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View Full Version : Let's get married !!!!


EGDR
2nd Nov 2001, 23:36
Check this one out

Let's get married (http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/england/newsid_1632000/1632604.stm)

[ 02 November 2001: Message edited by: EGDR ]

HugMonster
3rd Nov 2001, 00:16
As they say - marry in haste - repent at leisure...

What a pi11ock!

Mycroft
4th Nov 2001, 19:30
I wonder is she even remembers the wedding.

Marriages (and divorces) are quicker and easier here in PPRuNeland, I seem to remember Reddo and Snaily getting married and divorced (problems over custody of Junior) over the course of 2 hours, without ever meeting

Loki
5th Nov 2001, 02:55
Is there anywhere I can get divorced so easily?

(purely academic question, you understand)

(no,really)

Mycroft
7th Nov 2001, 03:25
Loki
Become a Muslim

RW-1
8th Nov 2001, 19:37
Online marriage? Hmmm .... some havent even gotten the cybersex thing down pat ...

Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex." Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...

Well hung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Well hung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Well hung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Well hung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Well hung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Well hung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Well hung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Well hung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breathe harder and harder.

Well hung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breast. My nipples are erect for you.

Well hung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Well hung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Well hung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breast are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Well hung: I'm so sorry; Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Well hung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Well hung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Well hung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Well hung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Well hung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Well hung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Well hung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Well hung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Well hung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Well hung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Well hung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing each other.

Well hung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?

Well hung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Well hung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Well hung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Well hung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Well hung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Well hung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Well hung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Well hung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Well hung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Well hung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Well hung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Well hung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Well hung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart: [logged off]

Cisco Kid
9th Nov 2001, 01:17
So the moral must be if you are married donīt tell your girlfriend ! This young man will go far.. by selling his story he has..1 probably recouped the cost of his holiday...2 avoided marriage with someone who has no sense of humour..& finally 3 as his "Bride" is Australian can reside & work down under if he so chooses..Watch out for his name in Politics sure to be a success,donīt believe the non consummation though...Thereīs always the Morning.

EGDR
9th Nov 2001, 02:01
Just a shame she was Australian, I could think of a lot better places I'd want to gain the right to live & work in !!!!