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ickle black box
7th Jun 2001, 03:05
I came across some airline interview questions in Wannabe's, and was wondering if you JB'ers would be kind enough to let me know if I should turn up for the interview!


1. Tell us about yourself.

I is chilled out

2. What can you bring to this company?

24 pack of Fosters, 200 fags an a stereo! lets have a party

3. Have you ever had an Emergency?

only when the girlfriends parents came home 2 hours early,... we wos in the lounge ..

4. How did you deal with it?

ran like hell into the night!

5. How did you get started in Aviation?

my mate Dave had these pills that make you fly!

6. Who have been your role model's, or who has had the most influence on you?

The geezer down the social office, he gives me money for beer an fags

7. What goal's do you have?

Had a crackin goal last week, 30yds out, when right in the top left of the net

8. What are some goal's that you had that were never achieved, and how did you deal with it?

the ref once got his [email protected] in the way of the goal, I was batterin him till me mates sorted him out instead

9. Where do you see yourself in 10 year's?

chillin out down the town each night

10. What is your greatest accomplishment?

with this bird down the club, she was well up for it

11. How would you fly this SID?

SID ... you mean std?? steer clear of em mate

12. We see, your flying various type's of aircraft for different companies, how will you feel about coming to work here and just flying one type of aircraft. Will it become monotonous, boring?

I just sleep an let autopilot fly the plane anyway

13. We have a 5:30am show every morning, how do you feel about that?

I'll just have to come here straight from my night out on the town

14. The Capt. continues an approach beyond minimum's, he tell's you that he's shot this approach a 1,000 times, know's the area, and everything's fine. What will you do?

close my eyes, what I can't see can't hurt me

15. You find your Capt. drinking before a flight, how will you handle this?

we'll have a few beers together, then hit the vodka's

16. You are talking to the Capt., and you smell alcohol. Although you didn't see him drinking, what would you do?

What's he doing down the bar without me???

17. You smell smoke in the cockpit, what initial action should you take?

nick one of me captains fags an light up too

18. Then what do you do?

little smoke, offer him one of the specials from my rasta mate down Clapham

19. The Capt. tell's you the smoke is normal and it will clear itself, 15 minutes later the condition is growing worse. The Capt. gives you the same response.. now, what would you do?

get the flight eng to have his smoke outside the cockpit

20. The aircraft is loaded way beyond gross wt., the Capt. tell's you that he does this all the time, and the aircraft will fly. What do you do?

damn that duty free, that beer's heavy. Got no choice, but to close me eyes at the end of the runway an pray

21. You have been cleared for take-off, upon getting airborne with the gear in the well's, what kind of conversation are you going to have with the Capt?

talk about the babe's we were getting jiggy with in the bar last night

22. Can you brief this approach?

we get autoland to do all the tedious stuff

23. What is V one?

Vodka mixa

24. I see your flying various twin's, do they all have a critical engine?

I'll find out if one stops

25. Which one's do not, and why?

none stopped yet, so I don't know

26. Can you define Balanced Field Length?

decent spread of me footie mates down the pitch

27. You find yourself flying with an arrogant Capt., and you have a real personality clash, how do you deal with this?

give him one of me specials, he'll chill out

28. Your the PIC on one of our Lear's, your taking off on a 13,000' runway with clear skies and unlimited visibility, upon getting airborne you have an emergency and the co-pilot call's out that there's a problem. With 11,000 feet of runway still in front of you, and the gear still down, what would you do?

no. nope. no emergency, I loaded the duty free myself. It's not still on the ramp

29. You have the Pres., the V.P., and the board of Director's in the back, and they are ADAMANT about getting to a shareholder meeting on time. You get 30 mile's from your destination, and the arrival airport is covered under a LVL 6 cell. The Cell has very little movement, what would you do?

use autoland

30. We see your flying a _________. Tell us about this aircraft. ( the question's are endless here with engine's and system's, etc.)

it takes me, Dave an shed loads of duty free

31. We fly Part 91, and you taxi out to the runway at an uncontrolled field. The vis. is so low that you can only see 100ft in front of you, can you take-off?

no, thats we we use auto-takeoff

32. What is the most difficult decision that you have had to make? Aviation or non-aviation related? What did you learn from it?

should I get jiggy with Dave's ex, learnt always go for it, cos he don't need her no more

33. If you were a professional pilot and had an early morning trip; how would you prepare yourself for this trip?

hit the bars till, 4am, an go straight to work. then I can't oversleep

34. Discuss a bad situation which you managed to turn around?

was seeing this fat bird ... relocated her to dumpville

35. If you could no longer fly due to medical reasons; what would you do?

photocopy me mates medical certificate

36. Besides good pay why do you want to be a professional pilot?

they get all the fit chicks and hosties don't they?

37. What makes a great pilot?

chills out, comes down the bars, does the hosties

38. What makes a bad pilot?

doesn't do the drinking an the smokin'

39. Most people have a person in their lives that influenced their career. Who was your mentor?

When my mate Steve wos nicked, I knew I shouldn't get into cars

40. Discuss a typical briefing of an instrument approach to minimums?

autoland 'ON'

41. Based on your aircraft discuss a flight in IFR as well as icing-conditions?

Icing, cold.. we put our coats on, and chill the beers on the windscreen

42. Your aviation career although progressing nicely is happening very slowly. How do you feel about this situation?

I'm just chillin out, no need to rush

43. What event in your life caused you to feel the way you do about aviation and flying?

I'm a nervous pax, I like to drive

44. What are some of the limitations of your aircraft and yourself?

I put away 25 beers a night, but I put 400 duty free away in the back of the Piper

45. How would you rate yourself in relation to communication skills, dependability, and integrity? 1-10

is 1 good an 10 bad, or is it the other way round?? 5, just to be safe

46. If you attain all your goals as a professional pilot what do you intend to give back to aviation?

I'll pleasure the hosties

Have I got the job?? ickle ;)

ExSimGuy
7th Jun 2001, 11:15
I'll fly with you, Ickle, as long as I get to share the beers and the "specials from your mate in Clapham"

(great chuckle - worth sending back to the top :) )

Tinstaafl
7th Jun 2001, 21:08
Ickle, if I ever get an interview can mention you as my mentor?

ickle black box
8th Jun 2001, 01:54
Tinstaafl, If you're at the interview, and you're sure it's the right airline, and you'll get to fly the best aircraft, with an offer of 100k a year, with a captaincy after two years, yep, you may gently drop a hint that I was your mentor. Yes mate, you've just got yourself the job!!

ickle ;)

Luke SkyToddler
8th Jun 2001, 03:07
That, Ickle, is bloody good! It is so much a perfect description of my last flatmate that it's almost uncanny ...