View Full Version : Unwritten Rules

1st Nov 2001, 01:42
OK, so I'm in a waiting room the other day and flipping through the women's magazines (why is it always women's magazines and not cars, aircraft or motorbikes? - but we digress...) when I came across a ghastly article, and here is what it said:

When you bring flowers home for the wife/mistress/girlfriend whatever - you usually think there's going to be some brownie points involved.

But apparently, if you got them in the supermarket, they don't count :eek:

What would happen to you if you got them at the petrol station doesn't bear repeating, but let's just say you'll be singing falsetto... :o

OK the petrol station I can understand, I guess, but the supermarket thing seems a bit harsh.

So now I'm wondering what other unwritten rules are lurking out there to catch us out....

[ 31 October 2001: Message edited by: Grainger ]

1st Nov 2001, 13:38
Good job my wife hasn't read that magazine - I do get brownie points even though they're from the supermarket.

1st Nov 2001, 13:51
I took some flowers (well a little flowering pot plant actually) home to Mrs. Angels on Tuesday and obtained some 'pinkie points' that night.
More last night and the promise of more this evening. I feel quite exhausted, but I reckon this was best 2.99 GBP I've ever spent.

1st Nov 2001, 18:42
Once explained to my "Dearly Beloved" that I consider that the "castration of plants and then giving the reproductive organs to someone as a token of affection in order for them to sniff the genitalia is a disgusting and perverse act and I will have nothing to do with it. I mean I like children but I don't cut their testicles off and stick them in a jar on the mantlepiece".

Didn't have to buy flowers again.

Bird Strike
1st Nov 2001, 22:33
It doesn't bother me where my man bought the flowers. It's the thought that counts.

I wish women didn't say silly things like "Flowers from supermarket don't count" and give us all a bad name! :eek:

1st Nov 2001, 22:36
Axerock, I think George Bernard Shaw might have found that solution before you... ;)

[ 01 November 2001: Message edited by: HugMonster ]

2nd Nov 2001, 03:05
Flowers from Interflora:

1. Absolutely NO effort on your part (other than picking up the phone).

2. HUGE appreciation from Mrs Scud

I rest my case.

2nd Nov 2001, 19:59
Unwritten Rule #1 : She who must be obeyed is never wrong.
Unwritten Rule #2 : If she who must be obeyed is ever wrong, refer to "Unwritten Rule #1"

2nd Nov 2001, 20:15
Sod interflora for UK flars
60 swiss francs minimum on their website
try teleflorist - used it for 2 years for many many flowers - mother, daughters, sisters, mother-in-law, and wife - always great service reasonable price
No commercial connection - just credit where it's due....

Send Clowns
2nd Nov 2001, 21:52
A girlfriend's mother had been really great, looking after the girlie while she was really ill and I unable to be there. Sent the mum a lovely bunch of flowers from Teleflorist, as that was the local network florist (in Shrewsbury).

Problem was when I later sent the girlfriend herself some flowers, used Interflora as I had moved and there was no Teleflorist nearby. The girlfriend complained that they weren't as nice as the ones I'd sent her mum!!!! :rolleyes: Can't win.

[ 02 November 2001: Message edited by: Send Clowns ]

2nd Nov 2001, 23:54
The Rules ( apologies if these have been posted before)

1. The female always makes the rules
2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules
4. If a female even suspects that a male knows all the rules she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male said or did and the male must apologise immediately for having caused any misunderstanding.
7. The female may change her mind at any time.
8. The male must never change his mind without the express consent of the female.
9. The female has the right to be angry or upset at any time.
10. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry and/or upset, and the female must, under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she expects him to be angry/upset.
11. The male is expected to be able to mindread at all times.
12. The female is ready when she is ready.
13. The male must be ready at all times.
14. Any attempt to document the rules may result in bodily harm. (oops)
15. The male who can't abide by the rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone and is a wimp.
16. If the female has PMT all rules are null and void.
:p ;) :)

3rd Nov 2001, 07:22
Well...I think that list pretty well covers most of it :) Glad someone has had the foresight to put them together. I do feel they should be given out to all boys upon leaving school..and maybe even earlier for some of the more advanced of the male species...actually...they should be taught in primary school. The sooner you lot know and understand them, the better :) Would save a lot of misunderstandings later on!!


Feeton Terrafirma
3rd Nov 2001, 12:50
When she says "does my bottom look big in this?" be in another room, or better yet another country.

Never disagree with her. (ever)

Never mention how much she eats.

Never even give a hint that you would prefer to eat out if she offers to cook

NEVER EVER even think of looking at another woman, even if it's just a fashion parade on the TV news. (hint: watch the late news when shes not around)

I'm sure there are more, but I'm not allowed to know them all at any time.

3rd Nov 2001, 18:07
13. The male must be ready at all times.

Well, at least THAT one is easy... :D

compressor stall
5th Nov 2001, 18:16
Does ripping flowers out of someone's front yard on the way home from the pub at 0200 when you were "just heading down to give Brian that cash you owed him" and leaving them on the kitchen table with dirt still all over the roots so that they are easier to grow again, then collapsing in to a snoring stinky blubbering mess next to her count?

5th Nov 2001, 18:36
My mates usually just prop me up against the front door, then ring the bell and leg it...

5th Nov 2001, 18:53
Stallie... ya reckon there's a connection between that and her decision to move to Kalgoorlie? :eek: :D