View Full Version : A Bastardised Christmas Carol

piston broke
10th Jun 2001, 20:03
Ageing memory has lost half of a Christmas classic - does this sound familiar?

"On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me,
Five @rsehoes
Four french whores
Three sh!t house doors
Two pricks up yours
And my Lord Montague of Beaulieu!

Can anyone supply the gifts for the rest of the period, as it were?

10th Jun 2001, 23:01
Yes, a treasure of temps perdu. The line that remains with me was "Four Boy Touts", or something that rhymed, any similarity wholly coincidental, in reference to then recent reports.

13th Jun 2001, 14:38
I must be getting old - but here goes.
Twelve twisted twats
Eleven lecherous lesbians
Ten torn-off testicles
Nine gnawn-off nipples
Eight aching arseholes
Seven sex-starved spinsters
Six syphilitics
F-i-v-e c-h-o-i-r b-o-y-s
Four girl guides
Three french whores
Two **** -house doors
And (yes) My Lord Montague of Beaulieu