View Full Version : Next, on Taliban TV...

The Guvnor
24th Oct 2001, 00:29
Today's Taliban TV listings

6.00am: G-Had TV. Morning prayers.

8.30am: Talitubbies. Talitubbies say "A-llah". Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher.

9.00am: Shouts of Praise. More prayers.

11.00am: Jihad's Army. The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels.

12.00pm: Ready, Steady, Jihad! Celebrities make lethal devices out of everyday objects.

12.30pm: Panoramadan. The programme reports on America's attempts to take over the world.

1.30pm: Xena: Modestly dressed Housewife. Xena stays at home and does some cooking.

2.00pm: Only Fools and Camels. Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas.

2.30pm: Green Peter. The total of Kalashnikovs bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed.

3.00pm: Madrasah Challenge. Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions.'Starter for ten, no praying.'

3.30pm: I Love 629. A look back at the events of the year, including the Prophet's entry into Mecca, and the destruction of pagan idols.

4.00pm: Question Time. Members of the public face questions from political and religious leaders.

5.00pm: Koranation Street. Deirdrie faces execution by stoning for adultery.

5.30pm: Middle-East Enders. The entire cast is jailed for unislamic behavior.

6.00pm: Holiday. The team go on pilgrimage to Mecca. Again.

6.30pm: Top of the Prophets. Will the Koran be No.1 for the 63,728th week running?

7.00pm: Who wants to be a Mujahadin? Mahmoud Tarran asks the questions. Will contestants phone a mullah, go 'inshallah', or ask the Islamic council?

9.00pm: FILM: Shariah's Angels. The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to educate women.

9.30pm: Big Brother. Who will be taken out of the house and executed this week?

10.30pm: Shahs in their Eyes. More hopefuls imitate famous destroyers of the infidel.

11.30pm: They think it's Allah over. Quiz culminating in the 'don't feel the Mullah' round.

12.00am: When Imams attack. Amusing footage shot secretly in mosques. The filmers were also secretly shot.

12.30am: The West Bank Show. Arts programme looking at anti-Israel graffiti art in the occupied territories.

1.30am: Bhuffi the Infidel Slayer.

[ 23 October 2001: Message edited by: The Guvnor ]

24th Oct 2001, 13:00
Oh Guv

Saw this a couple of days ago, didn't post it because I thought it had both religious and political bias.

Am I right? Can the PPRuNe moderator for Jet Blast comment on this??

Many thanks

24th Oct 2001, 14:21

Terribly sorry old bean - I was just trying to show what a jolly and topical chap I am. I must admit I didn't really compile the list either, just a bit more cutting and pasting. Next time I'll try to be more original! :D :D :D

24th Oct 2001, 15:37
The Guvnor

Wasn't complaining as I found it very amusing. Just wasn't sure how it 'sat' in the current sensorship climate.

The Guvnor
24th Oct 2001, 16:08
Evanelpus - That wasn't me; it was by some lesser character that doesn't have the originality (or imagination) to get his own identity. :rolleyes: :D :rolleyes:

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