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Mooney
30th Oct 2001, 01:14
Ten Husbands - Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their
wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a
virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten
times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great
it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was
supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out
diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he
didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three
years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but
he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never
sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him!
B
ut now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
;)

sanjosebaz
30th Oct 2001, 23:41
It's the year 2001!...

1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He
e-mails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but
you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if
it contains Echinacea.
7. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so
she can create a screen saver.
8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home.
9. Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom
of the screen.
10. You buy a computer and 6 months later it is out of date and now
sells for half the price you paid.
11. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the
first 20 or 30 years of your life, is cause for panic and you turn
around to go get it.
12. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase
would be a hassle and take planning.
13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of
the back seat of your car.
14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not
have e-mail addresses.
15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
17. Your idea of being organized is multi-colored Post-it notes.
18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.
20. You disconnect from the Internet and get an awful feeling, as if you
just pulled the plug on a loved one.
21. You get up in morning and go online before getting your coffee.
22. You wake up at 2am to go to the bathroom and check your e-mail on
your way back to bed.
23. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)
24. You're reading this.
25. Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone else.

Celtic Emerald
1st Nov 2001, 22:53
What's the excuse if the husbands a pilot Mooney? :confused:

Emerald xxx