View Full Version : Lap Dancers

The Invisible Man
6th Feb 2004, 16:45
Lap dancers can earn a packet for a few minutes "work", One lady at work, (mid forties ) nice figure and attractive has a fantasy to Lap dance.

We managed to club together and raise 3-56p. She said that was not enough !!!! It was 4 or nothing !!!

Her comments were that there would not be a market for the more "mature" Lap Dancer........ I disagree......am I wrong ???:D

6th Feb 2004, 16:50
A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crap!

Well, that's what the Bloodhound Gang say.............

6th Feb 2004, 17:27
I ordered a laptop once. . .

. . . the ba$tards sent me a computer ! :{

The Invisible Man
6th Feb 2004, 17:39
I dont think you are taking this seriously......

This ladies future career could depend on your replies, and mine as her Manager !!:rolleyes:

6th Feb 2004, 17:57
I am being serious..............get a crap stripper! ;)

Anthony Carn
6th Feb 2004, 18:09
I don't get this lap dancing malarkey.

Why pay to get yourself all worked up and frustrated and then not be allowed to do what comes naturally to release it all ? :confused:

The only resolution is self abuse, which does'nt cost any more than a tiny fraction of a box of Kleenex and a bit of imagination.

The Martians must be laughing at us again. :rolleyes:

To answer the thread question, I see even less point in watching a mature lap dancer

[ the tony draper syndrome excepted :rolleyes: ;) ].

6th Feb 2004, 18:43
To find out if there is a market...get her to get jiggy on a digital camera...and shove it up on the internet. A link from Pprune should do. See how much traffic she gets. If you need a director or cameraman, my rates are very reasonable. :cool:

I'm pretty sure there would be a market....type into google MILF and see what I mean :E

6th Feb 2004, 22:45
What do they mean you can't touch? What the hells the point then?:{

Boss Raptor
6th Feb 2004, 22:52
It is said that many men have a preference 'for the girl next door' type hence 'Horny Housewife' type publications on the top shelf...which my friend has told me about :E

surely not
6th Feb 2004, 23:53
I'm told it varies from venue to venue how much contact there is.
Those who work around LHR seem to have a good deal with several establishments to choose from according to conversations I have had.

Oh Ok............ I have been to one of them!!! It was after a social event and it seemed a funway to end the day. One of the girls I chatted to reckoned to take home around 250-300 for her 6 hour stint. All they have to do is wriggle and smile, not exactly difficult. The older dancers (in their 30's?) seemed to be a little more subtle and sensual IMHO. I didn't like the too blatant approach.

Capn Notarious
7th Feb 2004, 06:57
Lap dancing is only for the brave observer and skilled exponent.
One bad move and she could pierce yer bales and stumps. The eyes would water and they'd not be tears of joy.

7th Feb 2004, 07:01
Surely not, surely not !

Alright, alright, I've been to a couple of these establishments on some lads nights out - however a friend of mine just had to go one step further, and somehow got his way with one of the dancers.

Of course being a DJ on a large northern radio station might help, doesn't it, M... Oh, lets leave it at that....

7th Feb 2004, 09:27
The only resolution is self abuse, which does'nt cost any more than a tiny fraction of a box of Kleenex and a bit of imagination.

Tiny fraction Anthony, or just a fraction? :p ;) :ok:

Fuji :)

Anthony Carn
7th Feb 2004, 14:40
It matters not Fujiflyer.

One could even splash out on a box. :p :E

The Nr Fairy
7th Feb 2004, 15:54
AC - if you splahs out on a box, perhaps an inflatable doll would be a better choice.

As for me, I went to the Crazy Horse in ADL a few times, and suffered - gracefully - the attentions of a few young ladies :E and I got one particular lady to dance for me because her chest reminded me of a girl at work, so next time I saw Jane I'd have a better idea what was under her jumper !

7th Feb 2004, 17:14
:eek: Shame on you !

Anthony Carn
7th Feb 2004, 17:33
AC - if you splahs out on a box, perhaps an inflatable doll would be a better choice.
Inflatable dolls don't have very realistic or satisfying boxes, Nr Fairy.

:hmm: :uhoh:

Err...............so I'm told, you understand. :O

(Apart from which, I'd have to do the cleaning up.)

7th Feb 2004, 17:38
And there was me thinking it must be some kind of strange Canadian custom to lick salt off a particularly beautiful lass's tits, take a bit of lime from her mouth and then bury your head in her bosum again in search of a shot glass of Tequila....

Its the only explanation, I must have been in a Lap Dancing bar....

The Nr Fairy
8th Feb 2004, 00:06

You're right, I should be ashamed ! I could have saved the cost of the lapdance, by asking Jane to show me her chest . . .

8th Feb 2004, 00:10
And after you were sacked for sexual harressment, you could have set up a lap-dancing club! Or a bra fitting service.

Onan the Clumsy
8th Feb 2004, 00:20
The only resolution is self abuse, which does'nt cost any more than a tiny fraction of a box of Kleenex and a bit of imagination.A tiny fraction, or a tiny friction?

The Invisible Man
8th Feb 2004, 00:23
She's going to do it but needs a stage name.....

Any suggestions???:rolleyes:

surely not
8th Feb 2004, 00:25
How about Saffron.............adds taste and very expensive:ok:

8th Feb 2004, 00:50
Shirley the point here is if it lights your candle enjoy it because life is to short :ok: Dont worry about the extra pennies unless you subscribe to a certain religious faith :O

Dark Knight
8th Feb 2004, 09:27
Topcat 450 you undoubtedly mean the Moro Islamic Liberation Front?

8th Feb 2004, 09:40
Chaffers, motorboat's a strange Canadian custom. One sticks one's nose between the ladys t!tt!es and makes outboard motor sounds. The one with the salt and limes sounds vaguely Mexican. ;)