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View Full Version : Menopausal Women against Taleban


Bird Strike
27th Oct 2001, 22:35
Someone sent me this...


Take all American Women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna.
Drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.
Think about it!! Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.
We've had our children; we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning.
We have nothing to lose.
We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all
We've spent years tracking down our husbands in malls, bars, hardware tores, or sporting events......finding Bin Laden in some cave will be no problem!
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, lease. We've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinner for years...we understand tribal warfare.

Between all women, some have divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it...with or without government's help! Shared intelligence!
Let us go and fight! The Taliban hates women. (How did they think they got here?) Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their terrain.

Velvet
27th Oct 2001, 22:46
Between the menopausal women and the ConP's ultimate weapon, I think the Taleban ought to just give up now.

flapsforty
27th Oct 2001, 23:18
:D Birdy Absolutely Brilliant! :D

AerBabe
27th Oct 2001, 23:25
:D :D :D :D :D

Not much else I can say really!

redsnail
28th Oct 2001, 01:54
Well, for the front line shock troops go some 30 something women with PMT. No prisoners, no predictable strategy and tactics. Totally explosive and unpredicatable, makes nitroglycerine look like play doh. :D

Flypuppy
28th Oct 2001, 01:59
Did you hear about the Irish female assasin that was sent to blow up bin Laden?
She got her Semtex mixed up with her tampax and blew the wrong c**t up. :eek:

Paterbrat
28th Oct 2001, 04:18
Oooooooops??!!!8**## :eek: :eek:

Feeton Terrafirma
28th Oct 2001, 05:33
Birdy farking brilliant!!

Have you emailed this to George Bush?

BlueDiamond
28th Oct 2001, 05:45
They're not hot flashes, Birdy ... they're POWER SURGES!

:D :D :D

lame
28th Oct 2001, 11:45
This would be too cruel, even against bin Laden... :eek: :rolleyes: ;)

Probably against the Geneva Convention. :D

sprocket
28th Oct 2001, 14:55
Ha! .. Since when have menopausal women needed weapons?? :)

Whirlybird
28th Oct 2001, 21:52
Birdy, I love it :D :D :D :D :D

I'm off to join the front line!

Blacksheep
29th Oct 2001, 09:51
But wouldn't the Taliban just chuck a bag over their heads and kick 'em into the kitchen where they belong??

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Through difficulties to the cinema