PDA

View Full Version : hey girls!


dingducky
6th Jun 2001, 20:13
Mental Anxiety

Mental Breakdowns

Menstrual cramps

Menopause

Do you ever notice how all our problems begin with M_E_N (Men).


------------------
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Pilot's sex kitten
6th Jun 2001, 20:26
Hmmm funny that! But even though they are MENaces that would fit in better in a MENagerie sometimes, particularly when they suffer from MENdacity, they can still be MENtors and as long as they MENd things and help with the MENial chores, I wouldn't be without them!

------------------
A little of what you fancy does you good...but a lot makes you feel ecstatic.

Ed Winchester
7th Jun 2001, 04:06
It works both ways!

HERpes

HERnias

However, as long as you're not a HERmaphrodite, then I'm happy!

ExSimGuy
7th Jun 2001, 12:07
Another typical sexist, non-PC, female chauvinist post from DD :mad:

Men have emotions too you know, what right do you think you have to batter them like that, just because you think you're a "superior" female?

Tartan Gannet
7th Jun 2001, 12:27
I actually found DDs posting funny.My God! Am I acquiring a mild sense of humour at the age of 48?????? ;)

flapsforty
7th Jun 2001, 12:41
TG, Quick! Think of Tony Blair, the PC-brigade and Hugmonster and all will be well! :)

As a matter of fact mate, I have noticed unmistakable signs of an incipient sense of humour emanating from your posts of late.
I reckon you're beyond salvage, you're gonna show signs of PC-ness next! :)

'Onya Ducks, funny one! ;)

OzExpat
7th Jun 2001, 15:15
Is that why, in these days of the battle of the sexist, we don't see many blokes named herMAN? :)

------------------
Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!

mad_jock
7th Jun 2001, 15:48
DEFINITION OF OUTDOOR BARBECUING:


When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events
is put into motion:
1. The woman goes to the store.
2. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray
along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is
lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer.
4. The man places the meat on the grill.
5. The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
7. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
8. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
10. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed " her night off. "
11. The woman displays an irritated, aggressive attitude.

Looks like there's just no pleasing some women.

Baggy
8th Jun 2001, 18:47
Why are blonde jokes so short?

So that men can understand them!

:) :)

mad_jock
8th Jun 2001, 19:03
I have all the germans i work with thinking that wife stands for:

Washing.
Ironing.
F!cking.
Etc.

I told them this in a rash moment in the pub and now most of them believe it.

And er.. most of them think Ms is a statement of sexual preference becuase of that night as well. I have since then been repeatedly slapped by the expat girls.

MJ


edited to put the ! in


[This message has been edited by mad_jock (edited 08 June 2001).]

Velvet
8th Jun 2001, 19:16
And to even up the score (especially for ExSimGuy)

Rules That Guys Wish Girls Knew!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

2. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

3. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear.

5. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as navel lint, the christmas tree formation, and fast cars.

8. Saturday = Football. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

11. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

12. Crying is blackmail.

13. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

14. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it.

15. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

16. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress.

17. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

18. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

19. Check your oil please.

20. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

21. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways make you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

22. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway, it's genetic.

23. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

24. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the adverts

25. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

26. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends - like THEIR relationship is so much better.

27. All men see only in 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach for example is a fruit not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

28. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

29. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

30. If we ask what is wrong and you say "Nothing," we will act like nothing
is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


-------------
A dream is reality unrealised

[This message has been edited by Velvet (edited 08 June 2001).]

Kaptin M
8th Jun 2001, 19:35
"I love you" does NOT mean I understand you, or that I want to spend the rest of my life with you...it might not even mean that I'll have any emotions for you after the sun comes up - unless I have od'd on Prozac!!

........................................................

A nightmare is definitely female orientated!! Whoever had a "nightstallion/gelding"??

sprocket
9th Jun 2001, 11:12
:) Nice one Velvet, that list gave me a warm feeling all over.


------------------
sprocket: .. No standards? Nooo problems!