View Full Version : Men, what are they good for?

Cyclic Hotline
3rd Nov 2001, 06:18
Men an endangered species

MEN are in danger of extinction because of their shorter life expectancy, reluctance to take care of their health and the emergence of sperm banks and in vitro fertilisation.
A report on the future of men and their health has warned that their role in society is under threat.

Siegfried Meryn, professor of medicine at the University of Vienna, said there is an urgent need to advertise and promote men's health in a positive way.

He said: "Men have higher mortality rates for all 15 leading causes of death and have a life expectancy about seven years shorter than women's.

"Men's reluctance to embrace preventive strategies has also contributed substantially to the spread of AIDS and to an alarming rise in infections among young men, including other sexually transmitted diseases.

"There is a sustained increase of alcohol and substance abuse, mid-life crisis, depression and domestic violence, while men's increasing aggression also remains an unsolved problem.

"There are currently over 30 wars and conflicts raging around the world, mostly created, maintained and aggravated by men."

He added: "Although there is still a long way to go in many societies around the world, it is clear that women can perform, and on most occasions outperform, pretty much all the tasks that are traditionally reserved for men."

Prof Meryn, writing in the British Medical Journal, said that with the advent of sperm banks, IVF, sex sorting techniques, human cloning, and same-sex marriages, it was "reasonable" to wonder about the future role of men in society.

He added: "What will be the implications of the redefinition of men's roles within the family, work and society on their health? Will men be needed at all?"

3rd Nov 2001, 06:44

3rd Nov 2001, 06:50
We are already aware that the natural form of the human being is female and it is clear that technology will enable us to return to the state where only one gender is required for continuation of our species.

I would like to see us recognise that ability and ackmowledge the achievement then decide not to walk that path.

It would be a miserable old world without our menfolk.

3rd Nov 2001, 06:58
It's Okay, Blue. Thanks for the vote, but anyway, so long as there is a need to make a left turn on a green light, there will be a place for us.

3rd Nov 2001, 07:08
Who will kill spiders for you?

3rd Nov 2001, 08:59
Well IF men are ever done away with altogether, who are women going to be superior to? :rolleyes: :eek: ;) :D

With no men to nag and boss around, they would turn on each other, thus bringing out these "male" traits they so fear..... :D

pax anglia
3rd Nov 2001, 20:31
Reading maps and reversing a car into a parking space,since you ask.

tony draper
3rd Nov 2001, 20:37
We can pee our initials in the snow. ;)

3rd Nov 2001, 20:48
Getting lids off jars, chopping wood, scraping the ice off the windscreen in the winter, good for cold winters nights in other ways, changing the oil in the car, changing the tyre on the car, finishing of the beer in the fridge, leaving stripes in the loo and the bog roll empty, mowing the lawn, ....ahhhh can't think off much else at the mo.

3rd Nov 2001, 21:21
The ex-Loser set me straight 16 years ago; “You’re nothing more than a live-in escort/ handyman. As long as you pay rent with your paychecks I’ll let you hang around now, go get ready because I have a party to attend. Oh, and it’s formal so wear the black tie ensemble I picked out and hung on your bedroom door. And for Heaven's sake, wear the matching socks I laid on your bed!”

3rd Nov 2001, 21:41

3rd Nov 2001, 22:06
1. Shagging

2. Buying drinks


3rd Nov 2001, 22:35
Last time I went to the sperm bank they told me I was overdrawn.

4th Nov 2001, 03:51
You mean you wanted to make a withdrawal??? :eek: :confused: :eek: :rolleyes:

Wee Ali
4th Nov 2001, 07:04
Nah.I'm gonna have to be unfashionable & say I love em' & wouldn't be without..
I don't want to shag other women.I don't want to go rock climbing with twits who are frightened of breaking a nail.I want to spend my time with people who have more to talk about than brats,curtains,diets & each other's bloody boring lives.
I love the brazen untidiness of men;their complete lack of false modesty & doublespeak.
I love the way they get obsessed about daft things like hi-fi & trains.
I love their muscles,their hairiness & growling laughs.I love the way when I tell them I'm a student pilot they become instantly enthusiastic & interested,not make some brain-dead bitchy comment about my 'not quite looking like a pilot'.
I love the way they can always lend you a screwdriver,always know what to do with dodgy washers in taps & always look cute in their airline uniforms.The way they smell.The way they sing when they're pissed.The way denounce your ex as a 'poof'.The way they sometimes go all vulnerable.
I couldn't care less whether I fly with men or women,as both are equally good,but a world without men ?? Shoot me!! :D

4th Nov 2001, 07:37
Wee Ali you just made a lot of men go weak at the knees.

4th Nov 2001, 09:36
Ali, for god's sake, don't encourage them!!

I have to agree tho, they can be a complete contradiction in terms sometimes...you think you have them figured out, then they go and do something so out of character that it all goes out the window...

Still, tis interesting finding all those things out...


Oh...damn...just broke a nail typing this......just kidding :)

4th Nov 2001, 12:28
We have to keep you girls on your toes. Can't be too predictable.

We're good for anything the do with the car !! In particular - finding out what that odd noise is !! :D :D

Feeton Terrafirma
4th Nov 2001, 12:45
Wee Ali if I wan't just hitched in chat we would have lots to chat about......... ah such is life.

Min we have to keep you guessing babe, and I'm fairly sure I do :D

and Capt EFIS bugga the noise, what will it do flat out?

5th Nov 2001, 04:03
Yes, feets, I am still trying to work out whether I should get a new outfit for a 'real' Mel/Feets wedding.....or take every word with a grain of salt, play it safe, and just get a hat. At least I can wear the hat to the Melbourne Cup drinks that are on the agenda for tomorrow :)


PS The thing about hats is that generally, they don't need ironing, either.

5th Nov 2001, 09:31
I'm besotted. I'd lend you a screwdriver any time.(Don't know about rock climbing, but.)

Bear my children. Pick up my socks. Talk to me in a cute Scots accent. I'm yours. :D :D

6th Nov 2001, 00:04
Hey There Wee Ali,

Little Darlin’, you sound almost too good to be true – “the real 'pardner' ya want to ride through the gate with”. However, I gotta tell ya, this ol’ boy’s still a little head shy so, explain this to me...

In the beginning, the XL (ex-Loser) sounded much the same with all the things she “adored” about "her man"; she loved the fact that I smoked – thought I was twin to the “Marlboro Man”, the “outdoorsie” type, loved the chest hair, loved the West Texas drawl, loved the pick-up truck, loved the “little boy” that came out from time to time…, loved how I could “go from horseback to cockpit in 30 seconds”…, (Where do ya want me to stop?)

Then, six months after “The Ring” it’s;

“Must you smoke?” and,

“What’s up with that stupid ‘jerk-water’ cowboy hat all the time?” and,

“Don’t you have any different uniforms? I get tired of the same white shirts all the time and what’s with those four silly stripes?” and,

“jeeeze – you shed worse than my cat – I just changed the sheets last night and there’s body hair on them already and AAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH – there’s one stuck to the soap!!!!!” and,

“…for the last time, my family is well educated, quit talking like a country hick when we meet them for dinner! You’re a professional for crying out loud - I’ll bet you don’t talk to your stupid flight attendant groupies like that!” and,

“How do you know about all of that stuff you talked about at dinner? You’re a country-bumpkin’ from West Texas! Is that how you impress all your flight attendant groupies?” and,

“Do I have to ride in this stupid truck again? Don’t you have anything in here but ‘Jerry Jeff Walker tapes?” and,

“OH, you make me soooooooooo mad!!!!! Why can’t you just grow up!” and,

one of my favorites, “damn, you ALWAYS smell like horse sweat or cowshit! I bet you don’t smell like that around your stupid flight attendant groupies!” (Wow, what a great name for a new aftershave: “Horse-Sweat –N- Cow-**** ”! Oughta be right up there with “Old Spice” and “Stetson”)

Anyway, just curious, what’s up with all of that or am I just a lone “turd in the punchbowl” here – again?

(Okay, one good thing did come out of it – I did quit the smokin’)

6th Nov 2001, 00:33
Hmmm, I don't think you should try and make too much sense of that B. Loser: simple truth is she sounds just plain naaaaaasty!

6th Nov 2001, 19:58
In reference to the need for men: Not only can we pee our own initials in th snow, but if you treat us nice and ask us nicer, we can pee yours.

Now what more reason do you really need to keep us around.

P.S. Do not eat yellow snow with initials in it.