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Capt Vegemite
9th Jun 2001, 04:02
Northern territory News,Saturday,June 9,2001

Darwin man puts works in a spanner
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Fire brigade officers were forced to use bolt cutters to free a Darwin man's penis from a 19mm ring spanner,officials confirmed yesterday.

Hmmm.. well yes..perhaps this could have been a job for the jaws of life?

Was it a virgin spanner?

Is this a first for Darwin and the world?

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click for signature (http://www.enter.net/%7Erichmar/Images/Farside/farside23.jpg)

[This message has been edited by Capt Vegemite (edited 09 June 2001).]

Cyclic Hotline
9th Jun 2001, 06:43
Two questions;

From the story, it was a little unclear whether they cut off the spanner or the cock!

Secondly, was this some form of deviant sexual activity - a RING spanner?

Darwin - constantly evolving!

[This message has been edited by Cyclic Hotline (edited 09 June 2001).]

OzPax1
9th Jun 2001, 06:48
Now I know why they call Darwin the 'Top End'!! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

:) :) :)

OzPax1 http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/cool.gif

OzExpat
9th Jun 2001, 07:46
Capt V... Why on erath would you want to do that to yourself?? http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif Surely not just for the publicity? :)

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Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!

sprocket
9th Jun 2001, 09:51
...19mm???. Mmmm about 3/4 inch. Jeez, must have been a tight fit just getting it in. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

Moral of the story? Never loan pilots your tools! :)

Couldn't resist this comment either ... But 'what sort of tool would put a tool on his tool?'

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sprocket: .. No standards? Nooo problems!

[This message has been edited by sprocket (edited 09 June 2001).]

Capt Vegemite
9th Jun 2001, 09:55
Hmmmm...maybe he was trying to tighten his nuts up?

Do not try this at home kiddies!

Mac the Knife
9th Jun 2001, 14:17
Y'know this sort of thing isn't that uncommon, though I still haven't worked out why chaps do it. Hex nuts are popular.

A splitter usually works, except with the one chap who used some superstrength alloy ring. Nothing in the workshop would touch it. The cops eventually located a local company who sent out a couple of chaps with a thin diamond-coated disc saw. Lots of cooling water spray and I had to slip some protection in between to stop the organ being sliced open. Not much room there.
Tip: the finer blades from a feeler guage are thin and flexy enough.

Pork sword looked quite unhappy for a few days but eventually made a full recovery.

Capt Claret
9th Jun 2001, 18:49
I can remember a news paper story from about 25 years ago, about a guy in Melbourne (not me) who on his buck's night had a whole stack of washers threaded onto his old fellah by his mates, who then dumped him at casualty at PANCH (Preston & Northcote Community Hospital).

Whilst discussing this morning, the very article referred to by Cap Vegemite, we got into an animated conversation about related things.

The F/O told us about one poor skipper who opened a bottle of coke from the mini bar and noticed, after he'd taken a swig, that it smelt funny.

A closer inspection revealed that the coke bottle had previously been in a orifice not really designed for coke bottles! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

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bottums up !


[This message has been edited by Capt Claret (edited 09 June 2001).]

Ranger One
10th Jun 2001, 01:29
This is just about relevant...

http://www.barnsdle.demon.co.uk/span/span1.html

Don't ask...

R1

Capt Vegemite
10th Jun 2001, 01:37
Werent me Ozexpat, believe the blighters name is Sid Chrome.

heehee (http://www.southwest.com.au/~kerr/animated/flasher1.gif)

Davaar
10th Jun 2001, 02:12
Don't think so, Capt...Darwin Man, the Spanner Spammer.

ShyTorque
10th Jun 2001, 03:53
Apparently he is a gullible dyslexic.

He thought he was about to get it off with a tight w(r)ench.

Davaar
10th Jun 2001, 04:47
Mind you, can't deny these threads are educational. Good value from Mac the Knife: feeler gauges; high speed saws; the relative difficulty of carpentry on (a) mahogany and (b) human bones; and even that question a few days back. I smiled at the innocence. Didn't know what "clap" meant! HoHoHo. Everyone knows it's syphilis! Oh! It's not? I see. Golly. The Scottish Bird stood a hair or two on end too.
Now I don't want to miss an instalment.

OzExpat
10th Jun 2001, 10:45
Capt V... probably just as well that you're denying involvement ... after all, 19mm isn't large enough to boast about! :)

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Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!

Capt Vegemite
10th Jun 2001, 12:07
Oz

karot bilong mi bikpela more i no 19mm tasol.
nam bilong mi "Johny Holmes of Waigaini Swamp"

lukim hia (http://www.animatedgif.net/naughty/dancer_e0.gif)

OzExpat
11th Jun 2001, 08:53
Capt V... wanem dispela mauswara? Sapos yu gat karot i bikpela moa? Aaiiyy! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif Mi tingim ol yungpela meri ino laik pilay wantaim donger bilong yu! :)

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Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!

Davaar
11th Jun 2001, 16:43
Sapos dispela wanna bilong yupela talkin samting autodidact. Yupela say dispela no moa karot pommie [email protected]@rd?

Capt Vegemite
12th Jun 2001, 03:40
Jesus! the Sage of Saskatchewan speaks pidjin???

Hey Dr Davaar I have been curious about an earlier post of yours.
You mentioned that the earth must be flat because in Southern Saskatchewan(bugger of a name to type)a dog running away can be seen for three days.
Is this in fact an old Inuit saying?
It sounds similar to another Indian saying concerning two dogs.

Allow me to share with you some ancient aboriginal sayings that go back thousands of years...

"The flat hot desert is full of danger and misery,and is best traversed in a Landcruiser."

Another..."The Rainbow Serpent brings thunder and much rain and flooding to the valleys,so stay on your roof until the helicopters come"

and..."The propellors of the mission plane blow red dust in our kava bowls"

Injuns! (http://www.mathematik.uni-marburg.de/~hampel/larson/grey/indians.jpg)




[This message has been edited by Capt Vegemite (edited 12 June 2001).]

OzExpat
12th Jun 2001, 20:39
Capt V...

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" size="2">a dog running away can be seen for three days</font>

I had an old dog like that once too! :)

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Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!

Davaar
22nd Jun 2001, 23:52
Been Away, Capt Veg.
I know that saying of yours about the dogs. Two dogs, I think, but usually they come by the pack.

Yes, the plains are flat. You can ski from prairie down towards Qu’Appelle River valley, vertical drop 15', but use care on the black diamond run). Our pipple are Cree, though, not Inuit. After Crazy Horse met Yella Ha’ar and the Long Knives, Sitting Bull and the Sioux came to visit, but they left again. Couldn’t stand the endless repartee in Ukrainian about wheat. So the drums say. I know how they felt.

Today, our pipple yearn for the Old Ways: the Bingo, and maybe a Casino like the Iroquois in the east. Smuggle a few cases of cigarettes. Move a few immigrants across the river to NY. Mind you, some of those Iroquois Warriors actually are from NYC, so they have the connections.

Our pipple go to the Long House, to the medicine chest, for the Raybans and the suede fringes. Then by iron bird to the rain dance at Ottawa for heavy wampum. They are not alone. Other pipple have the Family Farm and the Subsidy (“Too Little; Too Late” ;).

Samting yupela road bilong cargo.

As you say, Saskatchewan is a lot of spelling – I almost said a mouthful, which brings me back to the thread. O K, I know I am discursive. The Elders tell of the Warrior admitted to the Plains Health Centre. The Wise Old Woman examined him and emerged with the news that the word “WAN” was tattooed on the end of his willie. A young nubile nurse went to check the phenomenon, and returned, Hee Hee Hee, the word was really: “Saskatoon, Saskatchewan”.

Oh well,it went over well at the Mission.