Send me your cliches

[BelixA]

I thought I'd finally "let the cat out of the bag", I'm building a list of cliches used in the RAF. If you've got some good ones or just fancy a look visit www.rafcliches.co.uk
If youve got a good one thats not on the site either email it to me via the website or post it below.
thanks,
BelixA

[BEagle]

Some of your list would appear to be Service similies rather than cliches? But best of luck. Here's are some more for you:

"I hear what you say"

"Not up for discussion"

..and of course "No-one will be worse off as a result":yuk:

[BelixA]

Cheers BEagle, point taken, but rafsimilies.co.uk didnt sound as good. I'll add them to the list.

[Reichman]

A selection from the old 241 OCU (VC10) Phrase Book:

In my day

Bottom line

Ticks in boxes

Put this one to bed

Simulator update

Touch base

Belfast

At this moment in time

Inter alia

Re-invent the wheel

Point of contact

Don't say "Whoops" say "Spoilers"

Bailiwick

Safe pair of hands

Heads up

Heads down

Heads above water

Press to test

When I was on Belfasts/Comets/Britannias/Wapitis

Blah blah blah.

[Bo Nalls]

Right, heads up & pay attention,

I think we need to hit the ground running, keep our eye on the ball, and make sure that we are singing off the same song-sheet. At the end of the day it is not a level playing field and the goalposts may move; if they do, someone may have to pick it up and run with it. We therefore must have a golf bag of options hot-to-trot from the word "go". It is your train set but we cannot afford to leave it on the back burner; we've got a lot of irons in the fire right now.

We will need to un-stick a few potential poo traps but it all depends on the flash-to-bang time and fudge factor allowed. Things may end up slipping to the left and, if they do, we will need to run a tight ship. I don't want to reinvent the wheel but we must get right into the weeds on this one. If push comes to shove, we may have to up-stumps and then we'll be in a whole new ball game.

I suggest we test the water with a few warmers in the bank. If we can produce the goods then we are cooking with gas. If not, then we are in a world of hurt. I don't want to die in a ditch over it but we could easily end up in a flat spin if people start getting twitchy.

To that end, I want to get around the bazaars and make sure the movers and shakers are on side from day one. If you can hit me with your shopping list I can take it to the head honchos and start the ball rolling. I know you're not the sharpest tool in the box and may be a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but together we'll be the best thing since sliced bread.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and I think we have backed a winner here. If it gets blown out of the water, however, I will be throwing a track. So get your feet into my in-tray and give me chapter and verse as to how you see things panning out. As long as our ducks are in a row I think the ball will stay in play and we can come up smelling of roses.

Before you bomb-burst and throw smoke it is imperative we nail our colours to the mast and look at the big picture. We've got to march to the beat of the drum. We are on a sticky wicket, we'll need to play with a straight bat and watch out for fastballs.

I've been on permanent send for long enough and I've had my ten pence worth. I don't want to rock the boat or teach anyone to suck eggs. We must keep this firmly in our sight picture and not under our hats or it will fall between the cracks. If the cap fits, wear it, but it may seem like pushing fog uphill with a sharp stick.

Did you all get that?

[BelixA]

Awesome. I see I'm going to be busy tonight.
Many thanks, keep em coming.

[Gainesy]

Not me Chief, I'm airframes.

[WASALOADIE]

Do you want to work for someone who values you this much. Rise above the rest!

[Zlin526]

Heard this one in a bar, from somebody talking about a certain young lady in the corner:

"As wet as an otter's pocket";)

[oldships]

Will you accept RN offerings?

"we must get all our **** in one sock"

and (from Pay Officer)

"Certainly not now"

[Chris Kebab]

Longer runways - bigger women.

Badger 1 - 2 - 3

viff viff, nozzley nozzley in my turning trousers/speed jeans

"Nav - Are you sure that's not Aberdeen"

[12 PSI]

Bo,

That's it that's the lot. Fantastic effort and the sign of a mis-spent youth. bu66er - there goes another one. Good effort - follow that..:ok:

[DodgyOpsGuy]

Guess I will run that up the flag pole and see who salutes

[FJJP]

Bo Nalls, of all the posts in all the world, that's got to take the biscuit! Awesome....

[standbyforindia]

"I'm from Headquarters, I'm here to help"..............

SBFI

[smartman]

It's a case of mind over matter. It's my mind, and you don't matter. And that's a truism.

[oldships]

"upstairs for thinking, downstairs for dancing"

[MATZ]

As long as we all think outside the box, I am sure we will all be home in time for tea and medals.

Just remember, there is no I in team (but there is a M and an E!), and there is an US in a n u s.

Operation CERTAIN DEATH anyone?

This is a body bag senario...

[wub]

This opens a whole new can of ballparks

You play ball with me and I'll scratch yours

[Maple 01]

'March in the guilty ba@tard'

'DILAIIGAS?'

'Rough enough for the RAF'

'Went goose over stumps sausage side'

[Pindi]

"I can give you a definite maybe on that"

[MATZ]

We check in, not dig in....

If it's not raining, it's not training

DPMs for dying in not ironing

A day out of uniform is a day wasted

Square heads down...

Army Air Corps is an anagram of sorry I am crap

etc..

[SirToppamHat]

"We are here to defend democracy ... not practise it!"

[Beeayeate]

Need to be kept in the loop so can I get an answer before the turn of the century?

All those that can't tapdance are . . . . :hmm: :rolleyes:

[sarboy w****r]

1. No stick, no vote.

2. If you can't hover you're a poof.

3. White, male aircrew: top of the food chain.

4. If people are still smiling then the banter is not harsh enough.

(c.f. #4 if you feel like taking issue with #1, #2 or #3).

SBW

[Arkroyal]

Top banter, Bo Nalls, that post takes the biscuit.

I'll even march you to collect it, and save you walking.

Do Crabs out of staff college have the annoying habit of shortening the word 'Tactics' to 'Tadics' as the 'Blue Water Navy' lot do?

Out ten years now, and more time off than Rip Van Winkle's bunk light / Bouglas Bader's puttees, and the old grey matter's had more cells than you can shake a big hairy stick at dissolved in ale. And I was only in for half a dog watch.

One old favourite has recently been adapted for civvie street. 'Close enough for Government work' has become 'Good enough for low-cost'. Last time I strapped a kite to my back-side I was climbing like a homesick angel until I found myself upside-down with nothing on the clock but the maker's name (and that was in Japanese), running out of ideas. Wound up in a one to one with the staish, on the Wilton, hat on, negative tea and biscuits................oh shut up Arky and go to bed.

[country calls]

I stood on the Main Gate when you were on Cow and Gate sonny!

[Cardinal Puff]

When I was in Baghdad you were still in your dad's bag, sonny!

Rat packs

Jungle juice

Climb like a fart in a bath

[BOING]

Don't forget to take a look at the Monty Python "RAF Banter" routine!

[SirToppamHat]

Following is paraphrased, but you'll get the drift. Anyone else feel free to amend/correct/post a better version:

'When you're facing the enemy and down to your last clip of ammo with no mates around and your @rse in a sling, just remember your weapon was made by the cheapest bidder.'

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

Okay chaps, drink up your cocoa, lets go and give the Bosch a bit of what-for.

If I'm not back for breakfast, Ginge can have my eggs.


and from the Thin Blue Line...

My arse is vunerable here, and I don't want a cock up.

or

Remember, its your cock up, my arse.

or

My arse is on the line here, and I don't want anyone poking their noses in and sniffing around.

[Monkeyman]

Bo,

Nice one. Obviously blew beagles mind!! No response, must be a first !

[LordyLordy]

There is of course that phrase which QFI’s have always relied on with any struggling students.....

"COME ON BLOGGS THATS BASICS -SHOULDN'T BE ON THE COURSE IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!"

Obviously to be delivered in a supportive and nurturing way…..

[BEagle]

Well, Monkeyman, I did send a comment congratulating bo on his post - but it was eaten by cyberspace gremlins!

So, again, excellent post, bo nalls - except that it makes you sound worryingly like a pushy senior officer!

More cliches:

"I'm the new boss, but I don't expect have to change anything much"

"I think we should change the ops room layout"

"Where does it say that?"

"Your hat, my office"

"My vision is....":yuk:

[Scud-U-Like]

"Enough is enough."

[Small Spinner]

Unless I've missed it, I can't believe no one has mentioned

'Transport is on its way'

And the universal 'Cheque(for my mess bill) is in the post'

[Wizzard]

"Would I like a beer?"















"Does the Pope sh1t in the woods?"

[SASless]

Bo Nall...

Could you say again all after...:ok:

[RubiC Cube]

As its for CXX - late 70s - W/C Flanagan liked everything in writing, so we sent him a "Flanagram".

[tengah chum]

All fur coat and no knickers

[earswentpop]

[Link with Wizzard]

Are bears catholic?

Break, break ...

Sweating like a whore in church

Sweating like a paedophile at a pantomine

Up and down like a whore's drawers on Boat Race night

A face like a half-chewed toffee

A face like a bulldog licking sh1t off a thistle

A face like a blind cobbler's thumb

"Great tits like coconuts" ... and Blue tits like the tops of milk bottles ...

Does anybody know what the **** is going on?

etc ...

This thread has potential chaps ...

[country calls]

Sweating like a PJI in a spelling test

[Mr C Hinecap]

Sweating like a fat lass in a chocolate factory.

I don't care if you can see it - the computer says we've not got one in stock.

Your lack of planning does not make an emergency for me.

Go ugly early.

As mad as a ship's cat.

All over the place like a mad woman's poo.

I don't care how many times they go up-diddly-up-up, they're still g!ts.

A chat with the boss - no coffee - no cumfy chairs.

Is your name Head? Richard Head? Dick Head? Is that you, laddie? There's always one. (parade square, College WO)

Are you smart enough for a b0ll0cking?

Who the F**K put THAT in there? (on opening C-130 ramp)

Just a Captain's Top Up (then asking for 15k of fuel!)

Don't confuse your rank with my authority.

Can you just get this field gun back to the UK for us, mate?

Don't you know how important I think I am?

Base over apex. etc etc etc

[ChristopherRobin]

Beagle said:

Some of your list would appear to be Service similies rather than cliches? But best of luck.

Just to leap to BelixA's defence and never one to miss an opportunity to prove Beagle wrong, particularly when he is being a pedant, a Simile is a figure of speech comparing one thing to another using 'as' or 'like', eg "she goes like a belt-fed wombat".

A cliche is merely an overused idea or phrase, which may include similes but not necessarily so, eg "as good as gold" is one, but an RAF officer wearing a ridiculous moustache could also be seen as being cliched (not to mention terribly sad), and not as the raffish, devil-may-care ladies' man he probably fancies him- or herself as. I'm sure you'd agree that such a sad sack could not be described as a simile.

So well done BelixA for an amusing site, and if you had called it RAFsimiles then you'd be wrong, as well as less catchy.

As wrong as a beagle?

[Maple 01]

As wrong as a beagle?


Isn't that 'as old as a BEagle?'

Regards

-Nick

[smartman]

Student's famil trip. 'Wave goodbye to the marshaller Bloggs - who knows, we may never see him again '.

Quite a decent draft squadron leader, however ---------

[whiz]

You've been in how long sonny..... 6 months ????? !!!!!

Ive stood in NAAFI queues for longer than that !!

[Mr C Hinecap]

Now I do sort of understand the current HQSTC faves of:

The crocodile closest to the canoe. and...

The wolf nearest the sled.

But one from a US Marine Col this very morning:

The longest pole in the tent. What the...????

Any others you have REALLY not got?


Finest mis-quoted one EVER (other witnesses to this):

Being briefed in a desert, a long way from our loved ones, by a female Sqn Ldr from a Joint HQ about some 'stuff':

' About as much use as chocolate tits'

After much sniggering, most men round the table just seemed to drift off for a moment.

[Muppet Leader]

Walked into the Boss’s office, who I might add was into calligraphy, but couldn’t spell to save his life.
Lovely hand written and beautifully framed script on the wall, behind his desk.



"The pen is mightier than the swod"

:ok:

[Flytest]

Firstly Bo Nalls.. Quality mate. :ok:

And further to my RN colleagues offering..

After a Junior rate complained about another of those autocratic decisions..

"Son if you wanted to live in a democracy you should never have joined the forces"

or the old favourite.. "It came off in my hand chief"

"come on lad, spit it out, don't be scared of the badges"

"more neck than a brontosaurus with a time off chit at bikini red"

or for the Avionics Techs.. "No fault found" eh lads??:E

[OldBonaMate]

ChristopherRobin posted:

"but an RAF officer wearing a ridiculous moustache could also be seen as being cliched (not to mention terribly sad), and not as the raffish, devil-may-care ladies' man he probably fancies him- or herself as"

"herself"? The mind boggles!

How about these:

Don't get sore, get even

Life's a bitch, and then you die

Same way, same day

I'd follow him anywhere, if only out of curiosity

The goat is up and running

QFIs and green apples give me the sh**s

Dog and Pony show

When push comes to shove

Kick the tyres, light the fires, last one in the air leads, brief on Guard

[Hobo]

Global overview.

(BTW Arkroyal, I see we're from the same song! Registered a month after you but didn't copy - honest)

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

Slight tangent,

Anyone know the origin of

Cake and Arse (party)

and, also the 'goat', mentioned a couple of posts ago.

[BEagle]

"Do I hear hooves"? (Version of "The goat is out....")

"On mission"

"You've got the hammer" (No idea - some Spam-originated FJ thing)

"Non-reflective lurking in the lumber" (Politically correct version of err, "N****r in the wood pile")

"Stuck on transmit" (He won't listen)

[Lord Trenchards Brat]

Martin-Baker Functional

Social Hand Grenade

Grab the thin end of a reptiles tail, however......is it lizard or a Tyrannosaurus Rex?
:D :D :D

[Art Field]

You don't need to know that. [If you did you could do my job]

That decision is beyond my payscale. [I can't make a wrong decision if I don't make one at all]

[RRAAMJET]

"WTF ?, over"


"Go ahead and break the seal on your manuals, son..."


"I'm going to shove this swagger stick so far up your ar$e, your mother will have labour pains...":ooh:

[Dark Helmet]

A favourite I heard (and used) on most Tornado sqns:

"This will sort the flares from the chaff"

[blaireau]

Heard in bar at Lossie circa 75.
"Just remember sonny, there are two kinds of pilot in this world. Naval Aviators, and the rest of the pricks who fly around in aeroplanes".

[BEagle]

Intrigued to know that the phrase I coined about a (then) VC10 TTF navigator instructor, "He's a social hand grenade" has found its way into common useage! (G***n W****n, for those who remember him!)

[BelixA]

I can't believe the response i've had.
For those of you wondering why i havent updated the site with all these new ones i've been "up to my arse in alligators" all week but I'll be "good to go" soon.
cheers all.

[Arclite01]

'He's a social hand grenade - with the pin out...........!'

added value - always important:D

Arc

[Talking Radalt]

Mate o'mine took a young lady to a summer ball, very impressed she was, verily swept off her stiletto-heeled feet.
And how did he round off the evening/morning?

"Left 'er face looking like a painter's radio" :E

Anyone translate?:ugh:

[Now a 'J' Bloke!!]

"Left 'er face looking like a painter's radio"

Hi Gang;

Sounds like a similar line to ' gave her a pearl necklace'!!!

More Cliches....

However,Comma!!
Not as Such!!
I hear what you are saying!!

Regards to Most...SFS:ok:

[Farfrompuken]

"You don't need the brains of an Archbishop/Rocket Scientist......"

"Every landing you walk away from is a good one"

not sure the next one is well used, but was worthy of comment:

" You're supposed to make love to the sky, not shag it!" Brendon O'Mallon (?) of C4s Spitfire Pilot show

"As camp as a row of tents"

"N.F.I...."

"It's/I'm FUBARed"

etc..

[Muppet Leader]

Or there is always the good one if you have a teenage son like me. . . .

Bedroom design by Claymore !

[Anita Bush]

" I would rather slam my knob in the top drawer of the map chest"

[alamo]

"Bucket of instant sunshine"
"My brain's dot-crossing" [remember the G4 compass?]
"... Leader, I've got a bogey on the nose"
[At Thule] "Behind every tree there's a woman"
"Cheap as a Changi watch"
"Eyes like pee-holes in the snow"
"Dim as a NAAFI candle" [my dad says that]
"Gown by Blacks of Greenock"

[SirToppamHat]

There are only 2 kinds of single officer (living in the Mess) ... those who p*ss in their sinks .... and liars!

[BEagle]

Isn't the correct version "You lie like a cheap Changi watch"?

One I heard recently about the effort equired to hold full rudder in a Meteor on one engine: "It left you with more of a trembling leg than a dog crapping razorblades!"

"MLT failure" (Master Locking Turd failure - i.e. an attack of Malta Dog!)

"Backside going half a crown - sixpence" (In a seriously worrying predicament)

And the old chestnuts like "Rare as rocking horse $hit"......

[propulike]

"The ball's in your court. But it's my ball."

How much fuel? "Fill it 'til it leaks."

Every November about next months' tasking "Is Op Deny Christmas out yet?"

And has no-one here done an 'Ascot Shuffle' or a 'Maritime Mingle'???

[Airbedane]

'Too much thrust is never enough'

'Goes up like a homesick angel'

'Comes down like a brickbuilt (sh*thouse)'

'showusyertits' and '38 Gp pissmeoff' - LIV Sqn stickers circa 1976

'Couldn't organise a sh*t in a dysentery ward, or a fu*k in a brothel - or a PU in a you know what, either!'

Friday night 1700 - 'Take the rest of the week off, son'

'If you can't drink and fly, son, don't fly'

'I feel sorry for those people that don't drink, 'cos when they get up in the morning, that's the best they're going to feel all day'

'Back to my place for an 'eggy-bakes''

'Went down like a lead baloon, or a pork pie in a synagog'

'Sticks out like a KiloNiner' - (Kilo Nine = Canine = canine appendage = dogs boll**ks)

'Going at a great rate (of Knots)'

'Nothing on the clock but the makers name'

'Balls out, or Balls to the wall'

'Going like a drain' - anyone know where that comes from?

'As useless as: Yesterdays metbrief, the runway behind you, the fuel you've just jetisonned, tits on a bull'

......That'll do for now, more later............(apologies for repeats)

[Cardinal Puff]

"...Fly anything with wings except a bucket of fried chicken!"

[Incipient Sinner]

"On the bus.....off the bus"

Sweating like a Mississippi n*gg*r in a white rape trial"

"Martin Baker let-down"



PS. Top post Bo.

[alamo]

"To be Newfed" - when one of supposedly inferior intellect gets one over. With apologies to the good people of Goose and Gander etc.

[RRAAMJET]

"SLIPOD" ...senior living-in prince of darkness (each Mess had one)

"Eyes like a London Underground map"

"If wine, women and song are getting too much for you, give up singing..."

"The nurse slapped her at the wrong end when she was born"

variation on previous: "face like a bulldog chewing a wasp"

"Vuja de: none of this sh1t has ever happened to me before"

[Anita Bush]

.....bangs like a belt-fed Wombat.


No, I don't know where that comes from either.

[BEagle]

I thought it was "Bangs like a belt fed mortar"? And no, I haven't met her either....

"Station bicycle store" - WRAF accommodation. Can say that now, political correctos, 'cos there's no such thing as a WRAF (or WAAF) any more. Apart from Susannah York in my dreams, of course....:E

One simile I once heard from that famous Geordie VC10 air engineer instructor "As cold as a well-diggers chuff"

[Anita Bush]

Ahhhhhhhh ...... Susannah York.....Battle of Britain.....

'You there.......put that fag out'

'Don't you bl@@dy well shout at me!!!'

.........Ahhhhhhhhh

[checksix]

.....as usless as an ashtray on a motor bike. :8

[blaireau]

A colourful USN colleague was much prone to simile such as
"Hotter than a freshly f***ed fox in a forest fire"
"Colder than a well diggers ass in the Klondike"
Referring to deck landing of less talented mate,
"Came down like **** from a tall moose"
Referring to poor braking action on said deck,
"Slicker than greased weasel ****"

[Zoom]

Laughs like a drain.

Goes like a train.

Goes like sh*t off a shovel

Goes like greased weasel sh*t.

Dim as a Toc H lamp.

There are 2 kinds of pilots: fighter pilots....and targets.

A good pilot is a pilot with the same number of take-offs and landings.

RHIP

Lift is a gift but thrust is a must, so make with the motion lotion, Daddyo. (Must be from the 50s!)

Kick the tyre, light the fire, first one airborne's the leader.

You must have mistaken me for someone who gives a sh*t.

Try to imagine how little I care.

Terrific thread, this. (No, that's not one!)

[wub]

Two descriptions of small, generally yappy, dogs:

A long-wheelbase rat

A rat on stilts

Others:
As smooth as a tube of crisps

As thick as mince

Skidmarks like Mars Bars

Soars like a fart in a bath

[Zoom]

Big G's squadron in the sky.

Standard NATO (coffee).

(Passing FL250) this time.

I'm their leader; which way did they go?

Same old thing: danger and excitement every day.

From SNCO to new officer cadets:

I'll call you 'sir', and you'll call me 'sir'. The only difference is - you'll mean it.

This from across the pond, which I thought was punchy and unique when I first saw it centuries ago; then I realised that virtually every squadron in the USA had it painted somewhere:

'Through these portals pass the world's greatest fighter pilots.'
(Couldn't have made the GIBs feel too good!)

SNAFU.

God's G.

Rip off their heads and s**t down their necks.

J-79s - the sound of freedom.

Rack it, track it, hack it, f**k it, missed it.

Dagga dagga dagga.....

The variable noise, constant thrust machine. (Applies to much of the RAF's inventory over the past couple of decades.)

Aloominum pursoot toob. (Not very British, what?)

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

Zoom - re. the last one, another version

Twin man, twin fan, all aloominum persoot ship

[BEagle]

Of the Avro York:
"Three fin four fan aloominum spam can"

-and of the B-36:

"Four burning, six turning aloominum overcast"

[Talking Radalt]

"Standard NATO (coffee)."

More coffee decodes:
Julie Andrews: White, none
Whoopi Goldberg: Black, none
Mary Poppins: Like "Julie Andrews" but with a spoonful of sugar

[Shackman]

Following on from the B-36; from a certain Mk 3 Shack (with the added assistance of two Vipers in the outboard nacelles) attempting to make it into Lisbon;

"Two Turning Four Burning -pause - but two of those that's burning should be turning!"

[gearontheglide]

Another Coffee -

Naomi Cambell - Black and sweet

and -

Up and down like a whore's knickers

[Compass Call]

Old age and knowledge will overcome youth and treachery!

Does a bear sh$t in the woods?

Is the Pope a Catholic?

All aloominum persuit ship (Lightning).

CC

[wyvern]

Officer presenting a serious subject on jointery, knocked the lecturn over. "Just my luck - if I fell into a bucket of t*ts, I'd come up sucking my thumb."

Don't know if this is a cliche, I know of it being used only once. Signal from AOC to Squadron Aircraft Recognition Officer after the Group Recognition monthly test, "If Flt Lt ***** persists in his unique way of identifying friendly and enemy bombers and fighters, he'll get MY big up HIS small."

[Unmissable]

If God had meant the Army to fly, he would have made the sky brown.

A pork pie short of a picnic.

[FEBA]

Remember you're my sexual advisor; when I want your f***ing advice I'll ask for it

[Zoom]

More on whores:

Up and down like a whore's drawers on a Saturday night in Hamburg.

[Cardinal Puff]

Old age and treachery will always defeat youth and skill

Some Afrikaans ones:

Vlamgat (Flame @rse) = Fast Jet

Long Wheelbase Stoepkakker (Porch Sh!tter) = yappy rat

Gharry = Land Rover (Indian/Pakistani?)

Landmyn Hoender (Landmine Chicken) = Chicken stew/casserole any dish containing chopped up chicken

[The Swinging Monkey]

'keep it in yer' pants.........'!!

TSM

[teeteringhead]

Heard from a "Good Ol Boy" in UCLA (Ugly Corner of Lower Alabama):

"More jumpy than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs"

[Pindi]

"A computer buff would describe her as user friendly."

"There's no reason for this. It's just our policy."

[Hobo]

Is Cilla Black.

Upside down with nothing on the clock but the maker's name...and that was in Japanese and covered with blood.

Her cr*tch was like a bill poster's bucket.

Working as hard as a Bagdad brickie.

[Talking Radalt]

Does the Pope $hit in the woods?
Are bears Catholic?

:\

[SirPeterHardingsLovechild]

Is a fifteen pound sparrow fat?

[Maple 01]

'I'll give you a deficiency chit, there's bound to be some boots/webbing/aircraft/elephant repellent in theatre'

[BelixA]

Website is finally updated, thanks to all who've sent in the cliches, i just need to keep on top of it now.
once again many thanks, keep em comin'

[Basil]

I was in uniform when you were in liquid form!

Get yer knees brown!

I've spent longer on one wave! (Than you've spent at sea)

Bl**dy Harpic! (clean round the bend)

<<"The pen is mightier than the swod" >>
Could he perhaps have meant "The pen is mightier than the SWO"?
Not true, of course but he may have meant it.


<<More coffee decodes:
Julie Andrews: White, none
Whoopi Goldberg: Black, none>>
Basil claims to have invented these :cool:

[Divergent Phugoid!]

1. At the speed of a thousand gazelles

2. As keen as a nun in a candle factory

3. As rare as a virgin wedding in Chesterfield Church (folklore as to how the spire got its twist)

4. As truthful as a Tony Blair speech

5. Trust me the government does

6. Everything before the but is bollox

7. With all due respect boss...

7 can be used in conjunction with 6... With all due respect boss... BUT...

[Flytest]

RR Gnome engine - "Sally Gunnell" (Not very pretty, but it runs forever)

[Aileron Roll]

We can see the sun, therefore visability is a million miles


The most Dangerous Thing in the world ? ...... A Second Lt with a map and compass

Drink up, and face the traffic with confidence !

[teeteringhead]

Make that 93 million miles Aileron Roll , [pedantic git mode selected OFF]

[piperguider]

'Her chest is like a dead heat in a Zeppelin Race!'

[Training Risky]

The ultimate brew decode guide by TR:

Julie Andrews - white, none.
Adolf Hitler - white, one lump.
Dolly Parton - white, two lumps.
Whoopi Goldberg - black, none.
Linford Christie - black, one lump.
Shirley Bassey - black, two lumps.

---------------------------------------------

A hackneyed old saying that all basic military training instructors use: "You'd better start switching on.... you're in your own time now!"

[Flypro]

Finge et Fuge

Or to you lot........Bodge it and scarper!!!

[Incipient Sinner]

Think I'll march myself back to the Mess, it'll save me having to walk.

[Muppet Leader]

Some for use on annual assessment forms:


This airman would be out of his depth in a cark park puddle.

This airman is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.

I would not breed from this airman.

This airman consistently fails to meet the very low levels that he sets himself.

If this airman had three brain cells he would be lopsided.

[sittingstress]

To explain the origin of the phrase "Bangs like a belt fed Wombat":

The Wombat was a 120mm, single round, recoiless anti-tank weapon. It looked like a huge bazooka tube with wheels. When fired it made an awesome noise but could only be loaded with one round at a time. Therefore it took a reasonable interval for the weapon to be reloaded and refired.

For a "lady" to receive the compliment about being able to bang like a belt fed Wombat means that she is happy to indulge in the act of pleasure at great speed!

Hope this has helped.

CtM (I will be changing my name soon seeing as my master no longer requires my services)

[BelixA]

I need a new idea to replace a page on the rafcliches website.
I liked Muppet Leaders idea of the assessment comments so this may be going on.
Any ideas let me know.

[blaireau]

I would follow this man anywhere out of sheer curiosity.

[Thud_and_Blunder]

Concerning incipient MLT failure:

"One on for departure, braking action poor..."

[Beeayeate]

Concerning a student pilot . . .
"In my opinion this pilot should not be authorised to fly below 250 feet."

Concerning a misfit. . .
"Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig."

Concerning a dipstick . . .
"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

:E

[Otis Spunkmeyer]

More assessment classics on this old thread:-

http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=39036&highlight=Annual+Assessments

[DishMan]

As welcome as a fart in a space suit.

Useful as a chocolate teapot.

Am I hurting you son - well I should be I'm standing on your hair!

[topcat450]

Make sure your straps are tight else you'll be rattling around like a dried pea in a coco tin.

[Chalkstripe]

Whilst practicing drill for the graduation parade at Cranditz:

College Warrant Officer - "If you do that again I will back course you so far that you'll be flying f***ing Sopwith Camels!"

[twenty2fifty]

my favorites which i try to introduce to everyday life where possible, are:

"like greased weasle **** off a hot teflon shovel"

"i need that like a moose needs a hat rack"

and

"stuffed like a fat Sheala's sock!"

[teeteringhead]

Never drink on the forecast!

[mach-hog]

Well how about:

"Flying it like you stole it"
"Going like a greased man-hole cover"
"Droning through the ether"
"Boring a hole through the sky"
"So deep in the cone of confusion, you could use the TACAN needle for a hair dryer"
" Retention of Pilot Officer Bloggs in the employ of the RCAF is depriving some village of an idiot"
"If this student ran off electricity, it would be off the non-essential bus..."

[You want it when?]

One I've used (thank you Mr Fawlty)

Try to understand before one of us dies!