View Full Version : Excuse me Officer, did you drop your guts?

Cyclic Hotline
6th Jun 2001, 21:33
Police seek flatulent officer

LONDON (Reuters) - Police are seeking a flatulent officer after a family complained that a policeman broke wind in their London home during a drugs raid and failed to apologise.

A Scotland Yard spokesman confirmed that the Department of Professional Standards was investigating a charge that an officer broke wind in the complainants' hallway but did not apologise to the homeowners.

"We can confirm that the department is investigating an incivility charge during the search of a home under the Misuse of Drugs act," the police spokesman told Reuters.

On Wednesday the Daily Mail printed a letter from Scotland Yard to the officers involved in the drugs raid informing them of the complaint.

"An allegation has been received from a person in the house that one of the male officers broke wind and did not apologise to the family for his action...the complainant felt it was rude and unprofessional," the letter stated.

6th Jun 2001, 22:01
5h1t happens.

7th Jun 2001, 02:15
They ought to be thankful he didn't drop his trousers and dump in their hallway! :)

7th Jun 2001, 04:52
At first I thought this was a silly complaint, then I looked in to it a bit further... here's a couple more details.

Since the alleged arse blowing one of the children has gone cross eyed, the mere mention of "deep pile" carpet has the lady of the house in tears, and they haven't been able to coax the dog out from under the dining room table.

If you look at the facts I suppose they're not going too far overboard on this one!


Agaricus bisporus
7th Jun 2001, 06:00
Isnt this just typical of the sick victim culture that the grinning idiot in No10 is developing around us.

A policeman on a drugs raid is accused by the dopers of farting in their house and they actually take this as a serious complaint!!!! Im gobsmacked. Suspected criminals complain about that and the police waste time even listening to it while our streets are scarcely safe to walk on at times. God help us all.

Ed Winchester
7th Jun 2001, 06:12
"You have the right to remain silent..........but deadly!"

Tartan Gannet
7th Jun 2001, 12:39
I agree totally with AB on this. I have many friends who are coppers, the chaps on the front line up to Inspector, NOT the stuffed shirt Superintendants and Assistant Chief Constable/ Assistant Commissioner types who have too much "scrambled egg" on the peak of their caps and cow tow to politicians on committees or police a nice office.

These chaps in the course of their duty have been vomited on, urinated and defecated on by totally drunk people or those out of their box on drugs, had used tampons thrown at them. They stand the risk of many diseases from those they arrest even HIV/AIDS from hypodermic needles, to say nothing of lice from some people they have to deal with.

As for those complaining about the farting policeman Id give them a few days in the cells for wasting Police Time.

The Nr Fairy
7th Jun 2001, 14:43
I remember seeing a small article in the news some years ago about a New York policeman who was disciplined by their equivalent of Complaints and Discipline for "Felonious Flatulence". If I remember rightly, he was in the police station at the time, with a prisoner, and dropped one. Apparently what got whoever's goat was the way he wiggled his leg just afterwards - as if that might improve the smell !!

7th Jun 2001, 14:59
Umm, lemme see if I've understood this correctly. The folks laying this complaint are drug felons?

Geez... don't that beat all! :rolleyes:

Perhaps the copper in question was merely trying to improve the aroma in the residence? You know ... like trying to make the place more homely and livable? :)

And lemme hazard a rash guess ... there's no fahting in gaol ... right? ;)

Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!

Tricky Woo
7th Jun 2001, 15:08
For once, I agree with Tartan Gannet: The Police are the bastion of British society and I won't hear a word said against them. Wasting Police time is a very serious matter which generates unnecessary paperwork, wastes time that could be put to better use, and undermines the morale of the people who protect us from the minority of people who seem to think that criminal acts can go unpunished. People who see this thread as being funny are missing the underlying seriousness of this sort of situation.

Just the other day, I saw a Volvo on the hard shoulder of the M20 motorway with a Traffic Police car parked behind. Clearly, the criminal driver had been speeding or something. Thank God that the Plod stopped him. The Jam Butty had its blue flashing lights on so that other would be speeding criminals could see that no matter how fast they go, the long arm of the law will catch 'em. Evil, speeding bastards.

Furthermore, it's good to see that the Old Bill are continuing to resist calls to investigate racist attacks. So what if it ends up trigering a riot or two: Standards must be maintained, otherwise further Police time will be wasted that could be spent on investigating criminal attacks on white folks.

Lastly, I abhor people who expect El Cid to behave like responsible human beings when they search their houses. Clearly, these people must be very guilty of something or other. Why else would the Police plant drugs during the search if these people were innocent of something? That simply wouldn't happen. Farting is too good for these scum.

I hope I've made myself clear.


7th Jun 2001, 15:09
Just wait, someone will put in for damages after there fellow pilot drops one on the flight deck.


7th Jun 2001, 15:36
It is an ill wind that blows no good.....

Say again, Approach....you want us to do what???

7th Jun 2001, 16:43
In this very serious matter here's the other side of the story. I guess you could call this "Breaking News" :) :)

Here's an article from a local,(Sydney,Oz), daily rag.


A man has been convicted and fined $200 for passing wind.
Da*** Jo*n Gri*ti plans to appeal after the ruling in a Melbourne suburban court.
In what is believed to be the first case of its kind,Gri*ti was charged with after breaking wind near a police officer in August.
The forklift operator had been in the lock-up at Werribee police station for being drunk. As he passed the front counter he passed wind.
A magistrate in the Werribee court convicted and fined him $200, saying the action was intended to cause anger and disgust.
Angela McAvoy, of the Crohn's and Colitis Association, said yesterdays court finding was a dangerous precedent.
She said she hoped her members, who suffered from bowel-related conditions, would not find themselves at risk of prosecution because of inability to control gasses.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

7th Jun 2001, 17:04
Hey guys, slow down!!

It does not say in Cyclic Hotlines post that the complainants were arrested or charged on any offences.

Innocent till proven guilty, right?

As for the copper, hmmm, should he be allowed to walk into peoples homes and fart and not apologise? I don't think so and I doubt anyone else would think so either!

If it had happened in my house I would have shoved his head right up his @rse I tell ya!! Dirty bleeder!! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

VFE. :)

[This message has been edited by VFE (edited 07 June 2001).]