comment on an unfortunate incident in the news.

End of pontification from atop this lofty steed….

Talk to you later, apparently Paddy Englishman, myself & Paddy Scotsman are going to walk into a bar….:E

Truly no offence meant by above rant but if you are offended by the posts here, there are other less abrasive forums....



Anthony Carn
13th Feb 2004, 01:38
Well sod it, I've been bottling up this line about the sharks being in danger of eating too much junk food and I've gotta let it out.

By all means ignore me -- I'm used to it. :{

13th Feb 2004, 01:48
I trust you're not trying to insinuate that Chinese food is junk Mr Carn.....

Shame on your lunatic mind...


13th Feb 2004, 01:51
Did you hear the one about the sharks being in danger of eating too much junk food.

Can't believe it hasn't been posted yet.

Anybody seen Carnsie today? :p

13th Feb 2004, 03:33
Ah keep your knickers on! :p


13th Feb 2004, 03:34
Police have found 19 pairs of shoes on Morcombe beach. There where no trainers or high heels - just winkle pickers....

Apparently the local coastguard ignored the emergency callout thinking it was a crossed line from the local Mandarin Weight Watchers. All he heard was "can't slim, can't slim..."!!!

Police have named 6 of the Morecombe victims they are as follows -
Way Ding, Sin King, Drow Ning, Leff To Dy, F*k Its Cold and Ty Dis Hi.

If you are offended by this thread well - Coiantur Sin Jocare pussunt

Lon More
13th Feb 2004, 03:42
CB The penny just dropped, nice one

SawThe Light
13th Feb 2004, 03:42
Just had a look at the photograph of the warning sign in the BBC News article linked in IFTB's post, and I now am worried.

If this had happened in Sydney the warning sign would have only been written in arabic, vietnamese, mandarin,greek and italian.

If you only understood english, tough.

13th Feb 2004, 04:03
Whatever happened to the hotel lobby rule?

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

The Nr Fairy
13th Feb 2004, 05:18
Well, I hadn't seen some of those jokes, and I'm not going to add any - purely cos I've not got any to add.

And speaking as someone who's been involved in a discussion about self removal of piles and other such subjects in a hotel lobby, no wonder I'm confused !

Biggles Flies Undone
13th Feb 2004, 05:48
U_R if you're prepared to accept the title of 'Grumpy Old Man' I'm prepared to pay for it - in fact I'll send Danny £25 if you promise to post at least 100 times with it. The PPRuNe fund benefits and you can cast a wry grin in my direction. Do we have a deal?

No, I'm not trying to trivialise a tragedy - I'm acting in the spirit of Jet Blast and black humour.

As for you Coconuts - report to my study for a severe lashing with wet lettuce leafs.... ;)

13th Feb 2004, 05:57
Interesting, now receiving anonymous cockle picker joke texts. The most recent one too sick even for me (not really )

13th Feb 2004, 06:02
Biggles - Make it £100 and you are on.

13th Feb 2004, 06:51
Yeah, but there is black humour and there is witless black humour. The Sharks in the Irish Sea joke falls into the latter category, bacause the first time you hear it, you can guess the punchline with 95% accuracy.
I used to believe that a particular joke came from a point source, but with this one. it is so pathetically obvious, it was probably thought of simultaneously by any number of 20 watt minds.

(will correct for spelling tomorrrow, when I am more or less sober) :(

tony draper
13th Feb 2004, 06:56
One of the funniest patter merchants I ever heard was the chap who did the biz at Aclam Crematorium, I was working in the oven room for a few days, he kept up a constand stream of banter, grim humour is common in jobs that deal with death on a daily basis, I must have heard five cockle picker jokes already today.
Our sense of humour is what makes us unique in the animal kingdom, there is no situation or event no matter how tragic or dire that somebody will not make a joke up about, I recon its hard wired into us a defence mechanism as somebody has already stated.

13th Feb 2004, 07:09
Our sense of humour is what makes us unique in the animal kingdom

Maybe Mr D, but I bet there're a few cockles sniggering today :ooh:

Biggles Flies Undone
13th Feb 2004, 07:27
U_R not a chance! I think the bets I lose with Reddo are the main source of income to the Fund..... don't kick me just because I have a sense of humour ;)

We on at £25 or not?


13th Feb 2004, 13:12
I have received 3 complaints about this thread, 2 from the same person. The reasons given were "nasty" and "racism".

This may be a bit on the "sick" side, but that is what black humour is usually, by definition.

This may be opportunistically black, but it is not - in my opinion - racist. If the tragedy had happened to Irish people, the sharks would have been going for an Irish Stew; if to people from the Indian sub-continent - an Indian; if to Americans - a Yank chowder; if to the Japanese - a Japanese sushi; if to the Swedish - Swedish meat balls. You get the message.

Whilst I do not necessarily personally think that this is either sensitive or tactful, I do not believe that it constitutes a breach of any of the JB RoE. I will - therefore - not be pulling this thread as it stands. We will - as always - be monitoring this and all other threads in JB and rest assured that this or any other will be pulled if we think it crosses the line.

The Invisible Man
13th Feb 2004, 13:30
I wonder if black humour has always been,

The jokes about Morecambe Bay started about 24hrs later, The Shuttle Disaster, similar time, 9/11, Hirosima, Titanic ...etc etc. I've heard jokes about them all.

Do you think our ancestors had jokes about King Harold getting it in the eye, Custers Last stand ( or lay down ), Henry the Eighth's wives and their subsequent outcome.

I think we all deal with tradgedy in different ways, and has been stated previously, many deal with it in a humourous fashion..... I have too, it keeps me sane. Well almost !!!


13th Feb 2004, 15:12
"Our sense of humour is what makes us unique in the animal kingdom, I recon its hard wired into us a defence mechanism as somebody has already stated."

Except in Germans, of course.

13th Feb 2004, 15:24
Invisible Man,

Not quiet the same IMHO.
The type of black humor people would (in general) consider acceptable is about the situation itself (9/11, really??!) not the victims themselves.
I am convinced that this forum would not accept a joke like "what was the last thing which went through the Captains head when hitting the Twin Towers......
The BBC photo in the top of the article hit me a bit hard. Reading this JB joke shortly after that made me object.

My objections I have stated midly and not as a heavy protest.
I am aware this is JB.
I also reported this tread to the Mods (only once) as I really do not think this is acceptable black humor. Left it up to the mods to decide, they know what they intent to allow on this forum, and I stand by their ruling.
Thanks Coconuts, Cumulus,U_R and Co for the support. Sad day if we would keep our mouths shut due to 'peer' pressure.

Please carry on, but please never forget to give the victims and their families some thought.


13th Feb 2004, 15:43
I also worry about this thread.
Yes black humour has its place but not on an internationaly published medium that may be seen by the relatives.

13th Feb 2004, 15:50
Can we quit ranting on the morals and get back to the jokes?


13th Feb 2004, 15:56
Hey Biggsy: Put me down for 25 quid too.

Having been on the receiving end myself a coupla times it seems the least I can do.

So how about it U_R ? - that boosts Danny's pot to 50 quid. At least you can't say I'm not grateful !

G :cool:

Circuit Basher
13th Feb 2004, 16:23
OK - didn't realise that this black humour would have caused so many upsets when taken in context of the JetBlast atmosphere. It is certainly what I would consider to be fit for a hotel lobby and I've never been ejected from a hotel yet! As I said earlier, it was not posted with the intention of offending, but to try to see the lighter side of a tragic event.

It appears that those with a services background particularly relate to this approach but that those without significant military exposure tend to see this at a more personal level. I shall thus refrain from posting any more of the humour that I have received on this subject and hope that those who took exception to this thread can find it in their hearts to forgive my way of dealing with this sort of occurrence.

13th Feb 2004, 17:50
Thanks C.B.
You're off the blacklist now. :}

I would not relate it to any service background though.


Kaptin M
13th Feb 2004, 20:13
I've been thinking about this thread since its inception, and wonder how long it would have lasted, had it centred around the Holocaust and ovens?
About 2 seconds I'd say.

I consider that I have a fairly broad sense of humour, but these jokes are extremely basic - like slapstick comedy.
Furthermore the word "Chinkie" is quite derogatory, imo, and I don't see the NEED to use it, when Chinese would have sufficed instead, and have been far less offensive.

13th Feb 2004, 21:24
Kaptin M

BFUs joke on page 1 about ''chinks'' being found in the harbour wall wouldnt have been half as funny if he had called them Chinese now would it ? :}