View Full Version : Celibacy

31st Oct 2001, 17:35
since we are not supposed to talk about sex here i thought that we could discuss no sex. :)

so who here is celibate?
what is the longest period of time that one has gone without sex?
what were the reasons for your celibacy?

everyone confess now! :cool:

31st Oct 2001, 17:50
I once went without for about 20 months but I was married at the time.

31st Oct 2001, 17:51
Dings have you heard the one about the monk who comes running in late to lunch and he's managing to laugh and cry at the same time. His brothers all gather round trying to calm hin down but all he can do is point repeatedly to a page in an ancient text he is carrying.

Finally regaining some coherence, he points to a specific word and says, "Look, brothers." They look where he is pointing and fall silent.

Then one of them says very quietly, "Oh, sh*t, it says "CELEBRATE."

Edited for dyslexic fingerslips.

[ 31 October 2001: Message edited by: BlueDiamond ]

31st Oct 2001, 18:02
8 hours
They dont let me do it in the office. :D

31st Oct 2001, 18:13
Can we have a little precision in the use of words here? Celibacy has little, and nothing essential, to do with abstinence from sexual activity. It connotes the condition of being unmarried.

Q: "Do you approve of pre-marital intercourse?"
A: "Certainly. It gives you something to think back on with pleasure when you are married".

The nearest word for what you mean is "chastity", although some dictionaries are lose in their definitions there too.

Draperquote # 1 ("Not many people know that")

The Nr Fairy
31st Oct 2001, 19:44
Not quite a dictionary, but I knew a girl who was lose with her definition of chastity.

31st Oct 2001, 21:18
According to Dr Johnson:

"Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has few pleasures"

Depends on who you're married to, I suppose...

31st Oct 2001, 21:42
I never thought I would see the day when "dingducky" and "Celebacy" were in the same topic .... :D

You had me worried there girl ....

Longest time, about a year, no one that piequed my interest (that if pursued wouldn't be the cause of trouble).

31st Oct 2001, 23:23
...definitely overated.

tony draper
31st Oct 2001, 23:57
Draper prefers Hapibacy ;)

1st Nov 2001, 01:47
Hey, I reckon it's genetic.

If your parents were celibate, chances are you won't be getting much sex either... ;)

1st Nov 2001, 02:54
About sixteen years.... mind you that was before I had reached puberty and before I met a particularly attractive ewe called Maisie.

Now I have been married for nearly thirty years, youngest offspring 23, oh sh*t things are getting worse. HELP anyone HELP!!

1st Nov 2001, 09:02
A long 14-month dry period a couple of years ago. Wasnt a pretty sight. Resulted in severe psychological and penile trauma and I got crankey a lot from exessive hand-calluses.
Wasnt my fault. Every chance I got of getting into someones pants, circumstances made it impossible. Thought I was jinxed.

[ 01 November 2001: Message edited by: Slasher ]

Send Clowns
1st Nov 2001, 19:13
Shouldn't that be a sow, groundhog?

Looks like I might be celibate for a few weeks - think it would be difficult with broken ribs and all my cuts and bruises :(

[ 01 November 2001: Message edited by: Send Clowns ]

1st Nov 2001, 19:50
What on earth have you done to yourself Clowns???

1st Nov 2001, 20:02
Once had a period of abstinance (not by choice) that lasted for about 2 1/2 years (working in Antarctica - no females in those days) punctuated by a very brief shag and a nother 2 1/2 year break for pilot training and stuff....

How did I cope? Well I found that to avoid an assymetric torso, it pays to become ambidextrous. :D

2nd Nov 2001, 02:33
Nah Clowns hadn't met the sow then, anyway are there any pretty sheep in the New Forest these days - I'm getting desperate after 23 years......

2nd Nov 2001, 19:50
The first 17 yrs of my life were pretty ho-hum. Wot can I tell ya ... I was slow to learn "the meaning of life" :eek:

Now I have to be celibate for about 2 months at a time, sometimes longer ... depending on how often I can escape my prison. ;)

There's much to be said for "riding a bike", but it'll never replace sex... :D

5th Nov 2001, 00:08
Eeerrr Grainger if his parents had been celibate 'he' wouldn't be here.

Oh OK it was a mistake then, I guess we all were if we faced up to it. They didn't mean to have us, we all just appeared under the gooseberry bush.

tony draper
5th Nov 2001, 00:32
This thread begs the question that has baffled philosophers for years, did Adam have a belly button?, would we be better off if God had cooked and eaten that spare rib from Adam?. ;)
One could still pull oneself.

5th Nov 2001, 00:49
Actually celibacy refers to an unmarried male. It has come to mean abstaining from sex because a 'celibate' was a single man who, because of a religious vow, refrained from sexual congress.

Indeed, Draper, and that other great imponderable - if Adam and Ever were the first - who married them, and if they were unmarried - did this make Cain and Abel bastards.

Davaar - does that mean that pre-marital intercourse is also oral sex ;)

[ 04 November 2001: Message edited by: ANGELONE ]

5th Nov 2001, 01:15
Unfortunately my woman ate some of that stuff that reduces sex drive to almost zero.

Wedding cake. :rolleyes:

5th Nov 2001, 02:08
Confession time, 33 years, followed by one year then two more, then four, one and six months. In fact by some standards I'm still a virgin.
Celibacy is seriously over rated. Sad eh?

5th Nov 2001, 02:29
Believe me..if you were married to my missis, then you'd want to be selibate !!
Me...I can't even spell the word !!!!
Heh heh !! :D :cool:

5th Nov 2001, 05:18
Good Heavens, Angelone, I am just a visiting pettifogger and petty pedant. Petty coats are beyond my remit. More than my jobsworth. Suggest you try lapsus linguae.

Send Clowns
7th Nov 2001, 06:08

I got squished by articulated truck! Am basically OK, but am not up to much sexual gymnastics :( .

7th Nov 2001, 07:35
My last "full bore" partner was a freshly
divorsed woman who was worried about "Raymond" after about our third sortie. "Who's Raymond?" I replyed.
"Oh that's my ex, you heard of him. He's the one that murdered those two farmers outside of town. He THOUGHT I was sleeping with them!"
That was enough to scare me into 3 years of nothingness. :eek:

7th Nov 2001, 07:53
That's no good at all, Clowns but I'm glad you're o.k. Obviously you're not a man who does things by half measures!

The solution to your temporary problem of course is to just lie back and relax while someone else does all the work. :D :D :D

7th Nov 2001, 22:09
Celibacy is it's own punishment.

:D :D :D

22nd Nov 2001, 05:26
i thought that i should add how long it has been for me!
at least 2 1/2 years. and i don't expect anything to happen in the future :(

22nd Nov 2001, 05:33
I think any horney-looking chick with big tits self-imposing celebacy on herself is a crime against humanity and an indecent act towards Nature. But if shes fat and bloodey ugly Id define it as a "self-discipline exercise". :D

tony draper
22nd Nov 2001, 05:33
Please read the thread on practicing elsewhere on this forum Miss D. ;)

22nd Nov 2001, 12:53
if shes fat and bloodey ugly

No No No Slasher, you cannot describe a member of the fairer sex like that. You have to be positive and highlight her strengths. In other words "She has a Huge Personality" :D :D :D

22nd Nov 2001, 13:31
A clear case of beauty being in the eye of the beer holder... :D

23rd Nov 2001, 07:18
so i have self dicipline and a huge personality
nice to know

the wizard of auz
23rd Nov 2001, 09:47
Don't do it ding, don't kill yerself. We would have nothing to read on pprune if you did that. ;)