View Full Version : Philosophy

8th Jun 2001, 00:09
A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full?
They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up the remaining gaps.

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognise that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your
partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take
your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal."

"Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

But then...

A student took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer. Of course the beer soaked into the sand, making the jar truly full.

The moral of this tale is: That no matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER.

Lend me 10, I'll buy you a drink & Mother wake me early in the morning...

8th Jun 2001, 00:12
At last - a philosophy I can embrace whole-heartedly!

Breeding Per Dementia Unto Something Jolly Big, Toodle-pip

12th Jun 2001, 05:22

12th Jun 2001, 05:40
Still, if it keeps it at the top...

Lend me 10, I'll buy you a drink & Mother wake me early in the morning...

Feeton Terrafirma
12th Jun 2001, 14:11
A fine attempt at philosophy. Only one small correction required. Who ever heard of a beer drinking philosopher? Red wine on the other hand........

I'm not a PPRuNe addict. (just need one more post)

12th Jun 2001, 14:30
As Monty Python said (or rather sang).....

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table
David Hume could out consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel

There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach
About the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself, was permanently pissed
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
Plato they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whisky every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene' Descartes was a drunken fart
"I drink, therefore I am"

Socrates, himself, is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker
But a bugger when he's pissed

[This message has been edited by JPJ (edited 12 June 2001).]

13th Jun 2001, 08:20
Only a Philosophy student would be stupid enough to waste beer like that...

Through difficulties to the cinema

The Mistress
13th Jun 2001, 17:31
Symptom: Your singing sounds distorted.

Fault: The beer is too weak.

Action: Have more beer until your voice improves.

13th Jun 2001, 17:35
"You're too pi$$ed to sing Brian, so you'll have to drive..."

Lend me 10, I'll buy you a drink & Mother wake me early in the morning...