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Joe Bolt
8th Feb 2004, 10:55
I knew that would get your attention.

Well actually........Tonight for the first time ever, my wife has had a little too much liquid refreshment and thrown up!

Maybe it isn't the first time ever, but it certainly is the first time in the ten years I've known her. And do you know what? She didn't even make it to the bathroom in time. It was me who had to undress her and put her to bed. (No photographs I'm afraid. You'll have to visit some other website for that kind of thing). It was me who has just spent the last hour washing her 'handwash only' clothes, and scrubbing the carpet on the stairs, the landing, and the bathroom floor. And I've been doing all of this in the first hour of my birthday today!

She's going to be feeling rotten for the next 12 hours or so and she has my sympathy. I know I've been there many times, but NEVER, EVER has anyone else had to clean up after me. I always make it to the bathroom, and never subject anyone else to my unpleasantness. In fact, I'm the cleanest puker I know!

She'll never hear the last of it, no she won't.

2IC
8th Feb 2004, 11:27
After about 4 years of marriage (age 22) and never ever having drunk to excess I decided I wanted to see what it was like, but in the safety of my own home with my hubby there. Yes I was that cautious.

So instead of sticking to my usual one or two drinks, I had more. No idea how many. Anyway I didn't vomit - I must have got drowsy and shut my eyes and found the room spinning. I found it so disturbing I stopped drinking. Of course the room didn't stop spinning and I remember I wanted to shut my eyes and go to sleep, but that made it worse. I felt lousy the next day, too.

Since then I've done several stints at uni, and somehow all those early careful days of just a drink or two slipped into history......

Jerricho
8th Feb 2004, 15:31
.............agreed with me the MIL is a pain in the ass (True and long story!)

Jerricho - 1 vs Mother in Law - 0

(Hmmmm.........thank god for little victories!!)

flapsforty
8th Feb 2004, 20:43
One day when I'm really bored, I will do a 'search & merge', and produce a dedicated thread out of ALL your MIL references on various JB threads Jerricho.

The woman must be true saint to put with the likes of you. :p

Jerricho
8th Feb 2004, 21:09
Awww Flaps.......that really hurt.

I don't have to take that abuse here. I can just invite her for another visit.

flapsforty
8th Feb 2004, 21:26
Jerricho, MILs are life's punishment for our sins past and future; live with it mate.
At least yours is at the other end of the world, mine lived with us the last 2 years of her life.
Dementia and various physical handicaps.
And a door from her kitchen to ours.

I'm a dead cert for heaven. ;)



Back to puking...........

Jerricho
8th Feb 2004, 22:15
At this rate, I'll be holding the door for you! :)

G-ALAN
8th Feb 2004, 23:24
Ah I hate that feeling when the room spins around and you close your eyes and it gets worse then it's a race to the bathroom before :yuk: :yuk:

Can't say I've ever been a careful drinker but as my resistance has built up I can drink more and more without puking. Certainly isn't nice having to clean up after someone, should have made your wife get on her hands and knees thismorning and scrubbed :}

TheStormyPetrel
8th Feb 2004, 23:39
It isn't nice to clean up after someone else, and that's what makes it so nice that Joe Bolt did. And if he can just manage not to make his dear wifey feel bad about it...... I'm thinking maybe he'll be nice about it, and not ruin the good deed he's done. (specially good not to have published photos of your dear lady in such a state)

By the way, happy birthday Joe Bolt! Hope the rest of the day is better than the first hour ;)

Jerrichos MIL
9th Feb 2004, 01:30
The woman must be true saint to put with the likes of you.

Oh Miss Flapsforty, I can assure you that I am. With a lazy good for nothing son in law like him you would need to be.

Quite what my daughter saw in him I'll never know. :hmm: :bored: :uhoh:

And I hear he has been flexing his rude and opinionated views on other parts of this site as well. He's going to regret the day that I discovered his fascination with this website, I promise !! :} ;)

Chaffers
9th Feb 2004, 01:46
Bwahahahahahahahahha!

Jericho dude, I honestly hope thats someone taking the piss rather than your real MIL!

Good luck mate. :ok:

Jerrichos MIL
9th Feb 2004, 01:49
And another thing .... judging by all the empty Scotch bottles that clutter up my little darlings house, I'd say he was an alcoholic as well :rolleyes:

Joe Bolt
9th Feb 2004, 01:53
Thanks Mr. Stormy.
No I've not made her feel bad about it. That wouldn't be fair would it? I guess it's because I must luv her so much after all. She's made a surprisingly fast recovery, and has been eating quite heartily all day - although she did decline the offer of a lunchtime tipple!

Techchick
9th Feb 2004, 05:56
Ok Jerricho's MIL, to prove to us that you really are his MIL I propose that you tell us all of his dirty secrets. Just so that we know its you of course. :eek: :D :cool:

BALIX
9th Feb 2004, 06:17
Strange, innit, how it appears to be human nature to make a virtue out of suffering? I mean there are plenty of cultures out there who chop the end of their sons' willies as a right of passage into mahood.

We in the west, however, prove our manhood (or in Joe's missus' case, womanhood) by getting paralytic, feeling uterly wretched and viloently vomiting :yuk: Throwing up is just about the worst sensation that I could ever inflict on myself.

I don't know about anyone else but acohol can have no effect that is so good that it is worth sticking your head down the bog and puking up your guts for. In fact I think I'd rather chop off the end of my willy or even spend an evening with Jerricho's MIL. (Not my MIL, however...) :eek:

Jerrichos MIL
9th Feb 2004, 06:33
Thank you for the kind offer Sir BALIX.

When you get to be a woman of my mature years, then the offer of a night of passion with a studlike Adonis toyboy is indeed an attractive prospect. However, my generation do not sleep around with such gay abandon as witnessed in the likes of those of my son in laws generation.

I also note that you are, like he, an ATCO. Quite what they do is a mystery to me. It seems they disappear to work at odd times of day, sit around drinking coffee and whinging, and then get something called an 'early go' which releases them to the pub when they are in fact supposed to be employed to do some hard graft. Why the hell couldn't she have married someone higher up the food chain and gain some respect. A refuse collector, a tax man .... even a pilot for heavens sake.

I must therefore refuse your offer to spend the night with you, I would rather stick red hot pokers in my eyeballs. It would make a pleasant change from sticking needles in my Jerricho voodoo doll !!



:E :E :E

fernytickles
9th Feb 2004, 06:40
Heard the other day...

"If you don't drink, how DO you throw up in the morning?" :\

surely not
9th Feb 2004, 08:04
Get pregnant if the trouble Mrs Sn had during pregnancy is anything to go by:D

M.Mouse
9th Feb 2004, 08:42
........I can drink more and more without puking.

This is important is it?

Jerricho
9th Feb 2004, 15:31
WOW...........been rumbled again!

(Now that has to be the funniest thing I have seen for a long time! :) :) :) )

Thing is though, it can't really be her........... she's managed to post without stopping half way to have a smoke. Or to have a got at me for taking her daughter to Canada! Maybe we will see a few more posts from MIL.

BTW, the Jerricho Voodoo doll, coming to good stores near you! With kung-fu grip and whisky bottle.

BALIX
9th Feb 2004, 16:55
I also note that you are, like he, an ATCO. Quite what they do is a mystery to me. It seems they disappear to work at odd times of day, sit around drinking coffee and whinging, and then get something called an 'early go' which releases them to the pub when they are in fact supposed to be employed to do some hard graft. Why the hell couldn't she have married someone higher up the food chain and gain some respect. A refuse collector, a tax man .... even a pilot for heavens sake.

Hey, you are not my MIL as well, are you? You can't be, Mrs BALIX doesn't have a sister. At least, not that I know of.

I must therefore refuse your offer to spend the night with you, I would rather stick red hot pokers in my eyeballs. It would make a pleasant change from sticking needles in my Jerricho voodoo doll !!

Damn and blast, I'll just have to go and chop off the end of my willy, then. :{ :{ :{

Jerricho
9th Feb 2004, 19:52
Adds a new dimension to "taking somebody's head off..........".

(I can't believe MIL has worked out how the magical interweb works and ended up on this specific forum)

surely not
9th Feb 2004, 20:01
Jerricho, it doesn't matter which thread she goes to, you've given her a dishonourable mention in all of them at some time!!!

Just think of all the other sites she now knows you visit:ok: :D

Jerricho
9th Feb 2004, 20:07
I haven't sledged her on the NATS forum..................yet ;)

Maybe I need a new song sheet. Take my uncle for instance. (Please, take my uncle!! :} )

DishMan
9th Feb 2004, 22:46
Sorry to drag this back to the barfing topic....I would like to recount to you a little event that was experienced by a colleague when we were at the In-House training college.

Many many years ago, DM was on a training course with five other young techies. As was wont in those days we would partake heavily at the on-site (VERY cheap) bar.

The night wardens were of varying dispositions one, however, was never known to have smiled and was a right stickler with us rowdy yoofs. :uhoh:

DM + others (minus one straggler) were chatting away in corridor just before crashing for the night when serious faced warden walks up "Gents, your mate has a little problem down in the social wing.....follow me...."

Turned out he had followed us part way up the corridor, realised he would barf, then went back towards the nearest toilets....just didn't make it...at all. The warden kindly presented us with two mops, buckets detergent and left us to it. We took over an hour to clean all the loos, mop corridors and wash down the walls. Yes, he had smeared his hands along the walls to steady himself and "leaked" on the carpet.

We ended up with him hanging out of the bedroom window so he would "drain"....:{

Opinion of Warden went up considerably in our eyes as the next morning he just asked if "Mark" was OK and thanks for putting the mops away. Not a single word more about the incident to anyone else. :ok:
He could have had Mark's head for it too.

(Oh and as techies we all knew which screwdriver fitted between the slots of the in-room sinks!;) :} )

Chaffers
10th Feb 2004, 06:36
My hall of residence at university was famous for its punch parties, generaly the entire social budget fo the year was taken up with two such parties. An entire black plastic bin filled to 30%proof of faintly luminescent alcohol with a splash or two of orange juice and bottled pop.

During one such party a few of us decided we had had enough of the vile mixture and headed of to the student's union, however I went to the toilet on our corridor on the way. There was a bloke there huddled over the big white telephone talking to Ruuuuth at great length.....

Three hours later we headed back to the sudden realisation that due to our toilets being the nearest to the party site we had borne the brunt of the evening's festivities..... I would guess that there must have been 7 or 8 pavement pizzas littering our hallway, such that it was almost like a Krypton factor assault course to pass them without stepping in them whilst pissed.

I ventured into the toilets to observe the same chap still bent over the big white telephone, only this time he had a chair to support him and evidently at least two people had attempted to share the conversation and indulged themselves over his back. Quite frankly it made the shirt he was wearing slightly more tasteful....

I was seconded to help the poor afflicted souls who had been assaulted by the dreaded punch, hence I entered one of the lass's rooms to witness her asleep at the side of her bed with a small lake of luminous green liquid sharing the side of her bed and dripping onto the floor.

Power Up
10th Feb 2004, 15:45
Sorry girls, if you make the mess, you clean it, and I'm afraid no sympathy.

Why?
Because it was they way I was brought up, and all harm is self inflicted

spork
11th Feb 2004, 06:30
Aww... C'mon chaps - nappies, barfing, incontinence - it's all part of life's rich tapestry. It's great to get it all cleaned up and sit down with a nice cup of tea.

Better still, they're forever in your debt too...

Jerrichos MIL
12th Feb 2004, 00:04
Jerricho, (if I may call you that ... it's much nicer than your real name which brings me out in a cold sweat whenever I hear it :mad: :mad: ), you're absolutely right young man.

I will never ever ever forgive you for taking my precious little Princess to Canada ...... she is such a sweet girl. Yet you drag her to the ends of the earth like some little puppy on a lead .....


I need a ciggy ...... now !!! Puff puff puff puff puff

Jerricho
12th Feb 2004, 00:09
Ok...........we'll stay here and YOU go to Canada!

(You do realise if Mrs Jerricho reads this, we are all in BIG trouble! ;) )